Thursday, May 25, 2017

Pez Outlaw, Incident at the Asylum #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

Break Room

Yesterday an incident occurred, that I would like to apologize for on behalf of the staff n management of Notes From The Asylum.
I'm not going to name names, Skuttlebut LaBelle, but I'm very disappointed.
Yes, we are considering management changes at the top.
We were about to celebrate that my Tweets have earned 95,793 impressions over the last 28 days. That's when a troll came out of the darkness n grabbed the keyboard. It almost destroyed everything we had worked so hard for.
The incident report.
Witness #1. Ice cream. I was in charge of ice cream. We were gonna celebrate a very big day.

Witness #2. Cake. I was in charge of cake. All I remember is that laugh. It was maniacal, I'll never forget it.

 Witness #3. I didn't see anything just heard how horrible it was later.

 Skuttlebut LaBelle, This is a frame job by Pez Outlaw. He never wanted or supported me as editor in chief of Notes From The Asylum. I refuse to resign, he'll have to fire me if he wants to get rid of me.

management is keeping a tight eye on Skuttlebut LaBelle. There will be no repeats of yesterdays cock-up.
Pack Your Shit n Get Out 

The gist of this is telling an imaginary character to leave your life.

Skuttlebut Labelle  has left the Asylum to spend more time with his family.

 Skuttlebut Labelle is no longer affiliated with Notes From The Asylum.

 Skuttlebut Labelle's views are his n his alone, they do not reflect the views of Notes From The Asylum.

 Every since the dust up over  Incident at the Asylum the relationship between the Asylum n Skuttlebut Labelle have been strained.

 Fingers were pointed, feelings were hurt.
I guess it was to much to hope that things could ever be as they were before that dreadful night.

 So now we part ways n the backstabbing begins, as it always does.

 I had hoped that we could part amicably but Skuttlebut is just to much of a hot head.

 Soooo, anyway. That's where we are. A part of me always knew it would never work.

 No new head will be appointed to lead the Asylum.
I believe if we let a comity formed from the inmates run the Asylum, we will have a more Democratic outcome.
I've always felt that the best way to run anything was by comity.

What could possibly go wrong with that? 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence



Pez Outlaw Diary







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Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Pez Outlaw, My Beard Took A Left #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.


My face is just a bit player in my facial DRAMA.
There's Pez Outlaw, Me, n the Beard.
Gettin crowded in here.

My brain seems to have followed.
The real question is. Who put my Beard in charge of today's post?
Chicken n Egg dilemma. If my beard jumped off a bridge, would I? 
Separation anxiety n fear of heights aside, NO! 
I'm just saying, at times my beard has a mind of it's own. More later.
My beard n I have been together 45 years n rarely agree.
This entire post was not of my free will, my beard threatened me.
It's an ugly situation.Told my beard, I'll write it but then you're on your own.
It's a Hell of a thing. 

The Duality of Beardyness
The left side of my beard is feeling kinda straight today.
The right side of my beard is having none of that n feelin real curly.
I guess my brain isn't the only schizophrenic part of my head.

I hope that helps. 
Perspective is everything. 
Things must be looked at in context.


Pez Outlaw, Commie Pinko, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit are all Asylum Favorites. 
I really wish that I was clever enough to write a story using all four characters together on one adventure. 
Truth be told even if I did it probably would only amuse me. 
Kinda like Alien vs Predator or Godzilla vs Mothra.
Reference was just an excuse to insert photo.

If any of you clever folk out there like on cartoon network wanna take a shot at a cartoon featuring Pez Outlaw, Commie Pinko, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit, I'm cheap n easy to deal with.

 I can be bought for a few thousand bucks + residuals n 2% of the action. 

 Crazy thing is, I have an agent out in Hollywood that you can contact if interested. 

Imagine what the Poster for Pez Outlaw, Commie Pinko, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit might look like?

What do you think? Would a cartoon based on the adventures of Pez Outlaw, Commie Pinko, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit be out of the norm or fit right in.

Go Left.To the point n not related to anything stated previously in this post.
Bed head vs Beard Head.
Somehow blankets n pillows have the same effect on a beard as getting a permanent.
When your beard is rather long this can result n often does in a sharp left like a bent arm.
Just on the weird list n very annoying.
It's a better title than story.


Kathy just taught me something.
I've never got the whole 's thing.
Always get it wrong she said because it belongs to. OK, that I understand.

By the way. This post has received 300 views in 4hrs, my grade is a B.
500 would be an A.
Billy Dog is goin sideways, gotta go. 

All in All, I'm kinda pleased with myself today. 
That's saying a lot, because our weather is severe today.
Just spent 3hrs in snow, gusting wind, 17 degrees. 
Headed back out. 1 more hour. 
I like to be out in the weather long enough to appreciate what the horses are dealing with. 
Handed out extra sweet hay again today, the horses appreciate it a lot. 

Hands Up or The Beard Gets It

wanted a pic. made this in Art Therapy
That'll get you a spot at Happy Horse Asylum, easy peasy.

Quiz, which 2 words in previous sentence are ...

Yesterdays post My Beard Took A Left #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw got a B in 4hrs, but went on to earn an A+ within 24hrs of post with over 500 views.
Not bad for a guy doin time in Happy Horse Asylum.

Yes I am a resident of Happy Horse Asylum, a mental institution for the rest n recuperation of damaged souls.
It's not so bad here, to pass some of the time we started a news letter called The Daily Straitjacket.
You might have seen the 2 issues that we smuggle out in the laundry.

 In group therapy sessions my beard n I have been going at each other for 6 months now.
Quite the brouhaha. I think marriage counseling would serve our conflict better.
My biggest problem with my beard is he's such an arrogant bastard.
Everything is about the beard.

I got so mad at my beard 2 weeks ago that I cut 4 inches off.
Well that didn't go down well. 
Neither did the stream of beard short jokes that followed.

 My main form of therapy besides writing here at Happy Horse Asylum is caring for the horses.
In the real world a feller that talks to horses n dogs gets the eye, round here it's not all that unusual.
The weather has been kinda cold n windy but we're all doing well.

The Old Man (horse) is looking really good for 36, that's like 100 in people years.
He n Johnny (horse) give me a real hard time when I haul the hay around at feeding time.
Johnny n the Old Man yank bales off the tractor like big ole farm boys n just toss them.
Not to mention the scrum at the front of the tractor, where the action is.

I gotta tell ya, it just doesn't seem like I have as much time to do things as I used to.
Yes 18 horses as opposed to 12-14 takes more time.
Though I think the real problem is that I'm movin around slower now.
I use old man walk to rest while doing stuff, so stuff naturally takes longer.
Some old guys just keep ramming around, then they fall over.
To me pace is everything. I can still do the things I used to, but pace will determine how long I get to do it.

Horse Poo Projects, The Department of HPP.
HPP continues, snow n cold weather don't stop the flow.
It comes so I move it.
Thank God for my new snow chains I bought on ebay.
I only put chains on the front tires, but with 4 wheel drive it's all I really need.
So far the tractor has conquered all.
Which by the way is great because I use the tractor a lot to increase my capabilities n endurance.

I can't wait to plant the new Wild Flower patches, the beds are all prepped.
Josh brought over a big sack of Sun Flower seeds, will make a very nice addition.
I guess that's what you do in winter, look forward to spring.

Everybody is going lotto nuts.
Kathy is in 2 groups buying tickets.
I'm probably the only person on planet earth that hopes she does not win.
1.5 Billion is just to much money.
One tenth of 1.5 billion is to much money, life would become to complicated.
I could handle 2 to 5 million but 1.5 billion, that's just stupid. 
There should be a Lotto rule that each increment of 100 million n the lotto splits.
200 million is 2 drawings that nigt of 100 million each.
1.5 billion is 15 drawings in one night for 100 million each.
1.5 billion in one pot is just stupid.
 

Why Not?

Just measured the length of my beard. 
12 inches from my chin.

Not important in the slightest.
Just that it's the longest my Beard has ever been

I've had a beard since 1970.
When I worked in the shop it never got longer than about 3 inches, because if it did it would always get singed off from the heat of welding or a cutting torch.

It's farrier day which means Henry (Amish) is here to trim the horse's hooves.
Henry is the best, so I guess you could say I have an Amish friend.
Seems like every few years Henry gets a new apprentice from the Amish community.
Did you know that if your a young Amish man you are not allowed to grow a beard unless you are married.
The young man Henry has right now is unmarried.
I asked him when he was getting married. He said at one point that he wasn't sure he was going to marry.
I told him that I'd get married just so I could grow a beard.

 I warned Henry a while back that if things keep going like they are he n his community might become real popular.

 I will end this vacuous post with the following.
I have no immediate plans to trim my beard.
Think about it.
If unnamed people actually make the movie wouldn't I make a more interesting old coot to do PR on behalf of Pez Outlaw with a beard down to there.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence



Pez Outlaw Diary

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Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Pez Outlaw, When Captain Kangaroo Was COOL! #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.


1955 was a wonderful year.
When you are 4 years old you have no idea what's cool, you like what you like.

If I wanted to sound cool I'd say Howdy Doody but the real show I remember watching was Captain Kangaroo.
Be honest, would you tell your friends that Captain Kangaroo was your favorite childhood TV show. 
Maybe the most uncool thing you could say, even though it is in all likelihood the truth.

Here's a good example, 3 days ago Wally Gator, El Kabong etc, lots of response because they are considered cool cartoons. 
Today Captain Kangaroo TRUTH, zero response, uncool.
Gotta admit I am naturally drawn to things that are considered uncool.
Uncool fits me like an old pair of gloves.

No problem because truth be told, I am uncool.
At least I hope I am. 
I've seen what's considered cool today.
Yeah, I wanna be the opposite of that, Thank You Very Much. 

I admit to being deeply contrarian. 
I am compelled in the opposite direction of any crowd.
Y'all are goin that way, cool, I'll go this way. 
I don't wanna see the same thing you all will see, I wanna see something different.

Robert "Bob" Keeshan aka Captain Kangaroo. June 27, 1927 – January 23, 2004
Captain Kangaroo was on TV from October 3, 1955 to December 8, 1984 CBS

Bob Keeshan aka Captain Kangaroo was the original Clarabell The Clown on the Howdy Doody show.

 I watched Howdy Doody, I know that I must have, it was the in show of my childhood.
Funny thing though I don't have any memories of watching the Howdy Doody show.
I do though have a ton of memories of Captain Kangaroo. 

In 1960 Bob Keeshan aka Captain Kangaroo, tried a new character of Mister Mayor for 1 year on CBS.

Bob Keeshan as Captain Kangaroo
Mr. Green Jeans was played by
Hugh Brannum
Cosmo Allegretti as Moose, Mr. Bunny Rabbit, Grandfather Clock n Dancing Bear
Though how we got here today was that it occurred to me this morning that Tom Terrific was probably my first cartoon.
In 1955 I was 4 years old, which coincided with the birth of the Captain Kangaroo show.
This give or take a year or 2 was also about the time we got our first TV.
For sure though, 4 years old was when I became truly aware of TV n could understand it. 
At 4 years old no school yet but I did watch Captain Kangaroo every morning.

 So Tom Terrific was in all likelihood my first cartoon show.


Tom Terrific

Mighty Manfred The Wonder Dog

Crabby Appleton
In My Element.
Did you really just start a fight about Captain Kangarooooooo,
YUP!
No, wait, What?

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence



Pez Outlaw Diary

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Pez Outlaw, Truth is Fungible.#pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.


The title of this post comes from the very overused term in the financial world "Money is fungible"
meaning that one source of money replaces another n that money replaces??????????
Ok it's basically a snake eating its tail.
UMMM, moving on, nothing to see here.

 Notes From The Asylum has existed for just under 5 yrs.
with how I bang away about it, I know it seems like forever.
Until Jeff Maysh & Playboy only Pez Outlaw Diary existed.
I created the Asylum as a busy project after Jeff n Hollywood in an attempt to stay outa trouble.
I know, I know, that didn't work.
In the end though I think something better rose from the troubles of that time.
Notes From The Asylum, hands down not even a contest is the most successful thing by a margin of 300% that I've ever written.

 Notes From The Asylum just reached 1 million  views.

 I have though changed my priorities of late.
It used to be 75% of my efforts each day on the Asylum n Pez Outlaw, trying to achieve a small possibility of a $75,000.00 payday from Hollywood.
Bird in the hand told me I was squandering my efforts on, well a fantasy.
I have realistic payday on ebay at $150,000.00 worth of listings.
Even 1/3 of that money would change my life n it's right there, all I have to do is earn it.
Now my workday here in the office is split into 3rds.
Priority #1 ebay, promote etc all listings myself, I swear when I paid ebay to promote that they mostly promoted my items to me.
By promoting my ebay listings i'm seeing far higher results.

 I will continue each day to promote Pez Outlaw but I will only give it 1hr per day not 3hrs.
This is to keep my hand in n feed the possible, no matter how unrealistic it might be.
Also I suffer mentally when my fantasy world is not allowed to share reality.

 ps. when I just mentioned Bird in the hand told me, that was a referance to Birdie the cat, she is very wise.

OK back to fantasy land where all things are possible n we are all HERO's in our own stories.
This is Pez Outlaws hr of the day.

 It occurred to me yesterday that truth is less important than a good story and a good character.
My point is that I wonder if a romping adventure based on the life of Pez Outlaw might not be a way to go.
A ghost writer I know has dealt with a lot of stories concerning crime etc n capers of all sorts.
I just wonder if a clever melding of that area of expertise with the real life story of Pez Outlaw might yield a good enough story.

 I just think that it would be OK if a really entertaining story was told "Based on the real life story of Pez Outlaw".
Maybe because it's my life that we are talking about, I think it would be fun to spice it up even more.
This is not to say that the Pez Outlaw story itself is inadequate in any way, to the contrary it by itself is kinda unbelievable.
But Why Not Go For The Gold?

 I did not lie to you.
I just left the boring stuff out.
Then I fluffed the pillows.

It's like how I prefer to remember my father.
I omit the Alcoholism along with it's Baggage.
I omit the serial Infidelity to my mother.
I remain aware of these facts, but I prefer to remember his strength.
My father was an extremely hard working man.
My work ethic was shaped by the example he set.

 You maintain the core truth, but.
The Truth is Fungible.
You can move portions of it around.
Discard what distracts.
Emphasize to stress points.
Shape the facts to support the purpose.

So, Do I care how someone else might tell my story? NO!
In story telling, the story changes a little with each successive person who tells it.
Hopefully by the time the last person tells it, it's a good story. Worth listening to.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence



Pez Outlaw Diary





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Saturday, April 15, 2017

Pez Outlaw, "Normal" #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.


You don't tell people what you know to be true.
You wear the face that people expect to see.

Do you have any idea what a gift being normal is?
I have no idea what it's like.
Happy people are a real mystery to me. 
I consider neutral a very good day.

Notes From The Asylum is my therapy.
I watched the Brian Wilson movie last night.
Kinda depressing for me but it did end well.
Imagine hearing music.

It occurred to me that all he was doing was sharing what was in his head with the rest of the world.
Sound familiar?
Sharing is good, right?

Prompted me to ask Kathy the question that you never should. 
Guy was a bit crazy, I'm not that bad am I?
Kathy's answer, Sometimes.

Kathy n only Kathy has earned the right. 
What sanity I have, she helped me find.
Years of what even I can see was crazy, earned Kathy that right.

That was then though n this is now.
The years I even see as crazy are behind me.
I like to think of myself as a softer gentler crazy now. 

Which by the way is why I say forgive yourself of your past.
Every morning is a rebirth, a fresh start.
With that new day, try to get it right.

I answer Kathryn now, Yes Mam n No Mam.
My goal is to repay her for her years of faith that I was wort the time n effort.
She earned what I have left in life to give, I intend to make that good.

I understand that I have a unique perspective, but have rationalized it to a sense of normal.
You just can't begin to see how others see you.
I put it away by saying, it is what it is.

That's another reason I will never see the Pez Outlaw movie.
If Brian Wilson's story bothered me, just imagine one about yourself.
No way I'm lookin in that mirror.

Thing is of course they're gonna go with the crazy, it's the hook. 
N that's fine I get it.
I want n need the payday, so you know, have at it boys.

Back to Kathy's answer, sometimes yeah you're that crazy.
Immediately your mind wants to rewind the clips n review.
Which parts?

You understand I can't see it, right.
The only times I get a glimpse is in the eyes of people around me. 
A look on someones face, but even that by now is just normal.

 People have been lookin at me weird since I was a kid.
Hippie thing, Straight Jacket, n now I look like Santa Claus.
Collar on a few hundred dollar new leather jacket irritates me, I cut it off. 

 I don't know what to tell you, I just can't see it.
I'm aware of it n accept it but Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Hate to tell ya but to me my mind is normal, your mind is the one I don't understand.

 I haven't got a freakin clue what it's like to be "Normal".
I only know what I know.
I only see the world the way I see it.

 So when I go in you know that direction, no way I see it.
I've learned to embrace the word crazy.
My attempt is to take the word crazy back, to own it.

 Brian Wilson's movie might be a sign of what's to come in the Pez Outlaw Movie.
I honestly have to leave that one alone also.
I've cut my deal, It is what it is.

 I trust the people involved.
My only suggestion is, make a movie people enjoy.
How I come off is for you n they to decide.

No different than now.
I can not control how others perceive me. 
Crazy would be to try.

Truth is I never asked Kathy, which parts.
I just accepted what she said n let it go.
Though as you can see, I did write about it. 

 Waste not want not.
I thought linking to trending tweets might be something. IT'S NOT!
Just trying to promote the cause.

That Probably was a Bad Idea

Then let's not do that.
N This is a better idea?

It would appear I temporarily lost control.
A saboteur had the controls. 

 It happens.
51% sane.
2 points n ?

You mean like low tide?
What????
Sure, Why Not.

You get to thinking.
Well that was you're 1st mistake. 
Stop That!

Believe it or not, the whole thing started or stemmed from an imaginary interview. 
Nothing bad ever results from an imaginary reporter interviewing you.

Hey, Are you sure we should be sharing this?
I mean, starting to sound, Well Nuts.

 Oh don't worry bout it, I think we're on a good foot now.
Ok, But you know what happened last time.

 You gotta be more specific.
Which last time we talking about?

Never mind.
I think we already jumped off that bridge. 

You're starting to get on my nerves. 

















After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence



Pez Outlaw Diary






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Thursday, April 13, 2017

Pez Outlaw, Snakes On The Ceiling #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.


Snakes on the ceiling

 the sanctuary of darkness
twisted sheets, dreading daylight

 repetition, trying to understand the moment
Time slips away

 each day a domino falling to the next
the scales of time out of favor

 praying for the dream
dreading the reality sunshine brings

 I told a friend yesterday that I only get depressed when my fantasy world fails me.
One on One Human interaction just wears me out.
On the other hand, I embrace this new world of communication through typing.
I actually enjoy that.

 Last nights 2am to 4am dream.
I was in a Cruise ship Hotel/port.
I missed my ship. Yeah I know, kinda on the nose.
Anyway, I couldn't get anybody to listen to me.
Maybe, the bigger Metaphor.

Jeff asked me yesterday, How are you doing? 

I've always found that question uncomfortable.
Truth be told on the best of days I'm 50/50.
I always count that as a good day.

 My guilty TV viewing pleasure is Ancient Aliens.
Whatever you wanna say is fine.
On a recent view it was going into the great minds over the centuries.
The point I walked away with was the common link in one form or another to meditation.

 I told Kathy n she said, you could start.
I told her that I'm to old n more important, maybe it's not a good idea.
I've been in there a lot, I'm not sure I want to go back.
Best if I dip in and out with glancing blows.

 It's like how the baby boomers are all thinking about dying.
I watch them, they are doing things that to me are preparation to saying goodbye.
Like death is a new concept to them.
I've been dealing with mortality since I was 4 or 5 years old.

 Death is like chasing your tail, no point to it whatsoever.
Just get up each morning n deal with the day in front of you.
No more thought than that is required.
Of course each day is a new beginning, a chance to do better.

To waist one moment of precious life with thoughts of death is foolish.
Death will get it's allotted time, don't give it any of life's time.

So, How am I doing?
Man I got No Idea. 
Nuts to this, I'm gonna go out n start the tractor up.
Move some horse poo. 

BTW my answer to Jeff was, Waiting.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence



Pez Outlaw Diary

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