Pez Outlaw, Inoculating Against Celebrity #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

I've always understood that if you seek to rise from the crowd, you become a target.
I've already been knocked down once when I dared to stand.
If I get a second chance, lets hope I've leaned to duck.

People who are condemned to mediocrity or failure need to find a reason or consolation for why you rose n no matter how hard they try, they can not. Some form of consolation. Therefore you must have cheated, been dishonest or simply are not a good person.

Mediocrity demands a tethered Goat.
Think I'm overly harsh? Look at all the examples of the mighty who fall n the glee that there decent is gossiped about.

That is precisely why when I started writing Pez Outlaw Diary I knew I had better expose my own skeletons myself. I knew that if I did not disclose everything myself, that the very second I achieved anything with Pez Outlaw Diary somebody would come along wishing to grab some limelight by telling tales.

So I wrote Chapter 11. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, S... . I knew that no matter how embarrassing my past might be, I wanted to achieve whatever was possible only with it being all out there, every step of the way.

What I did not figure into my reasoning was that CRAZY would become part of the persona of Pez Outlaw. Crazy became that part that was interesting n made him tick. Crazy is now an integral part of the Pez Outlaw brand.

Political strategists will always advise, get it all out there early, so that it can become old news.
The newer trend is to own it. Don't let others bully you with it.
So Pez Outlaw is Crazy. Yes of course he is, what's your point?

You used Heroin when you were a young man. Yes, what's your question?
Did you use other drugs as a young man? Yes, everything I could get my hands on.
Were you ever diagnosed as a schizophrenic? Yes, among other things, yes.
Have you ever been in jail? Yes, 30 days maximum security.

I've been told that very soon my life will be in the spotlight.
I figured I better highlight my negatives again before somebody else does.
To say the least, I am not a perfect person.
I strive to change, be better.

The Good n the bad, I am Pez Outlaw.

I tell you everything, sometimes until it bleeds.

Example, did you ever stick your hand into a HOT Fry pan on the stove? Yes.

Sometimes there is no good WHY! Just what happened.

Over the last 20yrs I've learned how to focus n use my crazy to my benefit.

The above story/incident happened shortly after I got the boot from The Marine Corps for being crazy.

The last few years I've kinda wonder why the USMC felt no responsibility or care at all about the condition that they sent me back into the world after breaking me down to remold.

I received no help, no benefits of any kind n in a lot of ways not even allowed to say that I was in the Marine Corps.

Those V.A. Home loans no way buddy.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Fame for Pez Outlaw, obscurity for me #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

My reward will be his success.

Whenever I want to move on from something I don't like or that was pointless, I throw dirt on it.
Throwing dirt on something is a figurative statement to me.
Throw dirt on it = bury it with an avalanche of posts. 

Recently I had a talk with a person from the past, as in my past life.
I had high hopes that this conversation, might be informative or at the very least controversial.
Even bad press is press n notoriety is or can be forward motion.

No other way to say it, It was a disappointment. 
To be honest I'm not clear what the person was searching for.
Either way it deviated from my prime objective, which is the promotion of Pez Outlaw.

I steal 2-3hrs of every day to push my agenda.
I know how awful that sounds, but I set this goal over a decade ago n I refuse to deviate until I succeed. 
So when a pursuit/conversation cuts to deeply into that 2-3hrs without any visible gain I just can't afford it.

I've told you that I have zero money, which means time is my currency.
None of us are truly poor, we just have different assets.
When I lost everything n could not buy a solution to my predicament I realized my new asset/weapon was the Internet n that time was what I had to spend to achieve my goals.

I just can't get bogged down in long trips down memory lane unless they move the Pez Outlaw agenda forward.
I didn't come to the Internet to find relationships, I came here to give Pez Outlaw a voice.
So what appears interesting to others is sometimes only a waste of my most precious commodity, Time. 

Look, I've told you I'm a Hermit n this is not gonna change.
Truth is even after I achieve my goals, this is actually only gonna get worse.
My dream is fame for Pez Outlaw n obscurity for myself.

Johanne said "You like to sell fast, I like to sell slow. We will see who wins."
To that I say, "He who writes the history of the event wins."
I'm very single minded in my goals, you would be correct to say I have tunnel vision on my goals to the exclusion of everything else. Everything.

Branded with personal defects as deficits that I now use as my strengths.
I'm an alphabet soup of crazy: schizophrenic, bipolar, ADD, compulsive obsessive etc.
These are my assets now, I have focused these flaws into my goal of making Pez Outlaw a success.

A week ago the news was not good n I think you could tell I was no longer on my game.
Well that's over, no matter what the news is at any step of my journey, as long as I have breath I will not stop in my pursuit of promoting the Pez Outlaw story.

I have no choice but success.
Once Pez Outlaw is finished, then I can rest.
Hopefully that rest includes a mountain of Bank Run/dirt with stones n my tractor.

I seek obscurity but I want Pez Outlaw to have his Fame.
I'm schizophrenic, so of course this is possible.
It wouldn't be the first time that I threw someone outa my mind.
I do it all the time, the real problem is keeping them out. 

That friends is how you throw dirt on something.
Meanwhile, I've got $4.37 in my account, but I'm rich with time. 
Yes I keep score, if I didn't Rudy/dog would haunt me. 

Which answers your other question.
Do you care what anyone thinks of you.
Yes, I care what my dogs think of me. 

To all the folks on twitter trying to sell me services.
I've got $4.37 in my account.
Poor, you've sunk a dry hole. 

Take a really good look at my profile pic.
Twitter folks, Do you really think you can manage that?
The Best have tried. 

Each day being compulsive obsessive there are 3 goal, goals within goals.
1. view count for opening post.
2. daily view count 1,000-1,500.
3. Lifetime view count must pass the next thousand.

Sorry for going on.
A post must open at 200 views.
We're good now. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Pez Outlaw, Broken Toys, Shattered Dreams. #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

the absurdity, defies imagination

broken toys
shattered dream
picking up the pieces

create from nothing
fluff the pillows
reflection of the journey

unfulfilled aspiration
betrayed by reality
the reaper approaches

we're in the Asylum  
nothing is what it appears
agendas distort truth

clear the racks, load the bin
no emotion, no investment
writes better than it plays

I walk between two worlds
slowly the dominoes fall  
maybe today

I hope people like me
irony washed over me
write without fear


fabricate a reality
shape the perception
silence 


is it time to put on the garbage bags
I woulda survived that iceberg
only 3 people know 

Raining really hard right now, so I've got 3.5 dogs all hovering under my feet. 
Po's in the living room, she could give a shit.
 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary
     

Pez Outlaw At The Crossroads #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

Lately, A thought persists.

You come into this life with nothing & you leave this life with nothing. With luck though you take your memories with you. So I try very hard not to dwell on the this & thats of life.

The money you make or don't make is of no real consequence.

That's what I tell myself anyway.

To be slited or thought of well, is of again no consequence.

We take with us a life lived as well as we could.

That after all was the challenge we were given at birth.

To do the best we can & help others with no expectation in return.

This is not about death, it is actually about Life.

Long ago when I was a very young child, my mother used to say to me.

"Life is full of things that you Don't wanna do."

I try to hide, Best I can. But these things always find me.

Chores in really bad weather is the worst.

Even the Puppy starts out really strong, then 10 minutes later even she has had enough.

My Mother was right. There are no days off or Quitting on a farm.

Like Darlin Girl Says. "Life is really Hard".

There is a price to pay when you are "Old as Croesus" & still have Best I know, Good Health.

Guy below is Croesus. You would also know him as "Rich as Croesus".

I've got the Old as. Can I have the Rich as?

We are all forged in the fire of the adversity of our lives.

Each of us will meet that moment that tests the results.

The tragedies in your life are not your life's story.

They just prepare you for what is yet to come.
The dreams you refuse to let die are your life's story.
The isolation of that belief in yourself is your story.
The refusal to surrender your dreams to a reality you reject is your story.

Today while walking behind the lawn mower, this is the conversation I had with myself.
Do poor n middle class folks face different moral decisions than White collar n rich.
Do some of us not have the luxury of high moral standards?

This came up because I was imagining being interviewed by a reporter for the movie about Pez Outlaw that saw my behavior in a dim light.
I'd have no problem with his view, but what would be my answer.
I arrived at the previous statement.

It was once said to me that "This could have been so much easier".
I can see how that might or would be true with anyone else.
Is it even possible for something to happen differently than it did.
People are complicated, many factors influence the path we must walk. 
With others I'm sure this could've been easier.
If Pez Outlaw were/was other people though you'd never have asked.

Recently I spent the night wandering the streets of an inner city.

My Bodyguard commented Later.

"I had one Job, to keep an eye on him n I lost him."

When told that I was in an alley somewhere, he was mortified.

Have I mentioned that I don't have a drivers license?

Yet there I was driving round n round the Cop Shop?????

In the past 5yrs I've had 7 offers to join the circus.

Then my old friends from 5yrs ago also contacted me.

I have mixed feelings about the latter.

We parted ways on not so good of terms???

I wonder if we shouldn't wait, see who else might be interested.

I............ I've worked 20yrs on this, I can wait another year.

When Jeff Maysh wrote his story about Pez Outlaw for Playboy I was promised Pez Outlaw Diary would be mentioned in it. It was not.

Then I was told to leave it up as a resource.

I want my work to be respected n get the credit that it's due.

At 74 I find myself at a crossroads in life.
yrs ago I started this post.

The Oscar winning movie producer/movie deal and The Star writer (Playboy Pez Outlaw story) had just walked away n broke off all lines of communication.

I felt everything I'd worked 17yrs for crumble under my feet.

Instinctively I just put my head down n went back to work.

I will admit it was probably the lowest point for me in the Pez Outlaw project.

Then

Tina Christison Gunsauls

re-entered my life (we were at 1 week from foreclosure on the farm} with generosity n support on a very big scale, Tina changed everything. I'm not sure that even Tina knows how important she has been.

A Spanish Documentarian expressed interest in the story.

I attended my 1st convention in 20yrs as Tina's guest, it went very well.

In the last 1yr period 3 more documentary film makers approached me about the Pez Outlaw story.

To be honest I'm kinda surprised how things have worked out.

I've had to question my motives n adjust my behavior.

I now believe That I enjoyed the fight n struggle a bit to much, meaning that I self sabotaged the BIG MOVIE DEAL so I could go back to fighting.

Sometimes there are things that must be said, even if it embarrasses you to acknowledge them. When Pez Outlaw is a success

Tina Christison Gunsauls

deserves a very big "THANK YOU DARLIN" from the bottom of my heart & I want the world to know it.

My biggest challenge is that the fight has been all I've known for over 20yrs, I'm not sure that I know who I am or what to do without it.

I've got a 5yr plan but as nuts as it might sound, I will miss getting up every day n putting in the hours of work to gain visibility for the Pez Outlaw Story.

I honestly don't know who I am without it.

  

Eventually there will be a ton of pictures here when I'm told it's ok.

Opening shot.
10yr old boy being dragged by a teacher to the classroom closet.
The boy is pushed into darkness & the door is closed.
A light comes on & it's that same boy in a 4ftx4ft cell (the Hole) in a county jail.
Sudden violent turbulence & the passenger on a tiny plane flying from Austria to Slovenia wakes up wondering what had led him to that moment in time.

The in between is a composite of the adventures of Pez Outlaw, his rise n fall.
Followed by the 2 decades of struggle to get Pez outlaw made into a movie.
The story is the struggle, the belief of a person in themselves.
3 decades of belief.


Closing Shot.
Camera to the back of an old man in the dark watching a lit stage of a movie about his life being made.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

The reasons Pez Outlaw was targeted by Pez Corpora...

Pez Outlaw, The Sockology of Cell Phones #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

People talk about cell phones & carriers.

I don't have a clue, Personally I have the tin can & string plan.

A line outage to me is when Lucy dog chews the string or Jelly cat jumps it because he thinks it's funny.

I want to share a secret with you. One of the many quirks I have is that I wear 3 pairs of socks, 1 pair over the other every day. I can't explain this to you, I just do.

This is said to help you understand.  Do's n Don'ts of Socks If you have 2 socks n one is softer than the other one, which foot does the softer sock go on? The right foot is the correct answer. That this matters is the point. If I do not put the softer sock on my right foot it will bother the hell out of me till I correct it.  

Cell Phones

My entire adult life, I have despised telephones. They just annoy the hell out of me, what an absolute waste of time. I even ripped a wall phone off the wall n threw it out the back door once. That was back when I was young n didn't control my temper well.

I do not talk on cell phones or any other type of telephone. 
In the 1990s when I sold PEZ I talked on them all the time. I had no choice. 
To tell the truth though I had to speak so cryptically about my business, it would've been better n easier if I hadn't.
Now though, I just find them an annoying intrusion on my life.

I do own a flip type cell phone but I never turn it on, it's only for emergencies.
Update.
Kathy turned off my cell phone because she was paying for a phone that NEVER EVER was turned on. That was 5yrs ago, I never noticed.

I can't tell you the number of people who are annoyed thinking that of course they should be an exception to my rule.

Friends for 20+ years. No.

My older brother after the Playboy story came out was very pissed because kathy told him that I would not talk to him on her phone.

Unnamed people concerning Pez Outlaw Diary n unnameable things about it. Very annoyed that surely they should be exceptions to the rule. Like somehow it's only for the story, surely not a real thing. No.

You are who you are. Don't fight the things others think are crazy, just get them done so you can move on.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall.
Whose The Fairest Of Us All? 

Things I Like

 
For several years when I was younger Kathy covered all the mirrors in the house with towels for me.
The reason was that it really messed up my head to look at myself.
I do not look at myself in the mirror, if I accidentally catch a glimpse, I block it out.

I avoid anyone who wants to take a picture of me and I don't look at pictures of myself.
I do sit for Christmas  family photo's, it's a tradition in Kathy's family.
Because it's important to Kathy I do it, but I don't look at them.

I prefer not to be referred to by any name, especially steven. 
You know how you speak to someone when you can't remember there name. 
Buddy, Hey or just plain ignoring any name, that's how I like it.

If you use my name, you sorta already pissed me off. 
I get over it, but it make things awkward for a minute. 
I know, what a whack job, if only that was all of it.

I dislike any form of external reference to myself that I'm exposed to.
The article in April 2015 Playboy, nope never read it.
The Movie, won't watch it. I will help write the book, but won't read it. 

Unlike photo's I do want the Movie and the Book and will help in any way I can to make them happen.
N yes if photo's are needed in or to promote the Movie n the Book, of course I will allow it.
As long as I don't have to look at them. 

All this boils down to my need for an abstract non entity that I project from.
I want no self image or markers to be labeled as or from.
I would prefer my thoughts, what I say n how I act are the only way I am viewed.

Mirrors, photo's n names are negatives n distractions from the inner me.
To me my mind is everything n the only thing I want to project.
My mind is the only thing I want to be remembered.

I'm not concerned with how others view me, it to is only a distraction.
Though I do accept that the perception of me by others is valid.
I do not argue with it, but your perception is yours not mine.

I've stated before that reality is a mutually agreed upon construct.
One that I don't necessarily agree with, I just play along.
To defy the agreed upon reality would mean self destruction.

That's why I think that there will be a Pez Outlaw movie.
You know, Why not.
To others it's, Oh that would never happen to someone like me.

Hell I'm not even sure any of this is real, so why not a Pez Outlaw Movie.
One thing is certain, none of this is real or important after I'm dead, so again Why Not a Pez Outlaw movie.
After all, Who remembers the first guy that brought down a Mastodon n that was a pretty big deal at the time.

Well that didn't get me locked on twitter.
So far, so good.
Fingers crossed.

There are things I'm told I should not like, to be honest I just don't care. 
Actually they make me laugh.



I have absolutely no interest in what I look like. For the record it's Santa Claus. I'm much more interested in a pure presentation to the world of myself not a physical presentation.

Inner strength, self confidence etc.

My  grand-kids squabble, one cries out she says i'm or should must do x, y or z.
How different this is from myself as a child. Someone said I was or had to do x, y or z.
My answer was always a defiant NO!

Nobody told me anything when I was a kid. I'd figure it out for myself, thank you very much.
Nothing has changed.



Technology

Kathy once bought a cordless telephone for her mother. Her mother refused to use it. After seeing most of the 20th centuries changes in technology, she had had enough change.

In the 1980s n early 1990s I was very geeked out by technology at the time, I loved it. I even had one of the early bag type cell phones, then paid tons for the first clam shell type phones.

Well like my mother in-law I'm now done. My current cell phone is a flip phone & I never turn it on.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Join The Pez Outlaw Revolution #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime, Peacock, Sling & Pluto. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW. Thank You.

If the Pez Outlaw Movie is not on your streaming Provider? Please contact them & ask For it.

#FreePezOutlaw

I use & say this phrase in reference to the 25yrs I have lived in Purgatory Trying to regain the life that was stolen from me by Pez Corporation.

I spent 20yrs of my life building a Business That earned eventually 4.5 million Dollars by 2001. In 1998 I invested 1/2 million dollars in legitimate pez product from Pez Corporation. I was promise all this product would stay exclusive to me. Only to have Pez USA duplicate every bit of it to start there 1st Pez Website.

I lost everything. All the years of work to get there & my 1/2 million dollar investment.

I spent the next 25yrs in a Finacial Purgatory, in many years Extreme poverty. We almost lost the farm several times, in one case within a week of it happening.

There is a popular country song that has a line that says it all.

"Getting back up, is the only backup plan you need".

When everything that you worked for is taken from you, the road back is very long & difficult. People around you think you are crazy & that your choice to keep going against unbelievable odds is foolish.

Everyone said I should quit, move on & let it go. I just couldn't.

So I use the word Purgatory to describe the past 25yrs.

#FreePezOutlaw

Post Script.

No matter what wonderful things may happen Like the Pez Outlaw Movie etc. Mom & I will never be the same. Those 25yrs scarred us much like our Depression Era Grandparents.

We stay very nervous about money.

We tend to not trust happy words about Beautiful things to come.

We live modestly.

Personally. I have gone from an outgoing person in the 1990s to a recluse. I rarely leave our Farm.

That is not to say we are unhappy, But we have changed.

Life tends to do that.