The Daily Straitjacket #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

new profile pic captures my essence

Please Forgive me, But I have trouble relating to Rich Folk problems or causes.

We're just scratching it out down here.

Yesterday, my brain was not having a good day.
A feeling of impending doom was on me for most of the day.
Have I been conditioned over the last 2 decades to think that if anything good happens for me that something bad is coming?

I watch rich successful people n wonder.
They seem comfortable with there success for the most part, almost like it's there right.
Me. 1994 to 1998 I might have been able to believe n live like that. 
Then Pez Corporation pulled the rug out from under me. see Pez Outlaw Diary .
Now, any time life starts feeling good I immediately start worrying that something horrible is about to happen.

My hope is that because I've spent 15 years working on and planning this project, that thing will be different this time.
I have defined goals and expectations. 
Though at times I can't shake the fear that if I succeed a dark hand of impending doom waits.

Here's a big part of the plan.
I have no intention of saving anything from whatever revenue streams come from the Pez Outlaw project.
I fully intend to spend it all immediately.
Pay Bills, improve equipment n facilities.
Basically get on a better footing so our required monetary outlay each month is reduced and hopefully our revenue intake increases modestly. 

I desire a life where ends meet, not excess.
Beyond that I'll give any overflow to the kids.
I want to be worth more alive than dead.

If I can remove the oppression of Bills and secure what we have, that's enough.
Proby dog says. Just live each day in front of you, that's it nothing more nothing less.
Oh yeah n buy 5 Big Red Dogs n name them all Rudy.
 

Yesterdays Farrier Competition Update.

Smoke n Johnny (horses) got home after dark.

Henry n the other farriers had a good time.

Smokey stood for 4 hours, shoes on, shoes off, shoes on, shoes off.

Who's a good boy.

My brain is a little tricky today, so we're not gonna go in there.
Some days it's best not to share.

*********************************************

flu shot
After what I've gone through since Christmas, I will be getting a flu shot next fall.
25 years ago I used to have trouble understanding what other guys my age were whining about.
Took me a couple more decades but now I get it.

Farrier comp
Kathy loaded up horses to take to MSU for the Farrier Competition.
For an Amish guy, old Henry sure does get around.
I go less places than he does. Then again, I go less places than a guy at Jackson State Penitentiary.

600 lotto
The Big Lotto is at 600 Million I hear.
People are all a Buzz about Power Ball.
The Horse Chiropractor who never plays, says she might take a $10 Lotto flyer. 
Got an opinion on that.
Sure, a few bucks on the Lotto, why not. That's just fun money, any more is poor judgement.
But even though I won't be buying any lottery tickets, I will play the what if game.
If I won 600 million, I'd buy 5 Big Red Dogs n name every one of them Rudy.

This Post was written under duress. 
So don't believe a word of it. 

Just saw 6 or 8 deer in the backyard. 
Our Horse trails seem to serve as a No Hunting Deer Sanctuary in winter.
The young deer seem to be regrouping after hunting season. 
I don't allow hunting out back, not because I'm necessarily against hunting, I just don't like outsiders traipsing around on my land. 
In short, I don't dislike hunters, I dislike people.

JOKING?????? 

Truth is, The Dogs said "NO Hunters". 
They were adamant on the subject.  They have there reasons.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

"When the highway goes through" #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

Pez Outlaw

In my youth my entire family seemed to be struck by a phenomenon called "When the highway goes through".Kinda odd now that I think about it because the highway went through when I was in grade school.
More accurately it shoulda been when the road goes through.

At the heart of it was, when the road went through how the city would buy up a bunch of land/property n dreams would come true.
For over a decade everyone in my family pinned high hopes on this one big event.
In the end I believe only brother Lloyd actually sold 2 properties to the city.

Sometimes in life we pin to much hope on one life changing event to pull our fat outa the fire.
Never a good idea, but outa desperation we fall into the trap.
Probably one of the worst forms of setting ourselves up for disappointment.

I believe that I've fallen under the same spell n now must prepare myself for the worst.
Yesterday was a really tough day, for the first time in this journey it started dawning on me that this may not be happening.
I know, talk about an optimist in that yesterday was the first time I thought I might fail.

The option on my life rights runs out sometime before March 1, 2017.
Meaning if I'm gonna get news it will happen in the next 20 day or not at all.
A very bad omen has started, in old parlance my calls are no longer being returned.

I fear that I must start preparing myself for a failure.
I think that maybe the highway will not be going through.
That said I want to thank the parties concerned for there interest in my story.

In the eventuality that there is no Pez Outlaw Movie I only have the most vague of ideas on how I might proceed.
I believe that I will just continue work here in Notes From The Asylum.

For the past 2yrs the Asylum has helped me let go of Pez Outlaw Diary.
Maybe 15yrs of mourning for my old life was enough.
Notes From The Asylum might be the new chapter in my life.

Possibly it's now time to let Pez Outlaw Diary go.
I accept full responsibility for this failure, no one else can or should be blamed. 

The above statement will be all I have to say about this, I just felt I owed you this much.
I will not respond to inquiries about this any further. 

EPIC FAIL!

Don't let the title fool you, before I'm done you'll see that this is actually a very positive post.
Recently I mentioned that I fear the Pez Outlaw project has failed.
Yes failure Sucks, but I gotta tell ya, I'm not afraid to fail.

Two reasons.
1. you never know where failure might lead you.
2. ratio of no's to the inevitable yes.

In the 1980s I was on a McDonald's quest.
I found out while on that quest that there is always a ratio of no's to the eventual yes.
I don't care if it's 100 no's for that one yes, it's out there waiting for you.
The only way that you don't get that yes is if you give up.

I also realized on that McDonald's quest that sometimes what you think you are doing is not at all where you are headed.
I thought I was hunting for McDonald's toys, what I found out was that I was actually collecting Happy Meal Boxes.
The end result was that Joshua n I took 2 van loads of Happy Meal Boxes to a McDonald's Convention n SOLD OUT in the first night.

What I'm trying to take from this is this.
For 15yrs I've been banging on about Pez Outlaw Diary, there is evidence to suggest that I was actually working my way to Notes From The Asylum. 
Once I'm sure Pez Outlaw Diary has failed I will illustrate the evidence of this.

Do not fear failure.
Embrace your failure n own it.
Most of all, learn from the failure n make sure that it didn't lead you to something better.

Quitting is not an option, if I did I'd never find my yes at roads end.
Notes From The Asylum is already a better product than Pez Outlaw Diary.
In creativity alone, I believe this to be true.

I'd like to point out a NEW thing in my character.
Now when I fail, 1st thing I do is accept 100% responsibility for the failure.
No more blaming others.

That said Pez Outlaw Diary stays as it is, a raw primal scream from a past life.

When the highway goes through, we'll all be rich n beautiful, not a care in the world.

The Truth, Another's perception

Eternity, a moment in time
Light or Darkness

Choose the dream
Scorn the reality

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt

 

Pez Outlaw Diary

2 Crazy 4 Hollywood, Pez Outlaw. #pezoutlaw

Pez Outlaw, Working On The Edge Of Legal

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

A part of me wants to give voice to the belief that working the edges of legal is the only way left for poor n lower middle class to succeed.

The game just seems so rigged in favor of the rich n if you do succeed, don't become to successful because then you become a target.

I watched many who were cautious in there methods that maintained a low profile pass unscathed.

I threw caution to the wind n was in your face with my methods n public profile.

My approach was all or nothing, I became crazy successful n a huge target.

Unfortunately I have no concept of moderation.

You really have to lay it all on the line for your shot at a big win. Cautious n reserved won't cut it. Risk it all or hide out in the masses. You must be willing to bare yourself naked n be judged. To late to have second thoughts, so here we go.

I've been here before, you don't rest on maybe, you double down. We got here because of my work, my character Pez Outlaw created n lived by me. I have to believe in Pez Outlaw or how can I expect you to.

When I started my journey I had no idea what I was actually doing. At that moment in 1998 it was just a primal scream. Truth be told that lasted a decade.

Very slowly though what I've been doing now for the past 20yrs revealed itself to me. After losing 4.5 million dollars n a lifetimes work because I decided to trust Pez Corporation, I realized that the only thing that I had left to sell was The Pez Outlaw Story.

My goal for the last 15yrs has been to sell my story to Hollywood as a major motion picture then as a book. Through the years I created Pez Outlaw Diary & Pez Outlaw, "Notes From The Asylum". These 2 blogs n The Cereal Box Price Guide have a combined 2 million views. Notes From The Asylum accounts for 1.3 million of those views alone, which is pretty good when you realize that it's the youngest of the 3 at 5yrs old.

10yrs ago I thought that my dream had been achieved, an Oscar winning movie producer optioned the story for Warner Brothers. A long form story about Pez Outlaw was written for Playboy Magazine by Jeff Maysh using Pez Outlaw Diary as its source material along with taped interviews.

I thought that I'd arrived, then 2yrs pass n I in so many words was informed that "Pez Outlaw 2 Crazy 4 Hollywood". Devastated n at my lowest point since the 1998 betrayal by Pez Corporation that cost me 4.5 million dollars of work, I picked myself up n went back to work.

2yrs ago I picked up the pace agreeing to go to my 1st convention in 20yrs. I did interviews n presented my story in a public forum. 1yr later at a financial crunch I was offered a very bad deal as a lifeline. Penniless I turned the offer down because it just did not fit my vision for Pez Outlaw. The offer felt to much like a vulture picking the bones of Pez Outlaws dead body.

Over that next year I had 4 different offers by documentary film makers to do the Pez Outlaw story. I'm not allowed to comment at this moment further on that.

Now my old "friends" from Hollywood are back n i find that I just don't know how I feel about it? 

For over a decade I felt that the Book would be best written by a ghost writer, I think that I've changed my mind on that. When Jeff Maysh wrote the Pez Outlaw story for Playboy he somehow figures that he owns my story. That's absurd on its face. The story was based on taped interviews with me, so by its nature "My Words". Then I was told to leave Pez Outlaw Diary up so it could be sourced for material? 

This experience left a bad taste in my mouth toward another writer writing my story. I now feel that between Pez Outlaw Diary & Pez Outlaw, "Notes From The Asylum" I have already written the Pez Outlaw Book. I feel that a really good in house editor at a good publishing house will/would find more than enough material for a book.

One final note on the above. All words taped about Pez Outlaw are actually quotes by me of my work in Pez Outlaw Diary & Pez Outlaw, "Notes From The Asylum", The only source by me or anyone else of the Pez Outlaw Story.

Keeping with the title of this post I also think that it might be to soon to sign our lives away to Hollywood. Unless the offer is really a good one. I feel a year from now we will get at least 3 more good offers.

Whatever offer from Hollywood is finally signed by me will require that both Pez Outlaw Diary & Pez Outlaw, "Notes From The Asylum" receive onscreen credit as "this Story is based on". I will not allow my work to go unrecognized but used extensively a second time.

Sometimes you have to say no n wait for your vision.

Poverty should not force you to accept less than your dreams.

I'd rather die with hope than settle for ...............?

Most of the hard work is done now, my children n grandchildren can/could handle it from here.

I view life as an illusion, so why not make it what you want.

You have a choice, be the star of your illusion or a player in someone else's.

I wonder if somebody with a 3D plastic printer could make the Pez Outlaw head pictured below so we could put them on modern/todays pez sticks?

A recurring thought today is how so many peoples minds are so easily swayed by others.

I've never been a person who is easily told how or what to think.

As a matter of fact somebody tries that on me n I usually take the opposite position with a passion.

I hate to admit it but mostly for the fun of it.

I just don't understand it when someone is so easily swayed or manipulated.

I know who I am n I know what I think.

I feel no need to have my thoughts validated by others or the need to try n change anothers mind to my way of thinking.

If I yield in conversation, please don't confuse it with agreement. I'm just being polite n allowing you to have your thoughts. Bless Your Heart.

Kathryn Ann told me to be nice to people.

Pez Outlaw, The Impossible, Why Not? #pezoutlaw

I Wish that I was as handsome as this guy.

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

Yesterday for whatever reason Kathy looked at me n said How are we gonna handle all this.

Kathy seemed to be having a dawn or revelation of the impact of a coming storm.

I have not seen a unicorn yet but I expect to in the next few days. Don't ask me why but I believe that this is gonna happen. Maybe it's because daily I deal with the thought that I've got roughly 2 decades left, then none of it matters anyway. So I flip that n say, Why Not.

Which also was part of my answer on how we handle what I believe is coming. Why not, because life should be about the impossible becoming reality.

Plus this whole thing has been packaged into an entity. That entity is no longer me, it's a character that I have been in charge of writing his history for a decade now. So Why Not.

This would be naive of me if I hadn't already been down this road once before. I've already made the mistakes that the coming storm will bring. To that point. During the last decade as I have prepared Pez Outlaw I have gotten my feet firmly replanted on the ground as to what's important n what is not. I had no choice, poverty is a strict teacher. I've also instituted protocols to handle any outside noise or distraction.

Last time I was in the middle of the storm like Billy Dog running round n round. This time by the very nature of what I've constructed I will be outside looking in.

That's the plan anyway.

One final note. To my core I understand what is real n what are things other people enjoy or think cool. Others thought the story in Playboy was my dream come true. NO, not even in the ballpark. The story in Playboy was a means to an end. I had no feeling about it at all. You know good for Jeff, hats off n all that but in my life my reality, no. Think about it, how shallow n meaningless would my life be if a story in Playboy made my life worth living. No!

I Still owe the bank a bit over $150,000.00 from the Pez Outlaw years, that debt must be paid. That matters. Making some overdue changes here on the farm, that matters, that's important. Making it so Kathy does not have to work so hard, THAT MATTERS!

Best stop before I say more than I should or am allowed.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Do Not Waste Good. Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw

 AKA, Do Not Waste Good.

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

As you may know the production company we have been working with for 3yrs did not renew there option. This sounds worse than it really is, they have never renewed on time,

I have 100% confidence in the Pez Outlaw Story. It is the story of our time & our lives. This is not from arrogance. Sometimes inlife you just know. This has happened before in my life, I see something & I just know with every fiber of my being.

This will happen, the only question is when.

Forgive me but I feel to not see it is just a lack of vision. to me, this is that unique story people have been waiting for. It tells there story, there dreams & the life we wish to live.

I know it's easier to make 4 & 5 movies of the same formula because you feel safer. This is New & different. It's our story.

Now I'm gonna speak outa turn. I feel that Hollywood is to hung up on the perfect actor or director. The story is the strength of this endevor. There are a lot of directors & actors that could easily bring this project home.

When you have a story this unique & good, Let it carry the project.

Again. my confidence is not arrogance. It comes from faith.

Don't take my word alone for it.

Pez Outlaw, Not The Hill I Want To Die On #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

I've always felt driven to find my voice.
Through that voice possibly who I am.
Somehow Find the answers that have eluded me.

In my life I've ricochet from one thing to another.
One dream persisted, a book.
Funny idea for a guy who never read a whole book till he was 30.

Some kind of dyslectic? A.D.D. ?
I don't know, just couldn't focus long enough to finish a paragraph.
I mean I could read a page but at the end I had no Idea what I'd read.
My mind just could not settle down enough to read it n retain it.

It took years of tedious work building bridges, connections from one side of my brain to the other side.

The change came in the 1990s when I was in my 40s.
The Pez trips gave me a sense of peace.
I read 2 to 3 books per trip.

With the crush that followed the collapse of my Pez World,
I found my voice in the pain n depression.
I began writing Pez Outlaw Diary as therapy.
I understand that as a book it's messed up. 
That might be because it's raw emotion n the struggle again to find my voice.
I've always felt that a good editor could sort out Pez Outlaw Diary for publication.

I needed Pez Outlaw Diary to clear my head. 
Writing Pez Outlaw Diary gave me the confidence I needed to move on
Walking away from Pez Outlaw Diary was only possible by creating Notes from the Asylum.
I needed to continue sorting things out in a new setting. 

Notes From The Asylum leaves the pain of Pez Outlaw Diary behind, But continues the search for who I truly am.
I've been an Alcoholic, a Drug abuser, an obsessive collector, a farmer, a shop worker n a very angry person.
Most people fear a statement like that one, for me it is what it is.
I'm evolving, what's behind me is my past, required steps in the journey.
Each day is it's own, a new chance to do better.

In Notes from the Asylum I try to understand what was under all of it.
Was it all a part of my quest to find my voice?
Obviously everything led me to here.

A Pez Outlaw Book will probably happen in the next 2 years.
I'm starting to understand though that Pez Outlaw is not the voice I've been searching for.
Pez Outlaw is his own voice, the voice of a decade of my life.
The Pez Outlaw book is a required step on my journey.
Notes from The Asylum is the voice of my entire life.
I'm beginning to believe Notes From The Asylum is the voice I've been searching a lifetime for.

My secret ambition has always been to leave a book behind when my time is up.
Now it's to leave at least 2 books behind, Pez Outlaw by Jeff n myself.
Plus Notes from The Asylum.
The odds improve every day that both might happen.

I believe that the irony would be clear.
A guy that had a hard time reading n understanding a book for half his life wrote 2 books.

I'm not interested in a quick fix.
I don't want anything that would invalidate my struggle. 
My goal is to complete my journey. 

RANT TV

A tall scantily clad leggy blonde...

Zombies in HOT pursuit...

Fur Bikini's n Bowie Knives...

Yup, I guess I still have a pulse.

Impolitic, but we still run the movie in our mind.

Don't let your child play with guns, he'll just go bang bang with a stick.

Subjugate masculinity n shackle reality, men will still fantasize.

10 years from now, women will again be saying, where have all the real men gone.

We live in a brand new PC culture, so.

No Sex, No Zombies, but lots n lots of guns.

Guns for Peace.

Pez Outlaw International Arms Dealer.

Do you actually exist in this reality if you don't PISS a few people of each day.

Hell, I just have to open my mouth n real soon somebodies pissed.

I think it's the law of the inevitable.

To be generous, I am tolerated by those that love me.

Being a white male has not been an advantage for over half a century, that one gets real old.

Thank god I'm a MUTT/Mongrel, so ok on the white part but not so much on the male thing.

Masculinity's  been under attack 50 years now, every so often I get a little wound up about it.

68yrs old now. so I soon forget all about it.

That's it for us here at RANT TV, see you next time.

Till then Huggs n Kisses, I Love You.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Pez Outlaw, Insanity is Only Perspective #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

by Edvard Munch

I'm not a big fan of Reality.I prefer the world in my head.
Each day the real world demands my presence, it always depresses me.

The difference between Crazy n Insane is Only Perspective.
This was made very clear to me yesterday.
My guess is that you've never gotten "The Look".

Yesterday while showing Kathy some things that I thought Quite Clever, I got the look.
Followed by "even Josh asked if everything is alright".
Then told, "you get to involved in an idea n following it, you need to step back'.

In short Kathy was saying, you've gone down the rabbit hole again.
Your search within is eluding people who see it.
Sometimes I get so involve with the creation of something that I can't see what I've created, objectively.

That's the rough part of the line between crazy n insane.
You think what your doing is genius,  Then you get that look.
N the terrible part is you can't see it.

That's why I bring up insane.
Being crazy is a delicate dance on the line between sanity n insanity.
You never notice when you cross that line.

It's all perspective.
I love the twisty digging deep of mental creation.
But I'm to close, I can't see what you are viewing.

Nor do I see what you bring to that viewing as your perspective on my work.
For that matter, I also don't see the obvious insights that some of my creations give you about where my head is at, at the moment.
It's right there obvious as hell, but I'm to busy working on the details to notice.

So I get the look.
Trust me, I don't enjoy getting it.
I thought I was doing great.

The difference between insane n genius is also a fine line.
You are a genius when people accept n understand your thoughts as fresh n unique.
You are insane when those same people do not understand your thoughts n reject them as outside the norm.

Truthfully, none of this really bothers me.
Then again an insane person thinks he's a genius.
In the end we are all judged by our peers.

My good fortune is that since age 19 (47yrs now) I've had Kathy to help me navigate the line between crazy n insane.
She says, step back, you need to filter your thoughts more, I do it.
I enjoy what I do here, it helps me deal with a lot of things, but?

This all came up I believe because of the 2 following posts.

• Commie Pinko #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw
• Living in The Reaper's Shadow #pezoutlaw #hollywoo...

I'm going to share an image that I thought was really clever, but is precisely when I got the sternest look of disapproval I've ever gotten and "The Talk".

Yesterday n even today I can't see the problem, though I don't doubt that there is one.
So why share it? I think because it illustrate better than words what I'm talking about in this post.
I'm sure a year from now I'll be able to see what's wrong with the image, but right now all I see is the cleverness of the creation.

I said last night to Kathy, "maybe it does show where my head is at right now".
Kathy, in shocked expression. "YA THINK!
Nope, I missed it completely.

I bet you a dollar I get scolded again for sharing that image with you.
Then again, The title of this blog is Notes From The Asylum.
So you know................. 

In my defense.
I wonder what Edvard Munch, Edgar Allan Poe, Rod Serling or Stephen King's relatives n loved ones thought of there work.
Did they get the look n "The Talk"? 

Granted, My work is like stick figures to actual Art.
Then again my work is modernistic/minimalist. 
I take what's around me n re-purpose it to express a thought.

I  can see the obvious once it's pointed out, but still try to make the case that it was not my point.

The bigger question.
Why do you do this, write these posts n share these things.
"Normal" people/thought would be, to personal, better to hide this side of yourself.
I don't know, I'm compelled, something inside me say that I should, that writing precisely these things is the right thing to do.

I believe that you instinctively are driven to do things that are where you need to go or what you must do n I trust these instincts.
Instinct was what drove me to become n execute the Pez Outlaw years, because of that when driven to do something, I do not fight it.

That n to be honest.
Posts in the Asylum that do best are when I dig deep.
With this provision.
The best posts are dig deep, but obscure the true meaning.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary