Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime, Peacock, Sling & Pluto. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.
I wanna tell you a story 1st.
Years ago when Billie Dog was young our sewer line froze. I removed the cover to the 6inch pipe. The sewer gushed out like a fire hose covering me head to toe. Such is life. I would happily step in front of that again any day for Kathy. My resolve is 100%.
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| RED |
Talking to Animals
There is a horse on the farm that was scared of me/men when she came here.
It's taken 3 years but the other day when she saw me she came running full speed to me.
All I did was give her room, respect her space n provide a steady reliable routine.
With horses and dogs I've had to undo a lot of damage by ignorant previous "owners".
It can take years to undo. Sometimes all you can do is lessen the damage.
One of the ways I do this is by talking to the animals.
A lady was working with Johnny Cash (horse) I asked her how it went.
They were having issues.
This happens over n over with lots of horses.
It sounds simplistic but I always ask, are you talking to him.
I feel it's important to have a relationship with a horse before you ever try to ride it.
If a horse likes or loves you, they will give you the benefit of the doubt.
No relationship, they'd just as soon put you on the ground.
That's not to say that a group of horses can't be trained n made to understand that there job is to give strangers rides. But then again they are doing that out of respect for there trainer "Kathy" that has asked them to do that. In that case they are doing it because of the relationship that they have with her not the rider.
Another way I communicate with animals is by example.
I present as calm n strong a presence as I can.
It does not hurt that I also feed them.
To the horses I'm steady Eddy.
Every day roughly same times, I'm there with food.
I ask nothing, I just feed them. Trust me they notice.
With my dogs.
I eat, then they always get a good portion of whatever or whenever I eat.
Exactly the same way it would be in there world in the wild.
Dogs understand this, the leader of the pack always eats first, then he shares.
One quick note on rescue dogs.
I have one trick I use from day one.
I rename the dog the day it arrives.
New name for a new life.
You might be surprised to learn Billy Dogs original name was Lilly.
Lilly was the dog tied with a rope to a tree in zero degree temps.
When Billy arrived she asked me if she could have a better life, I told her she was home now.
Billy Dog is my Knuckle Head buddy.
Billy is the unstoppable dog, optimistic beyond reason.
Billy helped me get over the loss of Rudy.
I don't know what Pinkies name was.
Found him in the corner of a pasture at a young age freezing n burns all over his back.
Pinky asked me to please take him in, I told him all that was over, he was home now.
Being an Albino Doberman I gave him as playful a name as I could think of.
His trauma was very deep, years n years of talking to help him find a place he can live with in his mind.
Once a dog picks me I have no choice, I must agree to give them all I can.
I give them my strength to lean on n they give me there's.
I love Dogs n Horses, they are my friends.
In most cases I like Dogs more than I like humans.
Walking Quietly With Horse's
Now you gone n done it Cowboy (mom's horse).
Yesterday, not 1 minute before Kathy was to take Cowboy from pasture to stall for the night, Boy decided to play his guitar by plunking the fence. Boy cut his foot Dr. Katy bad and will be in his box stall for a week, then indoor outdoor stall for 3 more weeks.
I mean shit Boy. Boy is the heart of everything we do n this could get serious. My emotions are a bit raw as to the possible. I told Kathy that we will pray for him n I did last night.
On an aftershock of this whole mess, Laurie Svendsen we need to talk about Marnie Marie. Boy will be in isolation for a month and Marnie Marie may not like this whole situation. Do we turn her out alone? My thought is that we let one of Honey Bee's boys stand in for Boy in his absence. Personally I think Buddy would be a good choice to keep Marnie company while Boy gets better.
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| last summer's wildflower test plot. next year 3 more plots. |
Every so often we all just need to pause, take a moment n a breath.
I refuse to be changed by things I can not control.
What I can control is how I view the world and how I choose to walk through it.
My chore day with the horses usually starts at 2pm when Billy dog just can't take it anymore.
So we suit up, cold and mudd gear, out we go.
The very first thing I always see is (horses) Roby, Bow, Cowboy and Marni Marrie bitching me out.
Basically saying, Where you been Dude we want our sweet cake.
Off I go to the warehouse where the hay is stored. It takes 9 bales minimum per day to feed this bunch. I load the tractor n over again to the old barn.
Paco is still running things in his pen but I've noticed Johnny is a bit less intimidated.
The Old Man will never challenge Paco, it just isn't in his nature.
I think when Red moves in that things will settle down.
It's a numbers game Red will most likely ally with Johnny n the Old Man.
At that point I think Paco will be a little more live n let live about things.
Cowboys pen is fine, He's got two female horses.
Of all the horses Cowboy gives me the hardest time.
The mouth on that boy would make you shrink.
That said the 3 best horses on the farm are Cowboy, Johnny, and Red.
All 3 have purest souls of any horses I've ever met.
They are friendly, open. Zero damage/no baggage.
Bow n Robby are getting on OK.
Bow pushes at Robby some but Robby is a pretty big guy, that's not gonna last long.
Then we get to Aunt B.
Aunt B/Honey B moved in with old Busta when we had to annul her marriage to Bow.
Man that was a toxic relationship. Honey tends to bring the harsh out in bow.
Poor ole Honey just can't seem to get old Buster going.
Buster is a big red horse, with a pretty laid back personality.
Honey B picks her men, they really don't have any say in the matter.
B latches on to the male horse she likes in the pen and shooo's any female competition away.
Like it or not Busta is married now. Actually true to his nature, I just don't think he gives a damn.
If you've checked out the Barrel Book you will know that I make all my own mangers out of 55 gallon plastic barrels and hay bags.
They're actually quite cool. Lately though Honey B has a new game called tip the feeder over.
I get it, then she can get at the hay without having to fight the haybag.
So yesterday I cut a 4 inch hole in the base of the one she was tipping over. I added a bucket of 2 inch stones to what was already there.
True to her nature B tipped over the other manger. Nice! Guess you know what I'll be doing this afternoon.
I walk between two worlds. Pez Outlaws world and the simple life I live here on the farm.
I just didn't want to talk about all that other stuff today.Wanted to keep it simple.
Free Horses n Dogs #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw
I sometimes think that if we aren't careful we are gonna go bankrupt from Free Horses n Dogs.
There seems to be no end to the number of good Horses n Dogs that need a home.
Three of my Dogs are Free Dogs, translation Dog's that needed a home.
Meaning over half the Dogs that live here were "rescues".
Technically 1/2 the horses 9 out of 18 that live here are also "rescues".
I say technically because Johnny Cash is owned by Clinton County Handicapped Riding.
We feed n take care of Johnny for them.
The other 8 horses were given to us to give them a good home.
The Old Man, Cowboy, Duncan, Wendy, Paco, Honey B, Red and Tricky.
The last thing in the world we ever need to do is pay money for a Horse.
Red is the latest "free" Horse. He needs medical care (eye issue) but I believe that he's a really good horse.
Cowboy n Duncan were #14 and #15 on a horse pile fighting over not much food.
When we got them they needed groceries STAT.
Cowboy n Dunky are awesome looking Horses now.
Free Horses usually have an issue you need to fix but 3 (cowboy, red n johnny) of the purest soul horses I've ever met came from our willingness to accept "FREE Horses".
One guy deserved his Gold Watch, the Old Man. He's 35 years old.
It enriches your soul to pay the debt owed a horse for a lifetime of work.
The next "free Horse" is supposed to arrive the day after Christmas.
Man I just don't know? I think the Inn might be full.
The latest way that they show up is a request for temporary board that turns into a plea to take the hose.
So NO, we do not buy horse's anymore. There are just way to many good horse's pleading for a good home.
Four of the animals that live here asked me personally if they could live here, two dogs Pinky n Billy and 2 horses Johnny n Red. I just can't find it in my heart to say no when they ask.
What are you gonna do? We figure out a way to make it work.
People lie, animals don't. On that note Billy Dog says it's chore time.
Free Horse Update
I'm just recovered from my Holiday present, The Flu.
For Five days my body rejected any thought of normalcy.
This left me dull witted n gloomy.
The horses n dogs as always are my salvation.
There world keeps turning, so familiarity of purpose takes over.
Sometimes I wonder but there example provides clarity.
For a few days the headcount of horses reached 19.
That was due to the arrival of Jimmy, Red n Tenny.
More free horses than 1 feller knows what to do with.
So we shared the wealth.
Kathy contacted Rachel.
Rachel found a good home for Wendy.
Ahhh! Back to 18.
New problem, Marni Marrie comes in at night n that means Smokey/cowboy would be alone at night.
Red needs a pen? Hmmm.
You see organizing pen-mates is not a haphazard thing.
A lot of thought about personalities goes into it.
These decisions are above my pay grade.
Example.
Red is an open friendly boy, put him in the wrong pen n that innocents could be damaged.
Cowboy said he'd be fine coming in at night.
Hey, what do I know. Maybe Cowboys right.
Sick, rain, snow or cold chores must be done.
The fact that the horses count on me, keeps me going even when my mind has doubts.
I hope they follow through n actually do make the Pez Outlaw movie.
This year (2016) will most likely tell the tale, otherwise it'll cost them another $5,000.
Realistically though I'm not sure how much it will affect me if they do.
I play with the idea for fun.
Though it seems like I've been waiting a lifetime for Pez Outlaw to finish his adventure.
The randomness is intended.
I try not to reread what I write.
I want the thought to stay in it's moment.
One thing is most definitely true.
I do not live up to the hopes n expectations of Billy Dog.
Billy Dog has crazy BIG Dreams n Hopes.
On Behalf of Ground Pounders
I'm a ground pounder, I do not ride horses.
I feed, water and deal with horse poop.
Currently that number of horses is 17.
Of that 17 only 6 are Kathy's, the rest just stay with us.
I treat all 17 like they are my baby's.
Who we are to each other has nothing to do with who there Mom is.
I don't know the first thing about riding a horse.
You lose me when you start putting gear on them so you can ride.
When I did ride, I rode bareback using a single lead rope attached to the halter.
Believe it or not I was a pretty good rider, but not remotely by any conventional standards.
I could wander around under my horse, do the running jump mount from behind, stand on my horse, jump ditches whatever.
Within my weird parameters I could train a horse pretty good, but I did not start understanding or talking to horses until I became a ground pounder.
I divide horse life into 2 categories and one can have nothing to do with the other.
Pasture life - how a horse behaves and interacts with other horses in the pasture.
A full n rich pasture life is essential to the well being of a horse mentally.
Although attention must be paid to personalities that click best when forming each pastures community. We had to split up Bow n Honey, they had a toxic relationship for bow and to the rest of the Wild Bunch. Honey now lives with Busta. Busta is a surfer dude, she just can't rattle him. Basically he ignores her. Honey is not mean, she is though very strong willed.
Arena life - how a horse interacts with a human when it's time to work.
Peta - We humans bust ass caring for horses, so to expect that they work in exchange is not wrong, It's fare trade. Or in simpler terms, Shut your ignorant asses up. You really don't know shit from shinola.
Honey Bee. Honey is a real force of nature in pasture life. She can be a Bitch on Wheels. BUT, you put a halter on Honey n cross out of pasture life n she is the most dependable horse you will ever meet. The strength n confidence of her pasture life carries over into arena life but only in positive ways. Honey understands the difference and what her job is.
Cowboy/Smokey Boy, Johnny, Bow and this new guy Red are hoses with the most pure gentle souls you will ever meet. These horses are very rare. I have 4 of them out of the 17 that currently reside here.
Some horses are Angry, some are scared, then some are confused.
All of these conditions come from humans who previously interacted with them.
My job as a ground pounder is to be that steady human in there life that talks to them, feeds them and becomes someone that they understand.
The horse I'm proudest of at the moment is Roz. Roz came here confused n scared. It has taken 3 years of steady Eddy to turn her around. Now Roz comes full tilt if I call her n she yells at me if I'm running late. Roz kinda has a lot to say nowadays. Roz went from scared n spooky to a chatter box, only took 3 years.
So far I've had 2 horses that were here for one reason or another ask me. Can I stay here, I don't want to leave. Johnny n Red. I can't say no when they ask.
It's like when I met Pinky n Billy Dog, both asked very clearly if they could put there previous life behind them and live here. My answer will always be yes, but you must do your job. The ones that pointedly ask Horse or Dog are more than happy to do there job.
Yes I talk to Animals, but that's only possible because I listen.
Dogs and Horses can learn to understand you, I'm just saying rarely do humans make an effort to understand them.
No trick, you just have to listen.
The eyes and how they handle there head tell you a lot. Also micro expressions.
You have to listen with your eyes as well as your ears.
A lot is instinct. You see it n you just know.
With Cowboy/Smokey Boy, Johnny, Bow, n the new guy Red, there eyes are rich dark pools of nothing but gentle love. All will place there muzzle in your hands with peace, no jerks or fear. Just trust. Very rare, you have to be a real idiot not to be able to work with that.
You might not know which horses I'm talking about were you ever to come here, because I have my own names for over half the horse's.
examples; Paco, Boy, Big Guy, Dub, Johnny, Old Man, Roz, B, Wheezer.
The Old Mans Eulogy
R.I.P.
1980-2017
37yrs.
The Old Man passed yesterday.
With his passing I felt my own mortality.
I never knew the Old Man except when he was older.
I believe he spent his last decade with us.
The reason Kathy took him in when he was no longer ride-able is that she'd seen to many sad stories of good horses tossed aside after there useful life ends.
The Old Man was given his Gold Watch n a good decade of ease.
The goofy bugger knew he didn't have to do another thing, except what he wanted to.
Every day at 5pm he'd start bugging me to let him into his stall for his grandpa food.
(2 scoops of senior n 1 scoop of strategy.)
The old man walked his own path, no longer involving himself in the foolishness of the young horses.
Funny thing is I find myself emulating that very same choice.
None of the other horses messed with me as much as the Old Man.
The guy talked my ear off, n was a hay flinger (he'd grab a flake of hay from the bucket of the tractor n just toss it, making me have to go pick it up).
The Old Man also looked for every opportunity to sneak out the gate for yard grass.
Hay flinging or escaping I never got pissed, it was always for C.... Sakes Old Man or just simply "Dude Really".
The Old Man raised many children in his 37yrs, I was always hearing stories.
I rode him when I was 3.
He lived down the road when I was a child.
One of his children Alex, came back to him in his last year n groomed him n walked him.
Alex spent his final moments with him.
It's tearing my heart to write this.
When our friends pass it reminds us.
The Old Man was my friend n I will miss him.
R.I.P. Khan.
I laid him to rest yesterday, now we pick his tree.
Farm Update.
10ee (horse) grabbed The Old Mans Gold Watch before it even hit the ground.
It's a good gig n he's no fool.
9/24/18
Today another gentle soul moved on.
Tenny was one of the kindest horses I've ever known.
I want to thank my oldest friend Larry Blizzard for coming over and helping lay him to rest.
Rest In Peace Tenny, you will be missed.
just got above pic of tenney from Kathy.
pic is tenney sharing time with a friend Bette.
see the look on Bette's face, she's beaming.
Tenney had that effect on his friends.
Like Dr. Katie said as she eulogized Tenney.
Tenney was never mean to anybody.
I was surprised to realize that we are down to 11 horses.
It might be time we allowed a few new horse friends on the farm.
For more see
Carpe Diem, Judas #pezoutlaw #hollywood
The Way Home #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA
On Behalf of Ground Pounders #horse #pezoutlaw #ho...
Walking Quietly With Horse's #pezoutlaw #hollywood...
Free Horses n Dogs #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutla...
Talking to Animals #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutla...
My dream is was that dk made the Pez Outlaw movie n jeff maysh ghost wrote the book so we could operate as an animal rescue n not go bankrupt doin it.
We're gonna keep doin what we can, just woulda been nice to break even.
ea horse $2.00 worth hay per day, 18 horses x 365 = $13,140.00 per yr for just hay.
The movie n book woulda been nice.
It's a sin in life if you don't do something about a thing once you are aware of it.
Oh yeah n another "FREE" (meaning nobody else will take him) horse is on his way to the farm as we speak.
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Since we began here at Notes From The Asylum I've had occasion to write a few posts about Dogs n Horses.
From that information you most likely know that we have 18 horses n 4.25 dogs living on the farm at the moment.
Puddy/Tootsie baby Dachshund is the .25, she's very small.
I suppose by that math Tricksie should be counted as .33 of a horse.
Anyway, the point being lots of animals live here n everything depends on relationships.
Knowing the animals or better yet understanding them.
I've told you that I'm a ground pounder, meaning I no longer ride, not for 25 years.
My job is to take care of the horses, Feed them, Water them, clean up there poo.
I also maintain there fences, feeders n living quarters.
I do not train horses, but for the work that I do for them of which they are keenly aware.
I expect consideration, if in a situation that could go either way, I expect that the horses give that little bit to me out of appreciation.
To be honest if as horse does not, they are gone.
I'm happy to say that we have a very good group of horses here now, all the problem children are gone.
Here's the thing.
My babies see me working for things they want, a safe world to live in, food n water.
If a horse can't give me that little tilt that turns a potential disaster into a win for us both.
That's a horse I do not want to have around.
A horse that will not show a very small bit of consideration for my labor is a fool.
In the last few years I've come to recognize a very general form of communication from horses.
How they hold there head, ear position, how they shape there eyes, other micro expressions n body language.
No one thing but more an overall.
When combined with a situation you understand what a horse is saying.
Johnny being loaded to leave to a new potential home.
Very big soft eyes looking directly at me, resigned body language.
Johnny was asking to stay.
I told them immediately if it does not work out, bring him back, a week later Johnny returned.
Johnny struck the bargain, I will be a good horse n be friendly n considerate for your work.
Done deal John, you're home.
Red the horse. Red, Red, Red, Redneck.
Red bunged himself up good at his new home with someone we know.
It was not a good fit.
Red was sent here so his eye n leg could heal, she did not, not want him back.
Kathy said has he asked you yet.
Honey, that's all he's doing is asking, over n over n over.
Red struck the bargain, he said I see n appreciate what you do for me, I will be a good horse n be friendly n considerate.
Two Boys came to us a few years back Cowboy n Dub.
Both horses struck the deal happily, Boy n Dub had been #14 n #15 on a 15 horse pileup for food that was running low n out.
Good groceries n a few years n oh my gosh what beautiful boys they are.
Billy dog asked me if she was finally home when was still in the car that brought her here.
Yes Billy your home now.
Many of the horses that show up here have needs.
They need to heal, either from a physical injury or mental issues.
That care is a golden moment to find the inner horse, the good ones get it n a line of communication is opened during there recovery.
That intimate time of healing is where the bond n relationship can be formed.
Ole Roz took 3 years with a mental issue, but now she is my sweet baby.
I found by respecting Roz's boundary issues that she in turn gave me respect for recognizing her needs.
The other day Roz put her head in the doorway gently next to my shoulder.
Trust is a very big thing, my movement n behavior could be trusted.
I've noticed something else with a type of horse I like beyond a horse that is willing to strike a mutual bargain.
There are horses that have child like innocence, a purity of n open souls.
You can tell by the way they carry themselves n by what they think is fun.
Some horses are playful open n honest.
Cowboy will just follow Kathy around, he genuinely likes her.
Cowboy, Red n Jimmy are the best examples of this.
Damage a horse like this n you will go to hell.
Then you got the Old Man 36 = 108 in human years.
The Old Man is the biggest chatterbox on the farm, that guy has somethin to say about most everything.
Remind you of anybody.
I expect when crazy is happening that my dogs n horses behave.
Which brings us to the topic of today.
The neighbors 3 horses got out 3 times yesterday.
The first time I only heard about.
The 4pm one I had to catch them.
The 8pm one I had to catch them.
4pm. saw neighbors 3 horses just gettin it down the road toward my place while watering.
put the hose down n started calling, come on babies I got ya.
With horses you want create a situation where the horse has 2 choices n one of them is one that they kinda want anyway, then move them toward the good choice.
Tried grain, you make noise in a bucket n most horses are like Pavlov's Dog to the sound.
No Go.
OK, got 2 flakes second cutting laid it in driveway midway up n worked my way behind them.
Lots of foolin round 10 minutes later got my hands on who by then saw was there leader.
Headed towards new barn/arena yellin Susan's name.
Got barn open took the big guy to stall #6.
Oh crap forgot to close barn door, other 2 headed back out.
10 minutes later recaptured them, closed the door this time.
Gave them each 2 flakes 1st cutting, best cause don't know what they're used to n a fresh bucket of water.
My part done, Susan drove down to tell the guy we had his horses.
Guy had been in yard cuttin wood, Horses just ran behind him sayin see ya.
Guy gets here, told him we're good.
Just did what Kathy would've expected.
I'll get my atta boy from her when she gets home.
Problem woulda been if I'd done less, then in Kathy's eyes I would have been found wanting.
So I'm good, just went from done early to done late, I'll get over it.
8pm.
Car pulls in, dogs go nuts, very nice lady at the door.
Hey steve, just almost hit 3 horses in the road, they yours.
Nope, guy down the roads.
I'm tired, remember I'm almost 65, see how smooth I play that card.
The problem is I actually have no choice, you see each night by 7pmish I tuck all my horses in for the night, one by one.
So all was good at 7:15pm, but horse running by can ryle everybody up so at the very least I gotta go out n retuck them all in.
I get out doin that n I see west of me cars in the road stopped headlights on horses in the road.
Well shit, somebody or an animal is just gonna get hurt.
Down the road I go talking to the horses, Hey Babies I got ya.
This time Big Boy comes right to me so a parade of me horses n cars starts down the dirt road in the dark lit by headlights.
A car comes from the other direction, it's a Nichols one of Lyle's boys.
Hey could you do me a favor, drive down n tell him I got his horse's, you know, again.
Good kid actual man, he did.
guy shows up midway between our houses, a bit of a walk for me.
Hey buddy long time no see.
Well least since about 6pm.
Hey Buddy you got stalls down there.
He says yah maybe I better put them in them.
Me, yah maybe a good idea.
See yah.
Thing is, horse's some say aren't real bright but if they figure something out they are gonna keep doin it.
Cowboy is sure as shit that if he walks slow enough he can walk through a fence n he's been almost right a few times..
Me I turn the fencer on n he gets a poke n thinks better of the idea.
My horses though if they get out stay pretty much here.
Why, because they like it here n there friends are here.
Plus we all made the deal.
I work for them n they give me the benefit of the doubt in tricky situations.
Otherwise they are gone.
There are to many animals here for us to not cooperate, so everything runs smooth.
Foolish animals create chaos n I personally have no time n can't afford ignorant animals.
I make an effort n expect the same.
I care deeply for all of my animals but I expect that they listen when I ask them for a favor.
Out of nowhere n totally unrelated.
One of the best TV lines I've heard in a long time.
On Better Call Saul.
From Chuck to his brother Jimmy.
Giving a law degree from the University of Samoa to Slippin Jimmy is like giving a monkey a machine gun.
Soul Crushingly good dialog.
Cowboy/Boy/Smokey
Roz n her 2 horse compadres got loose today.
Better than it sounds.
I had a choice when the first horse charged the gate, close the gate n god knows where that one ends up or run fast as I can n close the arena door.
I chose option B, meaning all 3 got out but damage limited to inside the arena.
As Sloan would say, the neighbors learned some new curse words.
Then the coolest thing happened, after calling Roz a few times, she led the other 2 back into there pasture.
That a horse comes when you call it is pretty good on it's own, add to that 3 years ago I couldn't get within 10 ft of Roz because it scared her to much.
Oh yeah n Roz let me pet her head in front of her moms yesterday.
So you know, crisis averted.
News alert.
Billy Dog ran for her life.
3 horses charging at you is more than her internship as a horse dog could take.
We'll get'm next time Billy.
I'm not sure it wasn't the better part of valor in the situation.
The rest of the story.
A while back Billy Dog got kicked in the side by a horse, it left a 2 inch hole.
Ripped her hide good.
So I think you can understand why Billy Dog is not real keen to take on 3 fast moving horses.
Here's the part that will surprise you.
Billy Dog wants with all her heart to be a herd manager.
Things stay where there supposed to n go where there supposed to.
That kick in Billies side gave her wisdom.
Harry Hoofdini #pezoutlaw #hollywood
I've told you several stories about Busta The Horse, but for those of you that are new to my work I'll recap.
Busta is an Arabian Horse with a very nice pedigree from Michigan State University.
In real life though Busta by nature is a loner and very country.
Let me explain.
Every horse leads two lives, pasture life and life under saddle.
Under saddle, Busta is a spectacular looking and moving horse, just beautiful to watch.
In Pasture life though, Busta is literally a shit kickin redneck.
Busta loves dirt as much as I do and is my partner in crime with my dirt projects.
I pile the dirt up and Busta loves to walk the tops and flatten it out.
As cute as all that is, that's not what today's story is about, it's just colorful backstory.
Today's story is about Busta the escape artist or Harry Hoofdini.
You ever seen those 2x4s that are clapped into place across doors to keep them closed against Hurricanes and Tornadoes.
Yup you guessed it, that's precisely the type of setup needed to keep Busta in a stall.
Busta usually doesn't slide a stall door open, nope Busta unlatches it then just takes the whole thing down.
You see Busta is a fiddler, he picks at a latch till it moves and that means unlatches.
That's why stalls he's used have a 2x4 bar that is placed across the door.
Recently though we've been experiencing an extended spring which means all stalls have been full and Busta has had to come in to whatever stall is available.
When Busta's 2 barred stalls are otherwise occupied you have to tie both sides of his sliding door with 1/2 inch rope.
Even the big draft type horse staying with us at the moment does not require 2 ropes, one is enough.
As elaborate as what I've written so far is, it was just the setup for today's Busta the horse story.
I've spent 3 months working on a horse we'll call Wild Child, training her to come into an indoor outdoor stall.
Three months ago I started giving her grain in her indoor outdoor stall, luring her in so that yesterday I could slide the door to her pasture close and finally catch her.
So yesterday I put her grain in the indoor outdoor stall then snuck all the way around the outside of the barn and by God it worked.
After 3 months of patience I caught Wild Child.
If you don't see the punch line coming a mile away you're making the same mistake I did.
For one glorious hour I reveled in the genius of my success.
As I said the weather has been bad so old Busta was in and as it would happen he is Wild Child's pasture buddy.
Not thinking for a second about the ramifications of putting Busta out into his pasture on my glorious victory, I blindly walked him out.
Less than 60 seconds later Busta walked over and opened Wild Child's door and set her free.
I mean "What The Hell Busta", you don't even like her.
Three months of work down the drain.
Busta the horse, he don't care, just something to do.
Yesterday this was not a funny story, today maybe it is?
Update.
As reported it's been a colder than average April so far and the mud is quite deep.
Yesterday I was out on the ridge unclogging a drain and over comes old Busta to check on my progress.
Busta takes a very keen interest in my projects, you know in case I need any help.
Good news to report.
Yesterday I put Wild Child's grain into her indoor outdoor stall, she walked in to eat it and stayed in to finish her bowl.
She used to get a mouth full, then go outside.
It would appear we are still on track.
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Yesterday someone was here at the farm and while I talked to them they started crying.
The short of it is that the world which I do not take part in can quite often be very unkind.
I told the person that they needed to go walk with a horse that they love a great deal.
It's not a cure but it sure does help.
Another gentle soul just returned to the farm after a 5 month absence.
While away this horse went a bit nuts and started biting people.
Within 10 minutes of being back in his old pasture with an old friend you saw his shoulders drop and the weight of the world lifted off them.
I started talking very softly to him and he once again returned to being gentle and kind.
People look at me like I'm nuts for running on a loop the same advice. "Talk to Them"
Animals pick up so much from the tome of your voice, your demeanor and micro expressions.
Your voice can be a soothing song if your heart is reflected in your words.
I kiss my Bull Mastif and tell her I love her every night before I go to bed.
I also talk to every horse on the farm each day while I do chores.
My role here besides chores is to pay attention to the horses mental state.
I try to be a very constant and dependable river that flows through there lives.
Sometimes that means letting them borrow some of my strength.
The next day there vet came to do this horses teeth, afterwards we chatted and they met our dogs.
People are always struck by how good and loving our dogs are.
Truth is like horses the job of working with them is never done.
The little one came out to say hi and the vet seemed surprised that again she was gentle and loving.
Small dogs are supposed to be yappy and bite, you know.
Beckey LaTwanda n The Queen of The North
Today while out doing morning chores I said something derogatory about my life. Windy, cold, just got up, hadn't had my coffee. Kathy said that a lot of people would love my life. YOU"RE KIDDING, WHO? I want names. Kathy said most of the people that come out here. Essentially I said, you're pulling my leg, right. Nope, she was serious. Well, I'm not sure that they have a very accurate idea of what that is. That said I'm now accepting all applications for folks who want to live the horse life of Pez Outlaw. For a very small fee, this life can be yours.
I had no idea that I was leading such a glamorous life. Though I have noticed that I'm looking kinda Beautiful lately.
Don't forget to tip your waitress on your way out.
Denny's Grand Slam. inside joke, never left the farm.
Don't forget to tip your waitress on your way out.
Denny's Grand Slam. inside joke, never left the farm.
Jeff Maysh there is an epic fantasy cartoon in this that only you could write.
Our perceptions of reality are very different at best.
Then you have to deal with some of us that reject reality n prefer to add a cartoon aspect to life.
Cut the crap, you know why I'm here.
Who is/are Beckey LaTwanda n The Queen of The North?
Perfect example, I can't even win a fight in my own head.
Beckey LaTwanda is a new horse staying here at the farm.
Her given name was Blizzard, Frosty or something, I didn't pay very good attention, that happens a lot.
I just started calling her Beckey because that's what she said.
Her new mom was torn between TaWanda (Thelma n Louise, never seen it) n Roz.
Haunted by the name Beckey LaTwanda, it jammed up my brain.
That n Dog Face Pony Soldier, funniest thing that I've ever heard.
Anyway for purposes of my cartoon reality the new horse is now Beckey LaTwanda.
My shaded sense of reality tends to run on 2 paths.
My farm life with the Dogs, Cats n Horses is one path or 3rd of my augmented cartoon reality.
The cats have actually been stealing the show lately by following me around, riding in hay carts n sleds, popping up everywhere n cracking jokes.
Cats are nuts n I find that very appealing.
The Queen of The North is Ann Jaeger.
I've never to my memory met her in person but I've known her for 25 years.
The name Queen Of The North is the way I think of her n the esteem that I hold her in.
Ann has it seems been there forever n to me a main character in this Pez Drama.
Add my need to shade life into more of a cartoon reality n you get Queen Of The North.
I guess that Makes Tina Christison Gunsauls The Good Witch of The West.
Careful though I haven't got her permission to refer to her as that yet, I hope she's Ok with it.
Tina said OK, not sure if it's OK, OK or ok?
So anyway 1/3 of my life's cartoon is Dogs Cats n Horses.
Another 3rd is The Pez Outlaw Cartoon with, Pez Outlaw, The King Of Austria/Johann, The Queen of Austria/can't remember her real name, The Queen of the North/ Ann, & The Good Witch Of The West/Tina.
Still a work in progress, Keeps my mind busy n reality out.
The other 3rd of my life is split in 2.
10am to 2pm the office, write, pack orders n promote Pez Outlaw.
8pm to 1am TV for inspiration n escape.
All of this leads to
Jelly Cat on a bender coming in in the morning with a Mouse Drunk Hangover.
Tootsie dog saying that she can smell it all over him.
Marnie Horse Bitching about Busta horse saying that the damned fool could care less about anything n there pasture becoming essentially Belvue the Asylum.
Marnie just wants Boy back cause he was dreamy n gave a Damn.
Gigantor the horse, really the name says it all.
At best he n I get along because of mutually shared goals.
Stick to that n we'll get along fine.
Red the horse a bit of a legend in his own right.
The guy is from Farwell n a scrapper.
He just average size but I've never seen him lose a fight.
Gigantor came into Reds pen n tried his shit, Red turned n double barreled him.
Red said we Good. Gigantor said yup.
Red only gives exactly whats necessary no more n onl y when absolutely necessary.
Red can be with anybody but like Bo n Buddy, women tend to make him a bit mean.
Busta Horse, The nicest guy your ever gonna wanna meet.
Never a bad word about anybody, but lives on the edge of grasping reality, I can relate.
Marnie Marie, well she's Marnie Marie, Kinda a Diva.
Loves hard,
Dogs for now are just Billy Dog n Puddy.
Haven't had a Bull Mastiff for a few years since Po died.
Billy does Yomans work making up for it n doing the job of 2 large dogs. we'll fix that in a bit.
Then there's the cats that have adopted me.
Jelly n Birdie, I think there bucking for the own spin off show.
Crazy just does not begin to cover it.
Anyway that's some of my cartoon life.
FYI, Yez I talk to the animals n Yes they talk to me.
Puzzles people when I tell them but who gives a damn.
To hear animals talk all you gotta do is listen.
Most animals talk up a storm.
Except Wheezie Horse / The Wild Child.
All Wheezer says is " I Vant To Be Alone".
I Think that there is a bigger animated cartoon/story here but I doubt my ability to write it.
Maybe some day someone like Jeff Maysh might be interested in writing it.
I know the character but all I get are bits n flashes of the story unfortunately.
Hazard Bay Horse Arena
I will be setting up the obstacle course in the 120x60ft arena tomorrow.
All are invited Saturday, Sunday, Monday, July 28, 29, and 30.
It's Free.
If you have a horse and a trailer, you know what to do.
5611 dewitt mi 48820
No Alcohol and you must behave yourself.
We call the obstacle course Hazard Bay.
Horses are a fight or flight type of animal.
We set up Hazard Bay 1 maybe 2 times a year so people can come in n expose there horses to as much safe crazy as possible.
When riding horse n rider are presented or confronted by many things that could spook your horse.
Hazard Bay is a way to desensitize your horse of things that might spook them in a safe controlled environment.
NEW! 3 section hanging wall.
This setup is free to anybody that behaves themselves.
The following are images of the different types of challenges.Horse people, feel free to share pictures with friends who have Horse Arenas to give them ideas.
If I can help you/them with the how, just ask via my facebook page.
Hazard bay is a lot of work but you/they could make one in your area.
So please share this post like crazy in the Horse World.
I'm told these are really good ideas.
So just ask. https://www.facebook.com/pezoutlaw
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car wash waterfalls, horses walk through 3 in a row
Toilet collar is used to mount to post.
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snake pit = cutup garden hose on tarp.
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car wash waterfalls
Toilet collar is used to mount to post.
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big pic
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general chaos
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Flags are made from what remained of an old tent.
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turnstile
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turnstile
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spiders
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general sensory overload
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spinners n tarp wall
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matress for horses to walk on
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big ball to play with or roll by
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Hanging barrels that clunk back
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Hanging barrels that clunk back
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Teeter totter for horses to walk over
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Water bottles make a great crushing sound when horses walk on them
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Wooden Bridge
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Billy Dog Likey
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Birdie n Jelly Cats
Random short stories
Birdie
Did I mention that I'm a Dog Person.
Birdie has other plans, she says I'm your best friend.
Birdie Cat Loves Cat TV. Looking out the window. Her favorite TV show is Birds in the Bushes. She loves that show even the reruns.
Birdie Cat was being all persnickety about the snow. OOOHHH, yuk, I don't wanna touch it. Then later I saw her out there makin snow angels.
Went into the Kitchen this morning, 2 cats on the table. Made Jelly get down. Jelly said what about Birdie? Nobody likes a tattle Tail Jelly. She's not hurtin anything. Favorites MucH?
Finally finished chores, a quick Birdie the cat story.
I had to fill 2 bale barns today with the tractor.
Went into the Barn n picked a 5ftx5ft bale from up high.
Well Birdie was on it n would not get off, so I pulled it down.
Birdie still would not move, got outside went to Kathy's window to show her.
Darn cat stayed put, thought for sure the second I wanted to show somebody she'd jump off. NOPE!
Drove to Bunny Horse's gate, had to lift bale 16ft to get in, saw saw Birdie crane her neck to look around.
ALL I could hear from way up there was "WEEEEEE, HIGHER HIGHER.
Drove to bale barn n placed Bale, time to cut the twine, Birdie "Oh Goodie we gonna play with strings.
Closed the Ban n Birdie Finally got down.
Went back to the barn to get the next one, up she goes onto the bale n tussled with me while I tried to get the Huge hay bag onto it.
Birdie is Nuts.
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Jelly The Cat
Crows Fly heralding his arrival.
The Crow is coming, The Crow is coming.
You look to see what all the fuss is about.
Jelly Cat has a new name n followers.
True story.
You know how all sitcoms have a theme song. Jelly Cat's sitcom theme song is "King Of The Road" by Roger Miller. Trailers for sale or rent. Rooms to let for 50cents. I'm a man of means by no means. King of the road.
Jelly has been Hoboing it up as of late. Going from house to house for handouts. Caught him in a muck bucket chowing down on rabbit stew.
Yesterday Jelly was a travelin man again. 1 mile over to Moriahs again n stopped by Katies for whatever was on offer. Kathy later realized what the crows nort of us were tracking n talking about. Jelly THe Wild Beast was on the move again.
He's resting today. Being a Travelin Man takes it outa you.
Yesterday we got a picture from Moriah/daughter who lives 9/10 of a mile away. The photo was of my granddaughter at home holding jelly cat. Jelly loves her most of all. That little bugger had walked almost a mile to say Hi. Dr Jones Dog kinda chased him off. By 3pm cat feeding old Jelly was standing there at home wanting his Kitty chow like nothing unusual had happened. Just a regular day to him in the life Of A Jelly Cat. The World Is Jelly Cat's Oyster.
I think Jelly Cat came in n told the dogs scary stories. Both have been nervous as a tick all morning.
Squirrel's n Slinky's
There's a video of a squirrel trying to climb the post of a Bird feeder.
The human attached a slinky to the bottom of the bird feeder that continues down over the top half of the pole.
The squirrel gets halfway up then gets on the slinky n back down to the ground he goes.
No animals were harmed in this video.
Got me thinking about words that are just funny all by themselves.
Squirrel, Slinky n a cat named Larry fall in this category.
A Cat named Larry
I've recently started watching Modern Family. Last nights episode dealt with the little girls cat who had been missing for 3 days. Being a comedy they no doubt spent a lot of time deciding what the funniest name for her cat would be.
It's not making fun of the name Larry to think that the name Larry for a cat is hilarious.
From the cat's point of view I'm sure he would say. You can call me Larry, as long as I get paid.
Morey Amsterdam once said that there are certain words used in a particular context that are just funny. That's really at the core of this post about a cat named Larry.
For the record, I once had a dog named BoB.
BoB, liked to play with yo yo's.
Every Bull Mastiff I've ever had was a clepto.
They'd steal anything they could reach.
Cell Phones, car keys, tissue boxes n T-P are favorites.
There was one dog though that was a specialist.
A Blue Heeler named Jake that only stole money n he'd take it straight to Kathy.
He always seemed very disappointed when we'd return the money.
There's a video of a squirrel trying to climb the post of a Bird feeder.
The human attached a slinky to the bottom of the bird feeder that continues down over the top half of the pole.
The squirrel gets halfway up then gets on the slinky n back down to the ground he goes.
No animals were harmed in this video.
Got me thinking about words that are just funny all by themselves.
Squirrel, Slinky n a cat named Larry fall in this category.
A Cat named Larry
I've recently started watching Modern Family. Last nights episode dealt with the little girls cat who had been missing for 3 days. Being a comedy they no doubt spent a lot of time deciding what the funniest name for her cat would be.
It's not making fun of the name Larry to think that the name Larry for a cat is hilarious.
From the cat's point of view I'm sure he would say. You can call me Larry, as long as I get paid.
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| Morey Amsterdam was a comic genius. |
Morey Amsterdam was an American television actor and comedian, best known for the role of Buddy Sorrell on CBS's The Dick Van Dyke Show from 1961 to 1966. Wikipedia
For the record, I once had a dog named BoB.
BoB, liked to play with yo yo's.
Every Bull Mastiff I've ever had was a clepto.
They'd steal anything they could reach.
Cell Phones, car keys, tissue boxes n T-P are favorites.
There was one dog though that was a specialist.
A Blue Heeler named Jake that only stole money n he'd take it straight to Kathy.
He always seemed very disappointed when we'd return the money.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
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new profile pic captures my essence
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