Thursday, August 6, 2015

Carpe Diem, Judas #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Before you run away or get the wrong impression, this post is actually a funny story.
Though I do intend to get very dramatic telling it.

The Drama

My very best friend stabbed me in the back.
I just can't believe that he'd do this to me.
After all the trust n goodwill we've built up n he does this.
You hear about friends treating each other this way but you don't believe your best friend would ever......

OK, that was the Dramatic part.

Now for the funny story.

I don't lift, carry or push anything that can be done with the tractor.
So every day I drive the tractor around n into the horse pens to put hay in there feeders.

The horse pen I trust the most to drive into the gate n not worry about horses getting out as I go in is Honey B, Paco, Johnny n the Old Man.
I call this horse pen "the Wild Bunch" mostly because it's always made up of the leftover horses from the other carefully constructed horse pens.

With the horses here we try to build very compatible small groups of horses in each pen that get along really well. 
What's left over, we give too Honey B, she can n does whip whatever group of horses she's with into shape really quick.
You do it Honey B's way or she'll dog you till you do.

That's why I trust her pen the most to drive into the open gate n not fear horses getting out.
Honey B usually chases anybody hindering the movement of hay to her feeders away.

So yesterday there was a scrum at the gate, like a fool I figured they'd all follow the hay like they always do.
Especially the Old Man, my buddy, my very best friend of all the horses.

Why is it that every error you make in life must play out in slow motion in your mind?
I reached that critical point going into the gate when the opening behind me made me vulnerable n at that point my buddy, my pal the Old Man shoots out the gate.

Seriously you old fool, what the hell are you doing.
Well it's the Old Man, how much trouble can this be.
I'll tell you how much.

That old bugger thought it was his Arab Spring.
Before you get your Knickers in a Twist, The Old Man is an Arabian Horse commonly referred to by horse people as Arab's.
Second, horses get kinda weird n energetic in the Springtime.
Hence Arab Spring.

I underestimated the Old Man every step of the way.
At least 3 times I thought, better get a lead rope.
At least 3 times I told myself, it's the Old Man, like somehow that made the problem smaller.
Which it did not, he was just having to much fun running me all round the front n back yard.

At first I thought he ran out the gate because I didn't let him come into his stall to eat his grain at 4:15.
I tell ya that crazy old fool keeps trying to turn supper into breakfast.
Dude 5:15 is the earliest that you can come in for supper.
So I figured he'd just run around front n go to his stall, NOPE.

I cursed him a Blue streak at one point when he ran out to the end of the driveway, like he might take off down the road.
He just looked at me like, Dude just screwing with ya, then ran back down the drive. 

20 minutes later after running into n around every building he went back to the gate that he escaped from.
Of course I still didn't have a lead rope, like I said I underestimated him every step of the way.
I mean, How much trouble can a 37yr old (111 in human yrs) horse get into.
PLENTY, is the answer.

So I just grabbed his mane n threw my arm around his neck n wrestled him back into the pen.
I will never underestimate The Old Man again.

I told Susan that Judas got out today.
She said Judas, Who in the hell is that?

Judas is the Old Man for betraying me n getting out.
To be honest though, The Old Man n I laughed our asses off the whole time he was out because he was having so much fun.
The Old Man was just kicking up his heels, he got into every kind of mischief imaginable but really no trouble.

Just Good Clean Fun for 2 old men.
Old Men curse each other out all the time, especially if they are friends.

I always figured if somebody from The Wild Bunch was gonna make a break for it, it would be Paco.
Paco is always scheming n plotting about that gate.
Old Man of action not plotting wins out, I guess.
In life there are planners/Paco n there are Doers/Old Man.

Carpe diem, Old Man.

Carpe diem, a phrase that comes from the Roman poet Horace, means literally "Pluck the day", though it's usually translated as "Seize the day" from- Merriam Webster

Redneck that I am, We all say Carpe diem, RIGHT?
OK you got me, I heard it on TV. 

The journey begins anew.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

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