Pez Outlaw, If It Hadn't Been For #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime, Peacock, Sling & Pluto. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

If it hadn't been for meeting Kathy at age 19, I would probably be dead, in a mental hospital or in jail.
Do we naturally gravitate towards salvation or our own destruction?
Are those the choices in life?
My whole life people say that I've sabotaged every success.
That may or may not be true but I made one good choice, Kathryn Ann.
For that one choice I will be eternally grateful, whatever else may come my way.
When you know something to be true, you really need to say it.

If it hadn't been for The money Kathy inherited from her mother n father, we would have lost the farm after Pez Corporation intentionally targeted us.

If it hadn't been for the money my grandmother left me my road to my Pez Adventure never would have started.

If it hadn't been for dk n jeff Pez outlaw diary would have gone nowhere past a book/blog.

If it hadn't been for.

This phrase is a big part of my life. Big n small, If it hadn't been for seems to be words we say very often.

I have, led a very lucky life.

If it hadn't been for crazy I would have most likely died in Vietnam at the age of 19.
Crazy, now there's an odd thing to be thankful for.
So in effect if it hadn't been for crazy I would in all likelihood be dead or have not lived the interesting life that I have.

It seems like my life has gone in bad directions many times. Right up to but not over the point of disaster. Then somehow every time my fat is pulled out of the fire n I am spared.

I am very grateful to this unseen hand, that we refer to as "If it hadn't been for".


If It Hadn't Been For
Add Tina Christison Gunsauls to this list
If there is a Pez Outlaw Book Tina Christison Gunsauls will be in the dedication after Kathryn Ann.

I gotta tell you though, I've met a lot of really great friends in the last few years.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Who Actually Wrote The Pez Outlaw Story #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

Everything that has happened concerning Pez Outlaw comes from my writing over the past 30yrs about him.

This gets lost in the creative process when folks write about him for the media or movies etc.

Where do they go for there research to develop whatever they are doing? My writing right here in these Blogs.

I'm not upset about this except in one regard. Don't pretend that you created your take on Pez Outlaw out of whole cloth. You wrote or created from my work. Yet to this date none have acknowledged the source of what they do. No Byline or writing credit has ever been given.

Some have even pretended that somehow they wrote the story & tried to claim ownership. Just because you don't acknowledge the importance of ny writing does not change the fact that your work derives from my writing.

I started writing stories about Pez Outlaw & his adventure in approximately 1995 in the Pez Handbooks that I used as a selling tool. In the early 2000s I began a more formal effort as a blogger in what I called the Pez Outlaw Diary, 

When I realized that continually adding to Pez Outlaw Diary was just making a mess of it. So in 2015 I created a new blog called Notes From the Asylum, which was a more expanded version of the Pez Outlaw Story.

Notes from the Asylum has 192 posts & at this point just under 2 Million views.

Pez Outlaw Diary has17 posts & just under 1/2 million views.

I'll get back to this

Pez Outlaw, 1 STOP! Zombie Shop #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime, Peacock, Sling & Pluto. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

Above is a picture that I saw on twitter.

My favorite Zombie shows are iZombie n Znation.
Damned Apocalypse. 
"Puppies n Kittens".

3:30am
Puddy (baby Dachshund) decides that there is an intruder. Puddy sounds the alarm. ZOMBIE ALERT!

Billy (big ass Great Dane) That's a great idea, Let's do this. Starts Howling.
Po (brindle Bull Mastiff) n Pinky (albino Doberman) join in. Ya know, What fun.
Me, Nooooo! Sounds like you guys got it, Wake me again if it gets serious.
I fall back asleep to Billy Howling. Half asleep it sounds like she is singing.

6:30am
Puddy sounds the Alarm. Intruder Alert!
Natalie is here doing chores.
Puddy, Bill, Pink n Po, we are not gonna let this go.
Well shit, it's time they went out in the pen to go potty anyway.

7:30am
We want back in, it's breakfast time.
Po scratching on the door. Nails on chalkboard.
So I give them breakfast.

9:00am
Puddy comes in on the bed, deciding it's time I get up.
Puddy attacks my face, then curls up next to me.

9:45am
Puddy attacks my face again, bites my nose.
Time to get up.
Then Puddy starts the morning war with my hands.
Puddy is saying, you are gonna get up or else.
After 5 minutes of nonstop battle, I get up.

10:43am
I'm in the office writing this, all the dogs are crashed out sleeping.
They are tired, after all it was a busy night.
Excuse me, a minute Puddy's at the office door, she want's in.

I guess everything went ok. No Zombie bodies on the floor this mornin.

Puddy Run A Muck.
Mom's Gone, Puddy's in Charge?

Zombie Apocalypse 

Who was it that decided that how you became a Zombie was a virus that we all cary n everybody that dies becomes a Zombie?

On most Zombie TV shows now, that seems to be the case.
In the old days, didn't you have to be bit to turn into a Zombie?

Brief note. I just wondered when the Zombie Apocalypse changed.

Who made that decision?
I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN YOU WERE GOOD UNLESS BITTEN.

Just had a really cool idea Zombie Tag.
Not sure yet if there is a whole post on Zombie Tag.
Is Zombie Tag a reality show or a philosophical discussion about the state of play in society?
ie -  the 1% vs the 99%.  Political class vs the working class. etc. It's all like playing Zombie Tag.
not sure of the direction, work in progress.
Whoa Nellie! That's most definitely above my pay grade.
Tag you're it.
Yes I'm kinda fixated on Zombies lately, but aren't we all.


KABOOM! Just fun to say.
Also a great cereal box from General Mills.
Should I just end it here n be pithy.

Naaah.
I watched the movie Interstellar last night.
Interstellar as a movie was kinda in love with itself very talkie, very high concept along with heavy handed propaganda about global warming.
In spite of so many strikes against it, I liked the movie.
The movie could've easily been cut to 90 or 100 minutes, like I said parts were indulgent, preachy n in love with itself.

Where it lured me in was the weaving together of space n dimensional travel, wormholes and black holes. Interstellar also had a good story if you ignored the yuck.

I was informed yesterday that Kathy is leaving again Wednesday for 5 nights.

This means that I can expect Nightly Fire-drills n Alarms due to imminent Zombie invasion.

Puddy Tiny Dachshund is positive that Zombie's lurk at the edge of the yard just waiting for there moment to attack.

Inside (Kathy) joke, Puddy swears one has a white stripe under his nose.

When Kathy is gone Puddy is on a hair trigger about Zombie invasion n of course her big sis Billy Dog is ready to get right on board with every sighting.

To hear Puddy n Billy tell it we barely escaped with our lives last Zombie invasion.

They dragged me to the kitchen at 6am to see there Zombie Kill.

Had to laugh at there naivety about Zombies.

Everybody except Puddy n Billy knows Zombies just get back up n walk off.

Only to lurk at the edge of the yard each night waiting. 

To Puddy, Zombie's need Killen. 

Zombie Rabbit Plague #zombie

OK the inside Joke.

Yes of course any unusual noise is A Zombie for sure to Puddy, tiny black Dachshund.

Though her true nemesis n in her mind the only true Zombies are actually rabbits.

Zombie's/rabbits get right up Puddy's nose. The linger in the yard just staring or at the edge of the yard just staring at her.

Puddy stands on the kitchen table just shrieking at there menacing gaze. 

You might not believe it but tiny Dachshunds are hunters n diggers. Our problem is that Puddy killed two Zombies when she was a pup, so really that's all she thinks about. Killing Zombie's.

That n Pinky, another Zombie killer, is why I built the dog pen.

Probably some foolish county ordinance against killing Zombie's.

So better safe than sorry.

One of Puddy's Zombie's has a white stripe under his nose.

Man that guy upsets her.

Sorry folks but Puddy has a passionate hatred of Zombie's. 

Zombie Fortress 

Last night Puddy raise the Alarm.

That devious white stripe Zombie Rabbit was stirring things up again.

I tried to calm her but she was running around gathering up all her Zombie Killin gear.

Puddy just kept repeating, I hate Zombies.

Every since Puddy n Pinky have been penned up the Zombie Rabbit population has reached epidemic proportions.

Stripe n his buds get real close to the fence n just taunt Puddy.

One even slipped into her Pen, Puddy went nuts, howling n carrying on.

I swear to God if those Zombie Rabbits keep taunting her, I'm gonna let Puddy slip her leash n do a little Zombie Hunting.

Puddy is really, really fast.

A little Zombie mayhem.

Puddy on Zombie Watch.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Pez Outlaw, Buy Me A Boat #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

I don't know about you Virgil but I think I like the commercials a lot of times better than the TV shows there in.
My current favorite is that guy stealin a car on the doorbell camera, What, What, What.
Limu Imu is also a favorite.
Commercials excel at stupid n idiotic n since that's where I live, of course I love Them.  

The standouts though are the cut up a boat commercials, like if you cut up a boat it proves something.
I must though admit to a great deal of disappointment with the new cut up boats crowd, they've switched to making the boat outa glass. BORING!
Dudes, go big or go home, as in cut up as big of a boat as you possibly can n tape or glue it back together. 
RIGHT! Now we're having fun again.

Buy Me A Boat.
So I can cut it up? 

Well there at it again.
They just keep cutting up perfectly good boats.
Just this morning I heard a new one for Flex Tape.
You guessed it, they cut a boat in half n taped it together with Flex Tape.
Then they put the boat on the water to show how good there Flex Tape is.

If I hadn't written this 3 months ago, I'd have written it again today.
So I re-posted it.

It struck me last night that there seems to be an odd fetish with boats n $19.95 TV products.

Who was it that decided the most effective way to prove something involved a boat.
Is it like, well we will use a boat to establish hands down no rebuttal that our product is the best. Most recently the guy is making the boat out of glass using his super sealent, but still a boat.

Is it a fear of water thing? Use a boat, show them that we got there backs.

You've got the infamous TV commercial where they cut the bottom out of a boat n  put a screen door in it. OK that's crazy, I like it. Then you spray the screen door with the product n show a guy on a lake, Safe as Houses. Ok a truth in my rant. I was surprised to hear that this same spray "rubber" was being used to protect houses in flooding areas. Kinda cool.

Under the category of. Well it worked for them.
Now you have the glue that can bond "anything". That only hardens after you shine a UV light or something on it. Well you guessed it, out comes a boat, but this time they cut the boat in half.
Use the glue to put it back together n there's that guy on the lake again.
I feel safer already.

It truly is amazing what you can buy on TV for $19.95. But wait, call now n we will double your order. You get Two.
Crazy thing is, I want both of them.

I have to admit that I really like these TV Commercials, maybe more than is healthy.

Money may not buy happiness but it will buy me a boat. Then, good little redneck that I am, I'm gonna cut it in half and put a screen door in the bottom of it. Cause I sure do love those commercials.


If they make a movie out of the Pez Outlaw story.
First three things I'm buying with my millions. (inside Joke. I'd probably clear $35,000)
1. A case of that spray stuff, Lying 2 cases.
2. A bunch of that UV light magic glue.
3. 5 years worth of survival food.
OK there's a 4 n 5.
4. A generac propane generator.
5. Wind n solar methods of producing electricity.

That's after I pay all debts.
You see my hit in 1998/Pez was like the rest of the US's hit in 2008.
I just got hit a decade ahead of you all.
It changed me like 2008 changed you.
My goal is to be self sufficient.


New Redneck Survival Kit.
Meals Ready To Eat, Duct Tape, Zip Ties, Rubbery Spray and UV Light Glue. 

OK, Times Up.
Gotta go do chores n then get up on the little barn (30x40ft) roof n paint the tin.
Surprised me yesterday to realize that this gray roof had originally been white.
SO, You guessed it, I'm painting it white again with a Flex rubber paint.
Ain't a boat but Bubba, I'm living the dream with a new rubber roof.



Well there back!
This time they've outdone themselves.
They made a boat outa Chicken wire n rubber paste.
It seems kinda Picayune to tell them that wire that the guy yanked off the chicken coops was actually rabbit wire. Everybody's a critique.

ps. thank you to Laurie Svendsen for the Christmas present of a 5 gallon bucket of white rubber paint. it's gonna do the 1st coat / primer on the barn roof. we'll do the second coat next year.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Pez Outlaw, The Booby Hatch #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

Reality is so depressing, without fail though Crazy always rushes in to save me.

I live my Life as a Cartoon.

I even have cartoon hands now.

I play with crazy daily, because it amuses me.
Metaphorically I wait in my padded room wearing this years most fashionable straight jacket.

I wait for word on the next chapter of my life.

I wait for the words that announce the beginning, that in turn creates the interest in the thing that leads to what an average nobody could never dream of as there reality.

Again I'm asked, Are you ready for what's coming. Pardon my French but hell yes I'm ready. I've been waiting ten years, of course I'm ready. Can we please finally just do this thing.

Life is absurd.
I've traveled the world.
I've literally earned over 4.5 million in a decade.
Then returned to poverty.

I've Spent the last decade hatching my revenge on the absurdity of Life.

I've been famous in my own little world. I know the mistakes I made. I'm ready for my closeup CB.

Until that day I wait in my mental cell here in the Asylum passing notes under the door with no idea if there's just a pile of notes on the other side or if they are being picked up n read.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Pez Outlaw, Hermitology #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

If left to my own devises, I would make Howard Hughes look like an extrovert.
Would someone please explain to me why I'm supposed to be nice to people I don't want around me. 
I just don't get why saying, Who are you n why are you here is wrong.
Seems logical to me to then say, you need to leave.
People are always saying they prefer honesty, but you know, they really don't. 

Recently a salesman asked me why he was here.
I told him, that's what I'd like to know.
By the way, that went over really well. 
I spend a lot of time in the Dog House.
So as you might guess I'm not allowed to talk to people sometimes.

For over 2 decades now, I have rarely left the farm. 
My Amish friend Henry travels way more than I do.
I have horses but unlike Henry I do not go anywhere on them.
I'm not agoraphobic because I do go outside, just not off my property. 

Oh yeah n I do not talk on telephones.
No idea what a shrink labels that one.
Last but not least, I do not like having my picture taken.
Which is why my online image is inverted/a negative.
I lied, I also don't like to shake hands.

Quite a switch I know. In the 1990s I traveled constantly, All over Canada, Europe, even South Africa and Australia.

Now I rarely leave the farm, except for a trip to Menard's every few months, but honest to god that's about it.

When the Playboy article came out I was warned it would change my life, mmmmmmm, never noticed a thing.
I suppose if I used telephones or ventured into the world I might have.

Have you heard how people case your home via facebook to see when you're not home?
Well me n the dogs are always here, ALWAYS!
I have also strategically placed methods of persuasion all over the farm, that is besides the dogs.

Gotta tell you a story.
While at the gas station buying gas to mow. yes for El Diablo I used a telephone n I left my property. What can I say, you wanna beat the devil it takes extraordinary actions.
While pumping the gas I struck up a conversation with the guy accross from me pumping gas to mow.
The conversation was him. Never sharpened my blades so many times in one summer.
Me. Usually you mow (here in Michigan) every 5 days in the spring n every 10 days in fall. I'm still mowing once a week. He mows 4 acres, me 3.5 hrs per mowing.


Again at TSC to buy water softener salt etc.
I struck up a conversation with a forklift operator, about the pros n cons of planting fruit trees in the fall.

I like 5 minute conversations with strangers, you can be friendly n openly honest without the repercussions of people you will ever see again. repercussions as in someone wanting to or taking it as you wanting a friend, I do not.

1,000 Strangers

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit to you that I find it much easier to share m feelings or have friendship with 1,000 strangers than one person.

I know people that are in desperate need of friendship, they have not chosen to be alone. I feel very bad for them even if I have no understanding of there need.

I am perfectly content with one friend Kathy and my family dogs n horses.

Casual relationships beyond that suite me. I also enjoy this vague relationship of the internet.
I enjoy talking to the unknown.

I Like Facebook it suites me to a T.
I like the detachment of facebook.
I can talk to anyone I want, anywhere in the world yet take my time to formulate my thoughts. I can use words like formulate.
You know how you really prefer watching a movie on TV as apposed to a theater because you can pause it to pee or get something to eat or drink. Same thing.
Also facebook is the purest medium for talking to people with just your mind, if you choose.
I also do not have to do it at a specific time, to the annoying ring of a phone, nor do I have to leave my farm to do it.

On twitter but like my phone I rarely turn it on.
So if you want or need to talk to me, facebook is the only place that is likely to happen.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

MOE-RON #pezoutlaw

Please Watch My Emmy Winning Movie, The Pez Outlaw on Amazon Prime & Peacock. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Best actor at SXSW.

It's My Story.

ebay link to Pez Outlaw Collectibles.

https://www.ebay.com/.../Pez-Outlaw-By-sj-glew/_i.html...

MOE-RON!
I wish I could make that even bigger.

I love that country song that says money won't buy me happiness but it will buy me a truck.
OK he says boat first.
I love that song.

This was a postscript on another post but I decided that I had an opinion on it.

The wisdom of the masses is supposed to be that "money won't buy you happiness".
I guarantee you though that lack of money will give you no end of unhappiness.

I honestly believe that rich folk came up with that bit of moron (pronounced MOE-RON) to try to keep the huddled masses pacified.
We are told to seek internal wisdom n peace while rich folk seek what little money we have.

Can't have poor folk storming the walls of rich folks castles.

I've been poor, matter of fact twice now. In between I had money.
Let me tell you I was a damn sight happier with money to pay my bills than I am without.

I think rich folk are trying to reason with the poor on a philosophical level.
Granted the thought is enlightened but if you can't pay your bills, it makes you miserable. Sometimes physically ill.

I'm also tired of very rich people on both sides of the isle who run for political office pretending that they could possibly have any real idea what being poor actually feels like.

So you know, Shut The F**k Up. Will ya please.
cause, money won't buy me happiness but it will buy me a truck.

I told you, I can have an opinion.

Hey maybe I should write greeting cards.
I see a prosperous future.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary