Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Charmed Life Of An Imbecile. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Yesterday while out doing chores I started wondering about something.
What if I really am a Catatonic in a mental hospital n all that I perceive as reality is my imagination creating a world to pacify me.

If that were the case, when did my alternate reality actually start?
Was it after a bad acid trip in the late 1960s?

One of the reasons the thought gains any traction in my mind is the charmed life I've led.
On many occasions my life could have been destroyed by the direction of my actions.
Somehow though I seem to always walk right up to the edge without falling off.
The military/Vietnam, Drugs/to much foolish abuse to state, Alcahol/excess.
Life's turns. Always almost losing everything but somehow barely staying afloat.

Why have I been so Lucky, as opposed to others I've watched crash n burn.
Maybe it is just that I have a foolish streak protected by a strong survival instinct.
Still, I've always felt like I had an Angel watching over me that pulls me out before the crash.
Think about it, in your dreams crazy reins supreme but you never see yourself die.

I don't leave my property very often.
Is that because when I go past certain boundaries it threatens my illusions?
This part in a way is probably true, because my world real or imagined is let's call it "creative and self created".

My brain screws with me a lot, yet somehow I've found a degree of peace.
All this said, would I actually mind if this was all a fabrication and not real?
No, I wouldn't.
Do I actually think that I'm catatonic somewhere n this is my minds creation?
No, I mean it's possible but not likely.

On the possible side, I do treat the world like it's not real, especially the internet.
I also feel that we all have the power to write our own story.
That said it can take decades for reality to catch up with the script you wrote. 

My touch n go relationship with reality is probably why I believe that there will be a Pez Outlaw Movie.
Why not, it's the way I'd imagine it. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

My Brain Is Killing Me #pezoutlaw #hollywood

How do I shed this?

No context because this is all I'll share.
Sick as she was, there she stood with compassion n a wet washcloth after I finished puking.
There are things in life that touch you deeply.

Shadows of Darkness

There are days
Days when darkness rules
Grinding away at your soul
Days when the stories don't help

I've lost all faith in the dream
Searching for new meaning
Old amusements no longer sooth
Leaving the mind adrift

Wrestling for meaning
Wishing for purpose
The dream has died
How do you release

Days become months become years.
Let me know when we land.
I've said most things twice.
There was supposed to be a different narrative by now.

3yrs - so many promises
I hate reality
I pray crazy returns soon
Tell me again why I said yes

This Michigan Farmer Made $4 Million Smuggling Rare Pez ... - Playboy


Help, Robots n computers have taken over.
I fear that my mind is no longer my own.
Anonymity is my only salvation.

These young tech folks keep creating things that make humanity more n more obsolete.
They do it for profit n the buzz from creation without regard for the results.
Skills needed to survive are lost with each passing day.

I now understand the Amish.
Just because you can does not mean you should.
I pray we all wake up before it's to late.

Robots are Satan's Spawn n the sooner we realize it the better.
My goal is to start an anti Robot movement.
? What is the ist or ism for being antirobot. 

Randomly Generated

Does a man with a ponytail have the right to criticize a man with a man-bun?
Probably not.

My hope is to share a world with you that you are maybe not aware of.
Bonus, when it amuses me to tell it.

Yesterday "New Laurie" said I was crackers, made her laugh in a good way.
Most people don't comment, is it avoiding the obvious?

Kathy said, you do realize n see it, right.
Had to tell her, actually no. 

We've covered this, so I'll only make a brief mention.
A crazy person perceives the world through his eyes not yours, so that world seems normal unless someone points out the misconception.
I fabricate the world that I find pleasing n accept "normal's".

Why is that a thing?
I do not understand "normal's" n have no idea about there world, I just accept them n it.
We the crazies just try to fit in your world best we can so as not to stand out any more than necessary.
So the thing that shocks us isn't that you might think we are crackers, what surprises us is that we thought we were doing a better job at fitting in.
In previous posts I've referred to this gap between our efforts to fit n us not as slippage.

The truth is most people around us are to polite to point out the slippage.
So it can be a bit of a Whoa BuBBa when someone points it out as we are rattling on about something that amuses us.
This gap of perception can be disconcerting.
see Him n Me - Pez Today #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Life is performance art, write your own narrative or it will be written for you if at all.
Don't bother to try n figure out my politics or hidden meanings, I'm schizophrenic I believe both sides equally.
I also disbelieve both sides equally. 
I can pretend to care if needed.

Good Dog
Billy Cuttin Dog

I just realized yesterday that for the first time that I know of in 50yrs I have a dog that is training me.
Billy Dog (Great Dane - female) is teaching me cues of communication.
Billy understands my language n what I'm asking her, her problem was I didn't understand her reply.
Smart as Billy is she decided that I might understand pantomime. 
So now when I ask her if she wants to go outside, she either happily goes or looks me square in the eyes n lays down.
I find this fascinating, Billy is designing a language so that she can communicate with me.

Billy Dog is extremely smart, she is always thinking n observing her world to find how to be useful.
Billy spent her 1st year somewhere else chained to a tree.
A very nice young man bought her when he saw it ($100.00) n brought her to me.
All Billy dog wants is to be a good dog.

Billy Dog is very observant, she's noticed changes n has decided taking care of Mom is her new job.
Billy is also working on her skills with horses.
Mom or I use a rough voice near a horse n Billy is there.
Billy knows where horses belong n she wants them to remember where they belong n go where they are supposed to go.
I see potential in Billy Dog's horse skills so I give her some latitude to find her way to useful.

The other day some horses were being potlickers to catch, as usual I told the miscreants if they didn't get in line I'd call Billy Dog.
They did not, so I did.
Billy Dog ran a line back n forth cutting them to a very small area, Works For Me.
This may have been a fluke, but I'm gonna build on it.
I see potential "Billy Cuttin Dog".

People say, is that a thing?
You know cause they've heard of herding dogs etc but not a cuttin dog.
Well if there is such a thing as a cuttin horse n there is, then there can be such a thing as a cuttin dog, cause Billy Dog invented it.
Remember, Great Dane were created by crossing Mastiff's n Greyhounds, so Billy Dog is extremely fast.
You thought Jordan had air time, Billy Dog can put it to shame.

The horses know who Billy Dog is, so when I threaten them with Billy Dog, they usually get right.
Billy Dog never touches a horse in any way, that's forbidden.

Billy Dog is destined to be one of the Best Dogs I've ever had, she has a lot of potential.
Billy Dog is always thinking n Billy Dog is always watching. 


I'd be remiss if I didn't mention.
Somebody is running a dog training video on this blog post.
I know how n have done the acceptable methods of dog training. 
Sit, stay, Heel, Blah Blah Blah.
My methods of training have evolved.
My number 1 goal is to save as much of the puppy as possible.

The training method I like best is conversational.
To observers it appears that I'm never training because my methods are just a continuous conversation with the dogs.
Recognized dog training is measured in weeks n months, my methods go on for years.
We communicate n move along at a very relaxed n leisurely pace.
Hell, I don't even care if my dogs know sit or lay on comand, not even relevant.
My goals are environmental n cohabitation training.
We talk.

I like to let a dog have a few quirks.
Billy Dog likes to dig really deep holes, it gives her great joy.
In the grand scheme of things, why in hell should this bother me.
I guide her areas of digging then encourage her to enjoy.
I've got a tractor, every so often I refill them n she gets the pleasure of beginning again.

Are my dog's well trained n well behaved?
Most visitors think so n even comment how well behaved they are.
Close enough for baseball.

Ying n Yang

The yang in that ying is PO/Proby Dog.
Proby is a "NUT".

Proby Dog has her fan base which seeks her out.
Po will be in one of her "I vant to be alone" moods n folks will walk way outa there way to pet her.
Proby Dog was never meant to be top dog or any kind of leader in our little pack.
The responsibility was thrust upon her after Rudy passed.
Po does not want the job, she's pushing Billy Dog to take that bullet instead of her.

Proby liked being a puppy for 4yrs.
Told you in a previous post about Po's fetish for TP.
Po also likes to carry things around, Mom's shoes, blankets, towels etc.
Pretty much anything.

Proby Dog is also a stone cold thief, cell phones, keys, brushes.
You leave it low enough for her to steal it n your just askin for it.
I warn n warn people but they keep leaving there stuff laying around.

Lastly Proby Dog has no idea of the meaning of the word no.
Po says, "what is this strange word you use, NO".
"I've never heard this word before".
N, I haven't the heart to explain it to her.

Proby is a pretty large Sprite/Free Spirit.
I think I went to far with Po on this whole save the puppy training method.
What am I gonna do?
Proby Dog was never destined to lead.
Po was always meant to be "OH Poby".

The plan is to buy Proby a puppy to raise.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary