Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Enigma Protocol #pezoutlaw #hollywood



Until I see some money, I must assume That I'm on my own.
I tweeted the daily limit on 6/18/2017 n felt a sense of accomplishment.
My Birthday is 6/21, I hear Carrot Cake is a vegetable.

4sale 75k Pez Outlaw Diary Book Publishing rights by Pez... (302350797951)

4sale 75k Pez Outlaw Life rights for a Movie by Pez Outlaw (272719368205)

Because my ability to communicate with Hollywood has been severed, 
I have no choice but to offer the rights to Pez Outlaw myself.
This is not by choice, I do this because it's the option that remains.

When Jeff muted me, (twice now) I took that as my answer.
That said I owe him 1 or 2 because I'm not the easiest person to deal with.
Though I have been on better behavior than in the past.

Medical n financial issues are making things more immediate.
I wish time was not an issue.
I've tried very hard for almost 3yrs to be patient.

My question is this.
After just under 3yrs you've had enough?
I've been at this for almost 20yrs.

The good news is, While I waited the last 3yrs I created Notes From The Asylum.
For that I'm grateful.





In the beginning promises of everything you want will come true.Years later promises we'll talk next week, then muted on twitter.

The courtship begins with lots of desired attention.
It ends with annoyance that you won't take a hint.

The next challenge awaits.
You are yesterday.

Try as you might not to be been there done that.
Truth is, "You Know Me to Well By Now".

Needs that can't be fulfilled become bitter reminders of promises unkept.
Life's hardships to tiresome to hear.

Attention becomes a desperate need to escape.
None of us want the reality of failure.

New provides the innocence lost with time.
There is no way to recapture the beginning.

Knowing or predicting the outcome holds no solace.
I wanted desperately to be wrong.

Called a fool for not trying.
Like a spurned lover, I try to believe.

Left with time lost.
n no T-shirt

e·nig·ma   par·a·dox


 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, June 19, 2017

Big Fish Mystery #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

I used to think that all sorts of things really mattered n were worth getting upset about.
Not so much anymore.




Case File 19. 


13 years ago I was in Paris.
No idea what the future held.
Do I really want to know?

Shadows fall.
How do I fit my dreams into this reality?
The Absurdity of life is intoxicating.

Don't tell people what you know is true.
Wear the face people expect to see. 
Mustn't appear different.

I keep going back to 51% Sane.
Are you ready for what's coming?
Maybe I wasn't

Bones in the crawl space? 
If not for crazy, reality would kill me. 
The shame of Time lost.

The cycle repeats.
My Angel is gone. 
Maybe Today.

Nothing is fixed.
Neglected past, unrecognized present.
Fantasy the last refuge.

The tears of a child for his future.
A window from that moment to this?
Is it yet to come?

I can't control how others see me.
That's their truth.
Crazy would be to try.


I came here expecting nothing.
Truth revealed itself.
Shame fell away.

A liberating truth.
Labels became assets.
Clarity, before darkness claims it's own.

WINNER n Still Champion, Big Fish, 6,300 views.
4 posts in Notes From The Asylum have well over 4,000 views each.

NFTA currently is at 475,000 views overall. 
My twitter page has had approx 5million impressions.


*******************************

"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas


I like to think of life like the the stars in the sky.
Each star is a moment in time or a thought.
With NFTA I try to pluck some of those moments to create a stream of thought.

I understand that abstract thought is not every-bodies cup of tea.
Those that don't get or like it, don't.
Those that do, I treasure.

Life is just the agreed upon version of crazy.
My search is connect the unconnected dot that we usually can't see.
Big Fish was a gift, that I'm very grateful for.

The title always comes first.
The words fall down underneath it.
The Universe in all its forms will speak to you if you are listening.

I have no use for the past n little for the present.
My interest is the moments in between.
Moments of clarity, a brief conversation with the unseen.

Reality is tedious, but moments of clarity are delicious.
I live each day in the hope of those brief moments.
I don't get them every day or even once a week, but often enough that I wait for each one.

That's why I'm so grateful for Big Fish.
The title is the key that unlocks the door.
Within is that which feeds my soul. 

Abstract thought is like dancing between raindrops n not getting wet.
The raindrops of the past, the present n the future.
What I want can only be found between the drops of rain.


*******************************

I really like Big Fish Mystery.
In my attempts to create abstraction with words, to date it's my best.
I really hope that you agree. 

Big Fish is now at over 5,000 views n at the top of my A-List. 
When you love something it feels really good to see approval. 

? some perspective might shed light.
I have cut approx 300 of the 520 posts I've written.
It used to be I cut a post if it only achieved 250 views in say 4 months.
Now posts with 500+ views get cut, I only want the best on Notes From The Asylum.
Very soon that bar will be any post with less than 1,000 views will get cut from NFTA.
Number of views are like ratings here at the Asylum, just like TV low ratings get cut.

Notes From The Asylum is just under 2yrs old.
It used to take 6months to a year for a post to hit 1,000 views.
Only 2 other posts have had this type of success out of the 500 posts I've written n the 194 that have survived on NFTA.
That said though over a dozen posts are now at over 2,000 views ea.
1 post is at over 4,000 views, 2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #holly...

Of all the things I've done in my life, I would find the most gratification in Notes From The Asylum being published. 
NFTA is creation n I love that most of all.

Within the next 2 months Notes From The Asylum will reach a very big milestone.
Unfortunately, to broadcast it might not be something I should share.

*****************************

To my knowledge Congress nor the President are going to pass a law giving Pez Outlaw success.

So Forgive me, I just feel if my life is gonna change, I gotta do it.
Various administrations come n they go, my destiny is up to me.
So Holidays etc, I continue to work. 

Other peoples good fortune is there's not mine.
I choose not to live through there success or failure.
To do so would diffuse my efforts. 

Congratulations n good luck but honestly it will not change my life.
Only my efforts can be mine or change my life.
That said we continue, I have daily goals that must be met. 

***************************************************


Today my mood like my Boots has a lot of mud on it.
Have you ever noticed how your mood reflects the weather?

Yesterday one of the gals had a really good day with her horse.
She was walking around on cloud 9 n didn't want the day to end.

It's all perspective isn't it.
I've been slogging around in 4 inches of mud for 4 days now, so my perspective is different.

It's all where you stand.
Nice hard ground n enclosed arena or out in the pens like me n the horses.

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 

Totally off subject.
Recently I was made aware of a Blue Dog needing a home.
I just couldn't, I need a Big Red Dog.
Like Maggie Thatcher said, I'm getting Wobbly.
Big Red Dogs (Bull Mastiff's) are my Spirit Guides. 
Yes, I believe in that stuff with all my heart.
It's been to long.

Just dawned on me, maybe that's her name.
Maggie. 

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.






 

Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw #NFTA

What an interesting n odd way to look at something.
My guess is you clicked this post hunting for an enlightening metaphor. 
Of course there is one but not today, today it's about the other things that give me joy.

Yes rocks float, to clarify in dirt.
Have you ever noticed how rocks seem to work there way up to the surface.
There's a point to this. 

Over the last week I've been working on a kinda big project.
Moving a barn n creating a circle drive.
Barn was in a bog n smack in the middle of where I wanted to put the circle drive.

I'd put a large amount of rocks at the entrances to the barn.
Well if I'd left them there they'd have just work up n killed the mower.
So I dug them all out n used them as a base for the drive.

The project is going well, but it would go better if I had any money.
What I wouldn't give for 5 six inch 8ft fence posts, 6 of 12ft 4x4s n 6 sheets of 3/4 OSB.
Make do n increase the labor quotient.

Temp is about 80 now n the work has been brutal.
Chores, manure removal, getting hay, then the projects.
4 hrs to mow, then weed whacking, plus the gardens.

Yesterday was stump removal day, got 5 of them out, 3 to go.
Did I mention that I do this shit alone.
Well me the tractor n Billy Dog.

This morning I got up n to my surprise I felt pretty good.
Felt like crapp for about a week.
Just plain wore out.

When I was a child I played football in 9th n 10th grade.
Workouts began in August.
We're talking exercise till you puke workouts.

This spring has been that same kind of rough.
10 days ago I thought I was getting back in shape after winter.
Silly Rabbit.

The last week has been a whole new level of tired.
You push up to the line n hydrate.
Collapse n do it again the next day n the next day.

I know where the line is.
Muscles start cramping from fatigue.
You needed to stop half hr ago. 

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate.
I drink 48 oz of water in summer each day while I work.
I also drink 16 oz of Electric Lights liquid. 

Electric lights is intentional so no comments.
I'll live in my world, you live in yours.
My ways more fun.

Then you wake up one morning n you don't feel to bad.
Actually feel kinda good.
I like work, it keeps the mind busy.

Anyway, Rocks Float.

I just realized something.
I'm not invested in any particular post.
Me, just talking. 
I'm perfectly happy to let readers decide what they like.

here's what you think.
Big Fish Mystery #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA
2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #holly...
Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw #NFTA...
Secrets #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA
Pez Today #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA








round here it's Redneck Country #pezoutlaw








If It Hadn't Been For #pezoutlaw 








Guilt Trip, $19.95. #pezoutlaw #hollywood








Maybe Today? #pezoutlaw #hollywood
Six-Guns n Groceries #pezoutlaw 












Thank you.
I really appreciate it.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



 


Saturday, June 17, 2017

Secrets #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Pez Outlaw
My grandson wants my life n I want my dog Proby's life.


Revealing truth is liberating.
Withholding truth makes you vulnerable.
Secrets are a cancer on your soul.
Yet life is filled with secrets.

You can't live without relationships.
Though the maintenance is set with Booby-traps.
One wrong step n that spiky thing comes at you.
When did it get so complicated.

You'd think honesty would protect you.
Some days I get wore out from careful conversation. 
The truth is, you can't be honest with people.
Total honesty repels people. 

I just apologized to a friend for saying what's on my mind.
I wish it was the first time.
I told him that I seem to have a talent for making people not want to talk to me.
Just an observation, how much it matters I'm uncertain of.

So you hold your thoughts close.
Until that one person who gets you, Joshua my son says something.
N you almost scream in response, Yeah!
The response is almost a cry of relief.

Then Joshua says something else n again halfway though you shout, YEAH!
Thinking all the while, Why don't others seem to see it.
Then Josh says people are telling him he's becoming more like me by the day.
It was inevitable, I am my father, Joshua is me n Danny or Jake will be Joshua.

So what's the point?
There is none, just frustration.
People say they want the truth or an honest answer, but they really don't.
They want to hear whatever version makes them feel OK with themselves.

Problem is that I usually know what I want and what I think.
Where I get in trouble is when I share it.
Are there rules I don't know how to follow?
Is this written down somewhere?

I've met people who look scared at the thought of saying what they want.
N if you press them, it angers them, like I'm somehow not respecting the process.
I see this over n over and I still don't understand it.
I am willing to accept what I want, To some what they want is a process.

People say I get there to quick, n that I'm impatient.
The thing is that I know what I want n time is slipping away.
With Pez, What made me different?
Really simple. I saw something n I acted on it, while others thought about acting. 

I'm as puzzled today at almost 65 as I was a child of 5. 
I'm not delusional, I don't think that this is brilliant. 
I'm just purging. 
My imaginary shrink says I need to write things down.

It's like I told Josh, write it out straight, then make it abstract.
Because if you say it straight it offends people.
Keep it vague n people can interpret the meaning to there liking.
Truth can be liberating but it can also be cruel or unwanted.

That n I believe I push to hard.
For which I'm truly sorry.
But we know I won't change.
It's like the scorpion n the river, It's my nature.

I will say this though.
I may know what I think from given information.
Though I have no idea what that information will be.
Meaning, I have no idea what the future holds.

I know what I want but it's in the hands of those pesky relationships.
N Yup you guessed it, they don't want to talk to me.
A Feller could get a complex, were it not for ego. 
I'm OK, You're OK. Are we good?

I remain. 
Not a Damn clue. 
Yours.
Pez Outlaw.

Thank God, it's time for therapy.
Smiley Face, today we get Jello or is it Pudding?
See what I mean?

My imaginary Shrink says, It only matters if you pretend to know if it's pudding or Jello. 

The Title should have been Jello or Pudding. 
Should I change it?
I like my life, I do things the way I like.
Example is the 4 line verse I use here, just because I like it.

We went on a deep dive today.
Hopefully it was amusing. 

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites.
 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



 




Friday, June 16, 2017

2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

YES, I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!
2020 Campaign Slogan.
If it's good enough for Urkel, it's good enough for me. 
















Old men start slow. 
It takes 4 years to get our momentum going.
In 2016 I ran a 4 week campaign, for 2020 I figured I'd run a 4 year campaign.
Failure is no excuse for not trying again. 

To those who chant the mantra against "The Permanent Campaign". 
Yo Mama.

I intend to spend the same amount of money in my 2020 run for President as I did in my 2016 run. ZERO! 
I figure if I can get the CRAZY vote  that I'm a shoe in for President in 2020.
What? I waited 4 weeks to announce.




I view life as performance art.
Pez Outlaw For President.





Wouldn't it be cool if there was a Pez Outlaw For President pin like this of above pic.



I'm crowd funding votes for Pez Outlaw for president



I'm attempting to crowd fund your write in vote for Pez Outlaw for president as publicity to get a book published.





It's for the children

PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT
It's for the children, puppies n kittens.








WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT in 2020
I'm a Strong believer in nepotism, I Will fill as many positions as possible with family members.
  

the caliber of my appointees..



If elected President I only think it's fair to give you an idea of the caliber of my appointees..
 








Thank You, Thank You Very Much


WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8, 2020
Campaign song, Hay, Hay, Poo, Poo............


Every Dead person that can should get out n Vote Pez Outlaw for President





WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Presidential Qualifications
I shovel Horse Shit for a living.



Every Presidential election year a lot of Americans decide to not vote for any of the candidates for President on the ballot. These voters instead choose to write in a name of there own for President as a gesture of defiance concerning what is on offer. These write in votes are a right in our election process but unfortunately count very little in the end. My hope is that if you are going to write in a candidate for President that you make your protest in the name Pez Outlaw. If I can get enough people who write in a candidate for president to write in Pez Outlaw a secondary good will come from your act of protest. Your vote might also have the secondary effect of getting me a book deal. 

Your write in vote will gain you nothing, so why not let it do some good for somebody else. ME! To address a concern you might have as to how good a writer I actually am. For this book I'm trying to get published with the help of you writing in Pez Outlaw for President. I'm already under contract with the ghost writer Jeff Maysh who wrote the April 2015 Playboy story The Pez Outlaw see-  http://www.playboy.com/articles/pez-outlaw   which won 2 writing awards. see- Pez Outlaw Wins 2 Awards #pezoutlaw #hollywood    

So I'm asking you to Vote Pez Outlaw as a write in for President. You know that you are going to do it anyway, all I'm asking is that you let that act of protest have a secondary good by making your write in vote for president be Pez Outlaw.

I love this straight jacket pic.



Because there are so many voices/personalities in my head, my campaign is fully staffed.
Pez Outlaw for President.   









I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time


I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time #pezoutlaw #hollywood: VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8, 2020



I want to recycle your write in protest vote for president into something new, a Pez Outlaw Book. Vote Pez Outlaw for President.



My philosophy on life is this. You never give up, never give in n never quit trying. Try everything no matter how foolish others might think you are for attempting it. That you do is what separates you from those who only wish for things. I have now spent almost 2 decades on this 1 project, that's the dedication to a dreams fulfillment that it takes.




I have zero money, but even that to me is no excuse. As always the trick is to find the loophole n exploit it. I have my story so for me this time that loophole is the great equalizer of the internet. With the internet I can without money pursue my dream of a Pez Outlaw book. If you write in Pez Outlaw for president this year, my dream of a book could come true.

At first glance I accept how crazy this idea seems, but if people who write in a vote for president choose Pez Outlaw, it will work.
That old thing, it's so crazy, it might just work.
VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Pez Outlaw For President, Recent campaign rally.

Donald trump might get 10,000 to 15,000 people at a rally, but look how many people we got in a phone booth.

Yes we held a campaign rally in a phone booth, it was the only place we could get, but we packed em in. 




Cabinet Meeting of my administration

I promise as President to do absolutely nothing except take pointless trips on Airforce 1 n play Golf.



From the big brain room






VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT has 3,200 views so far.  
Pretty good for one of my posts. 
My #1 post is VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8 #pezoutlaw.
In my reality, only my numbers are relevant.





It's official.
VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8 is now the highest viewed post on Notes From The Asylum.
Yes, I Hammered it to get there.


I'm shamelessly seeking validation n approval, hence the following.

Google+ Followers, please give VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT post a G+1 positive feedback.


Within insanity, find good
Out of chaos, find purpose
Solutions are found in the most unlikely of places
To find answers, you must have eyes that can see
Faith n belief in yourself, will carry you  

This crazy pretend world I've created is where I find refuge from the harsh n painful realities of life. My dreams are what sustain me. All my crazy schemes give me hope.

Now, On With The Show

I'm campaigning for the Mickey Mouse, Evan McMullin, Gary Johnson n Jill Stein Vote. 

VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8
Why Not, could I possibly be worse?


America has a long n proud history of crazy people running for President.
My turn.

"As President, I Pez Outlaw couldn't possibly do worse."
Pez Outlaw for President yard sign.
Pez Outlaw for President, Better than Mickey Mouse. 

It's a race to the bottom for President, Vote Pez Outlaw for President because I'm it.
So if you're looking for the bottom of the barrel for President, look no further, Pez Outlaw. 
In a year of bad choices for President, Why not make the worst choice, Pez Outlaw.


Are you better off than you were 8yrs ago?
Things could be worse, Vote Pez Outlaw for President. 

A Vote for Pez Outlaw is a vote for ummmmmm yup change.

If elected I promise a 1957 Ford Truck in every garage.
You'll thank me later, after the pulse.

Pez Outlaw for President Campaign slogan.
My best friend has a favorite stick.
Though her favorite stick changes every few days, they wear out.

I  know a lot of folks are terribly conflicted this year n are gonna write in a crazy name in protest.
I'm here to ask for that vote.
Write in any other name is just a shameful waste. 
Make your write in vote PEZ OUTLAW for president because I might get a book deal out of it.
From my perspective that vote then would not have been wasted. 

Think of your write in vote of PEZ OUTLAW for president as crowd funding a book deal for me.

Every Presidential election year a significant number of people vote for Mickey Mouse.
I'm asking for the Mickey Mouse vote.
Let's make it Pez Outlaw this time.

I know a lot of people are ashamed to say who they are voting for right now.
Say PEZ OUTLAW for President with pride. 

If mistakenly elected President, I promise to only serve 90 days, just long enough to get a great retirement package.

As President I promise that all my speeches will be pointless rambling about nothing n made up stuff.
As president many of my speeches would simply be "Dude" then, he gone.

As President I would rent out every room in the White House like a bed n breakfast to raise money to pay down the National debt. 

As President I would turn the White House front lawn into a horse pasture for the Old Man n his Buds. 


As President all motorcades would include me on my tractor moving at a snails pace. 

As President besides doing nothing, I promise to also stand for nothing. 

I promise as President it would be like I wasn't even there. 


But Wait There's More, Act now n..........


Here's the book Pez Outlaw Diary 
It's FREE online to read, right now.




After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.






 

Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Pez Today #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA


Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.
You only think you've seen crazy?
The best is yet to come.

Pez Today Lacks Vision

I say this for many reasons.
Starting with, How long can Pez Corporation live off my ideas, "crystals, glow in the dark n color variations".
How much money would I have if I'd received just 1 penny for every Bubble man, Crystal, glow in the dark or color variation dispenser Pez corp has sold since 1998.
My guess, well over $100,000.00.

On the collector side it also lacks vision.
I  recently offered 2,500 banks at .75cents per.
Cheap right! But it seems the ability to see how you could sell or use that many is gone.
I used to buy up to 10,000 per type of a dispenser knowing I could sell them all.
The vision is so much smaller now.


Fantasy Pez
They scare the hell out of me as to the future of Pez Collecting.
Best example a guy showing a Kooky Zoo Elephant clear blueish he created talking about his discovery of pressure method or something.
When the line between real n fantasy blurs this much, it is not a good thing.

Known Universe is becoming to large to wrap your mind around.
Say 1,000 known dispensers in approx 1994.
Today triple that n Pez Corp is going crazy creating everything they can license or imagine.
There needs to be a new demarcation point, similar to no feet to footed.
This is way over due.

Travel.
This morning I'm listening to Serious XM The Highway n the dj is talking about a singer traveling in Europe.
For the first time in a decade n a half I thought, Yeah I could do that again.
You have to wonder how Pez Corp would feel about a resurgence of Pez Outlaw in there lives.

With all I've written, here's something still untold.
I've never written or told anyone who my real contacts were.
I've protected these sources for over 2 decades n never will reveal them.
Yes I've mentioned some, but only the unimportant ones.
No matter how rough things have gotten, even when offered money, I've declined.
You can't buy or sell relationships.

Pez Outlaw Diary Book publishing rights 4sale by owner 75k


My impression from ebay is that Pez is in a slump.
David has MMM's I sold 20yrs ago for $25 to $35 at $26.00.
Generally I just don't see enthusiasm.

Makes me think Pez needs a good kick in the pants.
Would a big Pez Outlaw thingy be just the medicine?
A nationwide whamp of excitement n spotlight.

By now you all know me better from my writing in Notes From The Asylum.
I really don't like the spotlight, I prefer my quiet life.
If this thing happens I will make it about Pez Outlaw n Pez not me.

My hope is that all of you will use this opportunity for yourselves n the hobby of collecting Pez.
I have absolutely no problem with stepping back n letting you all have some fun with it.
Like Chancy Gardener said, "I like to watch".

Once this happens I believe it would be better served by a thousand points of light than one.
I won't need to tell you when to begin, it will be obvious.
Step forward n use it with my blessing, the more you do, the less I will have to. 

Lately I've become a fan of the pre2016 British Top Gear, because those guys were seriously nuts. (I don't care who hit who, FUNNY IS FUNNY! quit being so PC n fix it. comedy is supposed to be irreverent n anarchistic.) more (I'm not saying Matt Lablanc n that other guys 2016 show is awful, It's just not the Top Gear I like with Captain Slow, The Hamster n the Big Ape.)
The point is the crazy stuff Jeremy says in his intros to The Stig.
Make up all kinds of outlandish stories n recollections of Pez Outlaw.

The crazier the better.
Who am I to say it's not true. 
Pez Outlaw needs to become as much myth as Legend.
1st known photo of Pez Outlaw - 1957

Examples:
Pez Outlaw once walked the entire length of the Great Wall of China backwards because he thought he was being followed.
Pez Outlaw was offered the Presidency of Pez Corporation but couldn't afford the pay cut. 
Certain facts in the History of Pez Outlaw are true, but that doesn't mean everything needs to be.

Pez Outlaw came to being because of Pez n the Hobby of Collecting Pez.
In that sense Pez Outlaw n his story belongs to you also.
So have fun with it, "It's always better to ask forgiveness than Permission".

I mentioned how major dealers are selling pez at or below what I sold for 20 yrs ago.
To illustrate.

Pez I bought under questionable providence, I paid $1.25 each. 
Add to that the following costs;
Ticket to Europe n back approx $800 to $900.00
Car approx $500. to $800.00
Hotel $300 to $500.00
Extra luggage fee approx $300.00
Food etc $300.00

Point being any pez I brought into the USA from Europe had a base cost of approx $2.00 ea.
I'm just saying that I do not understand the low prices I'm seeing on ebay.

If? IF!
We'll see what we can do about that.
One last ride by Pez Outlaw.

If it happens Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.

Ask the folks who were at the conventions we attended.
They'll tell you what good times look like. 

True or False

Josh n I once ran around a Pez Convention in Gorilla Costumes. True.

I once turned over half a refrigerator box of Pez in the middle of the floor of a Pez Convention as a free mad scramble give away. True. actually twice, Cleveland n LA.

Pez Outlaw once drove his rental car through a mall area in downtown Vienna. True.

Pez Outlaw was held at gun point by Police/Military. True, this happened at least 2 to 3 times.

Anyway that's it for today.
Time to go be EB, putting final touches on tin horse shed today.
Yippie it's done, now on to the circle drive.

I thought this post was fun, hope you did to. 
1200 views in 48hrs. thank you so much for your support. 

Psycho Lucy

Psycho Lucy is probably one of the most underrated Pez dispensers ever made in a very short run. approx 300 were made, current value is $100 to $150.00

Psycho Lucy, one of Pez Outlaw's children.
Psycho Lucy was the first in a long line of Pez Outlaw Pez dispensers. Thank god this one was not duplicated by Pez USA.

Psycho Lucy is one of my fondest memories.  Black Santa n Psycho Lucy were the 2 best things to come out of my Pez years.

Psycho Lucy Pez dispenser. White paint on face instead of black. I asked Marco if he could make a Lucy Pez dispenser with white eyes. Somehow in translation this came out a White face Lucy Pez dispenser. So he created normal Lucy Pez dispenser but all face detailing done with white paint. This Pez dispenser was thought of because of the Lucy with White eyes. Marco created about 300 of this Pez dispensers for me. 

I named her Psycho Lucy because my first reaction when he showed this Pez dispenser to me was. She looks Psycho.

Most of what I did as Pez Outlaw was equal parts luck n perseverance. 
The key though is that you have to show up or luck just passes you by.
What a wonderful accident she was.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



 


Wednesday, June 14, 2017

round here it's Redneck Country #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Got an outhouse, check.use it all the time.

house came on wheels, you know but we took them off.

I think dirt is fun
My tractor is my off road vehicle.
I love building/contouring my property with horse manure.

I make things just to get by that city folks say I should patent. 
wasn't the point.
I love creating to solve a problem, I hate production beyond need.

I no longer desire to be rich.
I just need enough to take care of a few things.
Then I wanna live my life out in obscurity. 
Money just causes chaos, I haven't carried money in 15yrs, zero. 
Somebody ever robs me, hope he brought some money cause that's the only way he leaves with anything.

I bought 7 used tire chains for $100. Two store bought chains run $200 to $500.
Gave the front paws of my tractor some bite. 
tickles me to the bone every time my girl climbs an icy hill or grips her way through 12 inches of mud.

sick don't get the chores done

duct tape on fingers of my gloves. actually works n makes them better.
If only I could use duct tape to cure Hay Knee.
Don't think I'm not gonna give it a try.
Unlike city folk who buy holey jeans, Hay knee means my legs get cut up.
I hate throwing away good jeans just because the Hay Knee gets to bad.  

I know Duct tape is considered Redneck, but Zip Ties are the new Duct Tape.

you call plummer for backed up sewer, I am the guy covered in poo fixin it.
You got a guy, I am our guy. Well me n ole Josh.

we recycle, yup. it's called making do, reuse, find another purpose for it.

I love Hamburger Helper n The Velveeta Cheesy Skillets versions especially.

Velveeta Cheesy Skillets Chicken Bacon Ranch is the best especially if you replace the chicken w/beef.
big night out is crazy bread from Hungry Howie's

Cowboy Copas, Lefty Frizzel, Ernest Tubs, those were cool country names.

my store bought teeth set in a jar. I just don't see the point. 

Just like my old dogs Boomie, Soupy n Rudy, I keep score. 
If you cross the line, you stay there forever with me. 
People tell me through words or actions who they really are, whether they realize it or not.
Not hate, just disregard. You leave my world. Active Hate takes to much energy.
Boomie, Soupy n Rudy grudged.
If you got on there shit list, you stayed there for life.
god I miss those dogs.

Sometimes I think I miss good dogs that are gone more than people. 
There I go tryin to be correct for ya. Of course I miss my old dogs more than people.

In my youth I ran from my roots n who I really was.
From my teens to about age 50 I adopted city ways.
Problem was country kept slipping out around the edges.
I'd be doin a Pez show n get looks from a friend thinking I was being a little hoaky/country. 
In recent years I've dropped all the city n embraced my country roots.
I'm happier than I've ever been. 

There is absolutely no point in hiding from who you are.
I prefer to hang a lantern on my true self.
If folks don't like the real you, there really isn't much point in them, is there.
Being kinda a Hermit helps though.
I really don't need people.

My people come from Farwell Michigan.
My grandfather was the town drunk.
I'm an alcoholic, sober 45 years. 
I no longer run from who I am or where I come from, I embrace it. 

Definitely NOT, Politically Correct

The dependable thing about stupidity is how it loves to repeat itself.
A decade or 2 ago society decided that males should be feminized.
Next thing you know women were fed up n wanting real men for husbands. 

I don't understand why this phenomenon keeps repeating itself. 
Every decade or 2 society decides to destroy the masculinity of a generation of males.
Then oops sorry about that, that's not what we wanted after all. 

What I'm saying here is "Definitely NOT, Politically Correct". 
I apologize for being a traditional male.
Thing is I can't change n don't desire to.

What brings this all up?
I'm gonna blame Brit Hume, FOX's Greta replacement for this post.
Link to Brit Hume segment https://twitter.com/FoxNewsInsider/status/783099343163133952
Sure yank the old guy outa retirement when somebody quits, Don't get me started. 

Anyway Brit Hume has a segment called Campus Crazy.
Yesterday had a piece about 2 Colleges that are reprogramming young males as to how horrid they are.
I'm just sayin to young ladies out there, you think you want this but in 10 years or so you're gonna regret this decision.

Yes, young males are walking hard ons, but they settle down by about age 29.
If you feminize them, they lose there identities.
Take a hard look at women in there 30s n 40s, they like country boys.

Young Liberals love to treat country boys like cavemen until they realize they want a man who knows who he is.
Just seems a woman wants a man who ????? until somethin needs fixin.
Also in dangerous or scary situations all that feminist shit goes away n a man that steps up is desired.

Hate if you want, enjoy n have a good time.
Me, I just do not care, I know who I am.
N yes Kathy just rolled her eyes.

Like I've said over n over.
I'm a Redneck n proud of it.
Leave those young men alone, please don't mess up another generation. 

You hate us until you need us n you always end up needing us.
That dirty nasty awful job that nobody wants to do, Yeah We're The Guys Doing It. 
I literally have been covered in poo, I was the only guy standin there when it needed doin.

Signed, Harmless 65yr old man.
We just say stuff, nobody listens so why not.
 

Unrelated, New Topic.
this is about twitter

Like everybody else my goal is more eyeballs/followers on twitter.
But for fun.
I never will understand all the 20something young women that don't take one look at my twitter image n run away screaming.

Right.

lately I've been getting 5 to 8 twitter followers per day.
All but 2 each day are young women?????

< again pic. ?????

Mind you I'm not complaining. I actually like who I am.
N I need the follows.


You just wouldn't think, but hey, me I'm grateful.
The whole point to my daily endeavors is to go out into the internet like a spider web. So thank you, I don't have to understand why, do I.

Some guys hang out with there bud's for there me time or there world.
I go inside my head n create for me time. 

This post has achieved 600 views in under 24hrs for an A+. 

You know a good one when you write it, you can feel it hitting the points.
Yesterday n the day befores posts only got a C+ each.
My Beard Took A Left #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezout... was an A+.  
Yes I grade my posts. I've deleted almost 100 posts that were Fails, because if I want people to come here n read, better have standards. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



 


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Guilt Trip, $19.95. #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Send me $19.95 n relieve your guilt.

What's the magic number, $19.95.
How do you compare happiness n peace of mind to such a small amount of money?
Send me $19.95 n I guarantee you I'll be happier.
Studies show you can afford it.
Otherwise why would pretty much everyone asking us for money pick that exact amount?

Somebody needs to tell you.

Have you noticed how rich folk are asking us for $19.95 a month, the new ok amount of money to ask poor folk for.

Who was it exactly that decided poor folk would pull the lever on $19.95 per month.

2 problems here.
It's rich folk who have guilt about how much they have n are trying to buy peace of mind.

Second. Poor folk do not really have $19.95 to spare each month. To us that's a payment.

Crazy thing is I can think of 3 different commercials where rich spokespersons are asking for $19.95 per month off the top of my head. All good causes. Problem is we do not have $19.95 per month to spare. YOU DO.

Also Celebrities.
Stop encouraging old people to reverse mortgage there homes. Not Cool.

Both of these things really piss me off.

My advice.
Celebrities, stop trying to increase your wealth off the backs of poor n elderly people.
You got issues about your wealth, give your money away. Stop guilting us.
We need what little we have just to keep from calling our cars our homes.
$19.95 per month is real money to us.

That wasn't me. spell check made guilting which no doubt isn't even a word. quilting.

So that's me just making friends left n right. Hey what can I say, I'm just a really friendly guy. Kisses.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



 





Monday, June 12, 2017

Maybe Today? #pezoutlaw #hollywood


Pez Outlaw

Every day I get up, have breakfast n think Maybe Today.
Maybe Today, I get news on Pez Outlaw.
Maybe Today, a deal I've been working on comes through.
Maybe Today, something I write get's the BIG WOW.

Maybe Today, some good news.
I don't lay back n wait for an act of God.
I work toward this possible, in one case over a decade.
On others it's grinding away, one brick at a time.

As I may have mentioned, I'm not the most patient person.
Each day I must tuck my dreams away n deal with reality.
Every day I have to push things out of my mind n deal with what's possible.
Projects go from perfect new to gotta do it for zero.

Compromise, do no harm.
Make do, work with what's on hand.
Get that last little bit out of everything.
Of course Larry's work is better, he get to work with new material.

That's what sucks about your fate being in the hands of others.
Worked in the shop, my fate was in Bob's ability to sell.
Created Pez Misfits, only to have the ideas taken by Pez USA.
Hollywood's interested, my fate is in there final decision.

For now I write, thinking my fate is in my words.
Trying to express the perfect thought.
Shit I don't know.
Yet compelled all the same to do it.

This is the only place I can build without compromise.
I can write to my hearts content n not waste Kathy's money.
Here I can find freedom from the constraints of reality.
My only limits are in my own minds ability to create.

I had that in the real world for a time, but that was taken from me.
I spent two decades slowly building to my potential.
Once there, greed n jealous fueled resentment took it all.
I never regained my momentum once it was stolen. 

With Pez Outlaw my focus now is to let him be every-mans story.
One that the reader can identify with.
The struggle n possible success you can achieve in life.
The heartache of having the boot of the powerful on your neck.

The struggle not to submit.
Fighting back with what remains.
Days without purpose, knowledge that time is running out.
The will to continue in isolation of belief.


numbers reveal the truth.



Hard sometimes = Good. 

I'm actually jealous of Big Fish 
Big Fish  is the first post I've written that reached 1,000 views in just 1 day.
As a "writer" I'm confused.
Why did that work?


I can't help but think with proper packaging n broader presentation the Pez Outlaw story is perfect for our times.
The Pez Outlaw story would easily be related to by that very middle class n poor. 
Those who also find themselves victims of today's new normal.
College degrees without jobs, flipping burgers to get by.

The crush we all felt from the collapse of 2008.
You got college loans, I got $250,000.00 of debt from the college of Pez.
Your pain started in 2008, mine started a decade before that.
Pez Outlaw represents every-man n our desire to achieve the American dream.

Now I wait in the Asylum, self-imposed exile.
Hoping to regain my sanity, a ticket back to reality.
A second chance.
Maybe Today n if not, Maybe Tomorrow?

Wanna know why I like Hap n Leonard.
Not because for 3 weeks they've either been duct taped, tied or handcuffed together.
Not because these 2 guys can't seem to catch a break.
No, because the writer had no formal training, he just decided to write. 

My favorite joke to Kathy for 3 weeks now.
Ole Hap n Leonard aren't doin so good.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



 








Sunday, June 11, 2017

Six-Guns n Groceries #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA


In 1959 I was a very young 8 years old.
Friday night was a very big night.
Dad got paid n brought home groceries.
It was hamburger night.
Huckleberry Hound n Roy Rogers were on TV.
So Fridays were pretty big nights.

Oh yeah n on Friday nights my 4 brothers n I got our allowance of 25cents each.
You might think that 25 cents isn't very much but actually to our thrifty young minds it was a windfall.
On Saturday morning before cartoons we'd walk down to Pete's store n buy our cartoon watching supplies.
I'd usually buy a 16 ounce Nehi, grape, strawberry or orange for 12 or13 cents depending on my mood.
For another dime I'd get a big bag of BBQ potato chips.
With my final few pennies I'd buy grape gumballs at a penny each.

Interesting sidebar about potato chips in 1959. 
Potato chips were a bigger thing in 1959 central Michigan than you might think today.
Distribution chains n supermarket chains just did not exist yet.
I know this because I had an Uncle that distributed Potato chips to the little community stores like Pete's out of a very small warehouse.
My uncle unloaded the semi into his glorified shed then drove the chips around case by case.

Same thing went for Pizza.
Cassanova's was the only restaurant in a 3 mile area that sold Pizza.
Fast Food really didn't exist in 1959.
The way we had pizza was a Chef Boyardee Pizza mix.
You made the dough, then covered it w/pepperoni sauce n sprinkle cheese.

Our cartoon watching supplies in hand, my brothers n I would head back home for our morning of feasting n visual delight.
Cartoons n Westerns till noon before mom turned us out on the world.
Nobody had to watch us because we watched each other.
We tore all over on our used bikes, without a care in the world.

Fessing up, my brothers n I were like a barely trained pack of dogs.
I remember feeling that my grandparents seemed happier to see the Woodcock grandchildren than the Glew boys.
Small wonder, we were loud, we fought a lot, we argued about everything n there were 5 of us.
While i'm being honest I was probably the worst.
I fought, I was opinionated, nobody could tell me anything, I had to learn it for myself.
So of course grandpa n grandma enjoyed the well mannered Woodcocks more.
My brothers n I were true children of the 50s, Ruff n Reddy to go. 
Ruff n Reddy was one of our cartoons.
Ruff n Reddy
N Don't You Forget IT!
 Quick Draw McGraw as El Kabong
Had to include El Kabong. 
Especially when Kathy had forgotten who he was.
You know, El Kabong?

N how do you forget Wally Gator?

My First cartoon show n the one that started my love of cartoons was Huckleberry Hound.
Huckleberry Hounds Circus in black n white.
We didn't see color TV till the mid 1960s.

Sufferin Succotash!
Last but not least Snagglepuss.
I have to admit though I didn't realize Snagglepuss was pink, Black n White TV you know

Another one of my brothers m my charms for innocent bystanders was.
We didn't just watch TV, we relived our favorite TV adventures in real world. 
Running around shooting each other, screaming to mom, "He won't take his deads".
Television was new when we were children n we embraced it with both arms.
Our TV preferences were shoot em ups n cartoons.

Imagine being a parent n the fight you must settle is why one of your children won't take his deads when shot by another of your children.
All I can think now is that I wish I'd taken more time to enjoy how wonderful those days actually were.
I wish I could go back n relive them. 
I could say I'd bring wisdom back with me.
Hell No, I just wanna go back n play again, my brothers n I had fun, I wanna do that again.

I call this one Six-Guns n Groceries because.
The first part explains the groceries.
Six-Guns comes next.

If you don't buy a young boy toy guns to play with on moral grounds, he will just use a stick n call it a gun.
Little boys like to play with toy guns, efforts to stop it are just fighting the current.
Kids play n parents think to much.

I have no idea why but one year on my Birthday Mom bought all five of us boys toy six-guns.
Because it was my Birthday I got to pick first.
I chose the Roy Rogers 2 holster with 2 guns.
I think though my older brother Virgil pulled one on me cause he picked next n got a really cool single swivel holster.
That thing was a beauty, all brown leather no do das.
A really wide belt n lace down.
Thinking back I now know n realize that swivel holster was the best gun set.
Yeah Virgil had snookered me again.

There is a downside though.
That belt to Virgil's cool six-gun hung around longer than the rest.
That belt went on to become the spanking belt.
Before you get all weird, in the 1950's boys got spanked, it's just the way it was.
That belt did disappear after a bit though, what I'd get spanked for doin it.
I did stuff like that, consequences be damned. 

I started a search for a picture of that gun n holster set of Virgil's, as with all interweb searches I ended up God Knows Where.
Voila Jon's Country Burger, Kathy's first job at 14 years old.
Kathy's first jof as a car hop in 1965 or 66.
Unlike Kathy I had a lot of first jobs n got fired from all of them.
Once for a catsup fight that destroyed the Burger King kitchen. 
I got fired from almost every job I had before I met Kathy, including high school n the Marine Corps.

I was destined to meet Kathy.
My dad used to haul trash for a neighbor of hers when I was young.
A friend of mine dated her when I was 15 n 16.
We just kept crossing paths till it took. 

Yes dad used to haul trash beside working in the shop, 5 boys eat a lot.
Trash was 50cents for a 55 gallon barrel in late 1950s, I used to ride along sometimes.
The dump was a really cool place when I was a kid, people threw away all kinds of good stuff. 

Break New Subject or same one if you're me.

OK interweb. search got me nothing. What TV character said "Curses I tell Ya"?
Anybody who wants to play.

Kathy n I both use it a lot.
I know it came from somewhere in our TV upbringing. 

Unlike today when TV is rationed to children.
With Kathy n I, we were raised by TV.
TV was our babysitter.
Just between us I have no shame or problem with this fact.

Not many people know but TV was ready to go just before WW2.
But because of World War 2 it got pushed off till approx 1947.
I was born in 1951 to the wonders of television, I could not get enough of it.

Personally, I like TV still.
I listen to TV News from 11am til 2pm.
After chores I watch TV from 8pm til 2am.
I enjoy TV n have no shame about it.

A couple years ago I watched every episode of Matlock.
I wanted to see what Kathy's Dad's generation was fixated on or Why.
Right now I'm watching every episode of Murder she Wrote, again to see the why of it n the charm.

TV can be like time travel in this regard. 
How it was done say in 1985.
The tempo, casting n visuals of contemporary programing.
Here's an example, there was way more diversity of casting in the 1970s n 80s than now.
Not to mention fashion, cars, architecture n technology (no cell phones).
I also like to watch the character progression, which is why the first episode n season are a particular treat.

It's hysterical to watch folks hunting for a pay phone which are nonexistent today.
Today cell phones, tablets etc are annoyingly everywhere.
If a person has a hand, a cell phone is in it, like it grew there.
It's interesting to watch people function just fine without a cell phone or it's interruptions.

I do not bother with youtube, netflix, amazon or any other internet programing.
I figure if it's any good it should be or would be on TV.
The rest of it is just to complicated. 
Like Chancey Gardener, I just turn on TV n watch. 
Dish network is as far as I'll go, I love DVR.

Truthfully my age should be almost 150.
I've given myself the life experiences of that long in entertainment.
From Hearst era yellow journalism, to Nickelodeon's, Vaudeville, Silent movies, radio, talkies, to Television.
How the early pioneers all found a new life on TV, from Milton Berle, Burns n Allen, Sid Caesar, Jack Benny, Ed Wynn, Groucho, 3 stooges, Gabby Hayes, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry n all the shows on TV that originally used older actors from faded movie careers.
Many who experienced movies, vaudeville, radio, then TV.

When I get into a particular act like the Marx brothers or 3 stooges.
I watch all there movies, TV shows n read every Bio I can find. 
Which usually leads to Vaudeville n radio before TV.

I like to immerse myself in the time n try to experience it as though I were there. 

To maybe, MAYBE be a small part in the history of this would be a treat.

I've found this post particularly satisfying.
Thank You for reading.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary