Sunday, February 19, 2017

Crossroads #pezoutlaw #hollywood

At 66 I find myself at a crossroads in life.
Emotionally I just want to walk away.

The tragedies in your life are not your life's story. 
The dreams you refuse to let die are your life's story.
The isolation of that belief in yourself is your story.
The refusal to surrender your dreams to a reality you reject is your story.

Today while walking behind the lawn mower, this is the conversation I had with myself.
Do poor n middle class folks face different moral decisions than White collar n rich.
Do some of us not have the luxury of high moral standards?

This came up because I was imagining being interviewed by a reporter for the movie about Pez Outlaw that saw my behavior in a dim light.
I'd have no problem with his view, but what would be my answer.
I arrived at the previous statement.

It was once said to me that "This could have been so much easier".
I can see how that might or would be true with anyone else.
Is it even possible for something to happen differently than it did.
People are complicated, many factors influence the path we must walk. 
With others I'm sure this could've been easier.
If Pez Outlaw were/was other people though you'd never have asked.

Opening shot.
10yr old boy being dragged by a teacher to the classroom closet.
The boy is pushed into darkness n the door is closed.
A light comes on n it's that same boy in a 4ftx4ft cell (the Hole) in a county jail.
Sudden violent turbulence n the passenger on a tiny plane flying from Austria to Slovenia wakes up wondering what had led him to that moment in time.

The in between is a composite of the adventures of Pez Outlaw, his rise n fall.
Followed by the 2 decades of struggle to get Pez outlaw made into a movie.
The story is the struggle, the belief of a person in themselves.
3 decades of belief.

Closing Shot.
Camera to the back of an old man in the dark watching a lit stage of a movie about his life being made.

Kathy said that she was glad to hear that I didn't feel the need to share everything I thought n that to her surprise there was a filter between my mind n my mouth.

Let me smack that filter, it might be on the Fritz. 
This was an entirely different post which I deleted.
It's not that I now disagree with what I said.
If anything I feel even stronger on the subject.
I removed the post because I felt I was having that conversation a bit to soon.
Barring a miracle we will have that conversation later.
For now let's just say I'm disappointment.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

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