Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Commie Pinko #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

It seems an explanation is in order. 
Kathy says nobody understands my intent.
This post is meant in humor, it's meant as a display of lunacy. 

Forgive me, I think it's ridiculously funny.
And I'm still getting stares, OK Dark humor then.
This was my childhood.

We actually did the "Duck n Cover Drills".
People actually had fallout shelters when I was a child.
This is not a political statement.

I don't do politics, There Big Boys n Girls, they can handle there own shit.
If they can't, then they have no business being there.
I'm not going to lose family or friends fighting for them.

Stop The Presses though for a good Commie Pinko Red Scare.
My childhood demands I stop my life, my dreams n my goals n get on board.
Plus it's FUN.

I have always loved the slur, Commie Pinko. Nothing is more fun than calling a friend a Commie Pinko for some very small disagreement or indiscretion.
It just cracks me up. 

Had it not been for Americas favorite Knucklehead Wildman Joe McCarthy we would not have this affectionate moniker for a dear friend who has strayed.

That's it. Short n sweet.
Purity in brevity. 

Oh yeah, sorry almost forgot.
I want to apologize to any Commie Pinko's my remarks might have offended.
Commie Pinko's are kinda touchy bout that name. OOPs did it again. Sorry, sorry.

Where's Waldo?

My childhood, Readers Digest version.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

FREAK SHOW #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Step right up..................
Cease fool, you already did that.

FREAK SHOW! 1 thin dime

The Rest Of The Story

The other night I watched a really interesting documentary about Frank Zappa.
For all the far out behavior, he started out clean cut on a Steve Allen show n ended adapting his work to Symphony Orchestras in Europe.

Zappa like Pez Outlaw was very popular in Eastern Europe.
Zappa Czechoslovakia, Pez Outlaw Slovakia.
What's the attraction of Freaks to old Eastern Block countries.

I say Freaks for the following reason.
Zappa in the documentary pointed out that he'd always been a Freak never a Hippie.
I remember that distinction, many of us made it with pride in the 1960s. 

The particular group I ran with also made that distinction, we were Freaks not Hippies.
Freaks were the Hippies that could think or were more outside the box.
Believe it or not Hippies were conformists that spouted a uniform philosophy n even had a Hippie uniform.

Hippies, Peace, Love you man etc.
Hippies spouted n played by the script.
Freaks were screw you n screw your concept of the world.
Freaks wanted to find a different path or in Zappa's case, tell a new n different story.

Did we succeed, For most of us no.
Zappa succeeded in his quest to tell a unique story.
Zappa's body of work speaks for itself.
You don't have to like Zappa's music to know it was great anymore than you do with say Miles Davis.
Pez Outlaw, time will tell, the end is yet to be written.

As Pez Outlaw I lived a unique life n now am attempting to tell a unique story through Pez outlaw Diary n Notes From The Asylum.
I took the world as I found it and hunted for every loophole I could find.
My Pez Outlaw years were nothing more than exploiting a loophole in the systems structure created by Pez Corporation.

Now as the biographer of Pez Outlaw's life I'm again exploiting a loophole.
If you write the history when no one else will, then you write what becomes the History of that time. 
Pez Outlaw Diary is the record of what happened.
Notes From The Asylum is the peak behind the curtain into the mind of Pez Outlaw.

I write Notes From The Asylum with an eye to Frank Zappa n Andy Warhol.
Both are kinda my Heroes.
I don't have to get or understand everything they did to appreciate the body of the accomplishment.

Zappa once said that the body of his work was one continuous story not a group of fragments.
To me both Zappa n Warhols work should be viewed as a body of work not in pieces.
In the same vain that life is a long act of performance art I include Pez Outlaw.
If you want to say to a lesser extent, I will live with that.
Though like I said, The end of the Pez Outlaw story is not written yet, there are many players including myself still writing it.

1967 was a very important year in my young life.
I turned 16 n these 2 albums were released that year n helped shape the direction of my life.
Sgt. Pepper by the Beatles n Absolutely Free by Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention.

1967 was also probably my last year of innocence.
16 was approx the year my demons arrived.
the next 40yrs were going to be my trial by fire.

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.


Pez Outlaw Diary

1st Known Photo of Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood

1951, The Arrival of Pez Outlaw.
Yeah, that was me back in 47, oops.
pez outlaw
My 1st n earliest memory as a child was being in a fever state.
My whole body felt like it was wrenching.
Almost like a rejection of this existence.

I've tried to go back n make sense of it, but I can't. 
I've always wondered if the first n last moments of life are somehow connected.
Like a bridge in time.
To this day the memory is vivid.
I've never told anyone about that, not even Kathy.
Sorta fitting that I told it here in the Asylum first.

Do you want to know something that'll give you a reality check?
Explaining this post to Kathy, I said out of deference.
Fugue state you know how bipolar people get, like it didn't include me.

I got a really blank stare. 
Perception of my reality took a hit.
Honey I don't get that way? answer, sometimes. 

I just don't know what to do with that.
How you see yourself, is not how others see you.
I'm not medicated or under a doctors care, but I guess I am indulged/tolerated.

Collision of Thought

Father to Son.
The Cat Lady is on her 3rd home. 
Words become orphans.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

I've heard of restless leg
Heard of restless hand, Superior Donuts
Is Restless Brain a thing?
Cause I think I got it.

I prayed for CAKE last night.
Got up n there was CAKE.
Pretty quick turn around on a prayer.
It usually doesn't work like that.

Do I Keep fiddling with it?
Gender insecurity aside.
Is it possible to seem more crazy?
Let's test that.

When at a crossroad.
Do you let your mind come out n play?
There is no point.
Which is not the point.

I'm standing on the 3rd story ledge.
Waiting for news that talks me down.
Roller coasters n Airports.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

Thank You
I appreciate that question
I hoped someone would ask me about that
Next question

Anxiety doesn't change anything.
Then again, I had a cool pic.
Also had a good title.
So, I write the words.

In a recent conversation Big words was the topic.
To use or not to use Big words, THAT is the question.

My official stance on the use of Big words is, ehhh whatever.
The words you use to make a point should be precise, understandable n get to the dirt.

You can talk for 10 minutes n say nothing.
Or, you can use a few sentences n get right there.

Of course I'm not one to talk because I talk in circles n use riddles.
That's my job though, to expound on the notions that drift through my mind.

There is no script, just find the manner that suits you.
To the point, speak in a manner that makes you comfortable. 

I find myself using my fathers voice more n more.
A natural drift to where I came from.

My writing structure is made up.
I'm told my grammar is poor.

Hell I make up words as it suits me.
Find your voice, convey the thought, keep it simple.

Words will not ingratiate you with fancy folks.
Let your thoughts stand for you in judgement.

We live in fear of judgement.
I prefer to present my thoughts unhindered by self image.

Since the age of 5, I haven't given a tinkers damn what anybody thought of me. 
Obsessing over will they like me sabotages any shot at finding out who you are.

That's not to say I liked myself, because I did not.
I've only begun to like myself in the last decade.

My journey has been n is a quest for change.
I strive every day to be a better person.

Present your mind to people.
Your appearance will betray you.

Your mind, purity of thought.
That's where you make your stand.

Look at me, you see some old shit kicker.
Listen to me, I hope you get a different take.

One truth is not in my hands.
Your perception is yours n I can't change it.

Circles n Puzzles.
I warned ya.

I really like the idea that Pez Outlaw traveled here from another dimension.
The transition from his world to this was just to much n Pez Outlaw ended up in the Asylum he writes to you from now. 

I can tell you one thing for sure.
If I still had my spaceship n could go back in time n change just 1 thing.
I'd go back to 1998 n never buy the Pez Outlaw collection.
641 Pez Outlaw Collection
courtesy of  Phyllis Shafer Oreck

$250,000.00 on new original design product, color variations, crystals n glow in the dark Pez.
$250,000.00 on old stock to qualify for previous sentence.

The biggest mistake bar none I made in this lifetime was to try n go legit by buying 1/2 million dollars of Pez From Pez Corporation in 1998.
So yes if I could go back in time, I'd never have done that.
Of course that would also mean that the Pez Hobby would never have seen Crystals or Glow in the Dark pez.
It would also mean that Scott McWhinnie would not have been forced into retirement.

I smuggled 2 million Pez this way n that into the USA.  
Over an 11 year period I earned 4.5 million dollars.
At the end of that I lost 1/2 million dollars.
We walked away from those years $250,000.00 in debt.

It's been almost 18 years since I received the news that changed the direction of my life.
The previous 47 years of my life had been a very slow crawl of forward momentum that peaked in a rapid decade of the 1990s.
The 1990s were the happiest time of my life, all my worries vanished for a decade.

The story of How much n why Scott McWhinnie hated Pez Outlaw (me) is by now well known within the Pez Collecting community.
Kathy said You really couldn't have changed what happened. 
My answer was, My biggest regret is deciding to buy that 1/2 million dollars worth of Pez Product.
I just never should have done it.

I've never been the type of person that things came to easily.
As a matter of fact my ability to fit into what is "Normal" has always been a challenge.
Despite that I found my path.

It took me 25 years to get to the point in 1994 that I was ready to make my move.
Finally I had scraped together a few thousand dollars to begin my journey.
The next 4 years flew by at light speed, as I traveled the world buying Pez.
I had finally caught the wave.

Everything was built on the momentum of the previous success.
Flea markets, Good Will stores, Collectibles of every description, McDonalds premiums, cereal premiums and finally Pez.
Every success rolled into the next, all building to the decisions of 1998.

In 1998 I remortgaged my home ($125,000.00) and took out an additional line of credit loan for $125,000.00.
I put that borrowed $250,000.00 plus another $250,000.00 of earnings in 1998 on the biggest play I had ever made.
I made my play, a half million dollars pushed into the middle of the table.

In late 1998 I lost and sj glew died.
Everything I had worked a lifetime for ended.
Like I said my path in life has not been an easy fit.

Yes I earned 4.5 million dollars in 11 years on a $4,000.00 investment, but in the end I lost $250,000.00 on a half million dollar investment that should have yielded a million, minimum.

The question then became, when you have lost almost everything what's your next move.
All material resources gone, what's left to draw on.
It was at that low point that I realized the one asset, I still had my mind.

Over the next decade I used it along with the new tool of the internet to write my story.
The process has been very slow, 15 years now.
The goal to sell the Pez Outlaw story as a book and a movie.

I can say this much as to the progress of that dream.
Having your story optioned does not guarantee that the movie will actually be made.
So I continue working.

That day in 1998 when sj glew and all his dreams died, that was the day Pez Outlaw was born.
A thought just crept into my mind. I wonder what the reaction would be if I showed up at Pez USA headquarters or the Offices in Austria?
Would I be welcomed as an old Friend?

You'd think that the person that made Pez international millions would indeed have the red carpet rolled out for him.
I say made them millions in this context, Bubble Boy, Color variations, Glow in the dark n crystal's.
All these ideas originated by Pez Outlaw n did not existed until I conceived n introduced them. 

So my guess is Pez Corp would welcome me (Pez Outlaw) with open arm.
Hell, I bet Pez Corp would throw a banquet in my honor if I showed up at there door.
I'd be all, gosh folks you don't have to create a special Pez Dispenser to commemorate my contribution to Pez.

N they Pez Corp would be.
But you are so awesome, we pale historically in the presence of Pez Outlaw.
Aw shucks, it was nothin.

After Pez Outlaw conceived n launched colors, glow n crystals Pez Corp sold millions of them.
Being a humble person I've stayed in the shadows n let Pez Corp run with my ball.
There success with my ideas is payment enough.
It's like watching all your children do well.

But Hey n Oh Shucks, if you want to create a special pez dispenser to commemorate the Pez Outlaw contribution to Pez.
I suppose that'd be OK.
After all, It's For The Children.

Jeez Oh Pete's, So much Fuss.
Thank You.
Pez Outlaw. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Buy Me A Boat #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

So I can cut it up? 

Well there at it again.
They just keep cutting up perfectly good boats.
Just this morning I heard a new one for Flex Tape.
You guessed it, they cut a boat in half n taped it together with Flex Tape.
Then they put the boat on the water to show how good there Flex Tape is.

If I hadn't written this 3 months ago, I'd have written it again today.
So I re-posted it.

It struck me last night that there seems to be an odd fetish with boats n $19.95 TV products.

Who was it that decided the most effective way to prove something involved a boat.
Is it like, well we will use a boat to establish hands down no rebuttal that our product is the best.

Is it a fear of water thing? Use a boat, show them that we got there backs.

You've got the infamous TV commercial where they cut the bottom out of a boat n  put a screen door in it. OK that's crazy, I like it. Then you spray the screen door with the product n show a guy on a lake, Safe as Houses. Ok a truth in my rant. I was surprised to hear that this same spray "rubber" was being used to protect houses in flooding areas. Kinda cool.

Under the category of. Well it worked for them.
Now you have the glue that can bond "anything". That only hardens after you shine a UV light or something on it. Well you guessed it, out comes a boat, but this time they cut the boat in half.
Use the glue to put it back together n there's that guy on the lake again.
I feel safer already.

It truly is amazing what you can buy on TV for $19.95. But wait, call now n we will double your order. You get Two.
Crazy thing is, I want both of them.

I have to admit that I really like these TV Commercials, maybe more than is healthy.

Money may not buy happiness but it will buy me a boat. Then, good little redneck that I am, I'm gonna cut it in half and put a screen door in the bottom of it. Cause I sure do love those commercials.

If they make a movie out of the Pez Outlaw story.
First three things I'm buying with my millions. (inside Joke. I'd probably clear $35,000)
1. A case of that spray stuff, Lying 2 cases.
2. A bunch of that UV light magic glue.
3. 5 years worth of survival food.
OK there's a 4 n 5.
4. A generac propane generator.
5. Wind n solar methods of producing electricity.

That's after I pay all debts.
You see my hit in 1998/Pez was like the rest of the US's hit in 2008.
I just got hit a decade ahead of you all.
It changed me like 2008 changed you.
My goal is to be self sufficient.

Wanna know a secret? I really don't care how good these posts are, it tickles me to write them.
New Redneck Survival Kit.
Meals Ready To Eat, Duct Tape, Zip Ties, Rubbery Spray and UV Light Glue.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, May 29, 2017

I Humbly Submit #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Like you have a clue about being humble.

Americans are angry. Oh pushaw. 
No way, tell me it ain't so.

So what are or who are Americans angry at?
Government, what else is new?
Big corporations n the extremely rich. 
OK lets play with that one.

You knew this was probably gonna be about Pez Outlaw, Didn't ya.
I feel that the Pez Outlaw story is a perfect fit to the times n public sentiment.
After all Pez Outlaw is about an individual taking on a major International Corporation.
Pez outlaw is about the American dream, having an idea n pushing it to success.
Pez Outlaw is about Earning each dollar one by one not having wealth handed to you or earning 300 times your employees.
Pez Outlaw is about refusing to knuckle under to powerful forces.
Pez Outlaw is about Fighting n never giving up.

People are angry at Big Corporations, Why not give them a story that encapsulates that anger n fight?
Pez Outlaw is a story of it's time that everybody will be able to relate to.
When people watch Pez Outlaw on the big screen they will be rooting for him to win.

I've always felt that a lot of movies n TV shows fail because your customers, the viewers don't like, care or empathize with your character.
People are going to like Pez Outlaw, they are going to be entertained by his adventure.
People will respect his fight.

Add to that that Pez Outlaw is a quirky nutty, some would say crazy guy.
Honestly I do not see how the Pez Outlaw story could miss in today's mood.
I've been working for 15 years, for just this moment in time.
My chance to tell the Pez Outlaw story to America.

To me this is the story of a very average middle class person who tried to achieve the American dream. 
I finally figured out how to say this.
Yes I earned 4.5 million dollars in 11 years on a $4,000.00 investment, but in the end I lost $250,000.00 on a half million dollar investment that should have yielded a million, minimum.
I almost lost everything including my home.
The way back was 15 long years.
Here's the thing.
I once heard that you should be careful about the enemies you make because you will most likely see them again on your way down. I made enemies in my journey but Scott McWhinnie was the biggest. 

Scott McWhinnie was the President of Pez USA in the 1990s n he hated me with every fiber of his being.
Scott hated me so much that he matched my bet.
1 million dollars now on the table Scott McWhinnie raise my bet with his Presidency.
When our cards were laid on the table, we both lost. 
Our little game had made Scott vulnerable n he had enemies also.

How does one little farmer from Michigan create so much very personal hatred from a BIG CORPORATION?
Well boys n girls that's precisely our story.
The fight that unfolded over the next 3 years between the farmer n the President of Pez Corporation is our story.
The 15 years of work n refusing to give up that followed that fight is our story. 
Pez Outlaw, Pez Outlaw Diary n Notes From The Asylum is our story.
Jeff's Pez Outlaw story in April 2015 Playboy is our story.
Hollywoods interest in the Pez Outlaw is our story.

This is a truly American story, one that the American people have been waiting for.
Pez Outlaw is a story of n for our time.

Thank you for reading.
Pez Outlaw

If you are a book publisher n you've been amused by Notes From The Asylum, don't worry I've got a real writer Jeff Maysh ready to go. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, May 28, 2017

The Booby Hatch #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I play with crazy daily, because it amuses me.
Metaphorically I wait in my padded room wearing this years most fashionable straight jacket.

I wait for word on the next chapter of my life.

I wait for the words that announce the beginning, that in turn creates the interest in the thing that leads to what an average nobody could never dream of as there reality.

Again I'm asked, Are you ready for what's coming. Pardon my French but hell yes I'm ready. I've been waiting ten years, of course I'm ready. Can we please finally just do this thing.

Life is absurd.
I've traveled the world.
I've literally earned over 4.5 million in a decade.
Then returned to poverty.

I've Spent the last decade hatching my revenge on the absurdity of Life.

I've been famous in my own little world. I know the mistakes I made. I'm ready for my closeup CB.

Until that day I wait in my mental cell here in the Asylum passing notes under the door with no idea if there's just a pile of notes on the other side or if they are being picked up n read.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, May 27, 2017

That's my story n I'm stickin to it. #hollywood #pezoutlaw #NFTA

Brain Freeze is a real thing.
You try scratching an itch while in a straight jacket.

I love living in the country.
I can't imagine buying my water or paying for a sewer from the city.
The real reason I rarely leave my property is that everything I want is right here.

For the first 18yrs of my life I lived in Lansing with houses one on top of the other.
Every time you turned around you had to deal with somebody n there particular issue.
Here in the country I keep to myself n so do my neighbors.

I like the peace n quiet, though over the last 40yrs things have gotten busier.
Traffic is busier, probably a half dozen cars go by per hour.
More city folk live out here now.

City folk in the country are people who bring city thinking into the country.
They get all wound up about there lawns.
I grow quack grass/whatever grows is my lawn.

Dogs poop on my lawn n horses walk on it.
The city folk that live out here now have a fit if that happens on there's.
Moriah actually had to go over to the neighbors n pick up Milo's poop.

N heaven forbid a horse gets loose n walks on there lawn.
One neighbor actually had to give another a couple hundred bucks so he'd quit bitching about the horse that walked on his lawn.
Seriously, What the hell.  #WildHorsePosse

Times change though n nothing stays the same.
Just wish I owned 2 or 3 x the acreage that I do.
The more I could keep others away, the happier I'd be.

Told the kids, I'd love to buy both of the neighbors houses n just knock them down, turn it back to pasture.
Billionaire's, What would you do if?
Buy the hundred acres in front of me behind me n to the left n right of me.

All that though is just stuff, I love it out here.
The real bitch are the winters.
Weather in the teens n the wind whipping up the hill.

It's great when I'm in the warehouse or the Arena.
Unfortunately I have to be out in it about 4-5hrs per day.
This comes up because you guessed it, temp is in the teens n the wind is goin pretty good n it's time to get out there to do chores. 

Taking a break after 2.5hrs
Wind gusts 25mph n snowing til 4am. 
4 more inches expected.

Break over.
Oh yah n wind chill 2 degrees.

Weather in the teens.
Outside over 8hrs doin hay.

n repeat.

We're having a heat wave, the porchometer says 21 degrees.
About the Porchometer.
Southern exposure n house + addition block the wind.
So the Porchometer is kinda a feel good optimistic reflection of the true temp.
Me I'll take it, good news is good news even if it is fake news.
Lah, lah, lah, can't hear you.
don't wanna hear the real Temp 

So told Kathy n she promptly said it's 15 degrees out.
Aw Man. I said I didn't wanna know. 
Brain Freeze
Kathy said it's not a real thing.
Well, That's my story n I'm stickin to it.

After 5hrs outside yesterday temp in low teens I got Brain Freeze.
The processor in my head began to malfunction. 
Made a poor decision with ramifications.

Couldn't understand words spoken to me, had to concentrate. 
That's somewhat normal cause I do not listen to people.
Once yesterday though I was listening, Wah Wah Wah, no comprehension.

OK unbelievers, What happens when you freeze to death?
Your brain goes to sleep.
Argument over, I win. 

Brain Freeze is a real thing.

5 inches of snow, more coming tonight
gotta go. tractor, plow, drive, hrs.
my guess same thing tomorrow

took 5 hrs to clear the snow from Friday nights storm


I wanted to write a post about Global Warming today.
I was told by the people that run the Asylum that I should not.
Seems unfair, because we're in the middle of a Polar Vortex. 
Temps in the lower teens, wind chills in single digits.
All that n the staff here at the Asylum will not let me RANT about Global Warming. 
The good News, it's Jello day.

Irony is, this post was supposed to die in a few days.
Instead, it will have 1,000 views in 1 week.
It had a pretty rocky start.
Shows ta Go ya.
Other stuff

The boredom of each day feels like being on a runaway train going 100 mph.
You want to slow it down but can't no matter how hard you try. 
The points of reflection are when I get in bed n when I get up.
2yrs. 18yrs. 65yrs. That moment was yesterday.

Ebay keeps sending me all kinds of messages.
It's the cyber version of junk mail.
Delete, Delete, Delete.

I need to correct a misconception.
I'm an Anarchist. 
Not like the Anarchist youth you see in the streets behaving violently.
My Anarchy is simple, You say Yes, I say NO!
Whatever the conventional Wisdom is, I take the opposing view with passion n dedication.
Yah Yah Yah Contrarian Blah Blah Blah.

Picking n Scratching, we are at our Primordial Best.
Instinctively nothing is more deeply encoded in our DNA.

HOOEY! Yup n it cost you nothing. 
Sometimes it just feels good to take a self-righteous stand on a self proclaimed statement of fact. 

Proclamations n Defiant Statements are fun, they feel good.
It's like with one sweeping statement you fixed something. 

Truth is it's just dirty laundry.
Next day comes the verbal hangover.

Last night a TV show Host commented on Wet Wipes, indicating I raise this not for me but a friend of mine.
He was kidding I know, but that aside aren't wet wipes/butt wipes for everybody that actually wants to be clean.

The acceptance of butt wipes for adult use was a defining moment in my life.
Being obsessive, prior to butt wipes I used way to much TP n never was satisfied with my cleanliness.

Pre butt wipes was like the Darkages in personal hygiene.
I for one don't understand any reluctance by adults on this subject. 

Brent Johnson I'll chime in on this and will also attach an article. Butt wipes are the enemy of wastewater treatment plants, major cause of sanitary sewer overflows, and are quite misleading to the consumer. Yes, they are flushable which makes the average consumer think it's ok when it's not. Yes they flush but they do not break down. Like dental floss. You can flush it and it remains a solid. A credit card will also flush, it remains a solid. I worked in the wastewater industry for a long time, was injured in the industry, and forced to retire due to said injuries and surgeries. To anyone reading this: Please don't flush if connected to city sewer, just like feminine hygiene products. If you're on septic, do what you want since it's yours to maintain. End of rant.

Steve Glew
Steve Glew  how I would never be on public sewer or water n will always have my own is a whole other rant.
Brent Johnson Perhaps a new topic to rant about?
Steve Glew
Steve Glew I never buy bottled water but I do take pop bottles filled with my well water everywhere I go.

I wouldn't like being connected to a public sewer because I would hate to be judged by 

Last nights local news reported some folks here in Michigan are paying the equivalent of a car or house payment for city water.

Yesterdays post here was a bit to honest so all but a tiny bit is now gone.
Surprisingly even in it's original form it hit the minimum of  300+ views.

Original Post, What's left of it anyway.

Dude, you're gonna give yourself an Ulcer.
Wait a minute, I thought everybody had one.

You carry things around with you each day.
Pushing down the things you shouldn't think about or talk about.
Then each day around 4pm your stomack starts hurting.
This crazy shit is real not an amusing persona. 
One day you're good n in a few days hounded by Demons

Sometimes as hard as it is, you just have to walk away.
Shovel as much dirt as you can on it.
Just close your eyes n do what you do. 

Buy something on ebay, buy the Old Man a bale of Hay.
#hollywood #buytheoldmanabaleofhay
Christmas is not my favorite time of year.
I've been thinking about it lately.
I think this is based on a feeling of inadequacy.
The relentless barrage of Christmas songs, just a painful reminder.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

I wish I could make the head on my new image ratchet left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.



Friday, May 26, 2017

Grab Your Tin Foil Hat #timetraveler #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA



Last night I got to thinking about this post.
2 problems came up.
1. If I went back to 1976, I'd have to ask Kathy where I worked.
You see during this time period I moved around within my trade a bit.

2. I just could not bare working in the shop again.
So the realistic solution would be to just go back to 1998.
Once there I would cancel all plans to create n buy the Misfit Pez From Pez Corporation. 
I would take the $250,000 cash on hand n build the Horse Arena 12 years earlier.

Avoiding near bankruptcy n 18 years in the wilderness.
The restoration of almost 18 years would be enough.
Regrettably if I went back in time n changed the last 18 years, we would not be here talking today. 
I would though happily make that trade.

The premise is this.
Say it was possible to travel back in time to a younger you but with the experience you have now.
So my 65 year old brain would be in my 19 year old body in 1970.
This would lead to many dilemmas.

First off I don't give a shit about all the rules of time travel argued on Dr Who n Big Bang Theory.
Throw them out from the git, if I'm gonna do this, my rules.
So my thoughts here will not be constrained by "agreed upon rules of time travel".
My dilemmas will all be personal.

The thought of time traveling back to a younger me crosses my mind a lot.
I'd love the chance to live my life better.
One, I was a very angry trouble young man.
I'd love to share that part of my life as a better person.

Would I go back to my early teens n be a better student n not drop out of High school?
Would I go back to the day I met Kathy n be a better man from day one?
Would I go back to 1998 n not buy the 1/2 million in Pez from Pez Corporation?
To me, these are my choices.

Teenager no way in hell, plus I'd have to wait to long to meet Kathy.
Although I do run some of the conversations I'd have with my mother.
If I went back in time there are 2 people who'd believe me my mother n Kathy.
Other'n that being a teenager again, Hell No.

To short a time.
Only impacting one pivotal point seems a waste.
Plus Kathy deserves more.

The old switcheroo.
Not the day I met Kathy but after Moriah was born.
Those first years good n bad are to key to who we are n the longevity of our relationship.
Plus I would do nothing that might alter my family.

So we get to the conversation.
Kathy gets home from the hospital after having Moriah n I tell her that I'm from the future.
Honestly, I think I could get her to believe me, because for one she's not stupid.
The difference in the brain of the person that was standing before her would be like night n day.

Once Kathy was on board we'd slowly start the changes.
I wouldn't tell anyone else.
Though I would tell Virgil to keep his eyes out for Microsoft n Apple.
Virgil liked stocks.

The changes.
We had goats, pigs, chickens, rabbits, sheep n a few cows.
All gone or never entered into.
Get Kathy to Horses STAT.

Kathy's knowledge n joy of horses is now n would have been back then if I could do a do over, Key to our lives.
All the money we wasted in other directions would be put into building a Horse Arenas as soon as possible.
I would support all her dreams n quests for knowledge. 
On this she was especially right, plus it gives her joy.

We had sight hounds n about every other breed.
Skip all that n get Mastiffs n a Dachshund. 
Save a lot of unnecessary aggravation.

Ok that taken care of we get to me, the shop n my obsessions.
I'd leave the shop as soon as I could but not as soon as I'd most likely like. 
In this go round I left the shop in 1994.
This would be the worst part, having to go back n work in the shop for even 1 more day.

My obsessions.
I bought everything from comics, 78 records, toys, McDonalds, etc.
Skip it all.
All roads led to Pez, so get to it right away.

If I'd just bought $10 a week of current Pez starting in 1975, we'd have gotten to the point quicker.
1994 was the start date is 15 years x 52 weeks x $10 a week = $7,800 worth of pez to launch things.
By then Kathy's Horse world would already be a key player.
So the pez thing could be just another player.

4 years later In 1998.
instead of spending 3/4 of a million on pez, 1/2 million specifically on Misfits etc.
1/2 million was debt n earnings from buy leaving 1/4 million for Kathy's Horse projects.
Buildings, equipment, driveways etc. Like I will now if they make the Pez Outlaw movie.

Other than that.
Kathy would have had a more loving, stable n supportive partner for 20 more years of our lives together. 
That would be the best part.

You ask people, If you could go back in time n change anything, would you?
The noble answer is always, not a thing.
What Bull shit.
I'd change a hell of a lot.

Kathy really didn't wanna hear this.
Fare enough.
Kathy said Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. 
No way, this is the topic today.

Think of it this way.
You could be watching a kitten play with string.
Or I could write this n you read it.
Probably equal wastes of time.

I write about what plagues my mind.
By writing it, I purge it. 
Freeing my mind to meander forth.
AH, sweet freedom.

Kathy said "What's the deal with Zombies"?
I told her that they're funny. OH!
Hap n Leonard still not doin so good.
Bones in the crawl space? 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Incident at the Asylum #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Yesterday an incident occurred, that I would like to apologize for on behalf of the staff n management of Notes From The Asylum.
I'm not going to name names, Skuttlebut LaBelle, but I'm very disappointed.
Yes, we are considering management changes at the top.
We were about to celebrate that my Tweets have earned 95,793 impressions over the last 28 days. That's when a troll came out of the darkness n grabbed the keyboard. It almost destroyed everything we had worked so hard for.
The incident report.
Witness #1. Ice cream. I was in charge of ice cream. We were gonna celebrate a very big day.

Witness #2. Cake. I was in charge of cake. All I remember is that laugh. It was maniacal, I'll never forget it.

Witness #3. I didn't see anything just heard how horrible it was later.

Skuttlebut LaBelle, This is a frame job by Pez Outlaw. He never wanted or supported me as editor in chief of Notes From The Asylum. I refuse to resign, he'll have to fire me if he wants to get rid of me.

management is keeping a tight eye on Skuttlebut LaBelle. There will be no repeats of yesterdays cock-up.

I know I make a big deal about these #, but to me they are a big deal. I've been working a decade for these kinds of #s

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

MOE-RON #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I wish I could make that even bigger.

I love that country song that says money won't buy me happiness but it will buy me a truck.
OK he says boat first.
I love that song.

This was a postscript on another post but I decided that I had an opinion on it.

The wisdom of the masses is supposed to be that "money won't buy you happiness".
I guarantee you though that lack of money will give you no end of unhappiness.

I honestly believe that rich folk came up with that bit of moron (pronounced MOE-RON) to try to keep the huddled masses pacified.
We are told to seek internal wisdom n peace while rich folk seek what little money we have.

Can't have poor folk storming the walls of rich folks castles.

I've been poor, matter of fact twice now. In between I had money.
Let me tell you I was a damn sight happier with money to pay my bills than I am without.

I think rich folk are trying to reason with the poor on a philosophical level.
Granted the thought is enlightened but if you can't pay your bills, it makes you miserable. Sometimes physically ill.

I'm also tired of very rich people on both sides of the isle who run for political office pretending that they could possibly have any real idea what being poor actually feels like.

So you know, Shut The F**k Up. Will ya please.
cause, money won't buy me happiness but it will buy me a truck.

I told you, I can have an opinion.

Hey maybe I should write greeting cards.
I see a prosperous future.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Machiavellian #pezoutlaw #hollywood

When I was a child all was well hidden. I long for the days of ignorance.

Today we are told what we see playing out before our very eyes is actually an illusion.

At first blush we think, oh how cool n refreshing, then we are made privy to the Machiavellian reasons behind it.

Personally I preferred ignorance, enlightenment is so disillusioning.

I wish this was about just one thing but it seems to be happening over n over, the norm.

What is the world coming to when reality is a fictitious play.

The care to detail n complexity of the deceit that is passing as reality is frightening.

I always knew I did not know what was going on behind the curtain, now though the play is being put on in public.

Innocence was bliss.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, May 22, 2017

What's My True Role? #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

My blog posts have received well over 1 million views.
People are actually reading my posts.
Who Knew.

I had no idea people were actually reading the posts.I thought maybe, come for a giggle then move on kinda thing.

This presents a dilemma. 

I asked for talking points?
If I had an idea of where it's going, it sure would be easier to stay on script.

Do I need to be more careful about certain subjects Like Politics?
One of my biggest beefs about Movie Stars n Singing artists is when they start telling regular folks what they should think or how they should live there lives.

Movie Stars n Singers are Big Fish in Big Ponds.
Pez Outlaw is for now a small fish in a small pond.
The same question remains, "What's My True Role"?

Has Pez Outlaw here in the Asylum reached the point where he needs to heed his own advice?
Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush, Obama and Trump.
These are the presidents of my time so far here on Earth.

I give you the list to show perspective.
Politicians Come, Politicians go, the human condition n struggle continues.
Which is my answer.

My job here at the Asylum is to comment on the struggle of life itself not the Politics. 
That's your business not mine, there's a curtain on that booth for a reason.
So best I can I'm gonna leave all that Polaticy Stuff to the Paid Professionals. 

I'm gonna stick to what I know.
What Crazy People Think about Life n trying to live it day to day.

I have a grandson who is cursed with my brain type.
I told him that it will be a challenge ( I was flunked in 2nd grade, had to repeat it n put in the "SLOW" kids class in 9th grade, in both cases for being a poor reader. Dyslexia ) but this unique brain we share is also the key.
Most people view life in pretty much the same way, we offer a unique perspective n point of view.

On TV you're always hearing, "think outside the box".
My grandson n I live outside that box, shit we couldn't get in that box with a hall pass.
We look like you n sound like you because we work very hard at it, but in our minds we live completely outside that box.

Our challenge is to bring interesting things to the window for you to view.
I walk on that delicate line of crazy without so far falling off.
It's actually a very blessed place to be, if you view it right.

One of my jobs is to show my grandson the good of what he n I share n not to accept other folks views of it.
I need to teach him the internal strength of conviction required to believe in yourself when you are a crowd of one.
My grandson needs to learn to embrace his inner self n view it as his strength not the weakness others try to brand it.

I am a Crazy Person, I embrace it n I own it.
I hope that there is a Pez Outlaw Movie, because it would be a win n a validation of Crazy People hiding among you.

Which part of Crazy Did You Not Understand?
Party of One, Your Table Is ready. 
I am Pez Outlaw, The Asylum is my home.

I love the Asylum, I find myself spending more n more time here. It soothes the beast. The Asylum has been hitting  5, 6 n 700 views per day over the last week or so.
I suppose that's because, if you enjoy something, others can see it.

I wish I understood how this # thing works.
Don't bother trying to explain it to me. Several already have, my eyes just got glassy n all I heard was mwwwa mwwwa # mwwwwa mwwwa. To Old, don't get it. probably never will.

Jeff, I guess you could say I checked myself into the Asylum while I wait.

Crapp, just noticed that #asylum and #theasylum are taken. I had to change it to #notesfromtheasylum
Yes, I spell crapp with 2 p's. I just think crapp should have 2 p's.
Like I've mentioned sometimes my poor grammar is intentional.
So don't automatically think that I'm iggorant. Even if you might be correct in your assumption.

#notesfromtheasylum  Like I said, I have no idea how this # thing works.

That said, I've had 1,400 combined views already today. By the end of day it should be 1500. 

Well there you go, That's Today. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary


Hermitology #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Would someone please explain to me why I'm supposed to be nice to people I don't want around me. 
I just don't get why saying, Who are you n why are you here is wrong.
Seems logical to me to then say, you need to leave.
People are always saying they prefer honesty, but you know, they really don't. 

Recently a salesman asked me why he was here.
I told him, that's what I'd like to know.
By the way, that went over really well. 
I spend a lot of time in the Dog House.
So as you might guess I'm not allowed to talk to people sometimes.

Rule #1. No pictures of me. The minute you try or do we are done. I will just walk away.
If you need a pic, use the image below.

For over a decade now, I have rarely left the farm. 
My Amish friend Henry travels way more than I do.
I have horses but unlike Henry I do not go anywhere on them.
I'm not agoraphobic because I do go outside, just not off my property. 

Oh yeah n I do not talk on telephones.
No idea what a shrink labels that one.
Last but not least, I do not like having my picture taken.
Which is why my online image is inverted/a negative.
I lied, I also don't like to shake hands.

Quite a switch I know. In the 1990s I traveled constantly, All over Canada, Europe, even South Africa and Australia.

Now I rarely leave the farm, except for a trip to Menard's every few months, but honest to god that's about it.

When the Playboy article came out I was warned it would change my life, mmmmmmm, never noticed a thing.
I suppose if I used telephones or ventured into the world I might have.

Have you heard how people case your home via facebook to see when you're not home?
Well me n the dogs are always here, ALWAYS!
I have also strategically placed methods of persuasion all over the farm, that is besides the dogs.

Gotta tell you a story.
While at the gas station buying gas to mow. yes for El Diablo I used a telephone n I left my property. What can I say, you wanna beat the devil it takes extraordinary actions.
While pumping the gas I struck up a conversation with the guy accross from me pumping gas to mow.
The conversation was him. Never sharpened my blades so many times in one summer.
Me. Usually you mow (here in Michigan) every 5 days in the spring n every 10 days in fall. I'm still mowing once a week. He mows 4 acres, me 3.5 hrs per mowing.

Again at TSC to buy water softener salt etc.
I struck up a conversation with a forklift operator, about the pros n cons of planting fruit trees in the fall.

I like 5 minute conversations with strangers, you can be friendly n openly honest without the repercussions of people you will ever see again. repercussions as in someone wanting to or taking it as you wanting a friend, I do not.

1,000 Strangers

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit to you that I find it much easier to share m feelings or have friendship with 1,000 strangers than one person.

I know people that are in desperate need of friendship, they have not chosen to be alone. I feel very bad for them even if I have no understanding of there need.

I am perfectly content with one friend Kathy and my family dogs n horses.

Casual relationships beyond that suite me. I also enjoy this vague relationship of the internet.
I enjoy talking to the unknown.

I Like Facebook it suites me to a T.
I like the detachment of facebook.
I can talk to anyone I want, anywhere in the world yet take my time to formulate my thoughts. I can use words like formulate.
You know how you really prefer watching a movie on TV as apposed to a theater because you can pause it to pee or get something to eat or drink. Same thing.
Also facebook is the purest medium for talking to people with just your mind, if you choose.
I also do not have to do it at a specific time, to the annoying ring of a phone, nor do I have to leave my farm to do it.

On twitter but like my phone I rarely turn it on.
So if you want or need to talk to me, facebook is the only place that is likely to happen.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

2,480 pez banks in trade for Lawn Tractor $1,679.99 #pezoutlaw #hollywood

2,480 Pez Banks at .68cents each.
originally retailed at $20 to $25.00 each

The other lawn tractor sold out so I had to pick an alternate. 
Poulan Pro PP22VH48 (48") 22HP Lawn Tractor

Putting on a Pez Convention or Pez gathering.
Where else you gonna get a great handout for 75cents each.
Hell, Pez Pins cost more than that.
Stencil on your event n voila you're in business.

only 2480 left. limited supply. act quick before they're gone forever. very rare. COLLECTIBLE!

What the heck.
Might as well, who knows.

in effect you'd get the 2,480 pez banks for $1,679.99
I will trade 2,480 of these Pinapple Pez Banks to anyone who buys me the below 

Poulan Pro PP22VH48 (48") 22HP Lawn Tractor

. listed on ebay for US $1,679.99 free shipping
BUT, if you have to ship the Pez banks to yourself, yeah that will be your cost also. 

2,480 Pez Banks

vinyl Pineapple Pez Bank. 12 inch tall made by M&J Variety. Bank is made to resemble a classic Pez dispenser.

I will trade 2,480 of these Pinapple Pez Banks to anyone who buys me the below

Poulan Pro PP22VH48 (48") 22HP Lawn Tractor

$1,679.99 free shipping by seller of tractor to me

You buy the Lawn Tractor specified n have it shipped FREE by the seller to my address.
Then you can pick up the 2,480 Pez Banks or arrange there shipment to you.
Fedex will bring tags/labels n pick up the cases if you choose.

be warned it's 117 boxes.
97 boxes with 19 per
18 boxes with 36 per.

Poulan Pro PP22VH48 (48") 22HP Lawn Tractor

US $1,679.99 free shipping

using a front wheel drive walk behind mower right now.
about 1 hr per day n that's not counting the trails.

If the garden tractor I want is Sold Out.
$2,000.00 CASH, on pickup.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, May 1, 2017

designator-LMS/CM.433,391 #pezoutlaw #hollywood

The Title is a private joke about contracts.
The tragedies in your life are not your life's story.The dreams you refuse to let die are your life's story.
The isolation of that belief in yourself is your story.
The refusal to surrender your dreams to a reality you reject is your story.

Today while walking behind the lawn mower for 2hrs doing just the backyard, this is the conversation I had with myself.
Do poor n middle class folks face different moral decisions than White collar n rich.
Do some of us not have the luxury of high moral standards?

This came up because I was imagining being interviewed by a reporter for the movie about Pez Outlaw that saw my behavior in a dim light.
I'd have no problem with his view, but what would be my answer.
I arrived at the previous statement.

It was once said to me that "This could have been so much easier".
I can see how that might or would be true with anyone else.
Is it even possible for something to happen differently than it did.
People are complicated, many factors influence the path we must walk. 
With others I'm sure this could've been easier.
If Pez Outlaw were/was other people though you'd never have asked.

Opening shot.
10yr old boy being dragged by a teacher to the classroom closet.
The boy is pushed into darkness n the door is closed.
A light comes on n it's that same boy in a 4ftx4ft cell (the Hole) in a county jail.
Sudden violent turbulence n the passenger on a tiny plane flying from Austria to Slovenia wakes up wondering what had led him to that moment in time.

The in between is a composite of the adventures of Pez Outlaw, his rise n fall.
Followed by the 2 decades of struggle to get Pez outlaw made into a movie.
The story is the struggle, the belief of a person in themselves.
3 decades of belief.

Closing Shot.
Camera to the back of an old man in the dark watching a lit stage of a movie about his life being made.

Kathy said that she was glad to hear that I didn't feel the need to share everything I thought n that to her surprise there was a filter between my mind n my mouth.

Let me smack that filter, it might be on the Fritz. 
This was an entirely different post which I deleted.
It's not that I now disagree with what I said.
If anything I feel even stronger on the subject.
I removed the post because I felt I was having that conversation a bit to soon.
Barring a miracle we will have that conversation later.
For now let's just say I'm disappointment.

Poulan Pro PP22VH48 (48") 22HP Lawn Tractor
( 222401040235 ) 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary