Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Larry the cat n a dog named 8o8 #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Squirrel's n Slinky's 

There's a video of a squirrel trying to climb the post of a Bird feeder. 
The human attached a slinky to the bottom of the bird feeder that continues down over the top half of the pole.
The squirrel gets halfway up then gets on the slinky n back down to the ground he goes.
No animals were harmed in this video.

Got me thinking about words that are just funny all by themselves.
Squirrel, Slinky n a cat named Larry fall in this category.

A Cat named Larry

I've recently started watching Modern Family. Last nights episode dealt with the little girls cat who had been missing for 3 days. Being a comedy they no doubt spent a lot of time deciding what the funniest name for her cat would be.
It's not making fun of the name Larry to think that the name Larry for a cat is hilarious.

From the cat's point of view I'm sure he would say.

You can call me Larry, as long as I get paid.

For the record, I once had a dog named BoB.
BoB, liked to play with yo yo's.

Every Bull Mastiff I've ever had was a clepto.
They'd steal anything they could reach.
Cell Phones, car keys, tissue boxes n T-P are favorites.

There was one dog though that was a specialist.
A Blue Heeler named Jake that only stole money n he'd take it straight to Kathy.
He always seemed very disappointed when we'd return the money.

The point besides just being funny

After the article came out, Kathy asked. 
What exactly are you trying to accomplish? 
Have you read this? April 2015 Playboy "the Pez Outlaw"
You realize you come off fairly cray-cray.

real simple answers, not in order. 
If I get paid, no I do not care.

In life we all become what or who we need to be to get paid. 
We become Doctors, lawyers, factory workers, salesmen or in my case Pez Outlaw.

Don't you care at all what people think of or about you? 
answer, no I do not. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, March 3, 2017

Oedipus, NFTA75k #pezoutlaw #hollywood

The Son Becomes The Father, but not the other thing.

After the last office party we had here at the Asylum I was very reluctant to allow another.
When Notes From The Asylum hit 475,000 views I had no choice but to allow it.
All the voices in my head were there, making for a very raucous event indeed.
There was Cake.

I sorta get it.
I mentioned this milestone to several people from the outside world n got nothing.
The problem is I was reluctant to spell out why it's so significant, so now I will.

Pez Outlaw Diary has been up for approx a decade n I've been actually working on it for 15yrs.
In that decade Pez Outlaw Diary has received roughly 376,000 views.
Notes From The Asylum will have been up 2yrs in the coming August.
Meaning in less than 2yrs NFTA has exceeded a decades work on Pez Outlaw Diary.

I was reluctant to spell this out because I worried this revelation might hurt Pez Outlaw Diary.
This morning I decided that since Notes From The Asylum was created to help illuminate the mind of Pez Outlaw, so why not.
When I signed the original contracts for Pez Outlaw I knew that a lot of waiting was next.
Meaning I needed something to stay busy n pass the time.

Initially I created NFTA to provide details about how the mind of Pez Outlaw works for the scriptwriter.
Nobody asked for it but I figured it couldn't hurt.
I believe I was right because I've been told, "keep doing what you're doing".

What I never counted on was that this side-venture into the workings of my mind would surpass what it was created from/for.
Notes From The Asylum has been very illuminating.
Because of NFTA I've finally moved on from 15yrs of anger n obsession with Pez Outlaw Diary.

When Notes From The Asylum started showing me that it was going to pass Pez Outlaw Diary in 1/5 the time, I was kinda shocked.
How was it that busy work was becoming more successful than where it sprang from.
The answer is easy.
Pez Outlaw Diary is confined to the parameter of the Pez Outlaw story.
Notes From the Asylum has no boundaries it can go anywhere n be about anything.

I hope this share passes muster.
There would be no Notes From The Asylum without Pez Outlaw Diary.
So NFTA's crazy success should not diminish the value of it's predecessor.

I'm sorta over the moon about the success of Notes From The Asylum.
Thank you for all the views n I especially thank Slovakia for almost half of those 368,000 views.

Management released the following statement.
Trust me, I'm out here in the trenches every day.
This is significant. 

last 24hrs
Slovakia      1229

United States

no idea why NFTA resonates so strong in Slovakia
I'm just grateful.

The new goal of 1million views for Notes From The Asylum begins today.

4sale 75k Notes From The Asylum by Pez Outlaw

I've assemble the top 50 posts on Notes From The Asylum as rated by views as a sampler.
This offer includes all posts in Notes From The Asylum.
I'm offering the publishing rights to Notes From The Asylum for $75,000.00
Plus industry norm per book royalties.

This offer is only for the book publishing right nothing else.
I retain all other Trademarks and rights.
Movie n other rights are not included in this offer.

Top 50 n most recent posts. as rated by views.

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Wha-cha Doin? #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

This is actually something my Daughter inlaw says to me or her kids when we are doing something squirrely. 
No excuse, I used it here just because I wanted to.
So much of what I do here in the Asylum would fall under the question, Whatcha Doin?

"Whatcha Doin" is meant as a polite if not humorous call from reality to return.
The choice to return to reality is up to you. 
Personally I've got a bit more to do here before I can return.

Unfortunately, just this morning I was Told "Keep doing what you're doing".
So you can see, I have no choice but to play here a while.
Then there'd be the next thing n you know this guys the only person for that.

Which in the end means I probably won't be returning.
It's like a Mars mission, a one way trip.
The trick n it's always been that way is to separate them.

Pez Outlaw is the character that that life is poured into.
The writer here in the Asylum is the sought out conscious require for this task.
Then there is me, the Hermit that wants none of what those other 2 guys are up to. 

Full circle, "Whatcha Doin"?
It's complicated.
Not sure even I understand.
I just know it's what I need to do.


Everybody says you should take precautions, so you do. Somehow the unwelcome guest shows up anyway.

Slowly the dominoes fall over the whole family.

Who started this anyway?
Kathy says, better not to know, wouldn't want to harbor ill will.

Seriously though, any day, any day.
Wanding every visitor for hidden objects.

5 days now n like fish it's beginning to smell.
Beginning to wear on me mentally.

Dude, what in God's name are you whining about?
Got the Flu for Christmas at a family gathering.

Wanted dirt, got the flu. Santa's a real kidder. 
Luckily we have a porta john for outside work. 

Better after 5 days of torment.
Went through a historic amount of TP.

I think what's got me today is mild depression.
Hey, Flu with a chaser of depression. Livin Large.

I hardly ever get sick because I have little contact with the outside world.
Unfortunately the Holidays present unavoidable exposure.

Just heard this morning. Josh, Heidie n Ri caught it in the last day or so. 
Kathy said, Don't you dare write one about vomiting n diarrhea.
We all knew I would though, didn't we.

Happy Face Icon.

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals. 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Talkin Outa Turn #pezoutlaw #hollywood

This post has been censored by my editor, Kathryn Ann.
I might add that there has been a larger than normal amount of censorship in my life lately.
I've gotten the hook, fingers across the throat to cut, strong suggestions to remove dialog n erges to tone it down in general.
My wife says NO, then it's no.

The title of this post very easily could've been, "They keep sneaking in on us".

A couple of the gals from Cindy's horse boarding facility down the road stopped by yesterday.
Told one of the gals a new horse was coming today.
She was commenting on how many boarders we have, which prompted me to say "Yeah they keep sneaking in on us".

There are 18 to 20 horses here at the moment, 1/2 are boarders n 1/2 are rescues of one type or another.
That's a bit fast but generally the situation.

We allow a very small number of folks to board here out of friendship.
We are not a boarding facility n do not want to be one.
Problem is, New Boarders keep sneaking in on us.

My n I hope our dream is to transform the farm into a horse rescue facility.
If by some miracle they make the Movie n Jeff n I write the book, that's the end game.
Get ourselves into a financial situation that we can just take care of horses that need a home.
There are just to many horses out there that need a good home or a place to live out there retirement.

The Old Man had been at several farms in his life, when he got to us he just needed his Gold Watch.

Johnny Cash - people thought they wanted him but as he was leaving (he stopped here as a transition point) he looked at me n I could very clearly hear him saying "I want to stay here"
A week later Johnny came back n that was the end of it.

Red - people paid good money for him, then he hurt himself n had a pretty bad eye injury.
Red came here to rest n be treated, we have a very good friend who helps, Dr. Katie Collier.
Red got back to 100%, then Kathy asked me if red had asked to stay yet, well that's pretty much all he'd been talking about so yeah he asked.
Why, Red's people don't want him back n asked if we'd take him.
Well Red's here now n that's the end of that.

Cowboy/Smokey/Boy n Dunkin/Dub are 2 more. 
I mean talk about great horses, Boy n Dub are Rockey Mountain Horses.
It kinda don't get better than Rockies.
Old story, Lady had 15 horses n ran completely outa money.
She did the honorable thing n just immediately gave away $2,000+ horses as fast as she could.
Unfortunately Dub n Boy had been on the short end of 15 horses n not much food.
Lots of food n years later n both Boy n Dub are magnificent.
Smokey Boy is our resident Rastafarian, He loves his dreads, rolls in mud to get them.

Tricksie - she's our little miracle worker.
We got a Boarder horse that can't make friends.
She asked Tricksie if she'd be her friend n of course tiny little tricksie she is, she said sure.
Now if you wanna bring in the big show horse, you just get Tricksie n she follows.
Ponies like Tricksie lose there homes real quick because kids outgrow them real fast.

Then you've got your old soldiers like Tenney.
Ten was a husband horse.
Husband Horses are safe horses to keep hubby happy so mamma can go riding.
Husbands move on in one fashion or another, meaning husband horses need a new home.

Honey B. - the family just moved on n horses were no longer in the plan.
Honey is just amazing, put any misfit you want in with her n she'll straighten it out within days.
Honey can be a shrew with the Wild Bunch but you bring her out n saddle her up n she then becomes the absolute best kids horse you could get.
Pen life vs arena life, two very different things.

I went through all that n that's not everybody, to illustrate the need for a home for unwanted really good horses.
I used to rebel at the thought of how many horses we had that weren't paying.
Something has happened over the last month or so though, I've made peace with reality.

My friends are these Horses n Dogs, I like them n I like talking to them.
Of course to answer your question, the horses n dogs talk to me.
I'll illustrate.

Yesterday Bo had been giving me a hard time for about n hour.
Kathy n the new gal were standin there n I said look at him starin at me.
Plain as day Bo was saying, Dude quit jackin your jaw n get on with it.
A minute or two later that potlicker started treating me like I was kinda slow.
Bo'd walk a dozen foot toward his manger then look back at me, walk another dozen foot n look at me again.

Well hell son, I ain't that slow.
So I got on with it.
You wanna hear animals talk, Pay Attention to Them.
That's it no trick, just make an effort n listen
Animals are talking to us all the time problem is that we aren't listening.
You gotta let your shit go n give them a chance to get a word in edgeways.

A lot of times when an animal starts acting out it's exactly because you are refusing to listen to there side of the story or needs.
Before you ride a horse you need to ask them how they're feelin today.
Are they sore, are there feet OK, does that gear suit ya?
Poor choice of bit, horses will tell ya what works best for them.
Saddle Fit, Dang that ones important.
Then your horse acts out n nimrod you are you blame them.

I can't tell you the number of times I've asked the following question.
Somebody will be havin a dickens of a time with there horse.
I ask them, Are you talking to him/her?

When I rode I preferred bareback, never a bit, just a halter n 1 lead rope.
We got along just fine.
Then I realized, I preferred walking in the company of a horse more than riding.
Now I just meander about n talk to them.
Folks always look funny at me.
Like, Who's he talkin to? 

Out East one time, Kathy n friends decided to go riding.
The people at the stable actually took the horse away from me because I wouldn't ride it.
I kept getting off n just walking the horse.
For some reason they got really pissed. 
Fair enough, because to be honest there stupidity really pissed me off.

So like I said These animals are my friends.
I enjoy talking to them n doin for them.
I'll tell ya what also.
You get in a corner with a horse n he'll give ya the benefit of the doubt in a pinch.

Yesterday I had to open a pen n prep it for that new horse that was sneakin in.
When I got ready to leave, there I was 30ft from the open gate on the tractor.
Old Busta came charging at me n that open gate.
Cover your ears I curse sometimes, hey why not they/horse curse at me.
No violence but we do curse.

"God Dam You Busta, You Owe Me".
I put one finger up in the air after cursing him out n he stopped right there.
Not that one. 
Busta said "Just Screwin with ya Dude, I know I Owe ya".

Here's the thing about me saying that a horse owes me.
I do for these horses every day n I ask nothing.
Except if a horse n I get in a corner, I expect they lean a bit in my favor.
I expect that they all see that as a fair exchange for my labor.
Any horse that can't see or get that is gone in 24hrs.

My hope is that they make the movie n we write the book so that we can turn this place into a Horse rescue for all my friends n the friends I've yet to meet.
Let's leave the horse boarding to Cindy n Brad, folks that like that sorta thing.

Now that don't mean people can't come here n enjoy the Horse arena or the Trails.
N if we get real lucky some surprises, visitin folks would really enjoy. 
"VISIT" means you n your horse go home, no more sneakin in n boarding.

That's the plan anyway, God Willin. 
I love Tellin Animal's stories. 

That new gal that was here yesterday thought she had to hurry up cause Kathy was goin out to supper with folks.
She said I better get goin so you all can get to supper.
Told her I wasn't goin anywhere, that I really don't leave the farm.
New gal looked puzzled, I really didn't go into it.
Just said, everything I want is here, the world holds nothin for me anymore beyond this farm.

That's it for today.
Gotta build a new Haynet feeder for the New Appy Baby.

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.
my blogs have received 1,000,000 views

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

We Dream Of More #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Last night n this morning a thought kept churning around in my mind.
That thought is how the Pez Outlaw story is actually a  story of the same struggle n aspirations of all working middle class n poor in America.

The middle class n poor of America all yearn for a shot, there shot at something better for there families. 
We all dream of making our big play n winning.

Why do you think Survivor, American Idol, The Voice n state Lotteries are so popular?
People dream of something better. 

It's my fault for not writing Pez Outlaw Diary better, but I think it is the story of that dream.
My yearning while working in the shop was no different than yours.

My attempt at something better for my family is the same thing you work hard for every day.
I just wish that I'd written it better so that that was more obvious.

I believe that had there been or if there was a Pez Outlaw Movie n it focused on the fight our fight for something better, that movie would find a big audience in Middle America.
They'd delight in watching one of there own make a big international corporation go NUTS. 

Putting a finger in the eye of power n who doesn't like that?
THEY is a euphemism frequently used by the working class for an unseen, unnameable entity that it's perceived to keep the working class down.

A likeable Outlaw is very appealing to working middle class n poor.
Think I'm Nut's, OK why do so many TV shows have the word Outlaw in the Title?

The rise n eventual fall of Pez Outlaw would not be disheartening if the refusal to give up or give in afterwords was also shown.
I believe people would find a hero in one of them who fought on after losing most everything, yet still refused to give up.

The Pez Outlaw fall was at the same time more or less as there fall during the housing crisis.
When they were losing there homes I came within inches of losing mine.

Everybody in Middle America knows someone close that lost there home.
I was just to stupid to let it go, which is why I'm still fighting to keep my home.

That spirit to fight on is your spirit, you don't give up, you keep fighting.
There will be plenty of time to rest when we're dead.

The Movie itself if there was one would be a victory for every person who gets up each day n just keeps on fighting for something better.
That's why I think a great opening shot for a movie would be an OLD Pez Outlaw in a dark corner of the movie set watching his movie being made, reflecting on the life that led him to that moment. 

That moment of watching the Pez Outlaw Movie being made is the Money Shot, it is the victory of Middle America n everything that they believe. 

You don't need to change the story.
Just add another dimension to the story you have.

People are different n each should be able to walk out of the movie with an aspect that touched them personally.
Of course show n run with the Crazy, that's where the fun of it comes in.

I would also employ The Irving Thalberg formula.
Show Pez Outlaw being mistreated early on to gain sympathy n forgiveness for some of the things he does because it's crucial movie goers like n root for the character to win.

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.
my blogs have received 1,000,000 views

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Cage Match - Chaplin vs Stooges #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I've always felt that when Pez Outlaw walks off into the sunset, it will be under one of these Alien Umbrellas.
Homage to Chaplin's Little Tramp. For me there are a lot of similarities between Chaplin's Little Tramp n Pez Outlaw. Both stuck there fingers in the eyes of authority. Both are charming yet wicked. Both have very big hearts.

I just realized that it's been approx 100yrs since the heyday of Charlie Chaplin.
I believe he arrived on the scene in 1915.
By 1917ish he was setting up his own studio.
Unlike the 3 Stooges, Chaplin was able to get creative control of his film because he realized how successful his work was.
It wasn't until the advent of TV that the 3 stooges realized how popular they actually were.

There are people who would excoriate me for daring to even mention the 3 Stooges in the same sentence as Charlie Chaplin. So.
Yes Chaplin was the most recognizable face on the planet by 1920 n that lasted up through the 1950s.
BUT, the 3 Stooges started in about 1933 n theaters would only take some Columbia pictures if they got new 3 stooges shorts also.
Further, 3 Stooges shorts went into TV syndication in 1955ish n have never left.
So you tell me which had the bigger impact?

I've seen the entirety of Chaplin n the 3 Stooges work.
My personal favorite is the 3 Stooges, hands down.
I get the subtlety of Chaplin but like W.C. Fields said a glorified Ballet Dancer.
Chaplin may have figured out the value of his work n gained control over it but he also destroyed it in a sense by refusing to change in 1929 when talkies took over.

The Stooges on the other hand were blue collar actors turning out a continuous good product.
Did you know that when there studio finished a big budget picture before they broke down the set that they'd rush the Stooges onto it n shoot a short.
Also on a personal level Charlie Chaplin was a mess, Moe Howard on the other hand always had in mind what was good for his brothers n his working family.
Moe looked out for the best interests of a lot of people n even took care of a few till there death.
So yeah, the stooges.

For the record I do not look any of this shit up, I prefer to work from my memory of things.

I started selling things on ebay on Nov 1, 2001.
Of all the things I've ever sold on ebay this Alien umbrella is my favorite n that includes Pez.
I've had these Alien umbrellas pretty much since the beginning.
They sell at a slow regular pace, but still my favorite item.
Everything about this Alien umbrella appeals to me personally.

Just wanted to share.

Vintage 1950s RETRO UFO SciFi RED Alien Umbrella 1950s re... (301651700673)

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

...................... is Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood

There, I said it out loud for the first time.
Would it be wrong to start a rumor that ................... is going to play Pez Outlaw in the Movie?

My dream actor to play Pez Outlaw in a movie would be .........................
The most common comment is "who would you like or think should play you".
Truth is, No idea at all, that's up to them. 

The first big deadline on this project closes today.
Meaning, we're house hunting starting Saturday, hoping to find a new home for Pez Outlaw.
So things have a ways to go.

Out of the blue yesterday Ri says, Yeah I think ??? would be a good choice to play you in the Pez Outlaw movie. I heard this once before from Jeff Maysh.
You may have noticed I removed the name n image of the specific actor.
Reason is, I do not won't to make anyone think I prefer this or that actor to play me in the movie.
Whomever, I'm good.

Whatever choice of actor to play Pez Outlaw they make is fine with me.

Same goes for whatever story they decide to tell, I will support any n all decisions.
The project is bigger than choices of actor or direction of story.

That said I decided to reflect on if it were ???.
Guy looks about right n I was 43 when it all started.
??? from my limited knowledge seems to be able to do crazy pretty good.
He also has that correct off look that seems to be me.

I have to say this though.
If it were ???, the crazy is key.
Napkin in my left hand as I write this. 
Obsessive compulsive habits.
That twist around look as to who might be following me.
Quick personality changes from hot to cold.
Out of nowhere finishing a thought from a week ago, like no time at all had lapsed.
Laying out chairs etc in hotel rooms to impede intruders.
Flushing fingernail clippings or hair from brushes.
N remember, these were the good years.

If they go into the decade of depression that followed when I wrote Pez Outlaw Diary.
That's another emotional side.
The journey is the story.
So ???, yeah sure why not.

I will tell you this, I'm going nuts waiting for news. 
Any news, motion is enough. 

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary