Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Why Do I keep Doin That? #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I wrote this post in the hope that by shining a light on a problem I might just get rid of it.
Nope, it didn't work, day after day I just keep on clicking that little red button.

Every few minutes I have a red button I'm not supposed to click.
The urge to click it is overpowering.
Half the time I click it, I just can't stop myself.

Then in my minds eye I see all sorts of engineers running around like a nuclear plant meltdown.

It doesn't help that every other button must be clicked.
But, mustn't click the Red Button.

If you click the red button n I did.
Then you must reset n again not click the red button.
Being compulsive obsessive this is very confusing.

Life just keeps on refusing to conform to my way of thinking.
How do you conform to a world that for the most part makes no sense to you?
It's the imitation game, Don't think about it, count if you must.

Everybody's Got There Own Shit, so yours had better be entertaining or nobody really wants to hear it.I recently had an AGRO salesman pull in the drive. 
It was raining for the third day in a row.
The mud is about 3 inches deep in the horse pens n yup you guessed it, I'm the guy that has to go in each one every day.

So the AGRO guy pulls in n there I stand soaking wet trying to do chores.
On reflection I thought that I was kinda course to him at first.
I ask him, how is it being a drummer out here?
The Agro guy said I was one of the nicest people he'd met.
Man his day musta been shitty for that to be true.

I tried at that point to be a bit nicer.
Told him, I'm Eb (Green Acres reference) so you know, I'm not the guy but I will pass along the info.
Of course I then went on in the rain for 20 minutes about horses etc.
That guy will never get that 20 minutes back, it's gone forever.

To my surprise  Kathy told me that she hate's talking to those guys.
Well I think like ole Newt I just invented myself a job.
Told Kathy if that's true, just give them to me.
I'll talk there ears off for 20 minutes n they will be begging to leave.

Strays from the point, yet actually makes the point?
Everybody's Got There Own Shit so I try to make mine interesting n at a minimum entertaining.
A good deal of my life is spent in a fantasy world of my creation.
Translating that world n my perspective on life is what I try to do here.
My hope is that I offer a unique point of view.

The real problem in life is if you expect others to ignore there shit n give yours the floor. 
If you expect that they would or should, you are delusional.
I do not expect that people listen or care about my DRAMA.
I just go ahead n do it anyway, because? 
Yes you guessed it, it amuses me to do it.

Do people tire of us or do we push them away? 
People think they wanna know you then they realize, OH OH That Was A Bad Idea.
Crazy is only fun n cool on TV or in Movies. 
Were I not a Hermit, this might be a problem.
I know, kinda a knotty sentence. 


Did you know that of the posts here from The Asylum, crazy/abstract posts do far better than a reasoned out post.
Since my mind has a natural inclination to the crazy or abstract this actually works out fine.Kinda puts the kibosh on my attempts to seem normal or sane though.

I'm lucky.
My wife Kathryn Ann has always allowed me to indulge in things that make me happy, no matter how crazy they appear to others.
For me this is the biggest gift one person can give another.

Pez Outlaw has now taken up 15yrs of Kathryn Ann n my life.
Yet she still gives me the room to do what I must.
Kathryn Ann understands that I really have no choice, I must push the red button.


You ever notice how sometimes you run out of words.
The other day I had to have words with Billy Dog.
At that moment I had none, so I just used made up words n plunged ahead.
Can you imagine being Billy Dog, there she is trying to learn our language n I pull that crap on her.  

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Fame for Pez Outlaw, obscurity for me #pezoutlaw #hollywood

My reward will be his success.

Whenever I want to move on from something I don't like or that was pointless, I throw dirt on it.
Throwing dirt on something is a figurative statement to me.
Throw dirt on it = bury it with an avalanche of posts. 

Recently I had a talk with a person from the past, as in my past life.
I had high hopes that this conversation, might be informative or at the very least controversial.
Even bad press is press n notoriety is or can be forward motion.

No other way to say it, It was a disappointment. 
To be honest I'm not clear what the person was searching for.
Either way it deviated from my prime objective, which is the promotion of Pez Outlaw.

I steal 2-3hrs of every day to push my agenda.
I know how awful that sounds, but I set this goal over a decade ago n I refuse to deviate until I succeed. 
So when a pursuit/conversation cuts to deeply into that 2-3hrs without any visible gain I just can't afford it.

I've told you that I have zero money, which means time is my currency.
None of us are truly poor, we just have different assets.
When I lost everything n could not buy a solution to my predicament I realized my new asset/weapon was the Internet n that time was what I had to spend to achieve my goals.

I just can't get bogged down in long trips down memory lane unless they move the Pez Outlaw agenda forward.
I didn't come to the Internet to find relationships, I came here to give Pez Outlaw a voice.
So what appears interesting to others is sometimes only a waste of my most precious commodity, Time. 

Look, I've told you I'm a Hermit n this is not gonna change.
Truth is even after I achieve my goals, this is actually only gonna get worse.
My dream is fame for Pez Outlaw n obscurity for myself.

Johanne said "You like to sell fast, I like to sell slow. We will see who wins."
To that I say, "He who writes the history of the event wins."
I'm very single minded in my goals, you would be correct to say I have tunnel vision on my goals to the exclusion of everything else. Everything.

Branded with personal defects as deficits that I now use as my strengths.
I'm an alphabet soup of crazy: schizophrenic, bipolar, ADD, compulsive obsessive etc.
These are my assets now, I have focused these flaws into my goal of making Pez Outlaw a success.

A week ago the news was not good n I think you could tell I was no longer on my game.
Well that's over, no matter what the news is at any step of my journey, as long as I have breath I will not stop in my pursuit of promoting the Pez Outlaw story.

I have no choice but success.
Once Pez Outlaw is finished, then I can rest.
Hopefully that rest includes a mountain of Bank Run/dirt with stones n my tractor.

I seek obscurity but I want Pez Outlaw to have his Fame.
I'm schizophrenic, so of course this is possible.
It wouldn't be the first time that I threw someone outa my mind.
I do it all the time, the real problem is keeping them out. 

That friends is how you throw dirt on something.
Meanwhile, I've got $4.37 in my account, but I'm rich with time. 
Yes I keep score, if I didn't Rudy/dog would haunt me. 

Which answers your other question.
Do you care what anyone thinks of you.
Yes, I care what my dogs think of me. 

To all the folks on twitter trying to sell me services.
I've got $4.37 in my account.
Poor, you've sunk a dry hole. 

Take a really good look at my profile pic.
Twitter folks, Do you really think you can manage that?
The Best have tried. 

Each day being compulsive obsessive there are 3 goal, goals within goals.
1. view count for opening post.
2. daily view count 1,000-1,500.
3. Lifetime view count must pass the next thousand.

Sorry for going on.
A post must open at 200 views.
We're good now. 

The journey begins
my blogs have received 1,000,000 views
by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Bum in a Dumpster #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Back in the early 90s I used to dumpster dive for cereal boxes.Once while in an enclosed recycling dumpster some folks innocently opened the hatch to put some material in.
When they lifted the flap in the dumpster there I sat.
I said Hello n they left really quick.
Bum in a dumpster wasn't what they were expecting that Saturday.


I love the following sentiment.
He taught me everything, but not everything he knew.


The Mud's Got Whitecaps.
There's been an ungodly amount of rain this year.
We had An ocean of mud.
When the peaks dry, they look like Whitecaps.

I went into one of the pastures the other day,
The tractor got stuck in soft mud up to the frame.
As always Kathy had to snatch me out with her truck.
Within a week the mud closed, like I'd never been there.

Saw some mice rafting on the runoff.

God I'm in terrible shape this spring.
Sunk 3 posts n man did I pay the next day.
Bought n unloaded material for 2 jobs.
That was it for the day, except chores.

Every year Spring is a shock to my system.
With spring comes projects.
Each project highlights how outa shape I am. 
Even with winter's work load, I still loose ground.

All winter I'm busy.
3 to 4 hours a day outside working.
Thing is it's a different kind of work.
In winter you just hold things together n do chores.

Spring brings projects.
Pasture need cleaned n big repairs are no longer on hold.
Muddy rutts need smoothing n the yard needs mowing.
Oh yeah n I gotta rebuild the mower deck.

We haven't even got to trees, gardens n flowers.
This year I want to plant 6 new fruit trees.
I need to seed 3 to 4 new wild flower patches.
Also need to figure out what I'm doin with the garden this year.

The new raspberries are already in the ground. 
Believe it or not I'm already seeing leaves.
Ripped out n moved 40 ft of bushes
Moved them down hill n replaced with raspberries.

Got new boots, on sale, 2 pair, $44.00
Tellin folks like a kid with new tennies.
Seemed odd on reflection.
Yet, why don't other people get excited by little things.

Just accepted a new follower on twitter.
Prompts me to say, There's weird n then there is WEIRD.
I try to stay within the bounds of good taste.
But there are some really strange things out there. 

This is happening on TV also.
The boundaries of good taste are being pushed, more n more.
I like science fiction, Time travel n Zombie detectives are fun.
But all that's just goofy fun.

What I don't care for are shows about the cannibal of the week.
I don't like shows that feature crimes against children.
Criminal Minds etc are not my cup of tea. 
I can't get that stuff outta my head.

Once a TV show shows you something you can't unring that bell.
IZombi fun TV, Criminal Minds not so much.
Supernatural Fun, reality news shows about grisly murders, not fun.
To each there own I guess. 

It's a shame though.
Great actors.
Terrifically well written characters.
Subject, like Jase say's, No.

Did some good on the ruts today.
Gotta get the ground shaped up so it's possible to mow. 
Neighbors each side of me have already mowed.
Todays post was Goulash of the week.

Just saw this. 
Enjoy all the benefits of online shopping plus free store pickup.
Begs the question.
Were you gonna charge me to come to the store n pick it up?

The journey begins

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Edumacated #pezoutlaw #hollywood

One day you wake to happiness.
That doesn't change the misery of the day before.
All is forgiven, The Happy Lie.


Hold your thoughts close
Scared of what you want

The Truth
Another's perception

Eternity, a moment in time
Light or Darkness

Choose the dream
Scorn the reality

Understanding nothing
Caring less

The Dream

Gather insight. 
Get to what matters.
A life worth writing about.

Pricing the heart.
Renowned, some say expert.
l joined too late.

Fix the machine.
Relax & enjoy the trip.
Connect to the future.

Eat obscurityً, morn it's loss.  
Don't fear embarrassment.
Be Self-proclaimed.

The one thing that causes me pause about my own sanity is my unbelievable optimism in Pez Outlaw.

Be very careful talking with your hands when your eyes are closed, no telling what you'll run into. 


Urban Dictionary: Edicate

Edicate is when you're not edumacated enough to spell etiquette!

I'd like to let you in on a secret.
When writing here in Notes From The Asylum I google words all the time.
Before I started writing in NFTA I was a spoken word kinda guy.
I used all sorts of words in conversation.

It's one thing to use words talking n generally know the usage of a word.
When you start writing you gotta spell that shit n you dam sure better use it correctly.
So I look em up.

I used the reference above as my perfect illustration of that point because it was spot on.
I did try to use Etiquette by spelling it Edicate.
I found the search information delightfully humorous.
So much so that I built this post around it.

Did you notice I said built not wrote.
Kinda interesting slip, huh.

Does that mean I actually look at writing like Building n words are tools?

Like one of my many heroes Groucho Marx I'm a self educated 65yr old man who tries to never stop learning.
At age 43 I doubt I'd ever read a whole book due to dyslexia.
By the age of 52 I'd read several hundred books.
At age 52 I'd never really written anything.
Now at age 65 I've written Pez Outlaw Diary albeit poorly n Notes From The Asylum, much better.

During my decade as Pez Outlaw I was computer illiterate.
Now I do everything on the computer.
Change, learn n improve.
Not bad for a guy who in High School was in the slow kids class (Dyslexia, wasn't understood back then).

The Remington Diet #pezoutlaw #hollywood
Body By Remington.

You may have figured out from my posts here that I killed my riding mower.
I'm trying to figure out what you'd call that, maybe Lawn Mowercide?

Here's the thing n you know that's always the case, ie that there's a thing about almost everything.
I treat lawn mowers rough.
I've been on this piece of land 42 yrs n I've never managed to have a decent yard year to year.
By the nature of my life, every year I start over when it comes to my yard.
10 to 12 inch ruts from taking hay round, people park in n turn around in my yard.
Oh yeah n horses walk everywhere.
I long ago gave up on having a lawn like my neighbor Tod.

So every year I start out new.
My mower hits rocks limbs twigs n gravel on a regular basis.
My tires get poked by thorn apple needles so I fill them with goop.
My last riding mower was a Cub Cadet, bought it new n it lasted 5 seasons.
Cause of death, mower deck is shot n so is the pneumatic drive. 

The Cub Cadet didn't even finish it's 5th yr, so Kathy at my request bought me a $350 Remington walk behind mower.
My yard took 4hrs to mow on a riding mower n now takes roughly 7.5 hrs to mow walking.
I break this task up into 4 segments on 4 different days.

The good news is that because I'm now mowing my yard with a self-propelled walk behind mower instead of sitting on a riding mower, I've lost 1 inch on my waist.

The bad news is that that little bastard drags me all over the place n is wearing me out.

So far I've had 2 very kind friends (Susan n Laurie) offer to let me use there riding mowers.
I tell them, you do realize that my riding mower did not die a natural death.
I killed it, I always do.
I'm a cereal/serial Killer of lawn mowers.
As a matter of fact I kill any type of gas powered engine.
Just a fact, not something I'm proud of.

I will say this though.
I had a Scott garden tractor that lasted almost 12yrs with even worse treatment.
The cub cadet lasted 4.8yrs.

This post was supposed to be about the virtues of exercise n walking instead of sitting n riding.
I'm getting in decent shape for a 66yr old n I'm always going on to folks about "the Remington Diet".

see for more

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary