Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Old Children #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Just got to sneezing so hard I had to grab the back of my head to keep it from fallin off.


Outhouse by Willie Makit
Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel
School Truancy by Marcus Absent
Rusty Bedsprings by I. P. Freely
Under The Bleachers by Seymour Butts 

These jokes are not new.
As a matter of fact these jokes are probably older than I am.

I also find that I have a renewed appreciation for Knock Knock Jokes.
My grandchildren can tell me the stupidest joke n I'll think it's just great.
As a matter of fact the stupider a joke is, the more I like it.

These jokes made me laugh when I was 8 years old n they make me laugh today.
Which hasta make you wonder.

Why is it that Old Men have the same sense of humor as there 8yr old self's did?
Does it have something to do with having seen a lot n yearning for a simpler time?

When did it get so complicated n who's driving.
My inner child had a better grip.

When you're young you want to be older so you can get on with it.
When you're older you wish for the grace of innocence.
If it wasn't so sad it would be funny.
Then you push on, with hope for the future.


This post used to be 2 posts, upon reflection I did not like where either one went.
There was a much simpler point to be made, I hope I got there this time. 


Special Announcement

As soon as I get enough money I will commission 2 special Exclusive NEW Pez Outlaw items.

1. A black Pez Outlaw T shirt with the Pez Outlaw image on it.

My intent will be that these shirts will be made by Marcia Marshall
I believe in doing business with friends.
My experience with The Kids in The Hall T shirts tells me that XL n Mediums are good enough so as to simplify ordering but I will have a dozen or 2 of 2XL made because that's what I wear.

This is the Pez Outlaw image which will be on the black T's n the pin.
2. When I have the money I will commission a Pez Outlaw pin from the Pin Center.

I just wanted to share.
 


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Sunday, January 29, 2017

Yokoroko #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Money won't make me happy??????
But, I'm Willin To Try Real Hard. 
somebody said that, but I'm stealin it. 
I've worked over 10,950hrs on the Pez Outlaw project, which comes to almost 4yrs at 8hrs per day every day. 
The results so far are over 1million views of my work.

For lack of a better word, this image is original Pez Outlaw Art.
I've always loved images like this.
You can see all sorts of images in it.
The most obvious image is a Dog, but at different times you can see up to 3 or 4 others characters in it.

I've fooled around with this sort of thing for over 40yrs.
It's pointless but it amuses me.

I've used this post to go several places.
The last topic will be the launch of Pez Outlaw Blog.

***************************************************

I just watched a video of 2 guys messing with an alligator.
One held the tail while the other fool stuck his head in the mouth of the gator.
You guessed it, it did not go as expected.

Only a redneck would think that's a good idea.
Before you get all shirty on me, I'm a redneck so I can say that.

Problem was they thought they had that gator by the tail.

Life is a funny old thing.
folks think they got you just where they want you.
Then they are shocked when they get bit by the gator.

Best to figure out if you're the gator or the fools messing with a gator.

Yesterday someone asked me a question, well at least I thought they did.
Which brings me to my point.

If you ask me a question I will decide what I think, usually you will get an answer.
I do not understand people who can't make up there minds.
I've even met people who when faced with needing to decide actually look scared at the prospect.

Around here, we got a joke.
Whatcha Doin?
Long explanation.
Translation = Railing, you know against whatever you got.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Saturday, January 7, 2017

Tricky Brain Timeline. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I'm crossing streams a bit here.

A recent conversation triggered nostalgia about my years traveling all over the world in search of Pez.

I couldn't help thinking how lucky I was to have had this adventure and to have visited so many countries as a byproduct of my search.

England, France, Germany, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Austria, Slovenia, Hungary, Czech Republic, Slovakia, South Africa and Australia.

For 10 years I traveled roughly 10 times a year.

It was a very big n unexpected adventure, that sometimes now even seems very remote n unbelievable even to me.

josh n I just look at each other with a knowing look. Our lives are very different now but yeah we did that.

Oh yeah, almost forgot Spain. Josh also went to Italy, I missed that one, kinda burned out by then.

As unbelievable as all that was, we're not done yet. Stand by for news of the next even bigger chapter.

I believe in the impossible because I have already lived it, so why not again.
How hard could it be.

Like Tink said, you just have to believe, or was it Donald Trump who said it?

Yeah Josh, We Did That n We're Gonna Do It Again. So Hang On Tight n Keep Your Hands Off The Rip Cord.

Naked Brain

Each morning I come into the office to work n write.
To my left is a row of windows facing south with a view of the woods.
Today that view is obscured by a very heavy fog.
I can't see beyond the tree line.

This type of very heavy fog is a rare occurrence.

It's very disconcerting.
I take comfort in gazing at the familiar n unchanging.

I know whats there, it's always there. 
Today the familiar is shrouded, unclear.

I must have faith in something that I can no longer see.

I'm sure tomorrow the fog will lift and once again my woods will reveal itself.
Today though the fog leaves me in isolation, unsure. 

Originally this post was going to be a comparison of the methods people use online to attract followers. Basically how some of us are either dropping our pants or exposing our brains. How both are actually a form of nudity.

I deleted the content.

I always follow back after someone follows me on twitter.
I always friend back on facebook.
except pages I consider not in good taste.


From previous post. deleted because of low views.
recently a timeline on my life was requested.
As I've said I do not live in the past.
Each day is a new beginning.
Yesterday is a previous life.
But asked, I obey.

Timeline

3 - 11 Fighting trouble. Locked in school closets.

11 - 13 isms n crazy entered my brain, quit fighting, cousins brothers friends, just to many to fight

15 started drinking, brought home by cops drunk

16 thru 19 doing drugs, all drugs

17 n 18 joined marine corp. 30 days, Max security county jail.

early 19 got married n separated

late 19 met Kathy. been together since the day we met.

By 20 quit drugs n drinking never looked back

Crazy though lasted intensely 11 - 43

43 - 53 Pez years

6 to 7 year hiatus from crazy

50 to 60 crazy returned a bit

43 to present Pez Outlaw years

60 to present much better

see Chapter 11. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, #... for more details.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary





I Believe #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw.

Destiny is the result of decades of hard work.You must be in the right place at the right time with the right idea, prepared to meet destiny.
Timing, Tick the right Boxes, meet the moment in time with the story that reflects the mood.
Will the audience identify with the character, does he reflect them?
Is the character likable, is he sympathetic?
Will the audience root for him to win?

My interests and what I've been compelled to do have met timing several times so far in my life.
Will Pez Outlaw be bigger than my Pez years themself, I don't know.
I do know If you wait for destiny unprepared, you will most likely die medicated.
Life hands you nothing, you must fight for what you want.

Don't think that I can not see how what I do looks like from your perspective.
I can n I do, but when Pez Outlaw succeeds then you will realize how relentless you must be to achieve success and how foolish you will look in the eyes of others doing what it takes to achieve it. People only get it once it works.

The amount of time n work required to achieve your destiny leaves most by the side of the road.
To most you will appear insane because of the blind dedication required to rendezvous with destiny.
Your belief in yourself and your ability to get there must be matched by the time required.
You're going to leave a lot of people behind who tire of your dedication to the goal.
Only your truest friends will survive the journey.
It's the natural way of things.

What's been interesting is this.
In the beginning all I faced was doubt on all fronts as to the wisdom of my choice.
People got on with there lives while I continued in isolation.
For a decade polite comments on various accomplishments but still doubt.
Then a shift in the winds due to visible motion.
Faces that had been gone reappeared, interest rose for a time.
Now I wait again in isolation.

Very soon the jury will render it's verdict.
If the answer is Yes Forward, I will be thought a genius n everybody will say they knew I could do it. They had faith all along.
If the answer is No, the answer will appeal to human nature.
If not me then why you.
It's a spin on I'm Ok you're Ok.
Meaning if I achieve something through 15 years of hard work, the other person feels somehow less for not doing so. 
So better I fail than there sense of self worth be called into question.

I chose work.
I chose blind dedication.
I chose to sacrifice 15 years to get here.
You or they chose whatever it was you chose.

I've watched the disappointment of people who wish for Life but don't put in the time.
Years n decades are required to accomplish anything meaningful.
You are going to be alone in your belief that you can do it. 
People are going to look at you like you are crazy n it helps if you are.

Any time your goal falls outside normal thought.
"Normal" people are not going to see the good sense in your choice, especially if the odds look ridiculously not in your favor.
So approval had best not be needed by you in your quest.

Blind Determination, Dedication, Belief n to be honest the type of brain where honestly there is no other choice. You just simply must.

Jeff has said "Are You Ready for what's coming"?
I guess we'll see.
I think if I can watch it somewhat detached, not as the object of interest but as a fellow observer.
Then I think I'll be OK.
I believe that I have reasonable expectations and a realistic idea of how long the lights will be on.
I'm ready n I want to walk away. 
I seek closure as I have since 1998.

All I've ever wanted was to correct/fix what happened, to finish what I started.
I did not choose this fight but I did decided not to walk away.

So that's where we are.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Friday, January 6, 2017

The World Is Scary #Istandwithpolice #pezoutlaw #hollywood








The World Is Scary, What can I do?


Each new day is a gift, live it well. Behave personally in a proper responsible manner.
With family, friends and people you meet, keep any angry, aggressive or hateful thoughts to yourself.
Down South they have a way of dealing with rude people. They just say Bless Your Heart n politely move on.
Remember, in life almost always the things that you do not say are more important than the things you do say.
Be quick with a handshake, a hug or a kind word.

Me, I also tell a lot of stories about animals.
How kind n loving the horses n dogs are.
I love to point out the progress each are making.

Crazy one.
Yesterday Billy dog was barking at Roz/horse. Roz was grabbing at an uncut bale. Billy is beginning to have an opinion about that n things. Nat/Kathy's protege, scolded Billy. You know hardly ever wrong to tell Billy to knock it off.
I explained, not in recrimination, more lawyering for Billy.
I'm kinda going slow letting Billy have her head, letting her get some thoughts, then my hope is over time to guide her thoughts in useful directions.
So long as Billy is only barking I'm OK.

Sometimes like a child when the world is scary what people need is a good story.
Crazy/weird helps.

Yes I could be justifiably accused of hiding in my world from one I can not change.
But if each of us led good decent lives wouldn't that take care of a lot of it.
Beyond that all you can do is vote your conscience.


Kathy is the one that goes out into the world, I stay home.
But isn't everyone always sayin that you should leave your dog at home.
Anyway. My head is better today. I don't seem to suck as much.


Enough of world news for today. I'm tuning to Willie's Roadhouse till Billy Dog says it's chore time. 

One final thought. There are to many terrorists in the world n not enough Story Tellers.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




The Impossible, Why Not #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Yesterday for whatever reason Kathy looked at me n said How are we gonna handle all this.

Kathy seemed to be having a dawn or revelation of the impact of a coming storm.

I have not seen a unicorn yet but I expect to in the next few days. Don't ask me why but I believe that this is gonna happen. Maybe it's because daily I deal with the thought that I've got roughly 2 decades left, then none of it matters anyway. So I flip that n say, Why Not.

Which also was part of my answer on how we handle what I believe is coming. Why not, because life should be about the impossible becoming reality.

Plus this whole thing has been packaged into an entity. That entity is no longer me, it's a character that I have been in charge of writing his history for a decade now. So Why Not.

This would be naive of me if I hadn't already been down this road once before. I've already made the mistakes that the coming storm will bring. To that point. During the last decade as I have prepared Pez Outlaw I have gotten my feet firmly replanted on the ground as to what's important n what is not. I had no choice, poverty is a strict teacher. I've also instituted protocols to handle any outside noise or distraction.

Last time I was in the middle of the storm like Billy Dog running round n round. This time by the very nature of what I've constructed I will be outside looking in.

That's the plan anyway.

One final note. To my core I understand what is real n what are things other people enjoy or think cool. Others thought the story in Playboy was my dream come true. NO, not even in the ballpark. The story in Playboy was a means to an end. I had no feeling about it at all. You know good for Jeff, hats off n all that but in my life my reality, no. Think about it, how shallow n meaningless would my life be if a story in Playboy made my life worth living. No!

I Still owe the bank a bit over $150,000.00 from the Pez Outlaw years, that debt must be paid. That matters. Making some overdue changes here on the farm, that matters, that's important. Making it so Kathy does not have to work so hard, THAT MATTERS!

Best stop before I say more than I should or am allowed.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, January 5, 2017

5 stages of grief #pezoutlaw #hollywood


The K├╝bler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, postulates a series of emotions experienced by survivors of an intimate's death, wherein the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

With everything happening right now this has many applications n meanings.
That said, let's leave the broader analysis to better minds n better writers. 
I'm only an expert on my own experiences.

I've had an 18 year journey with the 5 stages of grief.
My entire life I felt an emptiness n longing for something.
In the 1990s in my 40s I finally felt I'd found the thing I'd been searching for.

In later years our lives are comprised of our memories.
With each of us one section of our life stands out to us as that time period that defines us.
For some it's High School, others it's war n the brotherhood they experienced, Birth, children n family.
My life defining period where I lived as I had dreamed to my whole life were my years as Pez Outlaw.

It's not important that my dreams manifested in the form of Pez dispensers.
What's important is that my yearning to achieve purpose n success independently was finally in my grasp.

I'd found my muse in Pez, something I could shape to find meaning and achieve my life's yearnings.
All went well for quite a while, I thought I finally had the world by the tail.

At the end of a decade I realized sometimes you think you've got the gator when in reality, the gator has you.
I set myself up for disaster when I brokered a 1/2 million dollar deal with Pez Corporation, unable to realize the treachery that lay just around the corner.

After years of beating Pez Corporation at every turn, I had begun to believe I was invincible.
I started believing my own myth.

What followed is well documented in Pez Outlaw Diary so I won't bore you here.
The short of it is I lost every penny.

That was 1998 n the year I started the 5 stages of grief that actually lasted for the next 18 years.

Denial
For the next 3 years 1998 thru 2001 I refused to accept what had happened n fought with everything I had to beat Pez Corporation.
In true David vs Goliath fashion I had a few wins.
I destroyed the marketability of the product that had been produced to destroy me.
I also believe that what I call The Pez Color War (see  C12. The Day I Died) led to the retirement of the President of Pez USA Scott McWhinnie.  

Reality though was my wins came at a very deep cost.
I lost almost everything I'd spent over 20 years building.
So, Denial I think covers it pretty good.
 
Anger
In 2001 I reached my anger phase which manifested itself as my book Pez Outlaw Diary , which I spent most of the next decade writing n rewriting.
My anger n hatred was palpable, I was like a mean old dog with a bone.
I honestly don't blame all the folks that ran away, just tired of hearing it.     

Bargaining
Bargaining took 2 forms, both of which occurred more or less at the same time starting in 2011. 
I created ebay listings for Pez Outlaw Diary  ,one to publish it as a book n the other for the movie rights.
At the same time I also created a chapter ( C13. Hollywood or Bust  )that can only be described as bargaining on many levels.

Depression
After the initial high of my genius plan (Sarcasm Sheldon) in bargaining, which lasted a year or so came depression.
My depression lasted about 3 years, say 2012 to 2015.
Depression is probably why I behaved like such a jerk to the Hollywood producer who initially contacted me in 2014.

Acceptance
In 2015 when Jeff Maysh contacted me about writing his story, I was finally at the acceptance stage in my grief.
I realized Pez Outlaw Diary had gone as far as I could take it, so this time I said yes. 
Jeff flew out from California n spent a weekend doing his interview.
Jeff's story The Pez Outlaw has since won 2 awards.

As jeff was in his car leaving I asked him to roll down his window.
Hey Jeff you should contact X movie producer who contacted me a year ago, I owe him for my jerk behavior.

Jeff did contact X movie producer n I am currently under contract for movie n book rights.
No comment beyond that.

So there are my 5 stages of grief.
see you at the movies.

Christmas Lights in Mid July.
Complete laziness or thinking ahead?
Well over halfway there, starting to look like a go getter.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Pez Outlaw - You're Welcome. #pezoutlaw

To My way of thinking there is no limit to the potential of the character Pez Outlaw.

The only limits to his success are the limits of the imagination of the writer.

Sinister but what the hell. 
What if the whole Pez thing n the Pez Outlaw character was only a cover used by an International Hit-man.

In context, after all this is Notes From The Asylum, So International Assassin, Why Not?
Were all those faxes to Germany about Pez Guns actually coded messages about weapons procurement? No wait that would make Pez Outlaw an International Arms Dealer not an Assassin. HMMMM, that's a possibility.

You tie all the timetables of Pez Outlaws travels to High profile assassinations all over the globe.
You're welcome.

The story of the travel, the crazy. That's just the premise to build from, a framework of facts to anchor the story.

Imagination could carry the rest. Like I've said go nuts, I just do not care.

After all, better to be busted for smuggling than as an International Assassin.

Do you really believe Pez Outlaw made all those Millions just buying n selling Pez? 

Pez Outlaw would not even get out of bed on a Hit for less than One Million Dollars. 

All I can tell you is this. When a certain writer from California we all know n love came here. I took him for a walk in the woods, where we came on a couple of prepared holes in the ground. The look on his face was "What The Hell?"

the holes are all filled in now.

It's the Asylum not Harvard. You expected poetry?

sorry took me a minute to catch that you're thing. 

The Time Travel one I will admit is only to emphasize silly.  

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Inoculating Against Celebrity. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I've always understood that if you seek to rise from the crowd, you become a target.
People who are condemned to mediocrity or failure need to find a reason or consolation for why you rose n no matter how hard they try, they can not. Some form of consolation. Therefore you must have cheated, been dishonest or simply are not a good person.

Mediocrity demands a tethered Goat.
Think I'm overly harsh? Look at all the examples of the mighty who fall n the glee that there decent is gossiped about.

That is precisely why when I started writing Pez Outlaw Diary I knew I had better expose my own skeletons myself. I knew that if I did not disclose everything myself, that the very second I achieved anything with Pez Outlaw Diary somebody would come along wishing to grab some limelight by telling tales.

So I wrote Chapter 11. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, S... . I knew that no matter how embarrassing my past might be, I wanted to achieve whatever was possible only with it being all out there, every step of the way.

What I did not figure into my reasoning was that CRAZY would become part of the persona of Pez Outlaw. Crazy became that part that was interesting n made him tick. Crazy is now an integral part of the Pez Outlaw brand.

Political strategists will always advise, get it all out there early, so that it can become old news.
The newer trend is to own it. Don't let others bully you with it.
So Pez Outlaw is Crazy. Yes of course he is, what's your point?

You used Heroin when you were a young man. Yes, what's your question?
Did you use other drugs as a young man? Yes, everything I could get my hands on.
Were you ever diagnosed as a schizophrenic? Yes, among other things, yes.
Have you ever been in jail? Yes, 30 days maximum security.

I've been told that very soon my life will be in the spotlight.
I figured I better highlight my negatives again before somebody else does.
To say the least, I am not a perfect person.
I strive to change, be better.

The Good n the bad, I am Pez Outlaw.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Elasticity of Reality #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I've been thinking a lot lately about reality and the myth/urban legend of Pez Outlaw.
The thought that my willpower can make Pez Outlaw whatever I want him to be.
That through determination and work I can affect the outcome of what's already in motion.
It's not enough to hook the fish, you actually have to get it into the boat n to the table for eating.

I have big dreams for Pez Outlaw, I need to work every day to see those dreams become reality.
I believe that I can influence the outcome.

What Pez Corporation is missing in all of this is, the perspective.
Who n What people perceive Pez Outlaw to be.
Daily I try to shape that perception.
In the end Pez Outlaw will be what people believe him to be, not a historical set of facts.

My goal is to help shape that persona.
I want Pez Outlaw to be about the struggle, the fight, the will power, the refusal to give up or give in.
It would be really cool if Pez Outlaw gave people hope, made them believe that you the little people could actually stand up for yourselves n win.
That money and power could be beaten by nothing more than your mind.

Call me crazy but I do believe that I can shape my reality with my mind, determination, the Internet and time.

Pez Corporation you are missing the point and that point is perception.
I refuse to accept the reality of Pez Corp the behemoth international all powerful colossus.
You Pez Corp are nothing more than a player in my story and I'm The writer of that story.

Very soon Pez Corp you will understand why Scott McWhinnie became so obsessed with Pez Outlaw. You will find an affinity with why Pez Outlaw drove Scott McWhinnie NUTS and made him do irrational things.

One final thought. 
Anybody from Pez Corporation could stand right in front of me today n I'd have no idea who they are.
I guarantee you that they all know who Pez Outlaw is. See what I mean, perspective.
It's the same as the old days when the Austrian executive saw me in Ormoz Slovenia n said "I Know Who You Are". Then abruptly turned n scurried off to the nearest land line.

I can write this because what, am I afraid you might think I'm crazy.
Look around you, we're in the Asylum.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Hollywood Hamster #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Please click adverts on my posts. otherwise I don't get paid. clicks are down.  

Hamster On A Wheel 

I have always felt driven to find my voice.
Through that voice possibly who I am.
Somehow Find the answers that have eluded me.

In my life I've ricochet from one thing to another.
One dream persisted, a book.
Funny idea for a guy who never read a whole book till he was 30.

Some kind of dyslectic? A.D.D. ?
I don't know, just couldn't focus long enough to finish a paragraph.
I mean I could read a page but at the end I had no Idea what I'd read.
My mind just could not settle down enough to read it n retain it.

It took years of tedious work building bridges, connections from one side of my brain to the other side.

The change came in the 1990s when I was in my 40s.
The Pez trips gave me a sense of peace.
I read 2 to 3 books per trip.

With the crush that followed the collapse of my Pez World,
I found my voice in the pain n depression.
I began writing Pez Outlaw Diary as therapy.
I understand that as a book it's messed up. 
That might be because it's raw emotion n the struggle again to find my voice.
I've always felt that a good editor could sort out Pez Outlaw Diary for publication.

I needed Pez Outlaw Diary to clear my head. 
Writing Pez Outlaw Diary gave me the confidence I needed to move on
Walking away from Pez Outlaw Diary was only possible by creating Notes from the Asylum.
I needed to continue sorting things out in a new setting. 

Notes From The Asylum leaves the pain of Pez Outlaw Diary behind, But continues the search for who I truly am.
I've been an Alcoholic, a Drug abuser, an obsessive collector, a farmer, a shop worker n a very angry person.
Most people fear a statement like that one, for me it is what it is.
I'm evolving, what's behind me is my past, required steps in the journey.
Each day is it's own, a new chance to do better.


In Notes from the Asylum I try to understand what was under all of it.
Was it all a part of my quest to find my voice?
Obviously everything led me to here.

A Pez Outlaw Book will probably happen in the next 2 years.
I'm starting to understand though that Pez Outlaw is not the voice I've been searching for.
Pez Outlaw is his own voice, the voice of a decade of my life.
The Pez Outlaw book is a required step on my journey.
Notes from The Asylum is the voice of my entire life.
I'm beginning to believe Notes From The Asylum is the voice I've been searching a lifetime for.

My secret ambition has always been to leave a book behind when my time is up.
Now it's to leave at least 2 books behind, Pez Outlaw by Jeff n myself.
Plus Notes from The Asylum.
The odds improve every day that both might happen.

I believe that the irony would be clear.
A guy that had a hard time reading n understanding a book for half his life wrote 2 books.

I'm not interested in a quick fix.
I don't want anything that would invalidate my struggle. 
My goal is to complete my journey. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

EEEK! It's a mouse. Who poohed on the carpet? #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

This is obviously a Metaphor for Fear n Disaster?

The Presidents in Hawaii n Hollywood is Skying.
Me I'm here in the Midwest freezin my Hoo Hass off n shovelin snow.

What I fear n the disaster I dread is obvious to all who have been reading Notes From The Asylum so why rehash it.
It's the time of year where we find ourselves reflecting on Friends lost. 

Lately I seem to be abandoning temper fused outbursts in favor of stories or just talking.
Throwing out the Rant n going with an aside.
☑️ The Stonecrete Murders  is one of the best examples, it was a rant about I can't remember now it's Old Sparky.
No point, just what's happening.

The only time I feel really in control of anything anymore is when I'm on the tractor.

Muted I wait.
50/50 at best.
No news is good news?

Lately I've been telling Kathy, No More Crazy Dogs!
Laurie says we're running a Horse Rescue.
Please God let that not be so, even if it's true.

The evidence is Damning.
Best not make that list.
Staring at a picture of Arnold Palmer, waiting on a miracle.

Is it possible a Demigod in a Straight Jacket will be my salvation? 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Delusion Dissolution #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw.


My life is like an emotional roller coaster without the highs. I doubt very much that I live in the real world. My guess is that I fabricate a reality that I find more entertaining because reality bites.

Unfortunately when my world dissolves i get depressed by the reality that is left.

I can't tell you the number of times that I've been offered help for "FREE" with my writing in Pez Outlaw etc. I have rejected all offers. My writing style is very purposeful, some is even intentional.
I present my thoughts in the style that I wish them to be viewed in. You either get it or you don't, to me it's the same thing as not everybody is a country music fan.

In conversations about Pez Outlaw as a published book, It has been suggested that I should read some biography's to get an idea of how it's done. Well, here's the bad news, for about 20 years due to my particular mental???? Biographies were all I read. So I understand what a correct Biography looks like.

Let me ask you. Am I Thomas Edison, William Randolph Hearst or Howard Hughes? No, so if I'm going to ask you to spend money n time reading about me, I had better get to the point as to why. Very little of my childhood is of any interest unless it actually is interesting.

Delusion Dissolution. Whatever, Don't care. I love those two words together, they tickle me.
The only reason I write anything is because it pleases, ME! I'm certainly not getting paid to do it in any meaningful way so it better be something I do for pleasure.
 
Of course this is all void if I'm paid n asked to do it there way. What can I say, I'm a whore once I've been paid.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Destiny #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw


 The thing about always being underestimated and written off as crazy is that it frees you up to maneuver n work without hindrance.

It feels like High School in this regard.
Will I be asked to the dance? Of course you will sweetheart it's a really good story.
Ok you've been invited to the dance. Now question is am I pretty enough to be at the dance?
Will I be Prom Queen?

Nobody forbade me from talking about High School or The Prom. 

I never have been able to take a passive role on my own destiny.
Notes From The Asylum is meant to be a way to keep the Pez Outlaw name out there.
If anyone is putting pen to paper, a way to give insight.

For my handlers, this is one of many.
For me this is it.

I expect great things for Pez Outlaw, because I will not yield until they happen.
If I don't give Pez Outlaw 100%, who will?
I have set aside 3hrs every day for almost 15 years to promote Pez Outlaw.
This will continue. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Narcissism, Evolution, Legacy. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

On a couple of my posts here I've told you how I live in two worlds. 
Writing in Notes from the Asylum is honing of a skill or picking at a scab.
I'd like to make another attempt and see if I can get it right. 

For over a decade now I've needed to be an unashamed narcissist. 
Paying attention to only what I'm doing. 
A type of tunnel vision on my goal.

Since I started writing in Notes From The Asylum I've been able to confine this narcissism to only my mornings, 10am to 2pm. 
1998 to approx 2010 while I wrote Pez Outlaw Diary, it was all consuming.
Somewhere between 2010 n when I met Jeff Maysh in October of 2014 I started cooling down.


Always puzzles me when people are put off when they discover crazy, yet what drew them to me n the story was about is crazy.
I'm shocked, shocked I tell ya, that he's crazy.

A year ago I created Notes From The Asylum so that I'd quit picking at the scab that is Pez Outlaw Diary anymore.
I realized that I had a lot more to say but that it did not belong in Pez Outlaw Diary.
After working/talking to Jeff Maysh for 10 months with him playing the part of my Rabi, the person I could confide in, I created Notes From The Asylum as an alternative outlet for me emotionally.

I can only imagine what Jeff n others think of Notes From The Asylum, but the truth is that I have helped myself get better in the Asylum.
I have achieved more movement forward in my year with the Asylum than I did in a decade with Pez Outlaw Diary.

I realize I could not be here in the Asylum without my decade of writing in Pez Outlaw Diary but in the Asylum I'm not bound by one topic.
Pez Outlaw Diary by it's nature was confined to Pez, what I and Pez corporation did.
Notes From The Asylum allows me to go anywhere, to move on.

Pez Outlaw Diary required a 24/7/365 Narcissist.
Notes From The Asylum is part time 10am to 2pm.
I can and do now move on each day after 2pm to my other life.

Five+ years ago another factor entered Kathy n my life, that I'm never allowed to share.
Because of this I've moved toward Kathy's world to be of whatever use I can be.
Eb (Green Acres) was born.

This also changed me, it helped me pull out of the Pez Outlaw tunnel vision and to a better me.
A true partner for Kathy. To become the person my mother n Kathy always had faith was there.
I'm allowed to self indulge my demons for 4 hours each day, then because of that gift I am ready each day to emerge n be somebody else.

I want to see Pez Outlaw's story fulfilled, but after that I think I'm getting to the point where I will be ready to move on.
I just need on a personal level to wrap Pez Outlaw's story up in a nice little bow.
I need and now want to do this not only for myself but for my family.
I'd like to leave Pez Outlaw behind for my family, something they can be proud of.


Another change has also happened besides becoming more at peace as a person, something I never knew in the first 60 years of my life.
That is that I kinda know when something I wrote is any good. I like this one.
In Pez Outlaw Diary I wrote out of anger. 
In Notes From The Asylum, I write because I enjoy it and I find it fulfilling to express my thoughts. 

I guess the Narcissist isn't completely gone, Because I know that this post is one of the better ones. Truth be told, if you don't believe in yourself, how do you figure anybody else is gonna. 

It's a tricky line to walk, Narcissist vs a person others actually like.
Luckily I'm only a narcissist from 10am to 2pm?
Then hopefully I transform into........ ME. 

Swear to God, I've got so many isms/crazy going on up there that a feller could write a book.
Nope, wait...... I did. 

In the end I believe I will be asked. Why do you think the Pez Outlaw story caught on, basically what's the reason you succeeded out of everyone who tries? Because I was relentless, I gave 100% effort. 



Here's how outa touch I am. I had to ask, Are these real?
I hear that they are. Tina Christison Gunsauls is sending me a set.
I now have a Pez collection. Scooby n the gang. plus my Pez Outlaw Truck.

Scooby n Shaggy are my all time favorite classic cartoon characters.

I guess I have no idea what's been happening in Pez for the last 10 years. You know life n stuff, oh yeah n obsessing. A lot of that.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary





WARNING! Will Robinson. WARNING! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Funny Story as a soft lead in. I actually used to sell Pez to Will Robinson n Eddy Munster.  Billy Mummy n Butch Fitzpatrick. I also sold Pez to others in Hollywood but through agents etc, never knew who they were. Now I sell cereal boxes to movie prop people occasionally. Oh yeah n that naked girl floaty pen Booth used as a prop earlier years on Bones, mine. I only share this now because it's been a decade (statute of limitation on secrets) n they are good stories.

I was asked recently. Wait, are you saying that you would do publicity?
You won't leave the Farm, You won't talk on telephones, but you're saying you would do publicity.


Under the right conditions Yes, Yes I would do publicity, if you are really sure that's what you want.
My wish list of conditions to do publicity for a Pez Outlaw Movie.
1. A very large Body Guard.
2. Point to point transportation.
3. A very compressed schedule, jam everything you want into as small a time frame as possible.
Under those conditions I'd go anywhere in the world you like, meet n talk with anyone you like.

I would wade through a pool of POO up to my chin to take care of my family.
Being rather poor, I hate to admit it to you but I kinda have already. Literally.
So I actually said that out loud?

I'm sorry, truly I am for the coarse imagery, sometimes just spelling it out in literal terms is the only way to get the precise point across.

No matter what, I will not talk on telephones. I guess by now you could call that one a phobia.
Other than that though, I am a WHORE, if you pay me.

Well, that cost me 1 friend on facebook.

OOOH! Sorry I got distracted, you were saying?


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

I'm a High Functioning Schizophrenic #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw



An alphabet soup of crazy, like pin the tail on the donkey, let's just pick one.

9 out of 10 Doctors agree, Schizophrenic.

What this means is that I select the personalities in my group and that I can expel personalities that annoy me.

Unfortunately once I expel a personality from my group I can no longer control it.

Now if this had a cute Minion image next to it, everybody would think it was funny.





After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary









benign innocuous #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I'm to lazy to look these words up but I'm sure they are the correct words to define my thought.

With political correctness in the sense of, I do not want to offend anybody. Our language has gotten very benign n innocuous. For me this effort not to offend has gotten to the point of being offensive. Yes I'm back on ebay rating me as above standard.

Seriously, what kind of robot's have taken over the world language is that?

I find myself puzzled n offended.

Getting wound up about stupid is probably the funniest thing a person can do.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

As The Worm Turns #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I'm hoping 2017 will have exciting news for the Pez Outlaw Story. 
I will tell you what I can if and when Jeff says it's OK.
Anyway, Here's hoping.

Can't let this slide.
Another darn free horse arrived yesterday making the count 19 horses on the farm.
Seriously, enough already.
I'm going through 9 to 10 bales of hay per day, minimum.
At this rate the 25 to 2700 bales we bought will run out very early spring n we will be buying more.

I love the horses n I get it that our farm is a desired place for someone to place there horse.
But anybody else wanna start taking some of these free horses?
My New Years wish is, NO MORE FREE HORSES.

Since I got my tractor back from repairs I've been playing in Mudd.
As much as 18 inches at times.
Manure waits for no man.
19 horses create a lot of manure.

I'm heading out early today, yes to play in the mud.
I put the snow chains on the front tires.
No snow so far but a big help in mud.

Have a really wonderful New Year, we all deserve one.
I'll try to get us off on a good foot by starting the New Year playing in the mud. 

promted by advert on facebook.
What part of work boot asks for or needs the word Stylish.
My work boots are covered in a thick layer of mud. That's Stylish. 
Kathy washed my work coat, next day covered in mud again. 
I've also gone through 4 pair of jeans in 4 days, casualties of mud war.
Good times spanking around in mud making snow/mud angels, Good times.
Gotta go, Time To Get Muddy. 

One last thing. I get tweets from Fortune Wealth types trying to reach out to me about success.
Kinda crazy, guys in suits trying to connect with a guy that plays in mud.
I'm Just Saying, weird huh. Yeah I'll be sending you money straight away, NO! n HELL NO!
Possibly the only guy you know that thinks getting bolt cutters and a truck load of bank run/dirt for Christmas is really cool.

I was going to make this post a long deal about my pet peeves.
One problem with that, not that much is really bothering me as we sit down together today.
I seem to be in a pretty good place right now.

Mind you that I'm in a fare mood is fighting the odds, because last night was a big ole full moon.
Usually my old friend depression seems to show up with the full moon each month.
I did a quick internal check n nope I'm OK.

This has been a pretty good year, all in all.
Pez Outlaw had a story in the April Playboy.
I haven't that I know of done anything to make anybody really hate me. PEZ?

The coming year holds much promise.


Pet Peeve
I'll give 110% or 1000%.
Start with the obvious, IT"S IMPOSSIBLE.
Even if you work 10 hours a day, at best you are giving 50% of your days efforts.



Pez Outlaw Diary




Monday, January 2, 2017

Fence Post, post. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Poverty, Struggle, Life. Forgive me though. this is still my favorite picture ever.
It represents so much.
Did You Know?

Did you know that an insurance company will void the insurance on a barn if your electric fencer is located inside it?
Well Shit add another job to the list of things I gotta do.

Every since the invention of electric fences for farms the fencer has been located in the barn to keep it out of the elements.
Our insurance "Farm Bureau" notified us that we had until the 17th of last month to get Old Sparky outa the barn.


The challenge, find a dry location near the fence with an outlet.
Sounds like a job for Redneckology, The Barrel Book .
Pictures will be required.




Access slot is on outlet but turns to access fencer

Stone-crete, This basically is a country driveway that is not concrete or blacktop.
Dig 4 to 6 inches down, fill with bankrun (1 parts ea sand, clay, stones) top with crushed limestone, 1 inch per year for 3 yrs.
When life is good, all pasture entrances are composed this way also.
N that's where digging in stone-crete comes into play when running wire underground to connect various sections of fence together.

1st effort hooking up Old Sparky in  its new location did not work.
It's a wiring/grounding issue.
I swear Todd n Larry each musta told me at least twice on various times in my life that you can not use a T-post for a ground rod. 
So yup you guessed it I tried using a T-post again.
The reason I suppose I try doing this at least 3 times in 40 years is T-post are on hand, I've always got one handy.
On the other hand, a good ground rod you gotta go buy one, so I keep trying to use Handy ole T-posts.

Why won't T-posts work as ground rods?
1, T-posts are made of a junky kinda metal, not good steel.
2, T-posts are painted, which means that the steel such as it is does not actually touch the dirt as effectively as needed.
Upshot I gotta dig up the old ground rod to put in the new location or buy a new rod.
Either = a pain in my ass. 

To my complete surprise I was able to pull the old 8ft ground rod out of the ground using vice grips, rope n the tractor.
I then hammered it back into the ground at the new location, almost 8ft in ground.
I left 3inches above ground to fasten wires to.



I also dug a 12ft long trench 6inches deep to bury an additional ground wire. 


NEXT

Talk about the perfect 3 stooges moment.
Yesterday while working on the horse shed I got a 4x4 to the back of the head.
30 mile n hour winds will do that.

The cat has been killing birds in the rafters of the horse arena.
Good as far as it goes but she's not eating them.
Told her I heard it tastes like chicken, she's not buying.

My last post on twitter was on Saturday.
It read, 14 new followers on twitter today.
Well topped that with 200 new followers on twitter in last few days.

Problem was I couldn't see it.
My computer was on strike yesterday.
So I just went outside n worked on the new projects.

Project 1.
Old 24x24 barn. right side of pic. sorry only pic I could find. It's actually taller than it looks. It's sorta in a hole/very low area.

Move old tin barn.
Actually tear it down n rebuild it smaller.
24x24 to 10 by 15 feet.







above 3 pics are rebuilt 10x15 horse shed
Almost done.
You might gather from the pic, I avoid the sun.
The following are pics of the completed Horse shed.
This tin shed is one solid little puppy

The following are pics of 3 horses shed is for.
clockwise Robin Hood aka Jimmy, Tenny n Bo.


At 65 when working outside in the heat I move so slow that I'm almost imperceptible. 
Little Smoke n I call it Ninja pace, we figure if we move slow enough we can walk through anything unscathed.

Project 2.
Put a circle drive where the old tin barn was.
Which requires moving the fence.
So basically both projects are tied together.

The old gray tin barn is the last building from the 1980 n before.
Problem was when I was much younger I didn't realize I was putting it up in a wet mucky area.
The circle drive just gave me a good excuse to move it n rebuild it.

By reducing it from a poor barn of 24x24 to a horse shed of 10x15 I'm able to make it a farely nice building.
At 24x24 the building sucked to look at n truth be told it was a bit shaky.
It really was an eyesore.

I can report that the new horse shed is turning out real nice.
FYI, a horse shed is a smallish building in a pasture that horses go in to rest from heat or escape bad weather.
Horse sheds are open on 1 side that faces east.

Now for the cool stuff.

The original 24x24 building was approx 50 years old.
I got it used in about 1980 from a neighbor n I think it had 2 locations here.
That old tin building will be on it's 4th life when I finish the 10x15 horse shed. 

That kind of thing tickles me.
I love proper recycling through reuse.
Get one more life out of something by seeing it different.

The best part is this.
Inside that old building were 6 pieces of telephone poles used as corners etc.
above 2 pics fence posts for circle drive that were once pole barn pole, before that telephone poles


These poles started life after being trees 75 years ago as telephone poles.
Approx 50 years ago these poles became part of this building.
After 75 years of work n rot there still was 7.5ft of good usable pole left.

Those 75 year old telephone pole are probably on there 4th life now as really good fence posts for the circle drive.
My guess is that they will last at least another 25yrs as fence posts.
That's a century of life n use.



above 3 pics are low area that needs buildup for circle drive.
Dirt n crushed cement fill used for 2foot buildup under drive. will finnish with 4 inches of bank run.

The circle driveway is now at phase 2. Base is completed. Now we wait till fall after ground settles to top with bankrun. Meantime we fill in the low area. In some spots I had to build up approx 3ft.
Now
This project from tearing down old barn, rebuilding n filling hole for circle drive took about 4weeks.
The hole that all the dirt came from.
pic is deceptive. back wall of hole is 4 to 5 feet deep. I will fill hole with horse manure over the next year. Horse manure is unlike any other type manure, it's like processed grass not yucky at all. very organic.

As far as the low area where the old tin barn was that will now be a circle drive.
It's gonna take a lot of buildup to raise its level to that of the drive it becomes a part of.
Not a problem, that's what the tractor n I do.

Pulled out 3 more tree stumps yesterday, that makes 8 removed from circle drive area.
There is one more, not sure I can get that one?
It took the tractor n the truck to get last 3.
Dirt work has begun.




So far this project has an out of pocket cost of $120.00

Bonus pics. New Wild Flowers around the house have started Blooming.
very small fraction of coming blossoms. Now if I can just keep grandkids from picking them to give to there mom or grandma.
Raspberries

At The beginning of last summer I planted the row to the left of Raspberries.
Here's the amazing thing, I planted root.
By late last summer I had berries.

I mowed after pics.
Shoulda done it other way round.
Set it up so I can mow each side of rows.

below 5/21/16

above
Row to right, 1 year old.
Pots to left, planted last fall.
above. Better pic of 1 year old plants

1 year olds

above 1 year olds, note new plants that are coming up.

above
new raspberry seedlings, just planted
next to house

above
new raspberry seedlings, just planted
beside building
row is 40 ft long 
will update pics end of summer

I will update progress with pics mid to late summer.

below

Poo project, land reclamation.
I talk a lot about working on the tractor hauling horse poo.
Each spring I have to remove all the winter buildup.
Below are pics of where all that poo goes.
The lighter sandy colored area is what was.
The darker crescent of ground at the back is all new.
This whole area starts at 5ft above the low area it covers.

That's it for this spring.
I'll pick it back up next spring.
From here I go back to the old project to the right.

Next project, grapes on south side of warehouse



Hay
Thanks to the Best hay crew EVER, Joshua Glew, Heidi Jo Glew, Moriah Newman, Matt Newman, Laurie Svendsen n Kathy Glew
Over 1,000 bales in 2 days.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


I wish I could make the head on my new image ratchet left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.

 






Just did google search on Pez Outlaw movie. Nothing yet.