Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Old Children #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Just got to sneezing so hard I had to grab the back of my head to keep it from fallin off.

Outhouse by Willie Makit
Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel
School Truancy by Marcus Absent
Rusty Bedsprings by I. P. Freely
Under The Bleachers by Seymour Butts 

These jokes are not new.
As a matter of fact these jokes are probably older than I am.

I also find that I have a renewed appreciation for Knock Knock Jokes.
My grandchildren can tell me the stupidest joke n I'll think it's just great.
As a matter of fact the stupider a joke is, the more I like it.

These jokes made me laugh when I was 8 years old n they make me laugh today.
Which hasta make you wonder.

Why is it that Old Men have the same sense of humor as there 8yr old self's did?
Does it have something to do with having seen a lot n yearning for a simpler time?

When did it get so complicated n who's driving.
My inner child had a better grip.

When you're young you want to be older so you can get on with it.
When you're older you wish for the grace of innocence.
If it wasn't so sad it would be funny.
Then you push on, with hope for the future.

This post used to be 2 posts, upon reflection I did not like where either one went.
There was a much simpler point to be made, I hope I got there this time. 

Special Announcement

As soon as I get enough money I will commission 2 special Exclusive NEW Pez Outlaw items.

1. A black Pez Outlaw T shirt with the Pez Outlaw image on it.

My intent will be that these shirts will be made by Marcia Marshall
I believe in doing business with friends.
My experience with The Kids in The Hall T shirts tells me that XL n Mediums are good enough so as to simplify ordering but I will have a dozen or 2 of 2XL made because that's what I wear.

This is the Pez Outlaw image which will be on the black T's n the pin.
2. When I have the money I will commission a Pez Outlaw pin from the Pin Center.

I just wanted to share.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Yokoroko #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Money won't make me happy??????
But, I'm Willin To Try Real Hard. 
somebody said that, but I'm stealin it. 
I've worked over 10,950hrs on the Pez Outlaw project, which comes to almost 4yrs at 8hrs per day every day. 
The results so far are over 1million views of my work.

For lack of a better word, this image is original Pez Outlaw Art.
I've always loved images like this.
You can see all sorts of images in it.
The most obvious image is a Dog, but at different times you can see up to 3 or 4 others characters in it.

I've fooled around with this sort of thing for over 40yrs.
It's pointless but it amuses me.

I've used this post to go several places.
The last topic will be the launch of Pez Outlaw Blog.


I just watched a video of 2 guys messing with an alligator.
One held the tail while the other fool stuck his head in the mouth of the gator.
You guessed it, it did not go as expected.

Only a redneck would think that's a good idea.
Before you get all shirty on me, I'm a redneck so I can say that.

Problem was they thought they had that gator by the tail.

Life is a funny old thing.
folks think they got you just where they want you.
Then they are shocked when they get bit by the gator.

Best to figure out if you're the gator or the fools messing with a gator.

Yesterday someone asked me a question, well at least I thought they did.
Which brings me to my point.

If you ask me a question I will decide what I think, usually you will get an answer.
I do not understand people who can't make up there minds.
I've even met people who when faced with needing to decide actually look scared at the prospect.

Around here, we got a joke.
Whatcha Doin?
Long explanation.
Translation = Railing, you know against whatever you got.


I'm breaking up the band.

Over the next week I will be removing Pez related posts from Notes From The Asylum.
The reason for this is that I hope to sell Notes From The Asylum as a book of it's own original content completely separate from Pez Outlaw Diary someday.

There will be exceptions, 3 posts come to mind.
These 3 posts are very serious earners for Notes From The Asylum.
I will need to vet them for content overlap into Pez Outlaw Diary because I really don't want to lose them.
These 3 posts are below
Pez Today #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA
The Adventures of Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood...
To Dream #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw 

What you may or may not have noticed is that there was a lot of overlap between the Pez related posts here n Pez Outlaw Diary.
Can't have that if I want Notes From The Asylum to stand on its own n untangled.

Therefore I'm going to create a blog called Pez Outlaw Blog.
For post currently in Notes From The Asylum that are transferred over to the New Pez Outlaw Blog I will create links below.

One final note.
As views currently held by these posts are not transferable, I will be adding at the top of each post a notation called views before transfer for my own accounting reasons.

Transferred posts links below.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, January 15, 2017

The Adventures of Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

24 years ago at the age of 44 I began the decade that in a lot of ways will define my life.

The Pez Outlaw story is the best n most entertaining story in the entire history of Pez.
Let me be very clear. Nothing in the entire history of Pez is as interesting as the Pez Outlaw Story. 
The History of Pez is a complete snooze fest without the Pez Outlaw story. 
I state this fact without hesitation.

Even the story of how n why Edward Haas created Pez kinda sucks compared to
The Adventures of Pez Outlaw. It's interesting but by comparison only a trivia fact.

To critics or offended by statements so far. 
You have to step forward in life if you want to be counted.
If you won't proudly state your case, Trust Me, nobody else is gonna do it for you.

A few years ago a guy on ebay innocently decided to make his user name Pez Outlaw.
People on ebay hounded him about the infraction until I receive an unsolicited apology from him
saying he had no idea n that he would change it immediately.
I was totally unaware of the situation till he contacted me.
Interesting fact. My ebay user name is sj glew, I don't even use Pez Outlaw there.

There is only ONE Pez Outlaw.
Unlike say pezdude 1 thru 300.
The story defines the name n vise versa.
If this is not your story then you are not Pez Outlaw, it's a simple as that.
The story so clearly defines the name Pez Outlaw that if you try to use it, you are acting as an impostor.

Here's the thing the above statements are where we are now n we aren't done yet.
Please Understand, Pez Outlaw is a character that houses a significant portion of my life.My job now is to manage him. 

Hookers n Pez

Probably my 3rd or 4th trip to Europe out of over 70.
All told Josh probably came to Europe with me buying Pez 4 to 5 times + 1 solo trip of his own.
Josh was in college at the time, I needed to quit leaning on him n start doing this on my own.

This trip was intended to be a quick trip of just a few days. In n out just to get more truck pez dispensers. As I said they sold out in just a few days, which shocked me. The rest of the pez dispensers I bought on my first meet with Gunther were hard to find but I had had them before from Canada. The pez trucks though were unknown at the time as they were exclusive to Hungary. They had been created at Pez Gyoroplaste when the old C class pez truck molds had been reused to start up the factory.

I flew in n out of the Budapest airport. On this trip Gunther sold me appox 3,000 of the C class truck Pez dispensers. Orange, yellow n pink cabs with black stem Pez dispensers. Man was this exciting, early days, a really rare Pez dispenser n they sold very fast. This was also the first time I stayed at the Raba. something Scott McWhinnie would have killed to know.  I kept the Raba Hotel a closely guarded secret until well after my trips to Europe buying pez had ended.

 I bagged the truck Pez dispensers, checked out of the hotel n drove from Gyor to the Budapest Airport. Turned my car in n went to the gate to check my bags. This is where things went horribly wrong. 

This is where I credit determination as what saved the day. That n I have never yielded in the face of authority. You say I must, my first response is always, no I don't think I will. I will find a way. A lot of people have tried to break me in this life or tried to tell me who's boss, it never works. I will eat dirt first.

At check in Budapest airport I was greeted by a cold war throwback customs inspector. He wanted to see my bill of sale, though what I realized the next day was he really wanted a bribe. Problem was I never got a bill of sale from Gunther, again that whole gray area of business thingy. Boris says to me after a long conversation, " well just check in take your flight n your bags will follow later". Yeah right Boris I don't think so. Delta offered to rebook me tomorrow same time no extra cost. Great, got my car back, took my bags n drove back to the pez yellow house. Luckily Gunther was in Austria so I was able to talk an underling into writing me up a bill of sale for the Pez dispensers.

Not wanting to fool around with the hotel for just one night. Cost of room plus tips to get the duffel bags up n down from the room. I decided to just spend the night in the McDonals parking lot, as I had noticed earlier that truckers used it. What I had not realized was that a lively trade went on all night also by prostitutes. I'm all for free enterprise but early in the morning a group of them n there pimp woke me up. Business for the night had died down n I think it was time for another type of business. Doors locked I was out of there n at the airport in record time to spend the rest of the night.

Next morning at check in n no Boris. I mean no customs guy at all. There I stood with a difficultly acquired bill of sale n nobody wanted to see it. I showed it to Delta n they could have cared less. On my way to the gate I spotted ole Boris watching me from around a corner wishing for the good old days. Boris, pimps, prostitutes n Mickey Ds. Just a quick trip in n out that I would never forget.

I never flew through Budapest airport again. My business had a steep learning curve, learn it n don't repeat it.

Prostitutes. Being from the Midwest, until I started traveling in the old Eastern block countries buying Pez dispensers. I had no experience with Prostitutes, let alone aggressive ones. My first exposure to this was Josh n my first trip into Hungary. At that time approximately 1994 there were nearly 3 miles of roadside stands along the main drag before you got to Gyor. These stands were open 24 hours selling clothing, stuffed animals, fruits, vegetables, pop, garden gnomes, just all kinds of stuff. The stands were frequented by travelers n long haul truckers. Before they cracked down it was also one of the main areas of prostitution n let me tell you it was not subtle. If you stopped n got out of your car you were approached by at least by 3 different women.

Later once the new freeway opened n killed the roadside stands, the girls moved to just outside city limits of Gyor on the main road. In the summer it got pretty interesting, thin material slacks that were more like black panty hoes, very tightly worn. Out n out flashing by lifting there tops as you drove by to get your attention. This was the case outside a lot of the bigger cities in the old eastern block countries we traveled in, in the early days of my travels. Not to mention nightly activities at Micky Ds on the highway to Budapest. There was also a Gypsy woman (Gypsies are looked down on by most Hungarians) that had a group of girls in downtown Gyor who always approached me on the way to Pizza Hut. Sometimes it was like running a gauntlet.

I never cheated on Kathy in any way shape or form. Though being male n not dead I did find it interesting. The single most interesting encounter was while walking to supper. I was approached by an absolute stunner of a woman. Who asked for a cigarette & invited me in the bar to buy her a drink. If ever I was truly tempted that was the time. Quickly though I heard Kathy's warnings in my head, how THINGS would shrivel n die if I did. I quickly gave n lit her cigarette, then almost ran to the restaurant. Besides I had strict rules about dealing with people on the streets in Europe, that was not to at all. To the point of if approached, actually telling one person to get away from me. Never robbed even though quite often I had almost $10,000.00 cash, in my trouser pockets. By keeping strictly to myself n protecting my personal space, I really never had any problems.

About driving around in Hungary. I never learned any of the names of roads or addresses. Once I left the airport in Vienna I just knew where to go. To this day it would all be from memory, which highway east, where to get off. How to get to the middle man & the Raba. I have no idea what the names of any of the roads are, I just know how to get there.

One very strong memory of Hungary is driving through Movar (a town with a really long name that people who live there just call Movar) at night on my way to Gyor. The air was filled with the smell of coal burning to heat homes. The two lane road lit up by street lights. Houses n businesses all right next to the sidewalk, so much so that it seemed everything was crowding the street. Listening to a tape of Enigma as I drove. That first night is my most vivid memory of Hungary, it all had a very 1950s feel to it. The weather in Gyor is very much like the weather here in Michigan.


Pez Outlaw - SJ Glew, The biggest Pez Dealer in the world for 5 years in the 1990s. Spent more than 2 million dollars buying over 2 million Pez dispensers. Made over 70 trips to Europe buying Pez, paying bribes and smuggling Pez dispensers. Pez Outlaw had a very big impact on an entire line of Pez Corporate product causing the Pez Color War.  Over 20 Pez Dispensers were produced in direct result of Pez Outlaw activities by Pez Corporation. Distribution procedures in place for decades were altered because of Pez Outlaw Activities. Author of Pez Outlaw Diary. pezoutlaw.com
On one trip Gunther Leitner sold me aprox 50 boxes of Silver glow Pez dispensers. If I remember correct each box contained 24 carded Silver glow Pez dispensers. At this point Josh n I were staying in Austria so back to our hotel we went. At the Austria Hungary border the Austrian guards required a bond on the 50 boxes of Pez dispensers to be refunded when items were checked in at the airport. So we went back to the hotel n down packed the 50 boxes of pez into 3 large boxes of pez. When we got to the airport customs refused to refund my bond, saying 3 boxes is not 50. Where are the other 47 boxes of pez? The scene escalated till what the Delta airlines rep saw when he walked into the room was. An American with a pony tail & long beard screaming at officials. Two machine gun armed Austrian border guards looking on at the ready n Josh petrified at the whole scene. Delta walked in calmed everybody down, gave Josh a couple aspirin & mediated the whole situation. I flew Delta Airlines from then on, they never failed to stand up for me in any situation.

Here's the fantasy segment I would inserted at the peak of the previous heated discussion.
This Fantasy insert to be placed at the peak of tension.
Viewed as a 60 second sequence where I mentally pause from reality for a few seconds, scene runs, return to reality.

At the beginning of the Fight scene dream sequence have my action hero doppelganger say to the camera. "Cool I also speak French".
Then during the fight have him saying the stupidest stuff imaginable, like where's the bathroom I have to pee.
Have the actor really sell the lines like they are Fight type trash talk.
Use subtitles to let the audience in on the stupidity of me thinking my hero side can actually speak french.
You know cause I'm just that cool in my imagination.
Also have one of the Austrian guards mention that this fight scene was in his last movie.
My alter ego says "yeah he just saw the movie n it's kinda stuck in his head.
The fight scene should look cool n the actor needs to deliver the lines like the toughest guy walking the earth. 

OOOH! Light Bulb.
Have Guards n customs officials transformed into Zombies for Dream Fight sequence.
Hey it's my fantasy, I can make whatever subtle statements I want.

The insert has my alter ego kicking everybody in the rooms ass except Delta n josh.
Josh n I take our money n leave.
It's a big Martial Arts fight scene by a guy that looks nothing like me.
Then fantasy over you come back to real me n crazy.
Delta saves the day.

I have to be honest, Hero me appears in an awful lot of the scenarios I seem compelled to run.

To my mind my alter ego is part of the genetic makeup of men, the provider, the hunter, the protector that down deep all men yearn to be.

In the fantasy movie of my life, my alter ego appears a lot, it's a more satisfying way for things to have happened.

Yes Emilien you are who I see in my mind to play fantasy me.
Reason, the starker the contrast between real me n fantasy me the better.
Without permission, respect for your privacy n out of gratitude for the appreciation you've shown for my posts, I will refrain from name dropping.

Below pics are from when I took delivery of the Silver glows in Hungary.


If you look carefully at the boxes the guy is handing me, you can see that its 3 boxes.  
Gives you an idea of how small each of the50 boxes I bought was.
To be honest I can't be certain but I think each box contained 12 or 24 Silver Glows mint on card. Josh n I found 3 carded Silver Glows could take up the same space as 1 in what we called "Down Packing".

Dead AL

Dead AL was one of the biggest liars I ever bought pez dispensers from and that is saying a lot when you factor in German Andre. Though in the end he was a harmless  n tragic figure. What will surprise you is I really liked this guy, he died of what I believe was a drug overdose of all things. I say of all things because Dead Al was the most accident prone guy I've ever known. 

Dead Al once used a Skill saw on a wall while remodeling with no regard for what might be in the wall or where it might be located. Catastrophic and predictable results ensued to his arm. This is only one example of many. I knew Dead Al for a year or two n every time I talked to him he had another story involving an injury to some part of his body from an ill conceived endeavor. 

I bought thousands of no foot Pez dispensers from Dead Al before he died and he always promised that this time it was everything. I can still hear his oath, "may god strike me dead if I'm Lying". He really said those words. It never was everything n God did strike him dead. 
I heard the news of his death from a relative on my last call to his store. 

I've told you that when I was young I abused drugs, which gives me an insight to read between the lines when people are cryptic in describing someones death. Add to that Dead Al mentioned his drug use.

All things said, I liked Dead AL, he was one of those characters that you meet once in a lifetime. Most people that repeatedly lie to you you end up disliking. Dead Al was different, his life was so tragic that you could not help feeling sorry for him. 

If somehow part of the Pez Outlaw legacy is that Dead Al is remembered, I'd like that very much. Dead Al in a very odd way was a friend, characters like him should be remembered. To that end I'd like to ask the person working on the script of the Pez Outlaw movie, please include at least a mention of Dead Al.

Nobody is paying attention to me so I'm probably OK saying that. 
To the powers that be, I'm going nuts out here waiting for news.

Total amount spent on 9,936 Pez dispensers bought from Dead Al was $32,667.00.

The 3 Stooges

On my first few trips to Europe (trips 1, 2 n 4) Joshua accompanied me. Then again later for my trip to Spain, I just couldn't do it without him. The reason is Joshua was in college at the time, so getting away for my adventures was a bit hard. After he graduated Josh was a broker for a while then he came to work for me n did a trip to Europe for me so I could stay home. After over 70 trips to Europe in 10 years I was getting kinda tired of it.

During those early trips with Josh a lot of European real-estate was covered. We drove all over in our little clown car. Here's the thing, in the USA you drive 2 hours usually your still in the same state, in Europe 2 hours n you are in another country. So we crossed a lot of borders.

The second thing about those first few trips in Europe was. Much as I had in Canada we did a lot of buying in stores retail as we traveled. Which could n did make all those border crossings interesting.

Somewhere in Eastern Europe Joshua n I drove up to a border crossing as we had many times before.  As we pulled up to the booth,  I swear to god these three eastern European border guards were in the booth hitting each other. Finally one stepped out and he was not happy with all the bags of pez dispensers. He made us dump them all out and show cash receipts. By the way these guys were carrying machine guns. 

I noticed when bagging it all up that some of the Pez dispensers had vanished, but you usually don't argue with machine gun toting eastern European military. Austrian gun toting military ok, but not eastern European, especially not in 1994 only a few years after the wall came down. Old military habits and points of view die very hard. Anyway we were again on our way, though not before they said don't do this again. We did of course, but not ever again at that crossing.

After the first few trips I stopped buying in countries other than Hungary or Slovenia.

Just a few samples
add this

The Pez Color War #pezoutlaw #hollywood
Catch Me If You Can #pezoutlaw #hollywood 
Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, #pezoutlaw...
She Whispered, "Kolinska" #pezoutlaw #hollywood... 
"The Legend Of Pez Outlaw." #pezoutlaw ...

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Saturday, January 14, 2017

Grab Your Tin Foil Hat #timetraveler #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA



Last night I got to thinking about this post.
2 problems came up.
1. If I went back to 1976, I'd have to ask Kathy where I worked.
You see during this time period I moved around within my trade a bit.

2. I just could not bare working in the shop again.
So the realistic solution would be to just go back to 1998.
Once there I would cancel all plans to create n buy the Misfit Pez From Pez Corporation. 
I would take the $250,000 cash on hand n build the Horse Arena 12 years earlier.

Avoiding near bankruptcy n 18 years in the wilderness.
The restoration of almost 18 years would be enough.
Regrettably if I went back in time n changed the last 18 years, we would not be here talking today. 
I would though happily make that trade.

The premise is this.
Say it was possible to travel back in time to a younger you but with the experience you have now.
So my 65 year old brain would be in my 19 year old body in 1970.
This would lead to many dilemmas.

First off I don't give a shit about all the rules of time travel argued on Dr Who n Big Bang Theory.
Throw them out from the git, if I'm gonna do this, my rules.
So my thoughts here will not be constrained by "agreed upon rules of time travel".
My dilemmas will all be personal.

The thought of time traveling back to a younger me crosses my mind a lot.
I'd love the chance to live my life better.
One, I was a very angry trouble young man.
I'd love to share that part of my life as a better person.

Would I go back to my early teens n be a better student n not drop out of High school?
Would I go back to the day I met Kathy n be a better man from day one?
Would I go back to 1998 n not buy the 1/2 million in Pez from Pez Corporation?
To me, these are my choices.

Teenager no way in hell, plus I'd have to wait to long to meet Kathy.
Although I do run some of the conversations I'd have with my mother.
If I went back in time there are 2 people who'd believe me my mother n Kathy.
Other'n that being a teenager again, Hell No.

To short a time.
Only impacting one pivotal point seems a waste.
Plus Kathy deserves more.

The old switcheroo.
Not the day I met Kathy but after Moriah was born.
Those first years good n bad are to key to who we are n the longevity of our relationship.
Plus I would do nothing that might alter my family.

So we get to the conversation.
Kathy gets home from the hospital after having Moriah n I tell her that I'm from the future.
Honestly, I think I could get her to believe me, because for one she's not stupid.
The difference in the brain of the person that was standing before her would be like night n day.

Once Kathy was on board we'd slowly start the changes.
I wouldn't tell anyone else.
Though I would tell Virgil to keep his eyes out for Microsoft n Apple.
Virgil liked stocks.

The changes.
We had goats, pigs, chickens, rabbits, sheep n a few cows.
All gone or never entered into.
Get Kathy to Horses STAT.

Kathy's knowledge n joy of horses is now n would have been back then if I could do a do over, Key to our lives.
All the money we wasted in other directions would be put into building a Horse Arenas as soon as possible.
I would support all her dreams n quests for knowledge. 
On this she was especially right, plus it gives her joy.

We had sight hounds n about every other breed.
Skip all that n get Mastiffs n a Dachshund. 
Save a lot of unnecessary aggravation.

Ok that taken care of we get to me, the shop n my obsessions.
I'd leave the shop as soon as I could but not as soon as I'd most likely like. 
In this go round I left the shop in 1994.
This would be the worst part, having to go back n work in the shop for even 1 more day.

My obsessions.
I bought everything from comics, 78 records, toys, McDonalds, etc.
Skip it all.
All roads led to Pez, so get to it right away.

If I'd just bought $10 a week of current Pez starting in 1975, we'd have gotten to the point quicker.
1994 was the start date is 15 years x 52 weeks x $10 a week = $7,800 worth of pez to launch things.
By then Kathy's Horse world would already be a key player.
So the pez thing could be just another player.

4 years later In 1998.
instead of spending 3/4 of a million on pez, 1/2 million specifically on Misfits etc.
1/2 million was debt n earnings from buy leaving 1/4 million for Kathy's Horse projects.
Buildings, equipment, driveways etc. Like I will now if they make the Pez Outlaw movie.

Other than that.
Kathy would have had a more loving, stable n supportive partner for 20 more years of our lives together. 
That would be the best part.

You ask people, If you could go back in time n change anything, would you?
The noble answer is always, not a thing.
What Bull shit.
I'd change a hell of a lot.

Kathy really didn't wanna hear this.
Fare enough.
Kathy said Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. 
No way, this is the topic today.

Think of it this way.
You could be watching a kitten play with string.
Or I could write this n you read it.
Probably equal wastes of time.

I write about what plagues my mind.
By writing it, I purge it. 
Freeing my mind to meander forth.
AH, sweet freedom.

Kathy said "What's the deal with Zombies"?
I told her that they're funny. OH!
Hap n Leonard still not doin so good.
Bones in the crawl space? 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Waiting on Reality #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I believe in the Absurdity of life. Therefore I believe whatever I imagine is possible.
I work every day for that possible.

I believe in it n I can actually see it.

What I believed impossible for my life when I was a child has already been surpassed.
Now if I can only bring stability to my dreams.

I can see my dreams as if they were already reality.
I've run the scenarios.
Now I wait for reality to catch up.

Is it egotistical to think a lot of what others pass off as crazy is amateurish?
By the way.
My favorite crazy in a movie. Brad Pitt, 12 Monkeys.
Favorite crazy on TV Jenifer on 12 Monkeys.
Favorite Obsessive Compulsive. Tony Shalhoub, Monk.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Friday, January 13, 2017

Incident at the Asylum #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Yesterday an incident occurred, that I would like to apologize for on behalf of the staff n management of Notes From The Asylum.
I'm not going to name names, Skuttlebut LaBelle, but I'm very disappointed.
Yes, we are considering management changes at the top.
We were about to celebrate that my Tweets have earned 95,793 impressions over the last 28 days. That's when a troll came out of the darkness n grabbed the keyboard. It almost destroyed everything we had worked so hard for.
The incident report.
Witness #1. Ice cream. I was in charge of ice cream. We were gonna celebrate a very big day.

Witness #2. Cake. I was in charge of cake. All I remember is that laugh. It was maniacal, I'll never forget it.

Witness #3. I didn't see anything just heard how horrible it was later.

Skuttlebut LaBelle, This is a frame job by Pez Outlaw. He never wanted or supported me as editor in chief of Notes From The Asylum. I refuse to resign, he'll have to fire me if he wants to get rid of me.

management is keeping a tight eye on Skuttlebut LaBelle. There will be no repeats of yesterdays cock-up.

I know I make a big deal about these #, but to me they are a big deal. I've been working a decade for these kinds of #s

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

I Humbly Submit #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Like you have a clue about being humble.

Americans are angry. Oh pushaw. 
No way, tell me it ain't so.

So what are or who are Americans angry at?
Government, what else is new?
Big corporations n the extremely rich. 
OK lets play with that one.

You knew this was probably gonna be about Pez Outlaw, Didn't ya.
I feel that the Pez Outlaw story is a perfect fit to the times n public sentiment.
After all Pez Outlaw is about an individual taking on a major International Corporation.
Pez outlaw is about the American dream, having an idea n pushing it to success.
Pez Outlaw is about Earning each dollar one by one not having wealth handed to you or earning 300 times your employees.
Pez Outlaw is about refusing to knuckle under to powerful forces.
Pez Outlaw is about Fighting n never giving up.

People are angry at Big Corporations, Why not give them a story that encapsulates that anger n fight?
Pez Outlaw is a story of it's time that everybody will be able to relate to.
When people watch Pez Outlaw on the big screen they will be rooting for him to win.

I've always felt that a lot of movies n TV shows fail because your customers, the viewers don't like, care or empathize with your character.
People are going to like Pez Outlaw, they are going to be entertained by his adventure.
People will respect his fight.

Add to that that Pez Outlaw is a quirky nutty, some would say crazy guy.
Honestly I do not see how the Pez Outlaw story could miss in today's mood.
I've been working for 15 years, for just this moment in time.
My chance to tell the Pez Outlaw story to America.

To me this is the story of a very average middle class person who tried to achieve the American dream. 
I finally figured out how to say this.
Yes I earned 4.5 million dollars in 11 years on a $4,000.00 investment, but in the end I lost $250,000.00 on a half million dollar investment that should have yielded a million, minimum.
I almost lost everything including my home.
The way back was 15 long years.
Here's the thing.
I once heard that you should be careful about the enemies you make because you will most likely see them again on your way down. I made enemies in my journey but Scott McWhinnie was the biggest. 

Scott McWhinnie was the President of Pez USA in the 1990s n he hated me with every fiber of his being.
Scott hated me so much that he matched my bet.
1 million dollars now on the table Scott McWhinnie raise my bet with his Presidency.
When our cards were laid on the table, we both lost. 
Our little game had made Scott vulnerable n he had enemies also.

How does one little farmer from Michigan create so much very personal hatred from a BIG CORPORATION?
Well boys n girls that's precisely our story.
The fight that unfolded over the next 3 years between the farmer n the President of Pez Corporation is our story.
The 15 years of work n refusing to give up that followed that fight is our story. 
Pez Outlaw, Pez Outlaw Diary n Notes From The Asylum is our story.
Jeff's Pez Outlaw story in April 2015 Playboy is our story.
Hollywoods interest in the Pez Outlaw is our story.

This is a truly American story, one that the American people have been waiting for.
Pez Outlaw is a story of n for our time.

Thank you for reading.
Pez Outlaw

If you are a book publisher n you've been amused by Notes From The Asylum, don't worry I've got a real writer Jeff Maysh ready to go. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Machiavellian #pezoutlaw #hollywood

When I was a child all was well hidden. I long for the days of ignorance.

Today we are told what we see playing out before our very eyes is actually an illusion.

At first blush we think, oh how cool n refreshing, then we are made privy to the Machiavellian reasons behind it.

Personally I preferred ignorance, enlightenment is so disillusioning.

I wish this was about just one thing but it seems to be happening over n over, the norm.

What is the world coming to when reality is a fictitious play.

The care to detail n complexity of the deceit that is passing as reality is frightening.

I always knew I did not know what was going on behind the curtain, now though the play is being put on in public.

Innocence was bliss.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

The Booby Hatch #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I play with crazy daily, because it amuses me.
Metaphorically I wait in my padded room wearing this years most fashionable straight jacket.

I wait for word on the next chapter of my life.

I wait for the words that announce the beginning, that in turn creates the interest in the thing that leads to what an average nobody could never dream of as there reality.

Again I'm asked, Are you ready for what's coming. Pardon my French but hell yes I'm ready. I've been waiting ten years, of course I'm ready. Can we please finally just do this thing.

Life is absurd.
I've traveled the world.
I've literally earned over 4.5 million in a decade.
Then returned to poverty.

I've Spent the last decade hatching my revenge on the absurdity of Life.

I've been famous in my own little world. I know the mistakes I made. I'm ready for my closeup CB.

Until that day I wait in my mental cell here in the Asylum passing notes under the door with no idea if there's just a pile of notes on the other side or if they are being picked up n read.

Pez Outlaw Diary

That's my story n I'm stickin to it. #hollywood #pezoutlaw #NFTA

Brain Freeze is a real thing.
You try scratching an itch while in a straight jacket.

I love living in the country.
I can't imagine buying my water or paying for a sewer from the city.
The real reason I rarely leave my property is that everything I want is right here.

For the first 18yrs of my life I lived in Lansing with houses one on top of the other.
Every time you turned around you had to deal with somebody n there particular issue.
Here in the country I keep to myself n so do my neighbors.

I like the peace n quiet, though over the last 40yrs things have gotten busier.
Traffic is busier, probably a half dozen cars go by per hour.
More city folk live out here now.

City folk in the country are people who bring city thinking into the country.
They get all wound up about there lawns.
I grow quack grass/whatever grows is my lawn.

Dogs poop on my lawn n horses walk on it.
The city folk that live out here now have a fit if that happens on there's.
Moriah actually had to go over to the neighbors n pick up Milo's poop.

N heaven forbid a horse gets loose n walks on there lawn.
One neighbor actually had to give another a couple hundred bucks so he'd quit bitching about the horse that walked on his lawn.
Seriously, What the hell.  #WildHorsePosse

Times change though n nothing stays the same.
Just wish I owned 2 or 3 x the acreage that I do.
The more I could keep others away, the happier I'd be.

Told the kids, I'd love to buy both of the neighbors houses n just knock them down, turn it back to pasture.
Billionaire's, What would you do if?
Buy the hundred acres in front of me behind me n to the left n right of me.

All that though is just stuff, I love it out here.
The real bitch are the winters.
Weather in the teens n the wind whipping up the hill.

It's great when I'm in the warehouse or the Arena.
Unfortunately I have to be out in it about 4-5hrs per day.
This comes up because you guessed it, temp is in the teens n the wind is goin pretty good n it's time to get out there to do chores. 

Taking a break after 2.5hrs
Wind gusts 25mph n snowing til 4am. 
4 more inches expected.

Break over.
Oh yah n wind chill 2 degrees.

Weather in the teens.
Outside over 8hrs doin hay.

n repeat.

We're having a heat wave, the porchometer says 21 degrees.
About the Porchometer.
Southern exposure n house + addition block the wind.
So the Porchometer is kinda a feel good optimistic reflection of the true temp.
Me I'll take it, good news is good news even if it is fake news.
Lah, lah, lah, can't hear you.
don't wanna hear the real Temp 

So told Kathy n she promptly said it's 15 degrees out.
Aw Man. I said I didn't wanna know. 
Brain Freeze
Kathy said it's not a real thing.
Well, That's my story n I'm stickin to it.

After 5hrs outside yesterday temp in low teens I got Brain Freeze.
The processor in my head began to malfunction. 
Made a poor decision with ramifications.

Couldn't understand words spoken to me, had to concentrate. 
That's somewhat normal cause I do not listen to people.
Once yesterday though I was listening, Wah Wah Wah, no comprehension.

OK unbelievers, What happens when you freeze to death?
Your brain goes to sleep.
Argument over, I win. 

Brain Freeze is a real thing.

5 inches of snow, more coming tonight
gotta go. tractor, plow, drive, hrs.
my guess same thing tomorrow

took 5 hrs to clear the snow from Friday nights storm


I wanted to write a post about Global Warming today.
I was told by the people that run the Asylum that I should not.
Seems unfair, because we're in the middle of a Polar Vortex. 
Temps in the lower teens, wind chills in single digits.
All that n the staff here at the Asylum will not let me RANT about Global Warming. 
The good News, it's Jello day.

Irony is, this post was supposed to die in a few days.
Instead, it will have 1,000 views in 1 week.
It had a pretty rocky start.
Shows ta Go ya.
Other stuff

The boredom of each day feels like being on a runaway train going 100 mph.
You want to slow it down but can't no matter how hard you try. 
The points of reflection are when I get in bed n when I get up.
2yrs. 18yrs. 65yrs. That moment was yesterday.

Ebay keeps sending me all kinds of messages.
It's the cyber version of junk mail.
Delete, Delete, Delete.

I need to correct a misconception.
I'm an Anarchist. 
Not like the Anarchist youth you see in the streets behaving violently.
My Anarchy is simple, You say Yes, I say NO!
Whatever the conventional Wisdom is, I take the opposing view with passion n dedication.
Yah Yah Yah Contrarian Blah Blah Blah.

Picking n Scratching, we are at our Primordial Best.
Instinctively nothing is more deeply encoded in our DNA.

HOOEY! Yup n it cost you nothing. 
Sometimes it just feels good to take a self-righteous stand on a self proclaimed statement of fact. 

Proclamations n Defiant Statements are fun, they feel good.
It's like with one sweeping statement you fixed something. 

Truth is it's just dirty laundry.
Next day comes the verbal hangover.

Last night a TV show Host commented on Wet Wipes, indicating I raise this not for me but a friend of mine.
He was kidding I know, but that aside aren't wet wipes/butt wipes for everybody that actually wants to be clean.

The acceptance of butt wipes for adult use was a defining moment in my life.
Being obsessive, prior to butt wipes I used way to much TP n never was satisfied with my cleanliness.

Pre butt wipes was like the Darkages in personal hygiene.
I for one don't understand any reluctance by adults on this subject. 

Brent Johnson I'll chime in on this and will also attach an article. Butt wipes are the enemy of wastewater treatment plants, major cause of sanitary sewer overflows, and are quite misleading to the consumer. Yes, they are flushable which makes the average consumer think it's ok when it's not. Yes they flush but they do not break down. Like dental floss. You can flush it and it remains a solid. A credit card will also flush, it remains a solid. I worked in the wastewater industry for a long time, was injured in the industry, and forced to retire due to said injuries and surgeries. To anyone reading this: Please don't flush if connected to city sewer, just like feminine hygiene products. If you're on septic, do what you want since it's yours to maintain. End of rant. http://www.wateronline.com/.../millions-of-dollars-in...

Steve Glew
Steve Glew  how I would never be on public sewer or water n will always have my own is a whole other rant.
Brent Johnson Perhaps a new topic to rant about?
Steve Glew
Steve Glew I never buy bottled water but I do take pop bottles filled with my well water everywhere I go.

I wouldn't like being connected to a public sewer because I would hate to be judged by my....um....um....? 

Last nights local news reported some folks here in Michigan are paying the equivalent of a car or house payment for city water.

Yesterdays post here was a bit to honest so all but a tiny bit is now gone.
Surprisingly even in it's original form it hit the minimum of  300+ views.

Original Post, What's left of it anyway.

Dude, you're gonna give yourself an Ulcer.
Wait a minute, I thought everybody had one.

You carry things around with you each day.
Pushing down the things you shouldn't think about or talk about.
Then each day around 4pm your stomack starts hurting.
This crazy shit is real not an amusing persona. 
One day you're good n in a few days hounded by Demons

Sometimes as hard as it is, you just have to walk away.
Shovel as much dirt as you can on it.
Just close your eyes n do what you do. 

Buy something on ebay, buy the Old Man a bale of Hay.
#hollywood #buytheoldmanabaleofhay
Christmas is not my favorite time of year.
I've been thinking about it lately.
I think this is based on a feeling of inadequacy.
The relentless barrage of Christmas songs, just a painful reminder.

new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

I wish I could make the head on my new image ratchet left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.



Thursday, January 12, 2017

Angry Nation, Instinct, Food, Amish, dd8-5 #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Breaking News!
We are no longer just Angry White Males.
We are now also ignorant.

I think the Political class n big money finally got the message last night.
You've ignored us, placated us, n decided what's best for us.
Promise after promise broken.
To that our answer is, We give you Trump. 
Can you hear us now? 
Screw the consequences, we're tired of being sacrificial lambs to your greed for power n money.
If we'd settled for one of your bullshit candidates as usual, things would've continued as usual.

Are you making the kind of money you wish you were or really need to be?
How long has it been since you felt that government was actually listening to you?
Do you feel that government is working for you or do you feel you work for the government?
Do you feel government or big corporations have your best interests at heart or each others?

Do you feel that the government is in the way of your dreams for a brighter future?

These questions are the reality of the poor n middle class.
These questions are why Americans are so angry.

I have to add one thing.
I find it very ironic that the EPA wants to regulate mudd puddles but can't keep lead out of the drinking water in Flint Michigan. 
Airy Fairy Goals n Feather Headed Thinking seem more important than actually doing there job.

I think that's why a lot of Americans have went small.
I'll deal with my world, because I can actually do something there.
An awful lot of us have just given up.

I heard this morning that Franklin Graham is going to rally in every state n try to fire up voters.
Many including Franklin Graham say that this election is the one, that we either change direction or we lose who we are forever.
I'm not a particularly religious person but I have watched Franklin Graham. 
Franklin Graham's work with Samaritan's Purse has been a credit to his name.

I tend to trust Franklin Graham and his motives, he to my eyes has been a selfless person with honorable goals n intentions.
The Problem is that we have had our hearts broken by politicians so many times that we seem to have lost our ability to believe in any of them. 

Which is why you have the Trump/Sanders phenomenon.

Are Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders really the answer to our anger or are they just the symbol of that anger? 

Would Trump or Sanders actually be an improvement? 
We would have clearly let the Political class know how we feel, but would we have bit our nose to spite our face?
I just don't know because unfortunately like you I'm thick in the middle of it n lack the wisdom to know. 

Our betters warn us of the peril, but we do not trust them anymore.
Right now I'm not sure we trust anyone anymore.
We all wish for n yearn for just one honest person who will take office n truly look out for the poor n middle class.
I'm not sure I see that person.

Seriously I do not know where that leaves us.
I had my heart broken in 2012 n it would appear I have still not recovered.

I'm very reluctant to be Charlie Brown again n have Lucy snatch the football away again at the last minute.
No I do not understand the Billionaire phenomena of the last decade, it just seems a little "Let them eat cake".
Anything over 1 Billion dollars just seems obscene and disproportionate.
No I do not trust large Corporations after having my hopes of the American dream crushed by Pez Corporation. see Pez Outlaw Diary
No I do not trust government because at every turn government seems to be playing an adversarial role to We The People.

Franklin, God Love You, but it's going to take some serious preaching to get us to believe again.
Think you got me figured out?
Let me mess with that.
My first vote as a young man was for the Patron Saint Of Lost Causes, George McGovern.

Life's a Crap Shoot

Well it's official.
Americans are really pissed off.
Tired of putting there trust in promises that are not kept.
Tired of being pawns in some big game that they do not understand.
Tired of taking handouts n leftovers n saying thank you.
Tired of being told what's best for us all the while screaming at the top of our lungs what we really want.
Tired of those who live removed from reality lives making the decisions for we who must do the hard things.

Only those leading cushy lives can afford all these asinine ideas.
You live on silk n high count thread cotton, we live in the dirt. 

We are about to make the biggest mistake in our nations history or the smartest thing we as voters have ever done.
I honestly have no idea which it is.
The interesting thing is like you I'm ready to roll the dice n take that chance, because what we've been doing works I'm sure for somebody but that somebody is not us.

Politically left n right we are ready to end the good ole boy way of things.
I agree with the left that wealth has been concentrated into the hands of the few at the expense of the middle class n the poor.
I personally find the extreme wealth of a very few obscene.
Or in more polite words a comic farce.
Who on earth needs more than a Billion Dollars?
Then again after my experience with Pez Corporation destroying the business that took me 2 decades to build, you would expect as much.

When I saw the image of Marco Rubio standing next to Nikki Haley, I thought maybe I was seeing the thing that might be the compromise.
That said, not sure we are going that direction.

What we are about to do is fine, I'm just saying, your eyes are wide open. Right.
I'm willing to roll the dice.

I'm just venting, I hope that you will indulge me.
Feelin kinda pissy this morning.
This post probably wont survive long. 

Pez Outlaw, Anarchist???? 
Maybe just this morning.

It's basic human nature to follow the strong in times of trouble.
For that matter it's in our animal instinct to do so.

Dogs in the wild will pack behind the strongest dog.
Horses will heard behind the strongest Horse.
Humans are animals by nature and no different.

We try to be different and when things are going well we will follow a weak horse that looks n sounds good.
But when we are truly frightened by our world we will seek out a strong horse that looks like he can protect us.

To me that's exactly why this year in politics candidates that in other years would have thrived seem shallow as there speeches to us.
Americans want a true leader, someone who has shown an ability to win n speak his mind.
When you are looking for strength you will forgive a lot, that in other times would have disqualified a candidate.

I'm saying that for as much as we try to distinguish ourselves from the family of animals that we come from during times of fear we revert to our base instincts.
We try to fight it, Hell I try to fight it, but somehow we can't deny the attraction.

Years ago when I saw a certain politician speak, I said I've seen this before.
I recognized what I saw n heard immediately, I had already lived it.
So I did not fall under the spell.

Now we are where we are.
The times have created the moment.
Professionals are bewildered.
What was is of no value.

People seek a true leader not talk.
How many times are you let down before you reject words.
Groomed to be king, words fed by spoon.
Correct path taken, is no more.

A leader steps forth.
Rough edged n ill mannered.
Honesty even if it's ugly.
You want a voice that will stand defiant.

I will live with the survivor. 

I'm reminded of one of my favorite stories.
Howard Hughes was appearing before Congress.
Hughes was asked, will you make so n so appear befor us n answer questions.
Hughes replied, "No, I don't think I will".
Congress could do nothing because he was Howard Hughes.

What I have always admired about that moment was Howard Hughes strength to power.
Americans have tried strength to power for some time now n it has failed.
To be honest I'm not as surprised as the pundits that America is now turning to it's baser instinct and a strong horse.

When your beliefs are systematically destroyed you turn to instinct.
You are no longer susceptible to the voices you hold responsible for the realization of your fears.

I don't know how this is going to play out, but I do understand why it is happening.

Form dd8-5 

Because if you didn't use the -5, well buddy you need to start over.
You see, if I remember right, you aren't even allowed to lose your mind unless you fill out the right forms.
If you only Knew.

There is a lot of anger n dissatisfaction in America right now.
Which could lead to very bad choices.
It's like you should never go grocery shopping when you are hungry.  
Again you are going to make bad choices.

In the early part of the last century people in Europe were Angry, Scared n Dissatisfied.
They decided Hitler n Mussolini were the men to lead them out of there troubles.

I'm just saying.
I understand the anger.
I understand the disillusionment.
I understand the fear.

But we can not or at least should not go grocery shopping when we are hungry.
We are bound to make bad choices n the bill will be much higher.

We need to step back. Find some calm, then re-approach the issues with a cleared mind.
A mind not clouded by our anger n frustration at not being listened to.

Trust me, I get it, my frustration n anger caused me to walk away for 6 yrs.
I retreated to the farm, family n my own thoughts.
I scaled back my news intake to approximately 1 hr per day from over 4 hrs.

The current choices though are not the answer, they are only the revelation of how deep the dissatisfaction is.
Send the message, fine, but then step back n choose wisely.
I've narrowed my choices to about 4 that I'm carefully watching.
None of my choices include Mussolini.


One of my friends is an Amish farrier. I've joked with him that one day soon he might become a very popular guy.

My tin foil hat fear is an EM pulse.

I just think people don't know how to do for themselves anymore. My son Josh n I would be ok, which means our entire family would be ok.

My dad was a getter done kinda guy n even though he thought I was not paying attention. I was.

Add to that the fact that on n off since 1970 I've been my own guy. The, I got a guy thing.

It just seems to me the more technology we get dependent on, the less we know about how to actually take care of ourselves.

Josh n I can take it from the ground to the table. if neccessary make whatever we need.

That EM thing would be a really life altering event for this country.

I just think old Henry n his folks are gonna be real popular.

The Legend of Pez Outlaw has even reached The Amish Community.

A day or 2 ago I explained that our farrier is an Amish person named Henry.
Ole Henry n I see eye to eye on a whole lot of things.
I guess you could say we are friends.

For being Amish ole Henry is a very traveled man. He does not drive cars but people drive him all over the place.

Henry was telling me that recently on a long drive there was a person with a tablet of one type or another.
Henry said, hey there's an article out there somewhere on steve glew, can you find it so I can read it.

Well there you go Pez Outlaw has now reached the Amish community.

A better headline would be "Amish Read Playboy".

No offense intended because I'd be willing to bet you Ole Henry had no idea what publication he was reading that Pez Outlaw story came from. The guy next to him just pulled up the Pez Outlaw Story on his tablet thingy.

To Jeff Maysh, Ole Henry liked the story, said it was pretty good. 

OK, OK, hyping Pez Outlaw n Joking aside.
I really respect the Amish community and Ole Henry specifically.
Henry goes out into our world to earn, then takes it back to his world.
My intent with Pez Outlaw is to emulate that work ethic. 
I hope to go out into a foreign to me world and earn, then take those earnings back to my world to secure our future.


One of my favorite foods after Hungry Howie's cheesy bread sticks is the line of Velveeta meals.
My favorites are Bacon n Cheesy Mac. Warning I give them my own names, not there box names.

My least favorite Velveeta meal is the one that has very small noodles the size of rice.
When I'm done eating I always find myself annoyed at the fake rice. I really like Rice.

Which leads to the same statement over n over. Be rice or be a noodle, don't try to be both.
Last night Kathy had had enough, she threw out the fake rice from the box n replaced it with real rice.
It was yummy.
Next, replace the chicken with hamburger.

May cause anal leakage.

That has to be the funniest line I've ever heard to accompany someone trying to sell you something.

Who in there right mind is gonna say, yeah buddy where do I sign up after hearing that?

If your erection last more than 4 hrs, contact a doctor.

Seriously, are you kidding me?

In the 1950s Lucy could not use the word pregnant.
Married folks on tv had to sleep in separate beds and if they were in the same bed, each had to have one foot on the floor at all times.

Now we have anal leakage n erections lasting 4 hrs.

Seriously wasn't there a middle ground somewhere?

Pez Outlaw Theme Park     
Everybody gets a Pez Gun n we all run around shooting candy at each other.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

I wish I could make the head on my new image ratchet left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.


Just did google search on Pez Outlaw movie. Nothing yet.