Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Old Children #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Just got to sneezing so hard I had to grab the back of my head to keep it from fallin off.

Outhouse by Willie Makit
Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel
School Truancy by Marcus Absent
Rusty Bedsprings by I. P. Freely
Under The Bleachers by Seymour Butts 

These jokes are not new.
As a matter of fact these jokes are probably older than I am.

I also find that I have a renewed appreciation for Knock Knock Jokes.
My grandchildren can tell me the stupidest joke n I'll think it's just great.
As a matter of fact the stupider a joke is, the more I like it.

These jokes made me laugh when I was 8 years old n they make me laugh today.
Which hasta make you wonder.

Why is it that Old Men have the same sense of humor as there 8yr old self's did?
Does it have something to do with having seen a lot n yearning for a simpler time?

When did it get so complicated n who's driving.
My inner child had a better grip.

When you're young you want to be older so you can get on with it.
When you're older you wish for the grace of innocence.
If it wasn't so sad it would be funny.
Then you push on, with hope for the future.

This post used to be 2 posts, upon reflection I did not like where either one went.
There was a much simpler point to be made, I hope I got there this time. 

Special Announcement

As soon as I get enough money I will commission 2 special Exclusive NEW Pez Outlaw items.

1. A black Pez Outlaw T shirt with the Pez Outlaw image on it.

My intent will be that these shirts will be made by Marcia Marshall
I believe in doing business with friends.
My experience with The Kids in The Hall T shirts tells me that XL n Mediums are good enough so as to simplify ordering but I will have a dozen or 2 of 2XL made because that's what I wear.

This is the Pez Outlaw image which will be on the black T's n the pin.
2. When I have the money I will commission a Pez Outlaw pin from the Pin Center.

I just wanted to share.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Yokoroko #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Money won't make me happy??????
But, I'm Willin To Try Real Hard. 
somebody said that, but I'm stealin it. 
I've worked over 10,950hrs on the Pez Outlaw project, which comes to almost 4yrs at 8hrs per day every day. 
The results so far are over 1million views of my work.

For lack of a better word, this image is original Pez Outlaw Art.
I've always loved images like this.
You can see all sorts of images in it.
The most obvious image is a Dog, but at different times you can see up to 3 or 4 others characters in it.

I've fooled around with this sort of thing for over 40yrs.
It's pointless but it amuses me.

I've used this post to go several places.
The last topic will be the launch of Pez Outlaw Blog.


I just watched a video of 2 guys messing with an alligator.
One held the tail while the other fool stuck his head in the mouth of the gator.
You guessed it, it did not go as expected.

Only a redneck would think that's a good idea.
Before you get all shirty on me, I'm a redneck so I can say that.

Problem was they thought they had that gator by the tail.

Life is a funny old thing.
folks think they got you just where they want you.
Then they are shocked when they get bit by the gator.

Best to figure out if you're the gator or the fools messing with a gator.

Yesterday someone asked me a question, well at least I thought they did.
Which brings me to my point.

If you ask me a question I will decide what I think, usually you will get an answer.
I do not understand people who can't make up there minds.
I've even met people who when faced with needing to decide actually look scared at the prospect.

Around here, we got a joke.
Whatcha Doin?
Long explanation.
Translation = Railing, you know against whatever you got.


I'm breaking up the band.

Over the next week I will be removing Pez related posts from Notes From The Asylum.
The reason for this is that I hope to sell Notes From The Asylum as a book of it's own original content completely separate from Pez Outlaw Diary someday.

There will be exceptions, 3 posts come to mind.
These 3 posts are very serious earners for Notes From The Asylum.
I will need to vet them for content overlap into Pez Outlaw Diary because I really don't want to lose them.
These 3 posts are below
Pez Today #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA
The Adventures of Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood...
To Dream #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw 

What you may or may not have noticed is that there was a lot of overlap between the Pez related posts here n Pez Outlaw Diary.
Can't have that if I want Notes From The Asylum to stand on its own n untangled.

Therefore I'm going to create a blog called Pez Outlaw Blog.
For post currently in Notes From The Asylum that are transferred over to the New Pez Outlaw Blog I will create links below.

One final note.
As views currently held by these posts are not transferable, I will be adding at the top of each post a notation called views before transfer for my own accounting reasons.

Transferred posts links below.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Angry Nation, Instinct, Food, Amish, dd8-5 #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Breaking News!
We are no longer just Angry White Males.
We are now also ignorant.

I think the Political class n big money finally got the message last night.
You've ignored us, placated us, n decided what's best for us.
Promise after promise broken.
To that our answer is, We give you Trump. 
Can you hear us now? 
Screw the consequences, we're tired of being sacrificial lambs to your greed for power n money.
If we'd settled for one of your bullshit candidates as usual, things would've continued as usual.

Are you making the kind of money you wish you were or really need to be?
How long has it been since you felt that government was actually listening to you?
Do you feel that government is working for you or do you feel you work for the government?
Do you feel government or big corporations have your best interests at heart or each others?

Do you feel that the government is in the way of your dreams for a brighter future?

These questions are the reality of the poor n middle class.
These questions are why Americans are so angry.

I have to add one thing.
I find it very ironic that the EPA wants to regulate mudd puddles but can't keep lead out of the drinking water in Flint Michigan. 
Airy Fairy Goals n Feather Headed Thinking seem more important than actually doing there job.

I think that's why a lot of Americans have went small.
I'll deal with my world, because I can actually do something there.
An awful lot of us have just given up.

I heard this morning that Franklin Graham is going to rally in every state n try to fire up voters.
Many including Franklin Graham say that this election is the one, that we either change direction or we lose who we are forever.
I'm not a particularly religious person but I have watched Franklin Graham. 
Franklin Graham's work with Samaritan's Purse has been a credit to his name.

I tend to trust Franklin Graham and his motives, he to my eyes has been a selfless person with honorable goals n intentions.
The Problem is that we have had our hearts broken by politicians so many times that we seem to have lost our ability to believe in any of them. 

Which is why you have the Trump/Sanders phenomenon.

Are Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders really the answer to our anger or are they just the symbol of that anger? 

Would Trump or Sanders actually be an improvement? 
We would have clearly let the Political class know how we feel, but would we have bit our nose to spite our face?
I just don't know because unfortunately like you I'm thick in the middle of it n lack the wisdom to know. 

Our betters warn us of the peril, but we do not trust them anymore.
Right now I'm not sure we trust anyone anymore.
We all wish for n yearn for just one honest person who will take office n truly look out for the poor n middle class.
I'm not sure I see that person.

Seriously I do not know where that leaves us.
I had my heart broken in 2012 n it would appear I have still not recovered.

I'm very reluctant to be Charlie Brown again n have Lucy snatch the football away again at the last minute.
No I do not understand the Billionaire phenomena of the last decade, it just seems a little "Let them eat cake".
Anything over 1 Billion dollars just seems obscene and disproportionate.
No I do not trust large Corporations after having my hopes of the American dream crushed by Pez Corporation. see Pez Outlaw Diary
No I do not trust government because at every turn government seems to be playing an adversarial role to We The People.

Franklin, God Love You, but it's going to take some serious preaching to get us to believe again.
Think you got me figured out?
Let me mess with that.
My first vote as a young man was for the Patron Saint Of Lost Causes, George McGovern.

Life's a Crap Shoot

Well it's official.
Americans are really pissed off.
Tired of putting there trust in promises that are not kept.
Tired of being pawns in some big game that they do not understand.
Tired of taking handouts n leftovers n saying thank you.
Tired of being told what's best for us all the while screaming at the top of our lungs what we really want.
Tired of those who live removed from reality lives making the decisions for we who must do the hard things.

Only those leading cushy lives can afford all these asinine ideas.
You live on silk n high count thread cotton, we live in the dirt. 

We are about to make the biggest mistake in our nations history or the smartest thing we as voters have ever done.
I honestly have no idea which it is.
The interesting thing is like you I'm ready to roll the dice n take that chance, because what we've been doing works I'm sure for somebody but that somebody is not us.

Politically left n right we are ready to end the good ole boy way of things.
I agree with the left that wealth has been concentrated into the hands of the few at the expense of the middle class n the poor.
I personally find the extreme wealth of a very few obscene.
Or in more polite words a comic farce.
Who on earth needs more than a Billion Dollars?
Then again after my experience with Pez Corporation destroying the business that took me 2 decades to build, you would expect as much.

When I saw the image of Marco Rubio standing next to Nikki Haley, I thought maybe I was seeing the thing that might be the compromise.
That said, not sure we are going that direction.

What we are about to do is fine, I'm just saying, your eyes are wide open. Right.
I'm willing to roll the dice.

I'm just venting, I hope that you will indulge me.
Feelin kinda pissy this morning.
This post probably wont survive long. 

Pez Outlaw, Anarchist???? 
Maybe just this morning.

It's basic human nature to follow the strong in times of trouble.
For that matter it's in our animal instinct to do so.

Dogs in the wild will pack behind the strongest dog.
Horses will heard behind the strongest Horse.
Humans are animals by nature and no different.

We try to be different and when things are going well we will follow a weak horse that looks n sounds good.
But when we are truly frightened by our world we will seek out a strong horse that looks like he can protect us.

To me that's exactly why this year in politics candidates that in other years would have thrived seem shallow as there speeches to us.
Americans want a true leader, someone who has shown an ability to win n speak his mind.
When you are looking for strength you will forgive a lot, that in other times would have disqualified a candidate.

I'm saying that for as much as we try to distinguish ourselves from the family of animals that we come from during times of fear we revert to our base instincts.
We try to fight it, Hell I try to fight it, but somehow we can't deny the attraction.

Years ago when I saw a certain politician speak, I said I've seen this before.
I recognized what I saw n heard immediately, I had already lived it.
So I did not fall under the spell.

Now we are where we are.
The times have created the moment.
Professionals are bewildered.
What was is of no value.

People seek a true leader not talk.
How many times are you let down before you reject words.
Groomed to be king, words fed by spoon.
Correct path taken, is no more.

A leader steps forth.
Rough edged n ill mannered.
Honesty even if it's ugly.
You want a voice that will stand defiant.

I will live with the survivor. 

I'm reminded of one of my favorite stories.
Howard Hughes was appearing before Congress.
Hughes was asked, will you make so n so appear befor us n answer questions.
Hughes replied, "No, I don't think I will".
Congress could do nothing because he was Howard Hughes.

What I have always admired about that moment was Howard Hughes strength to power.
Americans have tried strength to power for some time now n it has failed.
To be honest I'm not as surprised as the pundits that America is now turning to it's baser instinct and a strong horse.

When your beliefs are systematically destroyed you turn to instinct.
You are no longer susceptible to the voices you hold responsible for the realization of your fears.

I don't know how this is going to play out, but I do understand why it is happening.

Form dd8-5 

Because if you didn't use the -5, well buddy you need to start over.
You see, if I remember right, you aren't even allowed to lose your mind unless you fill out the right forms.
If you only Knew.

There is a lot of anger n dissatisfaction in America right now.
Which could lead to very bad choices.
It's like you should never go grocery shopping when you are hungry.  
Again you are going to make bad choices.

In the early part of the last century people in Europe were Angry, Scared n Dissatisfied.
They decided Hitler n Mussolini were the men to lead them out of there troubles.

I'm just saying.
I understand the anger.
I understand the disillusionment.
I understand the fear.

But we can not or at least should not go grocery shopping when we are hungry.
We are bound to make bad choices n the bill will be much higher.

We need to step back. Find some calm, then re-approach the issues with a cleared mind.
A mind not clouded by our anger n frustration at not being listened to.

Trust me, I get it, my frustration n anger caused me to walk away for 6 yrs.
I retreated to the farm, family n my own thoughts.
I scaled back my news intake to approximately 1 hr per day from over 4 hrs.

The current choices though are not the answer, they are only the revelation of how deep the dissatisfaction is.
Send the message, fine, but then step back n choose wisely.
I've narrowed my choices to about 4 that I'm carefully watching.
None of my choices include Mussolini.


One of my friends is an Amish farrier. I've joked with him that one day soon he might become a very popular guy.

My tin foil hat fear is an EM pulse.

I just think people don't know how to do for themselves anymore. My son Josh n I would be ok, which means our entire family would be ok.

My dad was a getter done kinda guy n even though he thought I was not paying attention. I was.

Add to that the fact that on n off since 1970 I've been my own guy. The, I got a guy thing.

It just seems to me the more technology we get dependent on, the less we know about how to actually take care of ourselves.

Josh n I can take it from the ground to the table. if neccessary make whatever we need.

That EM thing would be a really life altering event for this country.

I just think old Henry n his folks are gonna be real popular.

The Legend of Pez Outlaw has even reached The Amish Community.

A day or 2 ago I explained that our farrier is an Amish person named Henry.
Ole Henry n I see eye to eye on a whole lot of things.
I guess you could say we are friends.

For being Amish ole Henry is a very traveled man. He does not drive cars but people drive him all over the place.

Henry was telling me that recently on a long drive there was a person with a tablet of one type or another.
Henry said, hey there's an article out there somewhere on steve glew, can you find it so I can read it.

Well there you go Pez Outlaw has now reached the Amish community.

A better headline would be "Amish Read Playboy".

No offense intended because I'd be willing to bet you Ole Henry had no idea what publication he was reading that Pez Outlaw story came from. The guy next to him just pulled up the Pez Outlaw Story on his tablet thingy.

To Jeff Maysh, Ole Henry liked the story, said it was pretty good. 

OK, OK, hyping Pez Outlaw n Joking aside.
I really respect the Amish community and Ole Henry specifically.
Henry goes out into our world to earn, then takes it back to his world.
My intent with Pez Outlaw is to emulate that work ethic. 
I hope to go out into a foreign to me world and earn, then take those earnings back to my world to secure our future.


One of my favorite foods after Hungry Howie's cheesy bread sticks is the line of Velveeta meals.
My favorites are Bacon n Cheesy Mac. Warning I give them my own names, not there box names.

My least favorite Velveeta meal is the one that has very small noodles the size of rice.
When I'm done eating I always find myself annoyed at the fake rice. I really like Rice.

Which leads to the same statement over n over. Be rice or be a noodle, don't try to be both.
Last night Kathy had had enough, she threw out the fake rice from the box n replaced it with real rice.
It was yummy.
Next, replace the chicken with hamburger.

May cause anal leakage.

That has to be the funniest line I've ever heard to accompany someone trying to sell you something.

Who in there right mind is gonna say, yeah buddy where do I sign up after hearing that?

If your erection last more than 4 hrs, contact a doctor.

Seriously, are you kidding me?

In the 1950s Lucy could not use the word pregnant.
Married folks on tv had to sleep in separate beds and if they were in the same bed, each had to have one foot on the floor at all times.

Now we have anal leakage n erections lasting 4 hrs.

Seriously wasn't there a middle ground somewhere?

Pez Outlaw Theme Park     
Everybody gets a Pez Gun n we all run around shooting candy at each other.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

I wish I could make the head on my new image ratchet left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.


Just did google search on Pez Outlaw movie. Nothing yet. 

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Dirt #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

I hate to admit to you that lately I've been having fantasies about DIRT. 
Big Lovely piles of DIRT that I can scoop n move around with my tractor. 
Whom I kidding, I'm always having fantasies about DIRT.
Massive piles of Bank Run to move with my tractor.
Piles of crushed concrete n crushed limestone.
Shouldn't ask, but I will. 
Is it normal to have dirt fantasies?

I think dirt is fun, working in Dirt is my form of meditation.
Lately those dreams have been an internal controversies about crushed concrete as a base topped with bankrun.
Pros n Cons.

My second dream summer would be to move bank run around the farm every day, all day.
Bank run is the gravel mix that the county puts on dirt roads.
I'd just have my guy at Felski's make a big pile, when he sees it's getting low, bring some more.

Here's the thing.
Rain brings mud, horses have well traveled areas.
The ground they use a lot gets awful messed up.
The plan is to create year round firm areas for them to walk on.
We had mud for about a week here in early February, then it flash froze, the ground became a pocked up mess.
Very hard on the horses to walk on, hard to drive the tractor on.

These well traveled areas by horses is also where they poop.
If I create firm ground, skimming the surface to remove the poo would also be easier.

My first dream summer was helping Larry build our big horse barn n Arena.  
I enjoyed the work, plus it served as my reentry to a good work ethic.   
During my Pez years I got soft n kinda citified.
I had to relearn how to put work boots n gloves on again, become useful to Kathy again.
Nothing shakes depression like really hard work.
It's just not possible to be depressed when you are bone tired with a sense of accomplishment.
If your depressed dig a hole, keep digging till you feel better, then bury it.

You wanna get your shit together, try following Larry around working.
Larry will wear your ass out, he'll still be going n he's a few years older'n me.

I wanted to write about the other man who influenced my work ethic, My Father.
My father was not a perfect man, but who among us is.
I was thinking about it last night, sometimes the people who judge others, honestly have no right.
Here's what I mean n I'm sorry if it offends, I'm trying to give perspective not offense.
There are people who lead an entire life removed from the harsher elements of every day life.
You buy all your meat from the store, you never killed n butchered your own meat.

You buy new cars, My dad never owned a new car n he fixed his own.
Dad once made one truck out of two very broke trucks.
Dad made a truck out of a blue 1956 ford station wagon.

You get your heat from the furnace. 
Dad cut wood most of his adult life.
I cut wood for 25 years. 
My son Josh currently cuts wood.

Your sewer goes out a pipe n your done.
My dad dug his own septic system and repaired it as both my son n I do.
I've been covered in human shit a few times n I'm a guy who doesn't like shaking hands.
Let's just say serious procedures were followed to regain cleanliness and clothing was thrown away.
Irregardless of phobias a job needed doin so I did what I had to do.

The point is some folks make it through life without living in the harder side of it. 
Living a harder life is not a choice for some of us.
The hard life requires the ability to do hard things n if you didn't or don't live on the harder side of life, please refrain from judging those who must.

I no longer judge my father, I have lived some of the life he did now.
Instead I forgive his shortcomings n focus on the good n that was his ability n willingness to work very hard for us.
My father accepted the burden of some pretty nasty jobs, things I've become familiar with as an adult.
My father was a good man with a very good work ethic.
I find I'm more like my father than I thought as a young man.
Love? But I definitely respect him.
In life he paid for his sins, I choose to only remember the good.

I believe in hard work.
Hard work cleanses the soul.
I've told you that in June I will be 65 n I want to retire.
Retire to me is that I go out at 10am every day, fire up the tractor n work till 7pm.
Not just the tractor though, repair fix n create as needs must.
Basically lead a real n useful life to those I love.

It's not good enough to realize you were wrong, a real man states it publicly to correct the record. 
By the same token, if your not wrong, you stand your ground Pez Corporation. 
Rudy dog would never forgive me if I wimped out, so Pez Corp we continue to the end. 
As much as I'd like this to be over Pez Corp, I wouldn't respect myself if I let it go.
Until the last dog barks Pez Corp n the dirt is thrown on. 
If need be I will fight what Pez Corp did by targeting n destroying my life to n with my very last breath.  I will not yield on this.
15 years says my word on this is to be believed. 
Sometimes even reluctantly, being a man means you fight when absolutely necessary. 
Pez Corp, I will use the truth as my way of fighting. 

Sorry for that, felt the need.
Going out to start the Tractor up.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, January 9, 2017

Hollywood or Bust #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Hollywood, working on Pez Outlaw Movie @pezoutlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood 

Maybe I've been to subtle, well let me state it clearer.
For 2yrs Hollywood has been working on making a Pez Outlaw Movie.

The first step was a story in the April 2015 issue of Playboy written by Jeff Maysh called

This Michigan Farmer Made $4 Million Smuggling Rare Pez Containers into the U.S.

see http://www.playboy.com/articles/pez-outlaw

Then a producer n a script.
Next a Major studio signed on.

What I think would help now is if I could get 1 Million Twitter followers, as a show of support for the idea of a Pez Outlaw Movie.

For more on the Pez Outlaw story see
Pez Outlaw Diary

Cast your vote for a Pez Outlaw Movie by following me on twitter, click


I always follow back.   

After several rewrites, let's try this version.
I will admit that my confidence in this project is at an all-time low.
I'd put it off to depression but to be honest I'm hearing nothing n it's been quite a while.

Connect the imagery
She whispered "Kolinska"
Cab driver leads the way
Smokestacks tower over OZ

Just like ole Abbott n Costello
Next stop Hollywood
We'll find it after a while
Would my world change

My life is that of a low level worker
Like Eb from Green Acres
Pez Outlaw lived a decade worth viewing. 
I'm just a funny looking old man on a tractor.

Things can only affect you if you take them in.
I've seen folks get all wired tight
Start thinking that they are a deal
It does not end well.

Pez Outlaw is the repository
After 15 years I'm the caretaker
Pez Outlaw flew high
I have been humbled.

I can help
But I will never read it
I just can't look in Mirrors
I can't deal with the me you perceive.

I've learned how things must go
The road to who I am was difficult
I do not mess with that
Stay on the path  

If Hollywood says yes
I will not talk on a telephone
No meals, except what Kathy hands me
Handshaking, gloves would be nice

If Hollywood makes a Pez Outlaw Movie
It would be an honor
Would that make me Happy
I've been working almost 2 decades

Satisfaction, recognition, Validation
That's why I hope it happens 
A lifetime of work 
I believe I'd find closure.

A Pez Outlaw Book
A Pez Outlaw Movie
That's "everything you dreamed of"
I've never been vague about it

Fame was never the dream
I've known what my true goals are from the beginning
Raising awareness of the Pez Outlaw story
Enjoying, Notes From The Asylum.

Vindication in my belief that I could do it.
That when I was down to zero $$$$.
I realized that I still had my mind.
Vindication in myself and my belief in myself.

Somehow I don't doubt the outcome
The problem is the pain of the journey
I can almost feel the joy of release
Somethings up, I can smell it

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, January 7, 2017

"Normal" #pezoutlaw #hollywood

You don't tell people what you know to be true.
You wear the face that people expect n want to see.

Do you have any idea what a gift being normal is?
I have no idea what it's like.
Happy people are a real mystery to me. 
I consider neutral a very good day.

Notes From The Asylum is my therapy.

I watched the Brian Wilson movie last night.
Kinda depressing for me but it did end well.
Imagine hearing music.

It occurred to me that all he was doing was sharing what was in his head with the rest of the world.
Sound familiar?
Sharing is good, right?

Prompted me to ask Kathy the question that you never should. 
Guy was a bit crazy, I'm not that bad am I?
Kathy's answer, Sometimes.

Kathy n only Kathy has earned the right. 
What sanity I have, she helped me find.
Years of what even I can see was crazy, earned Kathy that right.

That was then though n this is now.
The years I even see as crazy are behind me.
I like to think of myself as a softer gentler crazy now. 

Which by the way is why I say forgive yourself of your past.
Every morning is a rebirth, a fresh start.
With that new day, try to get it right.

I answer Kathryn now, Yes Mam n No Mam.
My goal is to repay her for her years of faith that I was wort the time n effort.
She earned what I have left in life to give, I intend to make that good.

I understand that I have a unique perspective, but have rationalized it to a sense of normal.
You just can't begin to see how others see you.
I put it away by saying, it is what it is.

That's another reason I will never see the Pez Outlaw movie.
If Brian Wilson's story bothered me, just imagine one about yourself.
No way I'm lookin in that mirror.

Thing is of course they're gonna go with the crazy, it's the hook. 
N that's fine I get it.
I want n need the payday, so you know, have at it boys.

Back to Kathy's answer, sometimes yeah you're that crazy.
Immediately your mind wants to rewind the clips n review.
Which parts?

You understand I can't see it, right.
The only times I get a glimpse is in the eyes of people around me. 
A look on someones face, but even that by now is just normal.

People have been lookin at me weird since I was a kid.
Hippie thing, Straight Jacket, n now I look like Santa Claus.
Collar on a few hundred dollar new leather jacket irritates me, I cut it off. 

I don't know what to tell you, I just can't see it.
I'm aware of it n accept it but Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Hate to tell ya but to me my mind is normal, your mind is the one I don't understand.

I haven't got a freakin clue what it's like to be "Normal".
I only know what I know.
I only see the world the way I see it.

So when I go in you know that direction, no way I see it.
I've learned to embrace the word crazy.
My attempt is to take the word crazy back, to own it.

Brian Wilson's movie might be a sign of what's to come in the Pez Outlaw Movie.
I honestly have to leave that one alone also.
I've cut my deal, It is what it is.

I trust the people involved.
My only suggestion is, make a movie people enjoy.
How I come off is for you n they to decide.

No different than now.
I can not control how others perceive me. 
Crazy would be to try.

Truth is I never asked Kathy, which parts.
I just accepted what she said n let it go.
Though as you can see, I did write about it. 

Waste not want not.
I thought linking to trending tweets might be something. IT'S NOT!
Just trying to promote the cause.

That Probably was a Bad Idea

Then let's not do that.
N This is a better idea?

It would appear I temporarily lost control.
A saboteur had the controls. 

It happens.
51% sane.
2 points n ?

You mean like low tide?
Sure, Why Not.

You get to thinking.
Well that was you're 1st mistake. 
Stop That!

Believe it or not, the whole thing started or stemmed from an imaginary interview. 
Nothing bad ever results from an imaginary reporter interviewing you.

Hey, Are you sure we should be sharing this?
I mean, starting to sound, Well Nuts.

Oh don't worry bout it, I think we're on a good foot now.
Ok, But you know what happened last time.

You gotta be more specific.
Which last time we talking about?

Never mind.
I think we already jumped off that bridge. 

You're starting to get on my nerves. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Tractor Legs #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Horsepoo - any day on a tractor is a good day.

noun: vocation;
a strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation.

Vocation n Vacation have more in common than you think.
If your vocation is the thing you enjoy doing.
Then your life is a vacation.

People tell me about there planned vacations.
I tellem I really don't go anywhere anymore.
Did that.

I have created the life I love. 
I no longer feel a need to travel for happiness. 
It's a Tractor thing, beside I got Billy n Po for diversion. 

Gotta go, time to fire up the tractor. 
Horse Poo waits for no man.
Time to enjoy myself, after this brief note.

Writing here is my hobby.
Horse Poo is my vocation.
When I retreat/retire from this, farm work will be my full-time job.

We have 6 pastures n 17.5 horses.
Every spring I have the task of cleaning up all the winter buildup of horse manure.
Believe it or not I enjoy this task.

So far I've gotten 3 of the pens in shape.
It takes roughly 4 hrs per pen just to get the manure over the fence.
Then another 6+ hrs to get it down the hill for my building projects.

Being on the tractor that much really isn't hard.
I enjoy working with manure n dirt.
Although you do get tractor legs.

Tractor legs are how your legs set up a bit from  sitting work n vibration.
You kinda get off n gotta walk around a bit so you don't look funny walking.
I've had a serious case of Tractor legs for over a week now.

Not complaining, actually it's kinda a brag.
I've been getting outside a bit after noon each day.
No problem at all with  that.

I find great enjoyment in my landscaping projects that I use the horse poo for.
I could actually use 4 times as much poo as the horses give me.
Two of my projects are actually quite large.

Within the next week I plan to seed the new wild flower stands.
Last years trial plot was amazingly beautiful.
I plan to expand from 1 plot to at least 4.

On a sidenote I'm very please with the progress of the raspberries I planted last year.
I've already expanded the raspberries from 20 feet to 60 feet.
The type of bush I selected is perfect for my soil n light.

Future projects are fruit trees n grapevines.
I'll still have some veggies but my new direction is fruit. 
As always it's money slowing my plans.

Thank God Horse Poo is Free n Plentiful.
Gotta go
It's Tractor Time.

Interesting thing just happened.
Got a twitter follow from KenneyMachinery @MachineryAH follows you

I bet they know what I mean when I talk about Tractor Legs.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Tricky Brain Timeline. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I'm crossing streams a bit here.

A recent conversation triggered nostalgia about my years traveling all over the world in search of Pez.

I couldn't help thinking how lucky I was to have had this adventure and to have visited so many countries as a byproduct of my search.

England, France, Germany, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Austria, Slovenia, Hungary, Czech Republic, Slovakia, South Africa and Australia.

For 10 years I traveled roughly 10 times a year.

It was a very big n unexpected adventure, that sometimes now even seems very remote n unbelievable even to me.

josh n I just look at each other with a knowing look. Our lives are very different now but yeah we did that.

Oh yeah, almost forgot Spain. Josh also went to Italy, I missed that one, kinda burned out by then.

As unbelievable as all that was, we're not done yet. Stand by for news of the next even bigger chapter.

I believe in the impossible because I have already lived it, so why not again.
How hard could it be.

Like Tink said, you just have to believe, or was it Donald Trump who said it?

Yeah Josh, We Did That n We're Gonna Do It Again. So Hang On Tight n Keep Your Hands Off The Rip Cord.

Naked Brain

Each morning I come into the office to work n write.
To my left is a row of windows facing south with a view of the woods.
Today that view is obscured by a very heavy fog.
I can't see beyond the tree line.

This type of very heavy fog is a rare occurrence.

It's very disconcerting.
I take comfort in gazing at the familiar n unchanging.

I know whats there, it's always there. 
Today the familiar is shrouded, unclear.

I must have faith in something that I can no longer see.

I'm sure tomorrow the fog will lift and once again my woods will reveal itself.
Today though the fog leaves me in isolation, unsure. 

Originally this post was going to be a comparison of the methods people use online to attract followers. Basically how some of us are either dropping our pants or exposing our brains. How both are actually a form of nudity.

I deleted the content.

I always follow back after someone follows me on twitter.
I always friend back on facebook.
except pages I consider not in good taste.

From previous post. deleted because of low views.
recently a timeline on my life was requested.
As I've said I do not live in the past.
Each day is a new beginning.
Yesterday is a previous life.
But asked, I obey.


3 - 11 Fighting trouble. Locked in school closets.

11 - 13 isms n crazy entered my brain, quit fighting, cousins brothers friends, just to many to fight

15 started drinking, brought home by cops drunk

16 thru 19 doing drugs, all drugs

17 n 18 joined marine corp. 30 days, Max security county jail.

early 19 got married n separated

late 19 met Kathy. been together since the day we met.

By 20 quit drugs n drinking never looked back

Crazy though lasted intensely 11 - 43

43 - 53 Pez years

6 to 7 year hiatus from crazy

50 to 60 crazy returned a bit

43 to present Pez Outlaw years

60 to present much better

see Chapter 11. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, #... for more details.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

I Believe #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw.

Destiny is the result of decades of hard work.You must be in the right place at the right time with the right idea, prepared to meet destiny.
Timing, Tick the right Boxes, meet the moment in time with the story that reflects the mood.
Will the audience identify with the character, does he reflect them?
Is the character likable, is he sympathetic?
Will the audience root for him to win?

My interests and what I've been compelled to do have met timing several times so far in my life.
Will Pez Outlaw be bigger than my Pez years themself, I don't know.
I do know If you wait for destiny unprepared, you will most likely die medicated.
Life hands you nothing, you must fight for what you want.

Don't think that I can not see how what I do looks like from your perspective.
I can n I do, but when Pez Outlaw succeeds then you will realize how relentless you must be to achieve success and how foolish you will look in the eyes of others doing what it takes to achieve it. People only get it once it works.

The amount of time n work required to achieve your destiny leaves most by the side of the road.
To most you will appear insane because of the blind dedication required to rendezvous with destiny.
Your belief in yourself and your ability to get there must be matched by the time required.
You're going to leave a lot of people behind who tire of your dedication to the goal.
Only your truest friends will survive the journey.
It's the natural way of things.

What's been interesting is this.
In the beginning all I faced was doubt on all fronts as to the wisdom of my choice.
People got on with there lives while I continued in isolation.
For a decade polite comments on various accomplishments but still doubt.
Then a shift in the winds due to visible motion.
Faces that had been gone reappeared, interest rose for a time.
Now I wait again in isolation.

Very soon the jury will render it's verdict.
If the answer is Yes Forward, I will be thought a genius n everybody will say they knew I could do it. They had faith all along.
If the answer is No, the answer will appeal to human nature.
If not me then why you.
It's a spin on I'm Ok you're Ok.
Meaning if I achieve something through 15 years of hard work, the other person feels somehow less for not doing so. 
So better I fail than there sense of self worth be called into question.

I chose work.
I chose blind dedication.
I chose to sacrifice 15 years to get here.
You or they chose whatever it was you chose.

I've watched the disappointment of people who wish for Life but don't put in the time.
Years n decades are required to accomplish anything meaningful.
You are going to be alone in your belief that you can do it. 
People are going to look at you like you are crazy n it helps if you are.

Any time your goal falls outside normal thought.
"Normal" people are not going to see the good sense in your choice, especially if the odds look ridiculously not in your favor.
So approval had best not be needed by you in your quest.

Blind Determination, Dedication, Belief n to be honest the type of brain where honestly there is no other choice. You just simply must.

Jeff has said "Are You Ready for what's coming"?
I guess we'll see.
I think if I can watch it somewhat detached, not as the object of interest but as a fellow observer.
Then I think I'll be OK.
I believe that I have reasonable expectations and a realistic idea of how long the lights will be on.
I'm ready n I want to walk away. 
I seek closure as I have since 1998.

All I've ever wanted was to correct/fix what happened, to finish what I started.
I did not choose this fight but I did decided not to walk away.

So that's where we are.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, January 6, 2017

The World Is Scary #Istandwithpolice #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Pez Outlaw Diary Book publishing rights 4sale by owner 75k 

5 good honest police officers  assassinated in Dallas n 3 more in Baton Rouge. 
To the men n women who protect n serve, we love n support you.
I would rather have zero followers/"friends", than be on the shameful side of this.
God Bless the Police, all our thoughts n prayers are with you. 

At a point we just have to say enough, I will be silent no more.
I stand with the police. PERIOD!
Please retweet #Istandwithpolice 

Yes I'm pissed off. #Istandwithpolice

Off topic, you know how people say that they get cyber bullied for saying stuff.
Gotta tell ya, I never hear Boo. 
I should bottle crazy as a Troll repellent.

The world is a scary place.
 Like Brit Hume just said, I could just crawl back in bed.

Turkish??? shot down a Russian plane and the pilots were shot. 
The bombing at Turkish airport.
Then an attempted Coup.
A terrorist attack in Egypt.

This week a terrorist attack at a big hotel in Africa.
weeks ago Paris 130 dead at the hands of terrorists.
49 dead in Orlando. 
14 dead in San Bernardino.
Last week 86 dead again in France.

Armed military at airports and public transportation around the world.

For the first time today I heard an ex Navy Seal wonder where the line is that puts Nuclear weapons on the table. Almost 4,000 US soldiers dead in 14 years. They have the right to ask.

Trump says bring back water boarding. This is just this mornings rundown. The news each day can make it hard to get out of bed.

Of course all these things are relevant to your life, so vote your conscience at all levels come November. On a personal level though, how do you act.

Each new day is a gift, live it well. Behave personally in a proper responsible manner.
With family, friends and people you meet, keep any angry, aggressive or hateful thoughts to yourself.
Down South they have a way of dealing with Soul Suckers or rude people. They just say Bless Your Heart n politely move on.
Remember, in life almost always the things that you do not say are more important than the things you do say.
Be quick with a handshake, a hug or a kind word.

Me, I also tell a lot of stories about animals.
How kind n loving the horses n dogs are.
I love to point out the progress each are making.

Crazy one.
Yesterday Billy dog was barking at Roz/horse. Roz was grabbing at an uncut bale. Billy is beginning to have an opinion about that n things. Nat/Kathy's protege, scolded Billy. You know hardly ever wrong to tell Billy to knock it off.
I explained, not in recrimination, more lawyering for Billy.
I'm kinda going slow letting Billy have her head, letting her get some thoughts, then my hope is over time to guide her thoughts in useful directions.
So long as Billy is only barking I'm OK.

Sometimes like a child when the world is scary what people need is a good story.
Crazy/weird helps.

Yes I could be justifiably accused of hiding in my world from one I can not change.
But if each of us led good decent lives wouldn't that take care of a lot of it.
Beyond that all you can do is vote your conscience.

Kathy is the one that goes out into the world, I stay home.
But isn't everyone always sayin that you should leave your dog at home.
Anyway. My head is better today. I don't seem to suck as much.

Enough of world news for today. I'm tuning to Willie's Roadhouse till Billy Dog says it's chore time. 

One final thought. There are to many terrorists in the world n not enough Story Tellers.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Put On Your Big Girl Panties #pezoutlaw

The ladies here on the horse farm will say "Put On Your Big Girl Panties" to each other when it's time to step out of your comfort zone n get something done. I've always thought it a catchy way of saying that.

Best if a man never says  "Put On Your Big Girl Panties". Not a good idea at all.

Here's the deal. God bless n it's none of my business, I accept that. What women talk about or how they talk in private is there business.

BUT! I just need to know why men working real hard on a shingle roof in 100 degree temperature don't get the same consideration. The harder men are working, I mean serious sweat in your nethers really working, the rougher the language n topics can become.

A man knows better than to walk up on a woman's serious conversation or at least he oughta. I'm just asking for the same. When men are busting it, don't give them looks for there words, turn your ears off. The language of a hard work site helps deal with the shit your dealing with.

So put on your big girl panties n let us get on with it.

post script.
There are Ladies around here that bust there asses right along side, manure, hay etc.
Guys don't be asses, tone it down.
If a women is working at your side bale for bale, show her the respect she's due. Watch your mouth.

Here's a suggestion guys. When the work crew is male and female, crazy is a very good substitute.
Josh, Matt n I were laughing so hard last time we did hay that I almost choked sucking in hay, when doing 6 high. No idea what actual lunacy was.

The above was only relating to those truly shitty jobs that are ours alone.

Kathy works pretty hard every day n when it's getting to her, I know enough to tread lightly.
If I don't, I'll get my ass handed to me. Those Brodebeck women are not to be trifled with.

Time will tell if I made it out of this one intact.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Above Standard #pezoutlaw

Is a performance level of above standard actually a good thing?
Sets a pretty low bar, don't you think.

Seems to me that it's saying. 
At the level of acceptable behavior, you buddy are a notch above.

Am I to be proud of just being a tad above standard?
I suppose it beats mediocre.

I think I just got a trophy for showing up.

Hey Mom, aren't you proud of me now. I'm above standard.

My excitement at receiving this rating prompts me to tell the world, you too are all Above Standard.

Thank you ebay. I'm just so proud.

While we're on the subject of being Above Standard.
For the life of me I do not understand or know how to use instagram.
Seems like you just get a handle on one thing n they invent a new thing to confuse the hell outa you.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


The Impossible, Why Not #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Yesterday for whatever reason Kathy looked at me n said How are we gonna handle all this.

Kathy seemed to be having a dawn or revelation of the impact of a coming storm.

I have not seen a unicorn yet but I expect to in the next few days. Don't ask me why but I believe that this is gonna happen. Maybe it's because daily I deal with the thought that I've got roughly 2 decades left, then none of it matters anyway. So I flip that n say, Why Not.

Which also was part of my answer on how we handle what I believe is coming. Why not, because life should be about the impossible becoming reality.

Plus this whole thing has been packaged into an entity. That entity is no longer me, it's a character that I have been in charge of writing his history for a decade now. So Why Not.

This would be naive of me if I hadn't already been down this road once before. I've already made the mistakes that the coming storm will bring. To that point. During the last decade as I have prepared Pez Outlaw I have gotten my feet firmly replanted on the ground as to what's important n what is not. I had no choice, poverty is a strict teacher. I've also instituted protocols to handle any outside noise or distraction.

Last time I was in the middle of the storm like Billy Dog running round n round. This time by the very nature of what I've constructed I will be outside looking in.

That's the plan anyway.

One final note. To my core I understand what is real n what are things other people enjoy or think cool. Others thought the story in Playboy was my dream come true. NO, not even in the ballpark. The story in Playboy was a means to an end. I had no feeling about it at all. You know good for Jeff, hats off n all that but in my life my reality, no. Think about it, how shallow n meaningless would my life be if a story in Playboy made my life worth living. No!

I Still owe the bank a bit over $150,000.00 from the Pez Outlaw years, that debt must be paid. That matters. Making some overdue changes here on the farm, that matters, that's important. Making it so Kathy does not have to work so hard, THAT MATTERS!

Best stop before I say more than I should or am allowed.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Not Pissing People Off? You're Doing It Wrong. #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

I seem to have a talent for pissing people off.
I think pissing people off is my superpower.

I could not possibly count the number of of people I have pissed off getting Pez Outlaw this far.

People I did business with that were screwing me that are now pissed that I'm talking.

Old Scott McWhinnie Pez Corporation because I exploited there weakness.

New Pez Corporation because I won't stop telling the story.

I've also pissed off about half of the Pez collecting community with my story and methods of promoting it. 

I'm relentless on facebook n twitter.
I state my case for Pez outlaw in very bold terms.
Neither is gonna gain me favor with people in general.

People want a humble Hero.
Problem is, I started from scratch building n writing the Pez Outlaw story.
Nobody was going to tell the Pez Outlaw story or promote it if I didn't. 
Now people are interested but that took 15 years of work.
So why do I keep promoting now?
I will stop running only after we actually cross the finish line.
After 15 years I do not know any other way.

I love that phase "bend the cost curve".
Somehow I think some iteration of that nonsense could be applied to how n why those that try to control me get so frustrated.

Every since I was a child people have thought that they could handle or control me.
Often by exerting pressure over me.
It never works.

What my fr-enemies have never understood is.
Everybody is not everybody else.
The fact that some of us are just to stupid to realize we can not beat you and it becomes a war of attrition n who will fight the longest. 
The war in Afghanistan is the longest war in American history, 14 years.
I've been fighting Pez Corporation for 15 to 17 years.

Once you take everything from someone they have only 2 options, curl up n die or fight with no holds barred. 
It's like knowing you are inches from dead so why not everything you can to fight your way back.

Someone who has Parkinson's told me "I'm trying to outrun it", after I said how hard they worked day in day out.

In essence. When you have nothing to lose, you are liberated because you have nothing to lose.
That's the problem when you take almost everything someone has. What they have left is outrage n anger.

When the name Pez Outlaw is "famous" I want you all to know I/he would not be here without Kathryn Ann's love that kept me alive.
Above everything else, she is what matters to me.
The rest of the world, EHHH! Kathryn Ann, YES MAM. 
I try my hardest never to Piss her off. not good. not good.

Notes From The Asylum has been around for 3 months and today it hit 60,000 views.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, January 5, 2017

5 stages of grief #pezoutlaw #hollywood

The K├╝bler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, postulates a series of emotions experienced by survivors of an intimate's death, wherein the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

With everything happening right now this has many applications n meanings.
That said, let's leave the broader analysis to better minds n better writers. 
I'm only an expert on my own experiences.

I've had an 18 year journey with the 5 stages of grief.
My entire life I felt an emptiness n longing for something.
In the 1990s in my 40s I finally felt I'd found the thing I'd been searching for.

In later years our lives are comprised of our memories.
With each of us one section of our life stands out to us as that time period that defines us.
For some it's High School, others it's war n the brotherhood they experienced, Birth, children n family.
My life defining period where I lived as I had dreamed to my whole life were my years as Pez Outlaw.

It's not important that my dreams manifested in the form of Pez dispensers.
What's important is that my yearning to achieve purpose n success independently was finally in my grasp.

I'd found my muse in Pez, something I could shape to find meaning and achieve my life's yearnings.
All went well for quite a while, I thought I finally had the world by the tail.

At the end of a decade I realized sometimes you think you've got the gator when in reality, the gator has you.
I set myself up for disaster when I brokered a 1/2 million dollar deal with Pez Corporation, unable to realize the treachery that lay just around the corner.

After years of beating Pez Corporation at every turn, I had begun to believe I was invincible.
I started believing my own myth.

What followed is well documented in Pez Outlaw Diary so I won't bore you here.
The short of it is I lost every penny.

That was 1998 n the year I started the 5 stages of grief that actually lasted for the next 18 years.

For the next 3 years 1998 thru 2001 I refused to accept what had happened n fought with everything I had to beat Pez Corporation.
In true David vs Goliath fashion I had a few wins.
I destroyed the marketability of the product that had been produced to destroy me.
I also believe that what I call The Pez Color War (see  C12. The Day I Died) led to the retirement of the President of Pez USA Scott McWhinnie.  

Reality though was my wins came at a very deep cost.
I lost almost everything I'd spent over 20 years building.
So, Denial I think covers it pretty good.
In 2001 I reached my anger phase which manifested itself as my book Pez Outlaw Diary , which I spent most of the next decade writing n rewriting.
My anger n hatred was palpable, I was like a mean old dog with a bone.
I honestly don't blame all the folks that ran away, just tired of hearing it.     

Bargaining took 2 forms, both of which occurred more or less at the same time starting in 2011. 
I created ebay listings for Pez Outlaw Diary  ,one to publish it as a book n the other for the movie rights.
At the same time I also created a chapter ( C13. Hollywood or Bust  )that can only be described as bargaining on many levels.

After the initial high of my genius plan (Sarcasm Sheldon) in bargaining, which lasted a year or so came depression.
My depression lasted about 3 years, say 2012 to 2015.
Depression is probably why I behaved like such a jerk to the Hollywood producer who initially contacted me in 2014.

In 2015 when Jeff Maysh contacted me about writing his story, I was finally at the acceptance stage in my grief.
I realized Pez Outlaw Diary had gone as far as I could take it, so this time I said yes. 
Jeff flew out from California n spent a weekend doing his interview.
Jeff's story The Pez Outlaw has since won 2 awards.

As jeff was in his car leaving I asked him to roll down his window.
Hey Jeff you should contact X movie producer who contacted me a year ago, I owe him for my jerk behavior.

Jeff did contact X movie producer n I am currently under contract for movie n book rights.
No comment beyond that.

So there are my 5 stages of grief.
see you at the movies.

Christmas Lights in Mid July.
Complete laziness or thinking ahead?
Well over halfway there, starting to look like a go getter.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

I wish I could make the head on my new image ratchet left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.


Just did google search on Pez Outlaw movie. Nothing yet. 

Pez Outlaw - You're Welcome. #pezoutlaw

To My way of thinking there is no limit to the potential of the character Pez Outlaw.

The only limits to his success are the limits of the imagination of the writer.

Sinister but what the hell. 
What if the whole Pez thing n the Pez Outlaw character was only a cover used by an International Hit-man.

In context, after all this is Notes From The Asylum, So International Assassin, Why Not?
Were all those faxes to Germany about Pez Guns actually coded messages about weapons procurement? No wait that would make Pez Outlaw an International Arms Dealer not an Assassin. HMMMM, that's a possibility.

You tie all the timetables of Pez Outlaws travels to High profile assassinations all over the globe.
You're welcome.

The story of the travel, the crazy. That's just the premise to build from, a framework of facts to anchor the story.

Imagination could carry the rest. Like I've said go nuts, I just do not care.

After all, better to be busted for smuggling than as an International Assassin.

Do you really believe Pez Outlaw made all those Millions just buying n selling Pez? 

Pez Outlaw would not even get out of bed on a Hit for less than One Million Dollars. 

All I can tell you is this. When a certain writer from California we all know n love came here. I took him for a walk in the woods, where we came on a couple of prepared holes in the ground. The look on his face was "What The Hell?"

the holes are all filled in now.

It's the Asylum not Harvard. You expected poetry?

sorry took me a minute to catch that you're thing. 

The Time Travel one I will admit is only to emphasize silly.  

Pez Outlaw Diary