Monday, December 25, 2017

Talkin Outa Turn #pezoutlaw #hollywood

This post has been censored by my editor, Kathryn Ann.
I might add that there has been a larger than normal amount of censorship in my life lately.
I've gotten the hook, fingers across the throat to cut, strong suggestions to remove dialog n erges to tone it down in general.
My wife says NO, then it's no.

I honestly don't know how she even saw this, I didn't know anybody even read this stuff.

December 25, 2017
You know how on a plane they tell ya to put on your mask, then help others.
Snowing n blowing this morning, doors stuck n horses hungry.
Weather don't mean you get the day off, the babies need carin for.
Ate then went out n tended to food n water.

I love ole tenney, just open the stall n point to the gate for outside n he gets it done.
Actually, Gotcha, Roz n Red are the same way.
Most of the horses round here listen because I do for them n listen to them.
I can't tell you the number of time I've opened the back gate wide open to drive the tractor in n all I gotta do is tell Honey n Tenney no n they turn n walk back a ways.

There's a give n take to animals, good relationships mean finding the balance with them.
I will wait years for an animal to find there way.
That patience is rewarded by a much deeper understanding n friendship.


Still single digits n below ZERO out, very challenging.
Told Danny n Geoff last night that I like to spend about 4hrs outside each day with the animals so I have a better idea of what there dealing with.
No shortage of things to do in zero weather, so not a problem.
Takes twice as long to do things in extreme cold.
Horses are doing good though.


Bone ass cold again today.
Can I say that on TV?
Actually it's colder.
Gets much colder n we're gonna have to have a horse slumber party in the arena.
Tractor froze up 2days ago.
Horses are doing fine.

The title of this post very easily could've been, "They keep sneaking in on us".

A couple of the gals from Cindy's horse boarding facility down the road stopped by yesterday.
Told one of the gals a new horse was coming today.
She was commenting on how many boarders we have, which prompted me to say "Yeah they keep sneaking in on us".

There are 18 to 20 horses here at the moment, 1/2 are boarders n 1/2 are rescues of one type or another.
That's a bit fast but generally the situation.

We allow a very small number of folks to board here out of friendship.
We are not a boarding facility n do not want to be one.
Problem is, New Boarders keep sneaking in on us.

My n I hope our dream is to transform the farm into a horse rescue facility.
If by some miracle they make the Movie n Jeff n I write the book, that's the end game.
Get ourselves into a financial situation that we can just take care of horses that need a home.
There are just to many horses out there that need a good home or a place to live out there retirement.

The Old Man had been at several farms in his life, when he got to us he just needed his Gold Watch.

Johnny Cash - people thought they wanted him but as he was leaving (he stopped here as a transition point) he looked at me n I could very clearly hear him saying "I want to stay here"
A week later Johnny came back n that was the end of it.

Red - people paid good money for him, then he hurt himself n had a pretty bad eye injury.
Red came here to rest n be treated, we have a very good friend who helps, Dr. Katie Collier.
Red got back to 100%, then Kathy asked me if red had asked to stay yet, well that's pretty much all he'd been talking about so yeah he asked.
Why, Red's people don't want him back n asked if we'd take him.
Well Red's here now n that's the end of that.

Cowboy/Smokey/Boy n Dunkin/Dub are 2 more. 
I mean talk about great horses, Boy n Dub are Rockey Mountain Horses.
It kinda don't get better than Rockies.
Old story, Lady had 15 horses n ran completely outa money.
She did the honorable thing n just immediately gave away $2,000+ horses as fast as she could.
Unfortunately Dub n Boy had been on the short end of 15 horses n not much food.
Lots of food n years later n both Boy n Dub are magnificent.
Smokey Boy is our resident Rastafarian, He loves his dreads, rolls in mud to get them.

Tricksie - she's our little miracle worker.
We got a Boarder horse that can't make friends.
She asked Tricksie if she'd be her friend n of course tiny little tricksie she is, she said sure.
Now if you wanna bring in the big show horse, you just get Tricksie n she follows.
Ponies like Tricksie lose there homes real quick because kids outgrow them real fast.

Then you've got your old soldiers like Tenney.
Ten was a husband horse.
Husband Horses are safe horses to keep hubby happy so mamma can go riding.
Husbands move on in one fashion or another, meaning husband horses need a new home.

Honey B. - the family just moved on n horses were no longer in the plan.
Honey is just amazing, put any misfit you want in with her n she'll straighten it out within days.
Honey can be a shrew with the Wild Bunch but you bring her out n saddle her up n she then becomes the absolute best kids horse you could get.
Pen life vs arena life, two very different things.

I went through all that n that's not everybody, to illustrate the need for a home for unwanted really good horses.
I used to rebel at the thought of how many horses we had that weren't paying.
Something has happened over the last month or so though, I've made peace with reality.

My friends are these Horses n Dogs, I like them n I like talking to them.
Of course to answer your question, the horses n dogs talk to me.
I'll illustrate.

Yesterday Bo had been giving me a hard time for about n hour.
Kathy n the new gal were standin there n I said look at him starin at me.
Plain as day Bo was saying, Dude quit jackin your jaw n get on with it.
A minute or two later that potlicker started treating me like I was kinda slow.
Bo'd walk a dozen foot toward his manger then look back at me, walk another dozen foot n look at me again.

Well hell son, I ain't that slow.
So I got on with it.
You wanna hear animals talk, Pay Attention to Them.
That's it no trick, just make an effort n listen
Animals are talking to us all the time problem is that we aren't listening.
You gotta let your shit go n give them a chance to get a word in edgeways.

A lot of times when an animal starts acting out it's exactly because you are refusing to listen to there side of the story or needs.
Before you ride a horse you need to ask them how they're feelin today.
Are they sore, are there feet OK, does that gear suit ya?
Poor choice of bit, horses will tell ya what works best for them.
Saddle Fit, Dang that ones important.
Then your horse acts out n nimrod you are you blame them.

I can't tell you the number of times I've asked the following question.
Somebody will be havin a dickens of a time with there horse.
I ask them, Are you talking to him/her?

When I rode I preferred bareback, never a bit, just a halter n 1 lead rope.
We got along just fine.
Then I realized, I preferred walking in the company of a horse more than riding.
Now I just meander about n talk to them.
Folks always look funny at me.
Like, Who's he talkin to? 

Out East one time, Kathy n friends decided to go riding.
The people at the stable actually took the horse away from me because I wouldn't ride it.
I kept getting off n just walking the horse.
For some reason they got really pissed. 
Fair enough, because to be honest there stupidity really pissed me off.

So like I said These animals are my friends.
I enjoy talking to them n doin for them.
I'll tell ya what also.
You get in a corner with a horse n he'll give ya the benefit of the doubt in a pinch.

Yesterday I had to open a pen n prep it for that new horse that was sneakin in.
When I got ready to leave, there I was 30ft from the open gate on the tractor.
Old Busta came charging at me n that open gate.
Cover your ears I curse sometimes, hey why not they/horse curse at me.
No violence but we do curse.

"God Dam You Busta, You Owe Me".
I put one finger up in the air after cursing him out n he stopped right there.
Not that one. 
Busta said "Just Screwin with ya Dude, I know I Owe ya".

Here's the thing about me saying that a horse owes me.
I do for these horses every day n I ask nothing.
Except if a horse n I get in a corner, I expect they lean a bit in my favor.
I expect that they all see that as a fair exchange for my labor.
Any horse that can't see or get that is gone in 24hrs.

My hope is that they make the movie n we write the book so that we can turn this place into a Horse rescue for all my friends n the friends I've yet to meet.
Let's leave the horse boarding to Cindy n Brad, folks that like that sorta thing.

Now that don't mean people can't come here n enjoy the Horse arena or the Trails.
N if we get real lucky some surprises, visitin folks would really enjoy. 
"VISIT" means you n your horse go home, no more sneakin in n boarding.

That's the plan anyway, God Willin. 
I love Tellin Animal's stories. 

That new gal that was here yesterday thought she had to hurry up cause Kathy was goin out to supper with folks.
She said I better get goin so you all can get to supper.
Told her I wasn't goin anywhere, that I really don't leave the farm.
New gal looked puzzled, I really didn't go into it.
Just said, everything I want is here, the world holds nothin for me anymore beyond this farm.

That's it for today.
Gotta build a new Haynet feeder for the New Appy Baby.

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.
my blogs have received 1,000,000 views

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Buy Me A Boat #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

So I can cut it up? 

Well there at it again.
They just keep cutting up perfectly good boats.
Just this morning I heard a new one for Flex Tape.
You guessed it, they cut a boat in half n taped it together with Flex Tape.
Then they put the boat on the water to show how good there Flex Tape is.

If I hadn't written this 3 months ago, I'd have written it again today.
So I re-posted it.

It struck me last night that there seems to be an odd fetish with boats n $19.95 TV products.

Who was it that decided the most effective way to prove something involved a boat.
Is it like, well we will use a boat to establish hands down no rebuttal that our product is the best.

Is it a fear of water thing? Use a boat, show them that we got there backs.

You've got the infamous TV commercial where they cut the bottom out of a boat n  put a screen door in it. OK that's crazy, I like it. Then you spray the screen door with the product n show a guy on a lake, Safe as Houses. Ok a truth in my rant. I was surprised to hear that this same spray "rubber" was being used to protect houses in flooding areas. Kinda cool.

Under the category of. Well it worked for them.
Now you have the glue that can bond "anything". That only hardens after you shine a UV light or something on it. Well you guessed it, out comes a boat, but this time they cut the boat in half.
Use the glue to put it back together n there's that guy on the lake again.
I feel safer already.

It truly is amazing what you can buy on TV for $19.95. But wait, call now n we will double your order. You get Two.
Crazy thing is, I want both of them.

I have to admit that I really like these TV Commercials, maybe more than is healthy.

Money may not buy happiness but it will buy me a boat. Then, good little redneck that I am, I'm gonna cut it in half and put a screen door in the bottom of it. Cause I sure do love those commercials.

If they make a movie out of the Pez Outlaw story.
First three things I'm buying with my millions. (inside Joke. I'd probably clear $35,000)
1. A case of that spray stuff, Lying 2 cases.
2. A bunch of that UV light magic glue.
3. 5 years worth of survival food.
OK there's a 4 n 5.
4. A generac propane generator.
5. Wind n solar methods of producing electricity.

That's after I pay all debts.
You see my hit in 1998/Pez was like the rest of the US's hit in 2008.
I just got hit a decade ahead of you all.
It changed me like 2008 changed you.
My goal is to be self sufficient.

Wanna know a secret? I really don't care how good these posts are, it tickles me to write them.
New Redneck Survival Kit.
Meals Ready To Eat, Duct Tape, Zip Ties, Rubbery Spray and UV Light Glue.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

WARNING! Will Robinson. WARNING! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Funny Story as a soft lead in. I actually used to sell Pez to Will Robinson n Eddy Munster.  Billy Mummy n Butch Fitzpatrick. I also sold Pez to others in Hollywood but through agents etc, never knew who they were. Now I sell cereal boxes to movie prop people occasionally. Oh yeah n that naked girl floaty pen Booth used as a prop earlier years on Bones, mine. I only share this now because it's been a decade (statute of limitation on secrets) n they are good stories.

I was asked recently. Wait, are you saying that you would do publicity?
You won't leave the Farm, You won't talk on telephones, but you're saying you would do publicity.

Under the right conditions Yes, Yes I would do publicity, if you are really sure that's what you want.
My wish list of conditions to do publicity for a Pez Outlaw Movie.
1. A very large Body Guard.
2. Point to point transportation.
3. A very compressed schedule, jam everything you want into as small a time frame as possible.
Under those conditions I'd go anywhere in the world you like, meet n talk with anyone you like.

I would wade through a pool of POO up to my chin to take care of my family.
Being rather poor, I hate to admit it to you but I kinda have already. Literally.
So I actually said that out loud?

I'm sorry, truly I am for the coarse imagery, sometimes just spelling it out in literal terms is the only way to get the precise point across.

No matter what, I will not talk on telephones. I guess by now you could call that one a phobia.
Other than that though, I am a WHORE, if you pay me.

Well, that cost me 1 friend on facebook.

OOOH! Sorry I got distracted, you were saying?

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Are we who we think we are or are we who others see? #pezoutlaw #hollywood

This Michigan Farmer Made $4 Million Smuggling Rare Pez ... - Playboy

This all comes up because I started linking the above story about me to the GoFundMe page I started.
To be honest with you I've never read the whole story, only parts n that's where the post comes from.

The parts of this story I have read are like when someone makes you listen to your own voice that they recorded, it never matches what you think you sound like.
The parts I've read make me question, is this how others see me, especially the part about being an angry person spending my days writing hateful things about pez corporation.

It's not the first time unfortunately.
Someone wrote a very cutting response to a post I made on facebook n as much as I hate to admit it, it bothered me a great deal.
So much so that I stopped posting anything on facebook.

I don't question other peoples perceptions of me, but it can be unsettling.
Truthfully I question everything I'm doing every day.
The choices I've made n the directions I've went on behalf of Pez Outlaw.
Am I just to far down the rabbit-hole to see what I'm doing the way others do?

Every day I just wish I could walk away, but I hear a voice saying that I just can't.
It's not finnished.

From the beginning 19yrs ago people said, just let it go, walk away.
You know what, I'd really like to n love the idea of that even being possible.
The problem is 19yrs ago I owed $250,000.00 on the pez I purchase from Pez Corporation that they duplicated n today I still owe approximately $175,000.00

I'm reminded of this whole episode in my life 3 times every month when we must make a combined payment roughly $2,400.00 to the bank n getting nowhere on the debt in 19yrs.

If the bank would just say, you seem like a nice fellow so we're gonna forgive the debt or the money magically appeared n I could pay it off.
Then yes n Hell Yes I'd walk away.

I think the safest thing to do is write from my heart n leave it to the reader to decide.
Are we who we think we are or are we who others see?
OR, Just Crazy.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, December 18, 2017

Inoculating Against Celebrity. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I've always understood that if you seek to rise from the crowd, you become a target.
People who are condemned to mediocrity or failure need to find a reason or consolation for why you rose n no matter how hard they try, they can not. Some form of consolation. Therefore you must have cheated, been dishonest or simply are not a good person.

Mediocrity demands a tethered Goat.
Think I'm overly harsh? Look at all the examples of the mighty who fall n the glee that there decent is gossiped about.

That is precisely why when I started writing Pez Outlaw Diary I knew I had better expose my own skeletons myself. I knew that if I did not disclose everything myself, that the very second I achieved anything with Pez Outlaw Diary somebody would come along wishing to grab some limelight by telling tales.

So I wrote Chapter 11. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, S... . I knew that no matter how embarrassing my past might be, I wanted to achieve whatever was possible only with it being all out there, every step of the way.

What I did not figure into my reasoning was that CRAZY would become part of the persona of Pez Outlaw. Crazy became that part that was interesting n made him tick. Crazy is now an integral part of the Pez Outlaw brand.

Political strategists will always advise, get it all out there early, so that it can become old news.
The newer trend is to own it. Don't let others bully you with it.
So Pez Outlaw is Crazy. Yes of course he is, what's your point?

You used Heroin when you were a young man. Yes, what's your question?
Did you use other drugs as a young man? Yes, everything I could get my hands on.
Were you ever diagnosed as a schizophrenic? Yes, among other things, yes.
Have you ever been in jail? Yes, 30 days maximum security.

I've been told that very soon my life will be in the spotlight.
I figured I better highlight my negatives again before somebody else does.
To say the least, I am not a perfect person.
I strive to change, be better.

The Good n the bad, I am Pez Outlaw.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Nothing That a Cup of Coffee n $10,000.00 Won't Fix #gofundmepezoutlaw #pezoutlaw

I am an imperfect messenger, please forgive that.

The goal is to raise $10,000.00
The purpose of raising this funding is to continue my work with Pez Outlaw Diary and Notes From The Asylum.

Plus $8,000.00 to pay on hay bill n get enough hay to last the winter.

I need to take care of today n deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.

I view this GoFundMe effort as bridge funding, I still hope that Pez Outlaw will become a Movie. I had a contract with Warner Brothers but it lapsed, said to show you I'm not crazy n that the story has merit.

The rest of the story.

For 2 decades now people have wondered why I continue with this.
I've even been referred to as an angry little man who spends his days writing hateful things about Pez Corporation.
I believe I owe everyone an explanation.

On that day in 1998 when I paid Pez Corporation 1/2 million dollars for exclusive specially designed by me pez dispensers I had 4 full time employees n 3 part time employees.
When Pez Corporation duplicated everything in Breach of Implied Contract it made my 1/2 million dollar investment near worthless.
This action by Pez Corp was intended to destroy my company n it did.

By 2002 Joshua performed his last act for my company by firing himself.
I now had zero employees n $250,000.00 of debt.
Kathy my wife took over half the work n I took over the other half.

Right about here in 2002 is when Kathy's left arm started to shake.
I'm not allowed to tell you about Kathy's Parkinson's or how what Pez Corporation did by ruining me financially makes dealing with Parkinson's very challenging.

Kathy's struggle with Parkinson's is not my story to tell but it is the reason that I will not forgive Pez Corporation for intentionally ruining me financially.
When I think of how much easier the last 15yrs could have been for Kathy I do get quite angry.
You may not know but stress is a very aggravating factor if you have Parkinson's.

For more on Pez Outlaw please read

This Michigan Farmer Made $4 Million Smuggling Rare Pez ... - Playboy
Pez Outlaw Diary | Pez Price Guide #pezoutlaw #hollywood: Catch ...

Notes From The Asylum

In 1998 I remortgaged my home for $125,000.00
I also got a line of credit for $125,000.00

I lost everything.

19yrs later, I still owe approx $60,000.00 on the $125,000.00 remortgage and approx $115,000.00 on the $125,000.00 line of credit loan.

At 66yrs old and on social security this debt is strangling us.

About the horses.
My wife has been a handicapped riding instructor for almost 40yrs.
Now in later life she is training the next group of instructors for handicapped riding and placing them with a local facility that she used to teach at.
She is currently training 3 more Handicapped Riding Instructors ( she does this training for free ) and has 2 of them placed in jobs while she finishes them.

We also take care of horses at no charge for 2 handicapped riding groups, the current count is 3 horses.
Add to that, we appear by all evidence to be a horse rescue facility but without the tax exempt status.

You got an old horse you don't want to care for, somehow they end up here to retire.
Tenny n the Old Man (the old man just passed away)

You got horses that you can't afford to feed, they end up here.
Smokey Boy n Duncan, skinny as rails when we got them.

Ponies n Horses you just want gone from your life, they end up here.
Paco, Honey B, n Red.

I'm not crazy about any of this being the truth, but it is.

We try to find sponsors (little girls n women who want to ride) for the various horses n ponies that live here with about 1/2% success rate.

We also use some of these horses as lesson horses so that they can help pay there way, again with about a 1/2% success rate.

I/we would really like to do more but that takes money ergo the GoFundMe request.

Thanks for your time.

Pez Outlaw/sj glew

To give you an idea of who I am now.
For Christmas I received Gift Cards to Menard's.
I plan to get some screws, new drill bits n I'm running low on duct-tape.

After Pez Outlaw I hope to retire n just work on the farm taking care of the horses, because the horses n the dogs are my friends.
new profile pic captures my essence


Pez Outlaw Diary
for the rest of the story


Thursday, December 7, 2017

My B Movie Life #pezoutlaw #hollywood

In the beginning the cloud that now covers us all was unknown. 
What we knew, was accepted.
The hated future was not even contemplated.
Once revealed, the lines were drawn.

My friend warned me of the peril.
I thought I heeded his advice.
My stance was tempered.
Could the hatred be that strong?

Was I to blind to see it?
I refuse to mouth the words agreed upon.
All fall in line or are shunned.
Did I choose to late?

Was the warning only for me?
Is it even possible to correct the past?  
I just don't care anymore.
My world is small, my needs are few.

Do you finally understand how this works?

Pez Outlaw 

exclamation: eh
  1. used to represent a sound made in speech in a variety of situations, in particular to ask for something to be repeated or explained or to elicit agreement.

    "“Eh? What's this?”"

Has the life of Pez Outlaw reached the point where his adventures are now being retold as urban legend?

One of the biggest mistakes I made in the 90s was selling before all possible product had been acquired.

Check out Pez Outlaw, Notes From The Asylum. Movie Rights $85,000.00

opening shot
an 8 year old child, (1959) Pez Outlaw being dragged to, then pushed into the classroom closet at the Maple Grove Elementary school. Darkness, then the door opens revealing Pez Outlaw 10 years later in solitary confinement county jail Ohio. 
see C1. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, #pezoutlaw... for the rest of this story 
scene 2
She Whispered, "Kolinska" With that one word, Kolinska, a decade long Fairy-tale that changed my life began.

Segue to a crowded Pez/toy show floor where a woman whispers Kolinka in my ear to Josh n I on the little plane to Ljubliana about to die. see C3.She Whispered, "Kolinska" #pezoutlaw #hollywood... for the rest of this story

scene 3

1994 Flight to Ljubljana. After waiting all night on benches in a small corner of the Vienna airport finally it was time to board. We walk out onto the airstrip & are directed to board Sky Kings plane. 
“Sky King” starred Kirby Grant as Schuyler “Sky” King and Gloria Winters as his niece, Penny.

Pilot copilot & 4 seats for passengers. One of the seats occupied by the overweight male stewardess handing out sandwiches from Rubbermaid containers. This did not look good. The flight turned out to be quite similar to a ride on a scary roller coaster with the male stewardess in your lap more than his own seat. Something to do with flying over the Alps in winter in a small plane, wind currents, downdrafts & low altitudes. We drove clown cars down through the mountains after that. The single most beautiful drive you will ever take is a winter drive from Vienna to Ljubljana through the mountains. The air is crisp & clean. The scenery unmatched anywhere in all my travels. Whenever I think of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen it is that drive in winter. Though driving clown cars through serious mountains can be a harrowing experience.

see C3.She Whispered, "Kolinska" #pezoutlaw #hollywood... for the rest of this story

Wardrobe. Me in my Trench Coat n Midnight Blue Velour Track Suit, clutching a paper towel in my left hand for security, true story. On the flight from the US to Europe I would not let the Flight Attendants take my coat as I did not trust anybody. 

 Sitting in my seat on that flight to Slovenia, I began wondering how I ended up here, sure I was about to die. The whispered word "Kolinska" that led me to that moment in time. From 1970 to 1990 I had been an accumulator of things old, from 1990 to 1994 I started doing antique n toy shows as a seller. During 1993 I started selling Pez from Canada, which led to the decade that changed my life's direction forever. All the previous was reflection while sitting on this plane ride from Hell, from here the adventure begins.

The story unfolds. 
 Reality TV pales in comparison to the life I lived for 11 years.  Hungary - 700,000 Pez Smuggled. Pez Outlaw 

Pez Outlaw Dispenser

 Spies, Black market deals, smuggling and Bribery.
10 years, Nobody could catch me.
I ran circles around the corporate cool kids and made them look like incompetents.

Final shot.
As the credits roll show a backshot of Pez Outlaw today sitting on set in the dark watching his life being made into a Hollywood Movie.
To me this is the money shot, telling the audience that after all that they just watched HE WON.
Life is hard n people need the encouragement of seeing that if you stick with it n believe in yourself, you actually can succeed. 

Box Office receipts weren't so great this past summer, What You Got To Lose by telling a middle class story of hope n dreams rewarded?

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Wednesday, December 6, 2017

OOOH! Shiny Object #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link

For more on Pez Outlaw please read 
This Michigan Farmer Made $4 Million Smuggling Rare Pez ... - Playboy

A thing created for someone-else's agenda can be recycled.
I'm all about reuse n re-purpose.

Something does not have to be likely to be possible.
I find I'm at my lowest when I lose faith in the possible.

I don't care how outlandish or probable something is if it gives me hope.
I just need something, anything to dream about.

Also, things are rarely what they appear to be at face value.
Sometimes something that very clearly appears to be a specific thing with a defined purpose has a completely different purpose n use.

That's not to say that it wouldn't be lovely if it's principle purpose came true, it's just that that wasn't it's true intent.


Is it that I'm rarely certain of exactly what I'm doing or why.
Or nothing is what it appears to be on the surface.

Are there agendas under the stated agenda.
When I'm talking to bob am I really talking to someone else I know is reading this.
In short, Am I the alligator?

Nothing I ever say is meant for just one ear or interpretation.
Let alone meant for only one outcome.

Only one thing is certain, and even that is not the stated subject.
The stated subject is simply the means to the true goal.
None of which are celebrity. 
Celebrity meaning the success of Pez Outlaw is just a means to an end.

The commonly held belief for the outcome of Pez Outlaw is a ruse.
That which others would roll like Preashus Pup over is not at all the goal.
To be honest the realistic win of that scenario does not cover the tab. 
For the goal/bill to be actually achieved takes a domino effect.

Pez Outlaw will go on to whatever future or mark he makes, but he n I will part ways once my true goals are achieved.

I've been speaking in riddles for so long now that at times even I'm uncertain.
Clarity seems to be a rare commodity in a world that demands it.

Some things in my personal life have clarity.
That would be the farm and what is expected of me by my employers, the horses n dogs.

Other things like Pez Outlaw not so much.
I have no idea what's going on at the moment with Pez Outlaw, I'm definitely not in the loop.
Truth be told I know less every day.

My dream is to just walk away?
Clear the racks, load the bin.
And never look back. 

Operating on autopilot.
Endless stream of Zero's.
No emotion, no investment.

Crazy isn't all it's cracked up to be.

For the record. Have you ever tried to argue with a computer.
The most ridiculous things are required just because the algorithm says so. 
Stupidity is irrelevant. You just comply n swallow the absurdity. 
You can not win an argument with a computer, they are cold and unfeeling.
Like a good little drone you answer stupid til the computer says you can go. 
Roughly 100 times today. 

OOOOH! Gotta Go, I see something shiny over there.
Swear to God, sometime I think my real name is Ricochet Rabbit.

One last thing.
Please explain to me why I'm voluntarily bugging my own home? 

After Pez Outlaw I hope to retire n just work on the farm taking care of the horses, because the horses n the dogs are my friends.
new profile pic captures my essence


Pez Outlaw Diary
for the rest of the story

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Blink #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link

Day Turns To Night, Reality Slips Away.
Yesterday was a bit unnerving for me.
My mother's been dead for about 40yrs, yet I expected her to come round the corner at any moment n tell me that it's time to come home.

This detachment from your world started when my watch was telling me it was Friday when I thought it was Thursday. (daylight savings am for pm slip up)
What bothered me the most is that I had no recollection of Thursday, nothing at all.
This error was backed up by the hay count, which also indicated it was Friday.
Add to that, the horses were still in n it was past noon.

My grip on reality is tentative at the best of times, so a lot of questions started running though my mind.
Was I dreaming? My dreams can be pretty vivid n seem quite real at times.
I used my dream escape hatch by closing my eyes real tight n opening them real fast.
Always works, nope I seem to be awake.

My father died from Alzheimer's  so I even thought maybe it was really night n this reality was the confused state that Alzheimer's victims see.

I also believe in parallel multi Universes.
You see I kinda wonder n believe that it's possible that when you die in this Universe that you immediately join with yourself in another parallel Universe to continue.
How else do you explain my survival after so many poor choices in life.

All these things went through my mind one after the other.
Here's the embarrassing thing.
I know right about here you think I'm joking or making an attempt at being clever.
Sorry I'm not that clever or funny, the sad truth is that this was my reality for about an hour.

Slowly reality crept back in, but I swear I expected at any moment my Mom would come round the next corner n say time to come home steven.

Kathy's been gone a few days n my mind gets to wandering when left untended.
Kathy is my tether to this world.

 Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Zombie Attack #zombie #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

My favorite Zombie shows are iZombie n Znation.
Damned Apocalypse. 
"Puppies n Kittens".

Puddy (baby Dachshund) decides that there is an intruder. Puddy sounds the alarm. ZOMBIE ALERT!

Billy (big ass Great Dane) That's a great idea, Let's do this. Starts Howling.
Po (brindle Bull Mastiff) n Pinky (albino Doberman) join in. Ya know, What fun.
Me, Nooooo! Sounds like you guys got it, Wake me again if it gets serious.
I fall back asleep to Billy Howling. Half asleep it sounds like she is singing.

Puddy sounds the Alarm. Intruder Alert!
Natalie is here doing chores.
Puddy, Bill, Pink n Po, we are not gonna let this go.
Well shit, it's time they went out in the pen to go potty anyway.

We want back in, it's breakfast time.
Po scratching on the door. Nails on chalkboard.
So I give them breakfast.

Puddy comes in on the bed, deciding it's time I get up.
Puddy attacks my face, then curls up next to me.

Puddy attacks my face again, bites my nose.
Time to get up.
Then Puddy starts the morning war with my hands.
Puddy is saying, you are gonna get up or else.
After 5 minutes of nonstop battle, I get up.

I'm in the office writing this, all the dogs are crashed out sleeping.
They are tired, after all it was a busy night.
Excuse me, a minute Puddy's at the office door, she want's in.

I guess everything went ok. No Zombie bodies on the floor this mornin.

Puddy Run A Muck.
Mom's Gone, Puddy's in Charge?

Zombie Apocalypse 

Who was it that decided that how you became a Zombie was a virus that we all cary n everybody that dies becomes a Zombie?

On most Zombie TV shows now, that seems to be the case.
In the old days, didn't you have to be bit to turn into a Zombie?

Brief note. I just wondered when the Zombie Apocalypse changed.

Who made that decision?

Just had a really cool idea Zombie Tag.
Not sure yet if there is a whole post on Zombie Tag.
Is Zombie Tag a reality show or a philosophical discussion about the state of play in society?
ie -  the 1% vs the 99%.  Political class vs the working class. etc. It's all like playing Zombie Tag.
not sure of the direction, work in progress.
Whoa Nellie! That's most definitely above my pay grade.
Tag you're it.
Yes I'm kinda fixated on Zombies lately, but aren't we all.

KABOOM! Just fun to say.
Also a great cereal box from General Mills.
Should I just end it here n be pithy.

I watched the movie Interstellar last night.
Interstellar as a movie was kinda in love with itself very talkie, very high concept along with heavy handed propaganda about global warming.
In spite of so many strikes against it, I liked the movie.
The movie could've easily been cut to 90 or 100 minutes, like I said parts were indulgent, preachy n in love with itself.

Where it lured me in was the weaving together of space n dimensional travel, wormholes and black holes. Interstellar also had a good story if you ignored the yuck.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

13.5 Rules #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

An idea is nothing but a lost opportunity without action.

Make all contributions of $19.95 payable to Happy Horse Asylum for the continued care of Pez Outlaw.

Rule #1. believe in your project with every fiber of your being, but you need to do the work.

Rule #2. The project needs to be the thing that excites you,  your idea of fun.

Rule #3. When you take on or start a project,  Do not let up. Push it  until it almost breaks, then push some more. You need to be relentless. Never give up, never give in. If at times you don't feel a little embarrassed by your efforts, you are holding back to much. 

Rule #4.  Open your eyes to the possibility that what you think you were doing, is actually not what you were doing. Projects evolve, you must be able to recognize the change, be open to it. Example, I'm beginning to believe this whole outlaw project was just warmup for Notes From The Asylum.
Rule #5. Turn your deficits into assets. Poor no money, Ah but you have time, use it. Obsessive compulsive, a unique ability to focus like a laser on a project. etc.

Rule #6. Do not allow other peoples opinions of what you are doing to hold you back. You are a unique individual, that uniqueness may be your biggest asset. Try to be like everybody else, to fit in, seek & gain the approval of others, is a one way ticket to mediocrity.

Rule #7. Do things the way you like to do them. Try mimicking others or forcing yourself into habits or patterns that you find unnatural/foreign & you will not succeed. It's your project, from the beginning do it the way you like, otherwise you might as well be working for someone else.

Rule #8. Any project requires a great deal of effort, years & years of tedious work. Day after day, year after year of having faith in yourself. People are gonna think you are nuts. You must believe in yourself before anyone else can possibly believe in you or your project.

Rule #9. You need to hear what others are saying, yet not let it affect your resolve. Criticism is only to test your resolve. Be open to critique that helps the project, but do not let it stop the project. If your resolve is strong enough, you will outlast your last critique.

Rule #10. Trust yourself. If you are wrong you can change it later. Second guessing yourself will only slow progress & kill the uniqueness of your project.

Rule #11. Don't be fragile. If a few harsh words are gonna curl you up with a blankey, you are doomed. Thick skin is required. To be perfectly frank, don't give a hoot in hell what other people think of what you are doing. Only care what you think about what you are doing.

Rule #12. Do not gage the success of your project by the big picture. You need to find small wins along the way. This is going to take a long time.  10 years is nothin.

Rule #13. You are only crazy if you think you are crazy, other than that it's the rest of the world that is goofy. "Normal speak", march to your own drummer. 

Rule #13.5 Never ask someone else if they think you are crazy. BIG, BIG MISTAKE.

Three things surprised me while writing Pez Outlaw Diary.

The first being that in 1998 buying pez for what became the Color Wars I spent $471,950.00 on Pez dispensers. The second surprise was that over an 11 year period of selling Pez I earned $4,530,899.00 in Gross Sales. Then lost it all in the Pez Color Wars. The third thing that surprised me when I realized it was. For approx 3 years by default I ran Pez USA. The reason I say this is for 2 to 3 years most of what Pez USA did was in direct response to what I was doing.

effects of one pivotal moment.
When life handed me my first pivotal choice, I said yes. I saw something & moved on it with everything I could muster. That first pivotal moment for me was in 1994 when I decided to start traveling to Europe buying Pez. Over 70 trips later the hobby had been changed, all hinging on that one decision to go. Decisions accompanied by actions impact events. 

My second pivotal decision to go forward with the Holiday Colors also had a huge impact on myself n the Pez Hobby. This time, not so good.

The third big pivotal decision for me was when I decided to write Pez Outlaw Diary. Everybody told me. Don't write this, just let it go. How do you let something like this go, while you still have breath in your body? People still think I'm crazy to take on a major international corporation like Pez. What are they gonna do, destroy me? To late they already did that.

The 4th pivotal decision I've made is to start writing in Notes From The Asylum.
see below.

I'm very content with the decision I made to take on this fight. To be honest it would have been against my nature to otherwise.

At this point in this life my only redemption will be if they decide to make the Pez Outlaw movie.
If they make the movie, I was justified in the faith of almost 18 years of work.
Unfortunately, if they don't decide to make the movie, then I was nuts.


You may or may not have noticed but since the inception of Notes From The Asylum I have deleted 100s of the posts.

I have a review process based strictly on views.
It used to be that 100 to 150 views n the post got deleted.
Now the bar is at over 250.
I can easily see the day that a post must achieve over 600 views in its first week to stay up.
The reason is simple, I only want well received posts for new viewers.

I would like to get to the point where a post must achieve 1,000 views in a month to stay up.

My hope is to create something worth viewing here at Notes From The Asylum.

I wanted to take a moment to explain.

Thanks for viewing.

Notes From The Asylum has achieved almost 600,000 views

Below are my most viewed posts.

Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw #NFTA...

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

I Humbly Submit #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Like you have a clue about being humble.

Americans are angry. Oh pushaw. 
No way, tell me it ain't so.

So what are or who are Americans angry at?
Government, what else is new?
Big corporations n the extremely rich. 
OK lets play with that one.

You knew this was probably gonna be about Pez Outlaw, Didn't ya.
I feel that the Pez Outlaw story is a perfect fit to the times n public sentiment.
After all Pez Outlaw is about an individual taking on a major International Corporation.
Pez outlaw is about the American dream, having an idea n pushing it to success.
Pez Outlaw is about Earning each dollar one by one not having wealth handed to you or earning 300 times your employees.
Pez Outlaw is about refusing to knuckle under to powerful forces.
Pez Outlaw is about Fighting n never giving up.

People are angry at Big Corporations, Why not give them a story that encapsulates that anger n fight?
Pez Outlaw is a story of it's time that everybody will be able to relate to.
When people watch Pez Outlaw on the big screen they will be rooting for him to win.
Knowing in there hearts that the very movie they are watching is the proof of his victory.

I've always felt that a lot of movies n TV shows fail because your customers, the viewers don't like, care or empathize with your character.
People are going to like Pez Outlaw, they are going to be entertained by his adventure.
People will respect his fight.

Add to that that Pez Outlaw is a quirky nutty, some would say crazy guy.
Honestly I do not see how the Pez Outlaw story could miss in today's mood.
I've been working for 15 years, for just this moment in time.
My chance to tell the Pez Outlaw story to America.

To me this is the story of a very average middle class person who tried to achieve the American dream. 
I finally figured out how to say this.
Yes I earned 4.5 million dollars in 11 years on a $4,000.00 investment, but in the end I lost $250,000.00 on a half million dollar investment that should have yielded a million, minimum.
I almost lost everything including my home.
The way back was 15 long years.
Here's the thing.
I once heard that you should be careful about the enemies you make because you will most likely see them again on your way down. I made enemies in my journey but Scott McWhinnie was the biggest. 

Scott McWhinnie was the President of Pez USA in the 1990s n he hated me with every fiber of his being.
Scott hated me so much that he matched my bet.
1 million dollars now on the table Scott McWhinnie raise my bet with his Presidency.
When our cards were laid on the table, we both lost. 
Our little game had made Scott vulnerable n he had enemies also.

How does one little farmer from Michigan create so much very personal hatred from a BIG CORPORATION?
Well boys n girls that's precisely our story.
The fight that unfolded over the next 3 years between the farmer n the President of Pez Corporation is our story.
The 15 years of work n refusing to give up that followed that fight is our story. 
Pez Outlaw, Pez Outlaw Diary n Notes From The Asylum is our story.
Jeff's Pez Outlaw story in April 2015 Playboy is our story.
Hollywoods interest in the Pez Outlaw is our story.

This is a truly American story, one that the American people have been waiting for.
Pez Outlaw is a story of n for our time.

Thank you for reading.
Pez Outlaw

If you are a book publisher n you've been amused by Notes From The Asylum, don't worry I've got a real writer Jeff Maysh ready to go. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Machiavellian #pezoutlaw #hollywood

When I was a child all was well hidden. I long for the days of ignorance.

Today we are told what we see playing out before our very eyes is actually an illusion.

At first blush we think, oh how cool n refreshing, then we are made privy to the Machiavellian reasons behind it.

Personally I preferred ignorance, enlightenment is so disillusioning.

I wish this was about just one thing but it seems to be happening over n over, the norm.

What is the world coming to when reality is a fictitious play.

The care to detail n complexity of the deceit that is passing as reality is frightening.

I always knew I did not know what was going on behind the curtain, now though the play is being put on in public.

Innocence was bliss.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

The Booby Hatch #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I play with crazy daily, because it amuses me.
Metaphorically I wait in my padded room wearing this years most fashionable straight jacket.

I wait for word on the next chapter of my life.

I wait for the words that announce the beginning, that in turn creates the interest in the thing that leads to what an average nobody could never dream of as there reality.

Again I'm asked, Are you ready for what's coming. Pardon my French but hell yes I'm ready. I've been waiting ten years, of course I'm ready. Can we please finally just do this thing.

Life is absurd.
I've traveled the world.
I've literally earned over 4.5 million in a decade.
Then returned to poverty.

I've Spent the last decade hatching my revenge on the absurdity of Life.

I've been famous in my own little world. I know the mistakes I made. I'm ready for my closeup CB.

Until that day I wait in my mental cell here in the Asylum passing notes under the door with no idea if there's just a pile of notes on the other side or if they are being picked up n read.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

MOE-RON #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I wish I could make that even bigger.

I love that country song that says money won't buy me happiness but it will buy me a truck.
OK he says boat first.
I love that song.

This was a postscript on another post but I decided that I had an opinion on it.

The wisdom of the masses is supposed to be that "money won't buy you happiness".
I guarantee you though that lack of money will give you no end of unhappiness.

I honestly believe that rich folk came up with that bit of moron (pronounced MOE-RON) to try to keep the huddled masses pacified.
We are told to seek internal wisdom n peace while rich folk seek what little money we have.

Can't have poor folk storming the walls of rich folks castles.

I've been poor, matter of fact twice now. In between I had money.
Let me tell you I was a damn sight happier with money to pay my bills than I am without.

I think rich folk are trying to reason with the poor on a philosophical level.
Granted the thought is enlightened but if you can't pay your bills, it makes you miserable. Sometimes physically ill.

I'm also tired of very rich people on both sides of the isle who run for political office pretending that they could possibly have any real idea what being poor actually feels like.

So you know, Shut The F**k Up. Will ya please.
cause, money won't buy me happiness but it will buy me a truck.

I told you, I can have an opinion.

Hey maybe I should write greeting cards.
I see a prosperous future.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Hermitology #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link

If left to my own devises, I would make Howard Hughes look like an extrovert.

Would someone please explain to me why I'm supposed to be nice to people I don't want around me. 
I just don't get why saying, Who are you n why are you here is wrong.
Seems logical to me to then say, you need to leave.
People are always saying they prefer honesty, but you know, they really don't. 

Recently a salesman asked me why he was here.
I told him, that's what I'd like to know.
By the way, that went over really well. 
I spend a lot of time in the Dog House.
So as you might guess I'm not allowed to talk to people sometimes.

Rule #1. No pictures of me. The minute you try or do we are done. I will just walk away.
If you need a pic, use the image below.

For over a decade now, I have rarely left the farm. 
My Amish friend Henry travels way more than I do.
I have horses but unlike Henry I do not go anywhere on them.
I'm not agoraphobic because I do go outside, just not off my property. 

Oh yeah n I do not talk on telephones.
No idea what a shrink labels that one.
Last but not least, I do not like having my picture taken.
Which is why my online image is inverted/a negative.
I lied, I also don't like to shake hands.

Quite a switch I know. In the 1990s I traveled constantly, All over Canada, Europe, even South Africa and Australia.

Now I rarely leave the farm, except for a trip to Menard's every few months, but honest to god that's about it.

When the Playboy article came out I was warned it would change my life, mmmmmmm, never noticed a thing.
I suppose if I used telephones or ventured into the world I might have.

Have you heard how people case your home via facebook to see when you're not home?
Well me n the dogs are always here, ALWAYS!
I have also strategically placed methods of persuasion all over the farm, that is besides the dogs.

Gotta tell you a story.
While at the gas station buying gas to mow. yes for El Diablo I used a telephone n I left my property. What can I say, you wanna beat the devil it takes extraordinary actions.
While pumping the gas I struck up a conversation with the guy accross from me pumping gas to mow.
The conversation was him. Never sharpened my blades so many times in one summer.
Me. Usually you mow (here in Michigan) every 5 days in the spring n every 10 days in fall. I'm still mowing once a week. He mows 4 acres, me 3.5 hrs per mowing.

Again at TSC to buy water softener salt etc.
I struck up a conversation with a forklift operator, about the pros n cons of planting fruit trees in the fall.

I like 5 minute conversations with strangers, you can be friendly n openly honest without the repercussions of people you will ever see again. repercussions as in someone wanting to or taking it as you wanting a friend, I do not.

1,000 Strangers

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit to you that I find it much easier to share m feelings or have friendship with 1,000 strangers than one person.

I know people that are in desperate need of friendship, they have not chosen to be alone. I feel very bad for them even if I have no understanding of there need.

I am perfectly content with one friend Kathy and my family dogs n horses.

Casual relationships beyond that suite me. I also enjoy this vague relationship of the internet.
I enjoy talking to the unknown.

I Like Facebook it suites me to a T.
I like the detachment of facebook.
I can talk to anyone I want, anywhere in the world yet take my time to formulate my thoughts. I can use words like formulate.
You know how you really prefer watching a movie on TV as apposed to a theater because you can pause it to pee or get something to eat or drink. Same thing.
Also facebook is the purest medium for talking to people with just your mind, if you choose.
I also do not have to do it at a specific time, to the annoying ring of a phone, nor do I have to leave my farm to do it.

On twitter but like my phone I rarely turn it on.
So if you want or need to talk to me, facebook is the only place that is likely to happen.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary