Saturday, December 31, 2016

Adult Diapers n 4 Hr Erections #pezoutlaw

Am I the only person on planet Earth that sees the irony of Adult Diapers n 4 hr Erections.

I'm becoming very confused by the Commercials on evening TV.

If TV commercials are any indication, we seem to be OK talking at great length publicly about erections, jellies for sex play, adult diapers, all manner of creams and cleaning supplies for women down there.

I'm told nightly that I can not get an erection. I need a Diaper because I seem to be peeing my pants a lot. It appears I also can not sleep. The bowels Oh my, they seem to leak, need fiber or softening. Almost forgot drugs for sanity that seem to all put you on suicide watch.

According to evening TV I'm a mess.

I'm just saying when n who decided it was OK to talk in such great depth about penis's, vagina's n butt's. It just seems to go on n on n on.

Kinda makes you long for cigarette commercials.

I gotta, just one last thing.
4 hour erections, seriously.
Can you think of one useful thing for a 4 hour erection besides well obviously, a hat rack.
Why in God's name would I ever wish that on myself. I went through that as a child, basically a walking erection for a few years. It was not pleasant in the least. I can think of nothing that would make me take a pill that might make me relive that.
To me wanting a 4 hr erection is on par with a desire for anal leakage. Another favorite of evening TV.

Now, I want to have sex, if I can get my adult diaper off.

Intimate body part TV, NOT A FAN.
Thank God for DVR's.

My new favorite print ad campaign is Go Commando, you know because you have finally wiped your butt good enough not to leave skid marks.
You can not make this "stuff" up. Correction, that's exactly what's being inferred.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Out Of Darkness, Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

When I woke this morning my head was just buzzing.
The thing that's missing in the Pez Outlaw story is, Why.
Not why did Pez Corp do what they did, but Why Pez Outlaw.
What led to him.

Makes me wish I had Jeff Maysh here at my side with his recorder so he could write it.
I guarantee this much.
When not if, Jeff n I do get together to write Pez Outlaw, we're going to rip it up.
My hope is that the end result will be the craziest thing you've ever seen or read.
Above all that you'll enjoy it n not be able to put the book down.

At the moment I don't so at a minimum I need to outline it.
What the story or rather Pez Outlaw Diary needs is a rewrite that de-emphasizes some things as what happened and emphasizes why.

I think defiance is at the core of it. An unwilling or inability to conform.
Literal out of darkness. see stories of being put in schoolroom closet in grade school.
see story of being put in the hole in county jail.
Metaphorically out of Darkness but not the core of it, Defiance was at the core.

A lifelong yearning to succeed at conflict with an inability to conform.
I sabotaged every opportunity of success.

I've never been able to do anything the easy way.
It's there, it's obvious, yet I always choose a different path.

I had the opportunity for a good job facilitated by my dad.
A job by the way that I'd be retired from years ago with a good pension.
I chose to go to the interview barefoot n defiant. ????

Instead I put those years in as a "Blacksmith" machinist/welder, 25 years.
No pension, no 401k, nothing.

My entire adult working life 1970-1995 was mostly economic lows within the US.
Only emphasizing the conditions that led to my willingness to do something crazy to achieve my dream.

In essence Pez Outlaw came out of the darkness.
My inability to conform in society, fed by crazy/isms. (OCD, Bipolar, Depression ect. tendencies on all)
Lower middle class childhood and the poor economic situation in the US, 1970-1995.
Both of these factors built the scenario where what I was about to do was something I was able and willing to do.

To summarize. My life experiences and mental outlook made something that seemed absurd to a normal person, appealing and doable.

That was the man and why he did what he did.
Now we get to the Creation of Pez Outlaw.

I created the character Pez Outlaw to put all of the baggage of over a decades labor and disappointment into so that I sj glew did not need or have to carry it around.
Pez Outlaw represents the opportunity lost of over 30 years of work.
Until I started writing Pez Outlaws story I had to carry around that loss every moment of every day.

Pez Outlaw was the light that showed me the way out of the darkness that followed my years with PEZ.

Because I was tired of doing things the hard way, I decided to trust Jeff Maysh and his people with my story.
Just once I decided to do things in the "normal" manner. An attempt to choose the obvious path.

To make the Pez Outlaw show better.
Like a Drive Time DJ I've got my cast of characters to elevate my show.
Zombies, Commie Pinko's, Baby Hitler, Seymour Butz, I P Freely and now a Crack Weasel.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Thursday, December 29, 2016

Pez Outlaw Will Not Disappoint #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Pez Outlaw - The M****

I Guarantee You That The Public Will Not be Disappointed In Pez Outlaw.
Half of my success selling Pez was showmanship.
The Public likes a Unique Character n I've almost got Pez Outlaw ready. 
I've been watching peoples reactions to me for almost 3 decades n tweaking the image. 
1994 to 2001's version was very successful but this, today's version is better.

I won't make finding Pez Outlaw easy, but that should only add to the character.
I realize that my window will be narrow, so I will need to work fast. 

Just fasten Jeff Maysh to my hip n we will get it done.
Jeff n I have to do the book anyway.

Entertainment Weekly had a story about the hazards of Movies made about living people.

Living subjects sometimes hurt the movie.
Embarrass The Movie by saying wrong things.
Like the guy from the Walk who said "that's not how it happened".
First, Moron why in God's name would you do that?
In other cases the subject just weirdo's out on them.

The response of the family to the new Steve Jobs movie has also got to be very disappointing for the studio.
With all due respect to the Steve Jobs family, It's a movie. The only real worry should be were people entertained. If movies were 100% factual, nobody would go see them.

I fully support whatever story decisions are made regarding Pez Outlaw.
All I care about is that people are entertained.

First thing I was told was, go ahead n dial the crazy up.
I can do that.
Second. I told them, "I just do not care, Whatever sells".

I am not married to that one moment in time.
That decade of Pez Outlaw is not a shrine that I worship at.
There is a bigger picture n the movies success is a part of that. 
I've still got stuff to do. 
I need you n this movie to reboot.
So go crazy, have fun, I'll be over here cheering you on.

Based on the story n life of is perfectly fine with me.
You can do as you like with Pez Outlaw or me.
I'm only interested in your success with the character.
So feel free.
I will support you in whatever way is needed.

With 3 provisos.
I want a very massive body guard.
Point to point transportation.
Compress everything so I can go home quick as possible.

Your Servant
Pez Outlaw

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

The Tonight Show w/ Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Please click adverts on my posts. otherwise I don't get paid. clicks are down.  

Standing in the wings waiting to go out on stage for an appearance on the Tonight Show to promote the Pez Outlaw Movie.

This post is about being true to yourself.

I may not leave the farm much but I do watch TV.
I see normal people who go on TV.
What I notice over n over is. If there not wearing there ill fitting funeral suit, they're wearing there best shirt.
To me neither is being true to yourself. You should not be ashamed to let the whole world see you as the people around you see you. 

That's why if I'm ever asked to be on the Tonight Show or do any personal appearances to promote a Pez Outlaw Movie. They will get the same person that the people around me see.
That means no funeral suit or best shirt. I'll wear my sweatshirts, jeans, muddy work boots n I don't wear my teeth for the folks around me so I won't wear them then either.

You should not be ashamed of who you are no matter what stage you're on and to me trying hard to dress up n not getting there is a betrayal of yourself.
You are never going to look as  good as the TV folks that you might talk to n trying but failing is just sad.
So, be yourself. The fraying and holes in my cloths are not something I'm ashamed of, they are the scars of  hard work.
Some of my jeans are like the jeans TV folks pay hundreds of dollars for, except the holes in my jeans are earned. I call it Hay Knee, from kicking hay bales up on the pile.

I'm proud of who I am and I will not insult that pride by trying to be something I'm not.
You want to talk to me, you get me, not some poor soul trying to fit into your world.
I come from my world n I gotta go back to my world.

Though if the Tonight Show gave me a suit to wear I think it would be a good gag to wheel the hanging suit out with me like another guest when I appeared. Then they could interview the suit and me.

I also think it would be a good gag for the Tonight Show host to do a short video of taking me out to buy me cloths and to a tailor for fitting. Then showing the finished product, jeans n a cut up sweatshirt. Hoodie, Hood cut off, sleeves cut to below elbows over another sweatshirt.

My point is this.
Be true to who you are.
If you like yourself, don't try to be something your not in front of others.
If that's not true, you don't like yourself and are not comfortable with who you are then dentures and a funeral suit are not going to fix it.

My hero when I was a child was Gabby Hayes and he still is. Google Him.

By the way, my Tonight Show appearance was a big success. 
I had no idea who the host was but who cares, it was fun.

What's the secret to your success?
You just keep grinding away at it every day, having faith that you will get there way past where most people would just give up. It takes a massive amount of determination.

At least that's the way it happened in my head. OOOH! Craft time, gotta go.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Monday, December 26, 2016

Who Writes This Shit? #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Gun on the table, "You're gonna rewrite this shit".
That's the pic n caption.
If I had the budget. 
My dreams are B shorts at best.

Due to budgetery restrictions all I can afford is this pic of Gabby Hayes King of Sidekicks #pezoutlaw #hollywoo..

How do you fit dreams into reality?
You try to describe them n come off as a nitwit.
My dogs listen, but real people merely indulge.

The problem with fitting dreams into reality are many.
For one it would appear that my mind will change architecture to fit the story.
Need a car to drive through a house, well jettison basements n foundations.

Of course once awake you find it troubling that the neighbors basement was omitted.
Let alone that your dream had them living west of you when in reality they live east.
Oh yeah n the neighbor was 20 years younger.
Seriously, Who Writes This Shit?

Next thing is people keep changing in my dreams.
After the car drove through the neighbors house a tall guy with short hair was standing there.
Wait just a damn minute, dream or not I'm putting my foot down.
This dream needs a rewrite.

In my dream I did just that, I called shenanigans.
The driver had long curly brown hair.
Where's that guy n who's in charge of continuity in this dream.

Immediately I told the tall guy with short hair to step over there.
My instincts in the dream were to call Kathy n tell her to bring Billy Dog.
Problem, even in the dream I knew I don't carry a phone, Time for the squiggle in the palm of my hand to the neighbor. (a gesture meant to tell someone to call someone)

Billy n I were gonna hunt down the person with long curly brown hair.
Surely they couldna got far n Billy was just the dog for the job.
Billy doesn't get a lot of respect for talents I see, But me I believe in me I believe in Billy Dog n we were goin huntin. 

So what, she ate a can of catfood again. 
It was worth it, Billy Dog says she'll do the time.
When young I also thought some things were worth the punishment.

That's when I woke up.
The dream had to many inconsistencies, my head was about to explode.
That's the problem with vivid just one more dream before I wake scenarios.   

Look I don't write this shit, I only report the dreams. 

For the record I also fly in my dreams, usually only 10 to 20 feet up.
Once though I shot like a bat outa hell into space.
That one was weird.

Also, if a dream bothers me, my character in every dream knows he can exit at will by just closing his eyes really tight.

Well, that's that.
See you all at nightfall.

My Hat's not Silly, It's Science.

After Pez Outlaw I intend to retire.
Demigod in a Straight Jacket


Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Next Stop Hollywood #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

There is no doubt in my mind that Pez Outlaw will become a Hollywood Movie.
How in the hell can you be so certain of that?
One, I have to believe that or it can't possibly come true.
Two, I can see it as if it were already true, that's always a good sign.
Three, I look at what movies are being made about n it tells me that a really good story like Pez Outlaw is a no brainer.

Little fly in the ointment though.
I went out to vote in Michigan's primary this morning, yes I voted for Donald Trump just to stick it to the man. 
I'm beginning to think that I should not be allowed to vote this year, because I'm just to angry.
The question seems to be, Are you willing to roll the dice on Trump? Yes I am.

18 trillion in debt. Personally I think Trump would do better. 
A study in contrast, I also like Bernie Sanders. 

Anti Establishment, Much? 
After a large corporation like Pez destroyed what I'd worked my entire life to achieve, Pez Outlaw seems to have a problem with the rich n powerful that want to decide our lives.
I suppose Pez Outlaw brings my life full circle, back to my anti establishment roots.

Another conversation though.
This conversation is about the act of leaving the farm n entering even that much of the real world.

I'm not sure it went well.
There I am just standing there doing prep to vote.
I feel Kathy yanking on my arm, you gotta get in line.
"Set crazy aside, You gotta do things the way real people do them."
OOp's, sorta missed it.
Can't just meander about like home.

Social cues, proper interaction with humans etc.
Banging around here on the farm headin in whatever direction the moment takes me is not good training for the real world.
I might need a minder if Pez Outlaw becomes a movie.
Then again peculiar behavior might be just what the doctor ordered.

My brief interaction with a small scale real world experience was illuminating.
I'm not concerned for me but I might be a little for them.
Hopefully there take so far is of a peculiar fellow, you know best if we're all playing from the same script.
You see I'm not sure how it's currently being written, I only get very brief reports.

It's been a while, I really wouldn't mind an update.
What's my line CB.

This whole post n thing that got retweeted n like is Voted for Trump today to stick it to the man?

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary



Saturday, December 24, 2016

Giddy Up Tech #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Us old folks need a line of product called Giddy Up Tech.
I just spent 4 hours on updates to my computer.
Short Response, Microsoft I do not care, please stop it.
Do we really need every little genius idea these children come up with on our computers.
I blame the participation trophy generation that made these kids think every annoying idea they have is essential to us.

Long version.
Seriously Microsoft I can't begin to tell you how annoying all your updates are.
Beyond that once updated to windows 10 my computer wanted to bore me with how wonderful it is now.
Honestly, computer just shut up n let me get on with my stuff because I'm so not interested.
Then my computer wanted me to choose apps for?
Again, not interested, please get off my screen.
Oh yeah then of course I had to update Norton, YEAH!

I really have to tell you my emotion is, I HATE COMPUTERS.

My computer is forever wanting me to choose, add, update, pick.
The degree to which I'm not interested, just can not be measured.

You know that phone for old folks on TV with big numbers n simplicity of use.
I think it's called the Giddy Up or something.
I/we old people need a computer that works like that.
Big numbers, leaves us alone n just let's us do the few simple things we want to do.

I just bought a new thermometer with giant numbers, love that thing.

Damn, getting a popup, pick an app, What The Hell.
No idea what it's even asking?
I know the kids love apps but I have no idea n certainly don't use them.
Please go away.

I have never bought or used an app n I never will.
Reason, no idea what an app is or how to use one.
Reason 2, I don't want to know what an app is n no desire to use one. 
app to me is some made up thing to distract children from reality.
I don't need an app for distraction.
I'm Old, I got that covered.

While we're at it.
Would someone please make a simple TV.
I swear I'm afraid to do anything because if I do, I have no idea if I'll ever make it back.
So Josh gives me a thumb drive with a movie, umm yeah but????

Anyway, I have very simple needs, please tailor a TV, a computer Hell even a radio I can actually use.
God, I miss knobs. 
Click n your done.
Don't have to give your life story just to use it.

Tech designers you do know us old fogies are getting to be the biggest segment of the population?
Maybe products we find easier to use?

Ebay, for the record you are no better.
The number of messages I get from you on stupid stupid subjects of no relevance or interest to me is absurd. 
Simplicity Boys n Girls. Not interested in all the Fru Fru n Do Da.
Yeah Yeah your wonderful ebay but all the Lookie Lookie n backslapping.
Man I'd think by now you'd have laryngitis n an awfully sore arm.

Us old folks need a line of product called Giddy Up Tech.
Computers, telephones, TV's, Radios, microwaves, kitchen ranges, washers dryers etc that we actually understand and can use.
The last thing older people want is integrated appliances or remotes that do everything.
If I want something on, I turn it on.
If I want to set a thermostat up or down, I do it.

This interdependence on tech is a real doomsday scenario.
Everybody is unlearning how to do everything.
Power goes n nothing works.
Forget it if there's an EM Pulse.

Don't get me started on tech dependent cars, there's a catastrophe waiting to happen.
You know that billion we were all talking about.
Start a car company that removes every single bit of tech from a car. Everything.
Basically I'd make 1945 to 1955 Ford trucks.
If you know what happens, they'd be the only things driving around, that n horses.
That n a 1945 to 1955 Ford truck, you can actually fix one yourself.

Giddy Up Tech, That's the ticket.

Security Gizmo

Billy Dog n Po, security gizmo's. 
Wait a dog gone minute, I should name my next dog Security Gizmo.

Have you seen the commercial for what seems to be putting a phone in place of your doorbell.
The idea is, badguy rings your bell/phone, you act like you're home n he goes away.

First, badguys see commercials too.
It's kinda obvious to me that badguys know what these doorbell/phones look like.

My guess is what your not going to hear are the following 2 results.
These doorbell/phones are going to get stolen at a high rate.
2. Accidental home invasions with people home will increase because badguys will see the gizmo n think nobody is home.

This is my solution.
My Security Gizmo #1
My Security Gizmo #2
You come to my door n if the barking does not send you packing.
Billy Dog looking at you through the window in the door will.

You come to my door n Billy Dog is looking right at you saying she is home.
I don't need a doorbell/phone to pretend I'm home. because I am home.

Billy Dog is not afraid of anything?????
Except little puddy baby dachshund under the covers in bed.
It freaks her out.

Basically it's this.
If there selling it on TV, it's too late.
Badguys watch TV Too.
Get a BIG DOG.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Friday, December 23, 2016

Happiness - Revised #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw


My vision of happiness. 
Turn off the computer for at least 6 months.
Get 30 semi truck loads of bankrun (gravel n dirt) then spend 3 months moving it into places on the farm with the tractor.

Then get some building material to build 3 more horse sheds n spend another 3 months doing that. 

That's my idea of retirement/vacation.


Say Hollywood were to make a Pez Outlaw Movie?
Would that make me Happy or solve my problems?

First, I want this and it would be an honor if a movie was made about Pez Outlaw.
After all I've been working over a decade in hopes of a Pez Outlaw movie.

But would a Pez Outlaw movie solve all my problems?
You might be shocked to learn that my takehome after taxes, agents ect would be approx $35,000.00.
My debt to the bank from my losses at the hands of Pez Corp are approx $185,000.00.
Well that didn't work.

I would though derive a great deal of satisfaction from the recognition of the Pez Outlaw story that a movie would validate.
If the Pez Outlaw Movie was made a book deal would be almost automatic.
My guess is that my take home from a book deal would also be approx $35,000.00.
Don't ask me why I know this, OK I saw it on TV, so it must be true.

$185,000.00 - $35,000 - $35,000 = $115,000
Still $115,000.00 in the hole.
I mean great strides in the right direction but still not a 100% win.

That's why I hope if that all happens that someone might want to publish Pez Outlaw Diary in paperback as a companion piece to the Big Book.
I also hope that while the iron is hot I might get a compilation of the best posts from Notes From The Asylum by Pez Outlaw published. 

I further hope that after all those things were in motion or reality that Pez Corp might think reparations for there actions in 1998 might be a good PR move.

The big question though is this.
After over a decades work toward this very goal, Would I be Happy?
I believe I would in this regard.
I've been very clear since the beginning of this journey what the goals were.
I believe that I'd be willing at that point to find closure.

Unnamed Others have thought they knew what people of my station in life would consider "everything you dreamed of".
You really can't blame them in this age of reality star fame, for thinking a few moments of fame was the dream.
No, I've already had a version of that, so not so much.
As I said, I've known what my true goals are from the beginning n fame of any type is not even on the list.

Raising awareness of the Pez Outlaw story is and what might be accomplished by the name ID of Pez Outlaw are.

So will, would all of this make me happy?

I'm not sure I'd fell any different than I do now.
You see mentally, I'm already in a better place, that much has already been accomplished by the work I've done on Pez Outlaw Diary and Notes From The Asylum.

What would be different is a sense of accomplishment and closure.
Add to that a feeling of vindication and I don't mean over Pez Corporation.
No vindication in my belief that I could do it.
That when I was down to zero $$$$.
I realized I could work with that, that I still had my mind as a resource I could tap.

You see in the beginning nobody believed I could do this, nobody.
Nobody except me, I believed I could.
I had faith in myself n the drive to continue for 15 years.
That takes a lot of dedication to something when no one else thinks you are sane for even trying.

So yes vindication is the correct word, just not in the sense or concerning who, that you might think.
In myself and my belief in myself.

Kathy supported me, but I'm not sure even she believed I could do it.
Though our life's experiences have shown her that with her support interesting things happen.

I think it will be interesting to watch the reaction to everything as it plays out.
There will be those who think, lucky him.
Without any understanding of the 15 years of work it took to get here.

Be forewarned. 
Do not ask me for money, because I don't n won't have any.
The bank is gonna get every penny.
Your sob story won't match my reality of the last 15 years n I will have no time for it.
That includes sob stories about diseases, we've got our own. 
People that contact me expecting??? saying that they have this disease or that really piss me off.
We are dealing with one of our own n we have never used it to try n gain sympathy.
Never ask me about it, it's off limits for any conversation anywhere.

Don't try to hitch a ride.
Put in your own time on your own deal n earn your own reward.

Other than facebook friends which I do like.
Don't try to be my friend (except on facebook).
I have all the friends I want (except on facebook).

You wanna know the truth.
June 21, 2016 I will be 65 years old.
I just want to retire n no longer need to worry about owing the bank $185,000.00 for PEZ.

So Happiness.
I want to play in dirt with my tractor like when I was a child n have people think n say, Man he works hard.

One additional thought.
On behalf of all of us nobodies out here.
Big corporations, Big Banks n Wall Street all got bailouts while we the nobodies lost our homes.
Isn't it about time one of us beat a Big Corporation by just telling what happened.
Out of all this you'd think Karma would allow at least one nobody a win.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Doin the TP shuffle #pezoutlaw #hollywood

My Bull Mastiff Proby has a thing for TP.
Po likes to unroll the TP into the living room from it's hanger in the bathroom then chew on the end.
Po has no idea what the word NO means.
Love Po to much to explain it to her.
In short my dog TP's our house.

On the other end of the TP scale.
Certain parties are becoming difficult to communicate with.
Sign the papers, Then????????????

I know, I Know people are busy in there world with there own projects.
Though it does make you feel a bit like TP on the holder in the bathroom.
Waiting n waiting for that moment when you are called into service.

I imagine that TP welcomes the attention Proby gives it.
Think about it, the only time TP gets to leave the bathroom is when Proby has a playdate with it.
So I'm guessing TP welcomes Probies idea of fun, anything to get out of the bathroom.

I signed the papers last August.
Since then word has gotten thin.
So I'll just hang out like TP next to the toilet, waiting for Proby n some excitement.

Point being, nuggets of news would be nice.
It seems like all I do is wait.
You've been involved say a year n a half, Not long in your world.

I've been at this over 15 years.
It's like i'm 15yrs into a prison stretch of unknown length.
Any news would be welcome. 

Not going rouge on ya, just going nuts.
Here's the thing though.
I was 40 when I started the Pez Outlaw thing.
I was 50 when the Pez Outlaw thing blew up.
I will be 65 next month.
Time is going by at an alarming pace n time is running out for me. 

OK, maybe going a teensie tiney bit rouge. 
I'm just feeling like TP. 

I'll bite, How bored are you?
Approx 229 posts in Notes From The Asylum in less than a years worth of bored.
Pickin at scabs in my brain Bored. 

For Christ Sakes a post about Toilet Paper Bored.
With a picture of Toilet Paper Bored.
Even if it is a good Post about Toilet Paper. 

Close but not quite pulling your hair out bored.
Truth is it would be thin grabbin.
Walkin around alone sayin knyuck, knyuck, knyuck bored. 

Who's in charge of this whorehouse bored. 
Look I don't mind bein poor.
I just don't like being in debt n poor. 

Just Sayin.
n you know, share the wealth bored. 
Slippage is a Bitch.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

My Goals Within 1yr of Fame #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I have reasons for believing that certain things that are only maybe, will happen.
One of those reasons is in high visibility at the moment.
If you unpack this thing as evidence, you see a logical progression.

My Goals Within 1yr of Fame.

1. convince whoever publishes Jeff Maysh n my book Pez Outlaw that a really cool marketing idea would be to make a cleaned up paperback version of Pez Outlaw Diary a companion piece to the hardcover Book. Besides being a cool marketing ploy the publisher gets as a package deal, I think readers of the hardcover Pez Outlaw book would enjoy reading the raw source material that gave birth to the hardcover. It's sorta like liner notes on an lp/cd or the inside look footage that you get with DVD's.

2. With the help of the firm that represents me, My agents.
Find a publisher for the Cereal Box Price Guide.
I'd publish the cereal book as is but my preference is to bring in a coauthor D.G.
Get D.G. to take over further Editions of the Cereal Box Price Guide, updates n the addition of further content. With a 50/50 on 2nd 3rd etc editions.

3.With the help of the firm that represents me, My agents.
Find a children's book publisher for Puddy n The Golden Bowl.

4. On the low hanging fruit scale. With the help of the firm that represents me, My agents.
Get whatever deal is possible for The Barrel Book as a Horse Farm self help book.

5. Help Pez Corporation find a better ending for the Pez Outlaw story.

All of this would need to be accomplished in one year.
I really have no use for the fame/spotlight to come, but I will happily use it as a launch point for these 5 goals.

All must be completed within the first year.
I feel it's very important to know what you want before crazy-town comes.
Once what I've been warned about happens, I need to know why I'm here.
With the Pez Adventure I operated on instinct.
That worked fine until it did not.
This time I want to have a plan, goals.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Monday, December 19, 2016

Marijuana #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Just because I can't use Marijuana (recovering drug addict, 45yrs clean) doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself.
Do these things come as a patch?

Did you know?
Use of the words Marijuana n Zombie get big reactions on twitter.
No pun intended.

Odds are very good this will get retweeted just for words Marijuana n Zombi.
OOOH! #marijuana #zombi that oughta clinch it. 
Note to self. Write post called Marijuana Zombi #pezoutlaw #marijuana #zombi

I decide to write this post about Marijuana for 2 reasons. 

1. the Highway a country channel just mentioned how a state that just legalized Marijuana is allowing growers to show this crop at the state fair.

2. I've noticed a block of new followers on twitter who are featuring/promoting Marijuanaon on there twitter home page.
Alien Pod Creatures

This is what the kids are smoking today.
To me it looks like Alien Pod Creature.
My how the world has changed.

In the 1960s I was what is termed now a PotHead.
We never saw the stuff I pictured above.
We smoked glorified Ditch Weed. 
The Marijuana I pictured scares the hell out of me.
I think the kids call them Buds.
Hell back then nobody waited for a plant to bud, to impatient.
It was all stems, leaves n seeds, seeds which by the way constantly made the joint explode like a trick cigar.

No folks what we were smoking in the 1960s was ditch weed, with the potency by today's standards of 3/2 beer.
I gotta tell ya, even though it's legal now, you'd never catch me smoking it.
Today's Marijuana is just to strong for my brain's ability to handle such things.
In the 1960s we called it Flipping Out, n it happened to me approx a half dozen times on various chemicals.
No way I'm going anywhere near those Alien Pod Creatures that they call Marijuana today.

Now if somebody made a legal 3/2 version in patch form????????????
At my age who would care or even notice. 

Lobbying for the Marijuana VOTE? 
My looks must make people think I smoke dope.
What I write n how I write probably also make people think that I must be on drugs.
Sorry to crash illusions but I can't smoke or do drugs, clinging to reality as it is.

Though I will admit that my mind n the way I think was altered by my youthful use of drugs.
Perceptions, approach to reality n thought.
LSD, Peyote, Speed, Heroine n Marijuana, bad trips n all are contributors to who I am now. 

Of course I look at things differently than most folks but that's not all due to drugs.
I looked at thing different than my brothers before drugs.
Isms etc. 

Me, I like myself.
I if nobody else enjoy my point of view. 
I had a couple of bad decades, but they are behind me now. 

I'm not afraid of nor do I feel any need to hide who I am. 
You can not be held hostage by public knowledge.
Which is why I ban private messaging.
Got somethin to say, do it in public or don't do it at all.

Totally different.
"Your friend informed me that you are living close to me"
No I'm not n I'm to old to care.
So you know, GO FISH.

I got nothing.
I am feeling hungry though.
Does that count.

Marijuana Zombie

This post is meant to be an attempt at a clever ploy to get retweets.
Did you know?
Use of the words Marijuana n Zombie get big reactions on twitter.
No pun intended.

Odds are very good this will get retweeted just for words Marijuana n Zombi.
OOOH! #marijuana #zombi that oughta clinch it. 
Note to self. Write post called Marijuana Zombi #pezoutlaw #marijuana #zombi

N voila, here we are.

Like Red Skelton used to say, I doed it! 

No I don't n have not used Marijuana in 45 years.
I'm to old n my brain just could not handle it.
Drinking, Marijuana, LSD, Peyote, Heroin n Crystal Meth from 14 to 19 years old took decades to recover from.
No way I'm gonna make that mistake again. 
The strongest drug I use now is 2 Tylenol. 

I just got a message on facebook.
Alida McDaniel is live now
I wonder if people would want to watch or QnA Pezoutlaw on facebook?

I think that the "Stankface" commercial on TV is hilarious.
I had it stuck in my head like an earworm the other day.

The purpose n train of thought is different every day.

For the life of me I do not understand or know how to use instagram.
Seems like you just get a handle on one thing n they invent a new thing to confuse the hell outa you. 


Trick question. Which one of these dispensers was released by Pez USA?

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, December 18, 2016

"There but for the grace of God go I" #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

My thoughts and my prayers go out to all the victims in the California shooting.

Yesterdays headline in The Daily News was "God isn't Fixing this".
Did I miss something, was that ever really the question.

Today The NY Daily News attacked guns and the NRA.
Again anything but the obvious. 

We are not only failing to understand what the real problem is, our response to it is showing weakness to our enemy.
Point of fact. Some of the strongest restrictions on gun ownership are in Europe. one word, Paris.
Leave it to the knuckleheads to believe we have the memory of Fruit Flies.

Understandably people are scared.
Gun sales are expected to go up.

At the core of America and that thing that defines us has always been the American Spirit. 
A can do, get her done way of thinking.

But we are now being turned into scared people.
I understand that people are afraid of a terrorist attack. 
I sympathize, but you are avoiding a reality of life.
1. You are going to die, make peace with the fact.
2. To me every moment of life abounds with the threat of death; drowning, electrocution, car accident, tornado, lightning strike, cancer, MS, Parkinson, Alzheimer, falling, stroke, heart attack, etc.

Point being that the list of things trying to kill you is pretty endless. 
So die ing is not really the issue, it's inevitable.
To fear being killed by a terrorist is kinda potato patatoe.

The thing people need to concentrate on is not the inevitability of death, it's living your life well.
treat others with as much love as you can.

To get all wound up about terrorists is to play the other guys game.
Like I've said Zombies need Killin, but that should not take over your life.

You are going to die, the more important thing is to have lived a life worth living.
Keep faith with the miracle of life, by not wasting it.

"God isn't Fixing this"Question, Have you actually tried? 

I find it kinda ironic that talk of faith and God I bet you makes people as uneasy as talk of terrorists. Maybe that is the real problem.

But hey what do I know, I'm just an inmate here in the Asylum.
Live Life, The rest will take care of itself, It always has. 
Take care of the things you can actually do something about.
The Knuckleheads in Washington have to get it right sooner or later.
The law of averages says they've got to make a few good decisions sooner or later. 

From An Asylum Inmate

What do I know, I'm just an inmate here in the Asylum passing notes to the outside world. 

I ended a previous post with this tag line, then I thought. Seriously worth thinking about.

I spout off about a lot of stuff but why in Gods name should anyone listen?
Or is that even the point? 
Isn't the point really to look inward in an effort to understand.
Most people though do not share naval gazing with the entire world.

I've chosen to share in public because I do not fear judgement.

I would have to care what people think of me to fear that.
I'm sure there is a mental illness that defines this behavior, but I'd need to pay attention in class to know which one.
I do not write in a quest for fame or admiration, I write because I enjoy doing it. 
I enjoy the process of sorting through it all. 
If I cared what people might think of me, it probably would inhibit the free flow ow thought.
Thank God I Don't.

I enjoy this process, it helps give me peace of mind.

Pez Outlaw Diary was a Primal scream.
The day I entered the Asylum was the best day of my life.
I could not n never would have made it here without Pez Outlaw Diary.

This is as good a time as any to ask you to think about something.
There have been 12 deaths due to selfie's vs 8 deaths from shark attacks this year so far.
Kinda makes you wonder. Whose really the crazy one?

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Saturday, December 17, 2016

I believe this with all my heart. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

The biggest mistake a TV show or a movie can make is if the audience does not care about or like the main character.

When Irving Thalberge resurrected the movie careers of The Marx Brothers.
He very pointedly had Harpo beat up by the bad guy in the first scene so that you would have sympathy for Harpo straight out of the gate.

I can't tell you the number of TV shows I've just stopped watching, sometimes mid episode when it dawns on me. I just don't care about these people and in some cases, I do not even like the characters.

That's why I've always tried to be open and honest about the character Pez Outlaw.
In the last year I've also tried to remove some of the anger I've felt in the past over what Pez Corporation did.
What I instead am now trying to emphasize is the struggle. 
How from very modest average beginnings, Pez Outlaw was trying to achieve the American dream for his family and still is.
Choosing now to view the initial defeat of Pez Outlaw in 1998 as a new beginning and origin point for the character.
I've tried to emphasize the unbeatable spirit of Pez Outlaw. How after a defeat that would lay most men down for the count. Pez Outlaw got up Dusted himself off n fought with everything that remained, which was not much.
Pez Outlaw fought back for over a decade in obscurity, with no outside support. The only person that thought what Pez Outlaw was doing wasn't crazy and a waste of time was him.
Even still Pez outlaw continued.

I believe all of this with all my heart.

every day i face the blank page. some days are easier than others.

Proby n Billy Dog are getting really anxious. gotta go. 

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Friday, December 16, 2016

1% My ASS! #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Last night Josh n I were talking to Laurie. Josh said, Back when we had money.
Indicating a time before our personal financial crash.
Ours happened back in 1998 when Pez Corporation targeted My Company.
By the end of 2001 I had lost almost everything I worked my entire life for.
That was roughly 2002.

In 2008 the rest of the country caught up with me.
A bit later the whole 1% thing started about the evil rich.
I've been fighting the actions of an international Corporation "PEZ" that targeted my company now for 15 years.

I had to laugh when the whole 1% thing started. Where were you guys a decade ago when Pez Corporation destroyed my life.
Here you are the fighters against the 1%, abstractly railing against general perceived injustice.
When at that very moment I had been fighting, for a decade the very thing you claimed to be against.
My numbers nor did my struggle receive any support from this bogus 1% group.

My cause of how Pez Corporation destroyed my little company was tailor made for this 1% cause.
God forbid this bunch of 1% fighters actually rally behind a real case of injustice, no better to just chant in general than actually support or help the real thing.

There are those who think Pez Outlaw Diary was very close to Blackmail against Pez Corporation.
Blackmail is secretly telling someone. If you don't give me X, I will reveal the following.
Pez Outlaw Diary is and has always been an open telling of what happened, out front. 
Pez Corporation, Wanna rewrite the ending, that's your choice.

Do you think for one minute as much as Pez Corporation hates me that if Pez Outlaw Diary could legally be defined as Blackmail that Pez Corp would not have taken legal action.

My Goal is to write the true history of what was done by Pez Corporation to my company. I may never get any other form of restitution from PEZ Corporation, but I will correct the record. What Pez Corporation did to my company was premeditated, targeted, deliberate and malice was there intent.

But protesters of the 1%, don't make me laugh.
Try championing a real cause, get behind Pez Outlaw.
Truth, Justice n the American way.
Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, December 15, 2016

WHO CAN AFFORD THAT SHIT - 24/7/365 #pezoutlaw

The unemployment number came out today. The Political Class say that the unemployment rate is 4.7%, with n I love this part 38,000ish jobs created. The participation rate in the workforce is 62%.

You know what, screw it, we'll talk about that fairy-tale another time.

For today, right now let's talk about vacations.
I have not had or been on a vacation in more than 15 years. People I know, several at that have been on vacations of one sort or another 4 times in the last year.

Wowzers, that sure must be nice.

It seems to me that right now there are two classes of people.

1. People who are always going on long weekends, mini vacations or outright week to 2 week vacations.

2. People who can't even think about any kind of a vacation for years or decades at a time.

Within certain types of businesses n government work, you wonder why it takes forever to get anything done.

Me I don't wonder, why is obvious. They are forever on long weekends or outright vacations.

I have always lived in a world that didn't or does not care. I'm expected to get it done.

Me I work 24/7/365. no breaks n DAMN SURE NO VACATIONS!

Tell ya what. If somebody gave me an all expenses paid 2 week vacation in Hawaii, I'd have to send Kathy n Ri on it. I have just got to many things to do.

The horses n the dogs don't take vacations.
I do though take breaks n this one is now over. Billy Dog just said so.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Prop 9 #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Sometime you don't know where you're goin til you get there. 
Clear in the beginning, then it slips away. 

Life is full of unfulfilled aspiration.
Wishes n Hopes Fulfilled to Disappointment.

Was that the end or a new beginning?
Only Time will reveal the answer.

I've been down this road to many times to count.
The Reaper approaches, soon we'll know.

You grow up wishing for small things.
I want to be 16 so I can Drive.

21 so I can drink.

early on you set goals.
I want to be a lawyer.
I want to be a marine.
I want to get sober.
I want not to be so angry.
I wish my mind would clear.

Then life hands you a miracle.
A magic decade beyond anything you dreamed.
Did I earn it, was every footstep I took leading me there?

Failure, Betrayal, Disappointment n sorrow.
Rebirth, The unlikely happens.
New goals demand new talents.

Was everything that came before leading me here? 
Was this the plan all along?

Use the lessons learned from failure.

No mistakes this time, because I'm running out of it.

My destiny it seems is written.
My hope is the possibility of reality.

Be careful about expectations limiting the possible.
Sometimes the choice reveals itself.
But your mind is not prepared to see it.

Crazy is required.
I play the role.

All things led to this moment.
The lessons were preparation.

Life handed me my story.
Acceptance is all that's left.

Drop to 49% n you lose.
Hold steady at 51% n I might make it.
Slippage can be fatal.

I can't save yesterday.
Hopefully I can catch tomorrow.

Will destiny hear my plea?
Like a keeper of time, I try to write my fate.

If reality is only my imagination.
Will I give my story a happy ending?
Will I allow it?

Broken Mind Productions.

As if life wasn't complicated enough.
Vote NO, if you support Proposition #9.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Know Your Job, Do Your Job. Nothing Is More Important. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Billy Dog story/post.

Billy Dog has turned the corner. She still knows what fun is but she is starting to understand her role here on the farm.

You do not have to teach a good dog how to be a good watch dog. A good dog just becomes aware of the responsibility.

Billy Dog has started taking an interest in the motion of her environment, that it must turn in a proper n expected manner.

Billy Dog is now stepping back a bit from being in the center of anything that's going on. Starting to prefer to observe.
Cars that go by in front of the house are now watched.
People are now watched. A good dog must be a bit reserved by choice.
She is beginning to have opinions, she does not approve of gunfire. It happens around here.

The other night the dogs were upset, so somebody had to go out n check. Since Rudy passed I've had to do this alone cause pink would run once nobody was found n proby is an in close fighter.
This time though ole Bill said yes let's do this. She moved slowly n methodically all around cars etc. I'm Very proud, Very proud. Rudy n Cheeka would aprove n they were the mark.

It's been a long road but my little Billy Dog is home now n balance has been restored to our universe.
As always now it's time to start thinking about training the next one.

Thinking, thinking, I'm not ready yet.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, December 12, 2016

On Behalf of Ground Pounders #horse #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I wanna say something stupid.
Did you you know that horse personalities are very different?

I'm a ground pounder, I do not ride horses.
I feed, water and deal with horse poop.
Currently that number of horses is 17.
Of that 17 only 6 are Kathy's, the rest just stay with us.
I treat all 17 like they are my baby's.
Who we are to each other has nothing to do with who there Mom is.

I don't know the first thing about riding a horse.
You lose me when you start putting gear on them so you can ride.
When I did ride, I rode bareback using a single lead rope attached to the halter.

Believe it or not I was a pretty good rider, but not remotely by any conventional standards.
I could wander around under my horse, do the running jump mount from behind, stand on my horse, jump ditches whatever.
Within my weird parameters I could train a horse pretty good, but I did not start understanding or talking to horses until I became a ground pounder.

I divide horse life into 2 categories and one can have nothing to do with the other.
Pasture life - how a horse behaves and interacts with other horses in the pasture.
A full n rich pasture life is essential to the well being of a horse mentally. 
Although attention must be paid to personalities that click best when forming each pastures community. We had to split up Bow n Honey, they had a toxic relationship for bow and to the rest of the Wild Bunch. Honey now lives with Busta. Busta is a surfer dude, she just can't rattle him. Basically he ignores her. Honey is not mean, she is though very strong willed.

Arena life - how a horse interacts with a human when it's time to work.
Peta - We humans bust ass caring for horses, so to expect that they work in exchange is not wrong, It's fare trade. Or in simpler terms, Shut your ignorant asses up. You really don't know shit from shinola.

Honey Bee. Honey is a real force of nature in pasture life. She can be a Bitch on Wheels. BUT, you put a halter on Honey n cross out of pasture life n she is the most dependable horse you will ever meet. The strength n confidence of her pasture life carries over into arena life but only in positive ways. Honey understands the difference and what her job is.

Cowboy/Smokey Boy, Johnny, Bow and this new guy Red are hoses with the most pure gentle souls you will ever meet. These horses are very rare.  I have 4 of them out of the 17 that currently reside here.

Some horses are Angry, some are scared, then some are confused.
All of these conditions come from humans who previously interacted with them.

My job as a ground pounder is to be that steady human in there life that talks to them, feeds them and becomes someone that they understand.

The horse I'm proudest of at the moment is Roz. Roz came here confused n scared. It has taken 3 years of steady Eddy to turn her around. Now Roz comes full tilt if I call her n she yells at me if I'm running late. Roz kinda has a lot to say nowadays. Roz went from scared n spooky to a chatter box, only took 3 years.

So far I've had 2 horses that were here for one reason or another ask me. Can I stay here, I don't want to leave. Johnny n Red. I can't say no when they ask.

It's like when I met Pinky n Billy Dog, both asked very clearly if they could put there previous life behind them and live here. My answer will always be yes, but you must do your job. The ones that pointedly ask Horse or Dog are more than happy to do there job.

Yes I talk to Animals, but that's only possible because I listen.
Dogs and Horses can learn to understand you, I'm just saying rarely do humans make an effort to understand them.
No trick, you just have to listen. 

The eyes and how they handle there head tell you a lot. Also micro expressions. 
You have to listen with your eyes as well as your ears.
A lot is instinct. You see it n you just know.

With Cowboy/Smokey Boy, Johnny, Bow, n the new guy Red, there eyes are rich dark pools of nothing but gentle love. All will place there muzzle in your hands with peace, no jerks or fear. Just trust. Very rare, you have to be a real idiot not to be able to work with that. 

You might not know which horses I'm talking about were you ever to come here, because I have my own names for over half the horse's.
examples; Paco, Boy, Big Guy, Dub, Johnny, Old Man, Roz, B, Wheezer.

Gotta go, time for steady Eddy to do his job.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Gettin Chased By The Poop Stick! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

 We all poop, so I should be able to talk about this. 

Don't Get The Wrong End Of The Stick!

You do know where the term "the Wrong End Of The Stick" comes from. 

In the old days when a lot of people had n used outhouses for going potty.

The deposits would form a pointy hill kinda tall.

You would use a stick to knock it down to even/level.

Chase your brother with that stick n Hey Buddy, Don't Get The wrong End Of The Stick.

Was there ever an incident where one of your brothers was chased by the other with one form of poo or another on the end of a stick? 

"Yeah sure one of my brothers?" Why not.

Didn't everybody?

Were there outhouses in my neighborhood when I was a child?
Ever use them?
Of course, then n as recently as yesterday.
After all, this round here is Redneck Country. 

The Other End Of The Stick

I can't seem to get on the right end of the stick on this one.
Seems like I'm expected to hustle cooperate n expedite everything.
I agree because even if I objected it would come to no good outcome.
So I agree then as asked I expidite.
After a problem occurs I hustle to provide info, then I expedite as requested.

Then I wait, wait n wait some more.
My end of the stick seems to be of zero importance.
It is not expedited. I can wait. I guess I'm just not priority.

A statement of fact, not a pity party.
You say what's on your mind.
I'm sure they must have been real busy n they will get to it as fast as they can.
I had a dog named Rudy. Rudy remembered everything n it affected her future relationship with you.
No Big but it does, doesn't it.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Officially Redneck #pezoutlaw

I took the test, Yes I am officially a Redneck.

What you say, You didn't realize America was being tested to figure this out.
Yeah sure but maybe not a test as much as being defined in media n by politicians etc.

It's OK, It's OK, we've got thick skins n we sure have been called worse.

We are that inscrutable class of people here in America, getting by n making it work.
Our recycling is reuse or re-purposing.
We used to be defined by our love n use of Ducktape.
Catch up folks, just like the kids we've move on, it's zipties now.
A close second is Ducktape.

We are hard pressed to find a political party to affiliate with because even if one appealed to us they both are real busy mean mouthing us.

Mostly though, the thing that we have in common is, we just want to be left alone, by everybody.

It could be worse, I could be a Commie Pinko.

The official Redneck symbol should be a wrench ziptied to a roll of Ducktape.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, December 8, 2016

FoFdyp #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

FoFdyp - Fear of Failure Destroys Your Potential 

My process is to think out loud, share almost all ideas, then allow a public sifting n sorting to eliminate bad ones n elevate good ones.

Kathy n my friend Larry hear me out then ignore or in the case of Larry just say, NO.

I understand that most of what I think is garbage, but I also understand that my way of thinking also creates some very unique ideas. Rare but worth the wait n impossible if I did not allow my ideas to just flow.

If you allow your mind to be paralyzed with a fear of failure or ridicule, you will never achieve thoughts or creations that are separate from the pack.

It does help that I honestly don't give a tinkers damn what anybody else thinks of me.
Now if I can only instill this in my grandchildren.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

I will never buy another Cub Cadet anything #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Lawn mowing will soon be here n thanks to my 6yr old Cub Cadet's death, I don't have a mower.

Cub Cadet Garden Tractor
Services will be held Tuesday.

If you want to learn how to fix Garden Tractors, Cub Cadet is your brand.
If you want to mow your yard anything but Cub Cadet is your brand.
I have spent near as much time fixin my Cub Cadet as mowing grass. 

My Cub Cadet had a 5 year mowing life, repairs as follows.
3 V-TYPE Hydro BELT, that's a fun one to put on
over 1/2 dozen deck drive belts for mower.
new battery
ignition replacement
12 spindle assemblies for blades
the final straw is the Hydrostic drive went out, translation- The Trany Blew Out.

Cub Cadet Lawn Tractors are like a piggy bank, you just keep putting money into them.
Unfortunately like Greek Bonds, you can just kiss that money Bye Bye.

Cub Cadet Nightmare

What if a manufacturer had a total recall on there product n nobody bothered to inform you?
Well I'll tell you what happens, 5 years after you payed approx $2,600.00 for your Cub Cadet Lawn Tractor the rear end just dies.

March 13, 2012. Cub Cadet Recall.

Cub Cadet recalled this lawn tractor because of defects in the Hydrostatic Transaxle, coincidentally 5yrs later mine dies.

Sold at Lawn and Garden retailers nationwide from January 2011 through January 2012 for
about $1900 - $2800.
Mine has a production date of 3-2011.
My SLTX 1054 was in the recall. 

Nobody contacted or informed me of this products defects in any way shape or form.
I only became aware of this recall while researching my most recent nightmare with the Cub Cadet lawn tractor.

Repairing this broken rear end or Hydro-Transaxle would cost me between $900 n $1,200.00. 
1k is the breaking point on this Cub Cadet, To be frank it's just not worth another $1,000.

This year alone I've already spent approx $800.00 on other repairs.
Add to that that about every other year I've had to replace all 3 Spindle assy mounts on mower deck at approx $38.00 each.

Five years is all that this Cub Cadet lasted before it died.
I paid approx $2,600.00 for this Cub Cadet SLTX 1054.
I've got another $1000.00 in repairing this Cub Cadet.

Before I owned this Cub Cadet I had a Scott Lawn Tractor that kept mowing for over 10 years with little to no repairs.

Cub Cadet Lawn Tractors have to be the worst garden tractors I've ever seen or owned. 
So what do you do if they hold a product recall n nobody tells you?
5yrs later when the Cub Cadet dies, you write a scathing review, because it's to late to do anything else.

If a movie is made of the Pez Outlaw story n I get the platform, Cub Cadet I will be mentioning how awful my experience with your product was.
Like Old Rudy, Pez Outlaw is a Bull Mastiff n we grudge real good.

The Walking Dead, EL DIABLO

There is an argument to be made that people walking behind a push Lawn Mower are the real Walking Dead, but that's a whole nother post.
Stay on topic, would you please.

The most miserable of the walking dead is my Cub Cadet lawn tractor, EL DIABLO.
For me if I can not love something as it is, it must become something else to gain my affection.
I do not love My Cub Cadet, so it became my worthy Nemesis.

It feels like I've spent as much time fixing that Cub Cadet as actually using it to mow the yard.
I would, put that Bastard in the ground, if I could afford to.
Lighten up folks, I'm using Movie bravado talking about my lawn mower.
After all that lawn mower is my Nemesis n what do you do with your Nemesis in a good action Flick.
You put them in the ground.

This time though I beat the Devil at his own game by remaining calm in the face of the unknown.
My father would be proud, he thought that I was not paying attention, but I was.

For me, anything with an engine is my tormentor. They torment n frustrate me to a degree that nothing else in life can. So the prospect of approaching EL DIABLO to repair it was daunting.

Yesterday the drive belt I bought on ebay from mowerpartsgroup  arrived.
First mowerpartsgroup on ebay is a really good place to buy lawn mower parts from.
mowerpartsgroup on ebay have a toll free number which I used to make sure I was about to buy was the correct one, it was not, they steered me to correct one. A big big thank you to mowerpartsgroup on ebay.

Yes I used the telephone, El Diablo made me do it.

OK, that part is done.
The part arrived very quick, you might say just in time.

Against type I approached the project of putting the drive belt on El Diablo calmly n methodically

First I'm not talking about the belt that goes on the mower deck.
Nope I mean the belt that goes from the engine to the rear end.
This is a very difficult job with normal tools n never having done it before.
I spent a lot of time under the mower studying where I assumed the belt went because it came off while mowing in a very spectacular manner.
I studied the pullies, invented a tool from 2 tools. then finished.
I gave myself a 60% chance of success.

Moment of truth, Turn on the ignition n engage drive.
Success, Praise Jesus, I beat EL DIABLO.
I should not have been able to do this.
Honest to god I was in a euphoric state, filled with amazement.
Things like this don't ussually go this well for me.

I'm still gonna paint that Cub Cadet BLACK.

El Diablo, Cub Cadet Devil Mower.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary


Tuesday, December 6, 2016

El Diablo, Cub Cadet Devil Mower.

This was written a year ago n It's just gotten worse since then.
$450.00 to get El Diablo running this year n now $162.00 for a new electric PTO clutch.

I look at my Cub Cadet riding lawn mower, spit on the ground then in a low voice say "El Diablo", followed by spitting on the ground again in disgust.

I swear to God, I think my Cub Cadet riding mower is possessed.
I'm spending as much time repairing my Cub Cadet as I am using it to mow the lawn.

There is one part alone that I've had to replace 3 times.

I have to admit to being kinda peeved at my Cub Cadet. At the tail end of mowing the trails, just quit moving.

I figure it's got to be a pin of some kind that broke, but at this minute I'm just guessing. I need a day or two to cool off before I start fixing it.

I have had more problems with my Cub Cadet than any other mower I have ever owned.

For 2 cents I would put a bullet into its little pointy Cub Cadet engine n put it out of it's misery.
That is if I owned a gun or could actually hold one. I have a phobia about guns.
I'm not anti gun, I just can not hold one.
Which is why I have dogs. An all together different post.

What I am going to do is paint my Cub Cadet Flat Black.
After all El Diablo is the darkness.

Very unhappy with El Diablo.

Life is just way more fun if you have a Nemesis. The bigger the badder your nemesis is, the more life has meaning. El Diablo, Scott McWhinnie.

This is the deal, Posting in Notes From The Asylum is getting things off my chest. Sharing.
Sometimes it's interesting thoughts, sometime I just need to BITCH.

In the previous post El Diablo Strike Again I mentioned how I like to let even a machine like a tractor mower talk to me so I know what to do to repair it.

I have twice laid under a mower for 45 minutes each just staring n touching the mower til it tells me it's story so I can fix it.
In both cases, eventually the mower spoke to me n revealed all.
In one case after the mower thoroughly explained itself to me, I performed a repair that I absolutely should not have been able to do.
In the other, it showed me one thing, a seemingly insignificant thread that lead to the problem and the solution to that problem. Which by the way was the direct opposite of the manual. The manual was wrong.

I've also told you that I talk to animals and that I can hear them talking back to me.

Everything around you speaks to you. The thing is though that you have to be listening.

Animals are easier for me than non animals.
Inanimate objects sometimes take a while to get them to talk.
You have to be patient n coaxes it out of them.

The ground, a building, a tractor or even a barrel that wants to be something else will all speak to you, you just have to listen with all your senses, especially your eyes and your mind.

El Diablo Strikes Again

Within my little circle, 4 people I know own Cub Cadet Garden tractor lawn mowers.

I mentioned to one about the tricky ignition, clicks or does nothing quite often when you turn the key.
The first turn of the key is the golden turn, you really want to get it started on that one, After that it get's shaky.
The problem with the ignition is exacerbated if you try to restart after running the engine for an hour or so.
One friend said, Yes mine does that also.

My point though in this post is a different one.
My son in law owns a Cub Cadet also. He's been having a hell of a time.
His Cub Cadet broke at what I call a flaw point on the mount for one of his blades.
He bought a new blade mount, another flaw not all come with zerts for grease n they are not pregreased. So we had to open it up n hand pack the core for the bearings with grease.
Another thing, his mower is a 2 blade, mine is a 3.
Why in God's name are the blade mounts different, seems like a production simplification flaw.

Again though sadly not my point today. Hold your horse I'm getting there.
Todays post is about the manual that some guys refer to for repair.
Some, not me so much, I prefer to let the mower talk to me.
So anyway my son in law puts the mower back together according to the manual.
He tests it on the yard, yeha it works. Puts it away for the night.
Next day he goes out to mow, nothing like a mow with new blades.
Barely gets started n the mower dies. Well shit, now what.

One week later I go over to see if I can spot something.
He bought a new battery, just in case that was it. nope.
45 minutes later we were about to give up, when I noticed how very tight a wire that goes under the motor was. It's supposed to be loose with extra wire.
The only way for it to be loose again was to turn the assembly under the motor 180 degrees.
Son says nope look there the manual says that the position I have it in is the correct position.
Yup, that sure is what it says. Should be able to trust the manual.

Except for 2 things.
1. This position put that wire tightly up against a turning shaft which after 10 minute running, that shaft wore off the wires plastic covering n shorted out the mower.
2. There were marks on a bar that would make the position 180 degrees different from the manual n give you back the proper position for that wire.

In short the manual was shithead wrong, I mean are you kidding me.
Checked my mower later, yes 180 degrees opposite of his manual.
How many people have wrecked there mowers by following that diagram n had to take there mower in for at least a $200.00 repair.
How many of those people were informed that the Cub Cadet manual was wrong which caused the problem. I'm guessing not many.
That flaw in the manual I bet is a steady stream of revenue to Cub Cadet repair people.

Sorta not a big fan of Cub Cadet.
El Diablo strikes again.

Pez Outlaw Diary