Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Blink #pezoutlaw

Day Turns To Night, Reality Slips Away.
Yesterday was a bit unnerving for me.
My mother's been dead for about 40yrs, yet I expected her to come round the corner at any moment n tell me that it's time to come home.

This detachment from your world started when my watch was telling me it was Friday when I thought it was Thursday. (daylight savings am for pm slip up)
What bothered me the most is that I had no recollection of Thursday, nothing at all.
This error was backed up by the hay count, which also indicated it was Friday.
Add to that, the horses were still in n it was past noon.

My grip on reality is tentative at the best of times, so a lot of questions started running though my mind.
Was I dreaming? My dreams can be pretty vivid n seem quite real at times.
I used my dream escape hatch by closing my eyes real tight n opening them real fast.
Always works, nope I seem to be awake.

My father died from Alzheimer's  so I even thought maybe it was really night n this reality was the confused state that Alzheimer's victims see.

I also believe in parallel multi Universes.
You see I kinda wonder n believe that it's possible that when you die in this Universe that you immediately join with yourself in another parallel Universe to continue.
How else do you explain my survival after so many poor choices in life.

All these things went through my mind one after the other.
Here's the embarrassing thing.
I know right about here you think I'm joking or making an attempt at being clever.
Sorry I'm not that clever or funny, the sad truth is that this was my reality for about an hour.

Slowly reality crept back in, but I swear I expected at any moment my Mom would come round the next corner n say time to come home steven.

Kathy's been gone a few days n my mind gets to wandering when left untended.
Kathy is my tether to this world.

 Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

pocket post #pezoutlaw

There are days I feel like an observer not a participant in my life.

I choose crazy over submission and mediocrity. Being crazy, nuts, wacko ain't the glamorous life it's made out to be. It's actually, exhausting.

It's said that the line between genius and crazy is thin.

As the majority shareholder in my sanity, I'd like to issue the following report to the other shareholders.
Your recent attempts at a hostile takeover have failed.

Reality is a mutually agreed upon construct. To deviate from that compact is to become non-compliant, CRAZY.

There is a Trick To Crazy. Be quirky, eccentric or sympathetic crazy. Do not cross the line to annoying, tiresome, scary or evil crazy. 


This is said to help you understand. If you have 2 socks n one is softer than the other one, which foot does the softer sock go on? The right foot is the correct answer. That this matters is the point, if I do not put the softer sock on my right foot it will bother the hell out of me till I correct it. You are who you are. Don't fight the things others think are crazy, just get them done so you can move on.

How do I explain the price to a mind in desperation.
What appears of unique value had a cost of decades.

The pain is well hidden but should be cherished.
Wisdom is gained through the survival of adversity.

Treat what you are labeled with by others as your tool box.
Your view of this world is unique, a perspective unattainable by others.

Cherish who you are, don't allow others to define you.