Saturday, July 2, 2016

pre2016 British Top Gear #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Lately I've become a fan of the pre2016 British Top Gear, because those guys were seriously nuts. 
Ironic thing is I don't give 2 Hoots in hell about cars, I'm a tractor man.

I watch the show because of Jeremy, James May n Richard Hammond.
These 3 guys are a comedy trio the like of which I haven't seen in a long time. 
These 3 are a British modern version of the 3 stooges but with infinitely better dialog n really great camera work.

If pressed I'd say Jeremy, James May n Richard Hammond are a modern British mashup of the base humor/3 stooges n clever wit and anarchy of the Marx Brothers n Monty Python.
I don't laugh out loud at much on TV anymore but I definitely do when watching pre 2016 British Top Gear.

To be totally honest pre2016 reruns of British Top Gear is all I've been watching each night to relax lately.
I heard that the reason Jeremy, James May n Richard Hammond were replaced is because Jeremy hit a producer.

For Christ sake, Jeremy's go to tool for fixing a car is a small sledge hammer. 
Who didn't see that coming.
But that voice, for the last 12 years his voice has been the voice of the show.
N truth time, Once you've heard Jeremy introduce the Stig, especially how he says "THE STIG" in that booming voice.
Honestly, How do you not wish that's what you were hearing now.

Mitigating facts.
If your a viewer of pre2016 British Top Gear you know that the trio that built the show have done n been placed in some pretty dangerous situations.
James May actually drove a truck up to an active volcano to retrieve a piece of lava.
They have driven on roads where one slip up n they were goners.
They drove in some of the most hellish environments on earth. 
Seriously the REAL Top Gear guys drove around in 2011 Iraq.

I've done some pretty crazy shit in my life; Heroine, Alcoholic n all the crazy travel as Pez Outlaw smuggling.
That said there is not a chance in hell I'd do half the stuff the Real Top Gear guys did, but what a fun time it has been watching them do it n reacting to it.

A person on twitter just told me Richard Hammond almost died in a car crash a few years back.
You get anywhere near that n Matt Lablanc's people would pull him in a red hot second.
N Jeremy punched a producer, both hands palms up weighing the importance of the two.

My point is that the producers put them in some pretty hazardous situations.
To think that at some point Jeremy might not take a swing at one of them is kinda a forgone conclusion.
Shit happens when people get stressed.

Honestly I think the punch was just an excuse.
The trios unbending loyalty as petrol-heads was not a popular position in the British media.
Nor was there plain talk, they kinda spoke like real people about a lot of touchy PC subjects.
If you ask me that's why they got fired.

I love Matt Lablanc, he's great, but do you honestly believe he n the new guy would have driven around in 2011 Iraq.
Just watch some of the pre2016 travel episode in all the crazy far flung places then ask yourself.
Do I see Matt Lablanc n the new guy doing this?
I don't Bloody think so.
My guees is 2016 will be silly n safe, Not scary, crazy bordering on lunacy

Comedy is supposed to be irreverent n anarchistic.
I'm not saying Matt Lablanc n that other guys 2016 show is awful.
It's just not the Top Gear I like with Captain Slow, The Hamster n the Big Ape.
I don't care who hit who, FUNNY IS FUNNY! quit being so PC n fix it. 

Shit, hire a body man to stand between Jeremy n producers if you have to.
Though if you did hire a body man for Jeremy, make a thing about it on the show, it would be a great gag. 
Sell it to management as safety n tell Jeremy that he can use it whatever way he wishes for laughs.
I can already see a very imposing figure stepping in live shot to reign Jeremy in n him reacting to it or James May n Richard Hammond calling the guy in n sicking him on Jeremy.
You just don't throw away GOOD! 
You film crazy, you do not cut it off because your feelings are hurt.

The biggest problem pre2016 British Top Gear had is British Media n the producers of the show thought that they were presenting a car show.
When in actual fact they were providing a stage for 3 very good comics. 
Which requires latitude. 

Here's what happened.
I mentioned pre2016 British Top Gear in yesterdays post to illustrate a point.
Well if you know me at all, you know that the fact that it creeped into the post meant I had a lot more to say about it.
N Voila. 

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After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, July 1, 2016

Proby aka Po #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Today is my 65th Birthday.
I want to thank everyone on facebook for all there kind words n well wishes.

As far as ages go I think 16, 21 n 65 are the big ones.
I had hoped that before my 65th Birthday the folks in Hollywood might have made an announcement.
Well that didn't happen.

Anyway to the topic of this post.
Last night I had a very long dream n Proby was at my side in the whole thing.
I dreamt that I was back in the shop n Po was at my side.
Funny thing is I left the shop over 20 years ago.

I was walking around talking to everybody I used to work with telling them I'd be 65 soon n retiring.
Proby wasn't just at my side, she was stealing the dream.

I need to tell you something about Po.
Proby has been working on her mind control techniques for 5 years now.
Seriously, Po stares at me n wills me to do things.

I think Proby has expanded her mind control techniques to include entering my dreams, because last nights dream featured Proby.
It was like I had second billing in my own dream.
At one point I was on top of a crowd of people, not a clue why.
Proby came to the edge n I grabbed her front feet so she could climb up also.

If this had been Billy she'd have just flew up there, but no it was Probies dream in my head so she climbed.
I don't remember much more, just that Proby was at my side in the whole dream.
I woke up in a pretty good mood.
No small thing because I've been kinda depressed for a few weeks.

I just don't know what to make of it.
Proby like all Bull Mastiffs is a comfort dog, it's what they excel at.
Mastiffs keep you company so you never feel alone n watch your backside so you never need worry.
But I've never had a Mastiff enter my dreams so strongly.
I think old Po is really perfecting her mind control talent. 

You think I'm joking but I'm not.
If you spent much time around me you'd see how Proby does it.
She just stares at me until I hear her.
Proby really does not bark, not sure she remembers how.

Mastiff's just aren't much on barking.
Mastiff's figure you should know what there thinking without saying it. 

Remember that time Rudy saved pinky from Coyote's?
Not a word, but man did those coyote run like hell.
Rudy came down that hill with pure menace n no doubt.
Those coyote's knew the righteous hand of God was about to smite them.
They gone! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I was truly grateful Rudy got to live that moment before she passed.

Hell looka that Proby ran my dream last night n now she's taken over today's Post.
Should I be getting nervous.
God, she's good.

Come on folks, Probies post to be at least 200
Yup Guilt, I told you Proby could use mind control over humans. She got her 200 views. 
actually 600 views.

Again thanks to everyone for wishing me well on my Birthday.

Curious about something.
Who is it putting things on my screen saver?
Just noticed following comment on my screen saver, a pic of Rudy.
Upper right corner.
"Even monkeys fall out of trees."
Who's doing that?

Secret time.
Kathy just left for cottage that Ri, Matt n the girls are at.
Here's the thing, I like being alone on my Birthday.
I don't handle Birthdays well, it's easier if I'm alone.
Well that is me n Po.

OK, Time for me, Po, Billy dog, etc to go out n meet the day. A tractor n DIRT will be involved. 

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After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary