Saturday, January 7, 2017

"Normal" #pezoutlaw #hollywood

You don't tell people what you know to be true.
You wear the face that people expect n want to see.

Do you have any idea what a gift being normal is?
I have no idea what it's like.
Happy people are a real mystery to me. 
I consider neutral a very good day.

Notes From The Asylum is my therapy.

I watched the Brian Wilson movie last night.
Kinda depressing for me but it did end well.
Imagine hearing music.

It occurred to me that all he was doing was sharing what was in his head with the rest of the world.
Sound familiar?
Sharing is good, right?

Prompted me to ask Kathy the question that you never should. 
Guy was a bit crazy, I'm not that bad am I?
Kathy's answer, Sometimes.

Kathy n only Kathy has earned the right. 
What sanity I have, she helped me find.
Years of what even I can see was crazy, earned Kathy that right.

That was then though n this is now.
The years I even see as crazy are behind me.
I like to think of myself as a softer gentler crazy now. 

Which by the way is why I say forgive yourself of your past.
Every morning is a rebirth, a fresh start.
With that new day, try to get it right.

I answer Kathryn now, Yes Mam n No Mam.
My goal is to repay her for her years of faith that I was wort the time n effort.
She earned what I have left in life to give, I intend to make that good.

I understand that I have a unique perspective, but have rationalized it to a sense of normal.
You just can't begin to see how others see you.
I put it away by saying, it is what it is.

That's another reason I will never see the Pez Outlaw movie.
If Brian Wilson's story bothered me, just imagine one about yourself.
No way I'm lookin in that mirror.

Thing is of course they're gonna go with the crazy, it's the hook. 
N that's fine I get it.
I want n need the payday, so you know, have at it boys.

Back to Kathy's answer, sometimes yeah you're that crazy.
Immediately your mind wants to rewind the clips n review.
Which parts?

You understand I can't see it, right.
The only times I get a glimpse is in the eyes of people around me. 
A look on someones face, but even that by now is just normal.

People have been lookin at me weird since I was a kid.
Hippie thing, Straight Jacket, n now I look like Santa Claus.
Collar on a few hundred dollar new leather jacket irritates me, I cut it off. 

I don't know what to tell you, I just can't see it.
I'm aware of it n accept it but Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Hate to tell ya but to me my mind is normal, your mind is the one I don't understand.

I haven't got a freakin clue what it's like to be "Normal".
I only know what I know.
I only see the world the way I see it.

So when I go in you know that direction, no way I see it.
I've learned to embrace the word crazy.
My attempt is to take the word crazy back, to own it.

Brian Wilson's movie might be a sign of what's to come in the Pez Outlaw Movie.
I honestly have to leave that one alone also.
I've cut my deal, It is what it is.

I trust the people involved.
My only suggestion is, make a movie people enjoy.
How I come off is for you n they to decide.

No different than now.
I can not control how others perceive me. 
Crazy would be to try.

Truth is I never asked Kathy, which parts.
I just accepted what she said n let it go.
Though as you can see, I did write about it. 

Waste not want not.
I thought linking to trending tweets might be something. IT'S NOT!
Just trying to promote the cause.

That Probably was a Bad Idea

Then let's not do that.
N This is a better idea?

It would appear I temporarily lost control.
A saboteur had the controls. 

It happens.
51% sane.
2 points n ?

You mean like low tide?
What????
Sure, Why Not.

You get to thinking.
Well that was you're 1st mistake. 
Stop That!

Believe it or not, the whole thing started or stemmed from an imaginary interview. 
Nothing bad ever results from an imaginary reporter interviewing you.

Hey, Are you sure we should be sharing this?
I mean, starting to sound, Well Nuts.

Oh don't worry bout it, I think we're on a good foot now.
Ok, But you know what happened last time.

You gotta be more specific.
Which last time we talking about?

Never mind.
I think we already jumped off that bridge. 

You're starting to get on my nerves. 

















After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.






 

Pez Outlaw Diary


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