Friday, December 23, 2016

The Happiness Project #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

My vision of happiness. 
Turn off the computer for at least 6 months.
Get 30 semi truck loads of bankrun (gravel n dirt) then spend 3 months moving it into places on the farm with the tractor.

Then get some building material to build 3 more horse sheds n spend another 3 months doing that. 

That's my idea of retirement/vacation.


Say Hollywood were to make a Pez Outlaw Movie?
Would that make me Happy or solve my problems?

First, I want this and it would be an honor if a movie was made about Pez Outlaw.
After all I've been working over a decade in hopes of a Pez Outlaw movie.

But would a Pez Outlaw movie solve all my problems?
You might be shocked to learn that my takehome after taxes, agents ect would be approx $35,000.00.
My debt to the bank from my losses at the hands of Pez Corp are approx $185,000.00.
Well that didn't work.

I would though derive a great deal of satisfaction from the recognition of the Pez Outlaw story that a movie would validate.
If the Pez Outlaw Movie was made a book deal would be almost automatic.
My guess is that my take home from a book deal would also be approx $35,000.00.
Don't ask me why I know this, OK I saw it on TV, so it must be true.

$185,000.00 - $35,000 - $35,000 = $115,000
Still $115,000.00 in the hole.
I mean great strides in the right direction but still not a 100% win.

That's why I hope if that all happens that someone might want to publish Pez Outlaw Diary in paperback as a companion piece to the Big Book.
I also hope that while the iron is hot I might get a compilation of the best posts from Notes From The Asylum by Pez Outlaw published. 

I further hope that after all those things were in motion or reality that Pez Corp might think reparations for there actions in 1998 might be a good PR move.

The big question though is this.
After over a decades work toward this very goal, Would I be Happy?
I believe I would in this regard.
I've been very clear since the beginning of this journey what the goals were.
I believe that I'd be willing at that point to find closure.

Unnamed Others have thought they knew what people of my station in life would consider "everything you dreamed of".
You really can't blame them in this age of reality star fame, for thinking a few moments of fame was the dream.
No, I've already had a version of that, so not so much.
As I said, I've known what my true goals are from the beginning n fame of any type is not even on the list.

Raising awareness of the Pez Outlaw story is and what might be accomplished by the name ID of Pez Outlaw are.

So will, would all of this make me happy?

I'm not sure I'd fell any different than I do now.
You see mentally, I'm already in a better place, that much has already been accomplished by the work I've done on Pez Outlaw Diary and Notes From The Asylum.

What would be different is a sense of accomplishment and closure.
Add to that a feeling of vindication and I don't mean over Pez Corporation.
No vindication in my belief that I could do it.
That when I was down to zero $$$$.
I realized I could work with that, that I still had my mind as a resource I could tap.

You see in the beginning nobody believed I could do this, nobody.
Nobody except me, I believed I could.
I had faith in myself n the drive to continue for 15 years.
That takes a lot of dedication to something when no one else thinks you are sane for even trying.

So yes vindication is the correct word, just not in the sense or concerning who, that you might think.
In myself and my belief in myself.

Kathy supported me, but I'm not sure even she believed I could do it.
Though our life's experiences have shown her that with her support interesting things happen.

I think it will be interesting to watch the reaction to everything as it plays out.
There will be those who think, lucky him.
Without any understanding of the 15 years of work it took to get here.

Be forewarned. 
Do not ask me for money, because I don't n won't have any.
The bank is gonna get every penny.
Your sob story won't match my reality of the last 15 years n I will have no time for it.
That includes sob stories about diseases, we've got our own. 
People that contact me expecting??? saying that they have this disease or that really piss me off.
We are dealing with one of our own n we have never used it to try n gain sympathy.
Never ask me about it, it's off limits for any conversation anywhere.

Don't try to hitch a ride.
Put in your own time on your own deal n earn your own reward.

Other than facebook friends which I do like.
Don't try to be my friend (except on facebook).
I have all the friends I want (except on facebook).

You wanna know the truth.
June 21, 2016 I will be 65 years old.
I just want to retire n no longer need to worry about owing the bank $185,000.00 for PEZ.

So Happiness.
I want to play in dirt with my tractor like when I was a child n have people think n say, Man he works hard.

One additional thought.
On behalf of all of us nobodies out here.
Big corporations, Big Banks n Wall Street all got bailouts while we the nobodies lost our homes.
Isn't it about time one of us beat a Big Corporation by just telling what happened.
Out of all this you'd think Karma would allow at least one nobody a win. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

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