Saturday, December 24, 2016

Giddy Up Tech #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Us old folks need a line of product called Giddy Up Tech.
I just spent 4 hours on updates to my computer.
Short Response, Microsoft I do not care, please stop it.
Do we really need every little genius idea these children come up with on our computers.
I blame the participation trophy generation that made these kids think every annoying idea they have is essential to us.

Long version.
Seriously Microsoft I can't begin to tell you how annoying all your updates are.
Beyond that once updated to windows 10 my computer wanted to bore me with how wonderful it is now.
Honestly, computer just shut up n let me get on with my stuff because I'm so not interested.
Then my computer wanted me to choose apps for?
Again, not interested, please get off my screen.
Oh yeah then of course I had to update Norton, YEAH!

I really have to tell you my emotion is, I HATE COMPUTERS.

My computer is forever wanting me to choose, add, update, pick.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
The degree to which I'm not interested, just can not be measured.

You know that phone for old folks on TV with big numbers n simplicity of use.
I think it's called the Giddy Up or something.
I/we old people need a computer that works like that.
Big numbers, leaves us alone n just let's us do the few simple things we want to do.

I just bought a new thermometer with giant numbers, love that thing.

Damn, getting a popup, pick an app, What The Hell.
No idea what it's even asking?
I know the kids love apps but I have no idea n certainly don't use them.
Please go away.

I have never bought or used an app n I never will.
Reason, no idea what an app is or how to use one.
Reason 2, I don't want to know what an app is n no desire to use one. 
app to me is some made up thing to distract children from reality.
I don't need an app for distraction.
I'm Old, I got that covered.

While we're at it.
Would someone please make a simple TV.
I swear I'm afraid to do anything because if I do, I have no idea if I'll ever make it back.
So Josh gives me a thumb drive with a movie, umm yeah but????

Anyway, I have very simple needs, please tailor a TV, a computer Hell even a radio I can actually use.
God, I miss knobs. 
Click n your done.
Don't have to give your life story just to use it.

Tech designers you do know us old fogies are getting to be the biggest segment of the population?
Maybe products we find easier to use?

Ebay, for the record you are no better.
The number of messages I get from you on stupid stupid subjects of no relevance or interest to me is absurd. 
Simplicity Boys n Girls. Not interested in all the Fru Fru n Do Da.
Yeah Yeah your wonderful ebay but all the Lookie Lookie n backslapping.
Man I'd think by now you'd have laryngitis n an awfully sore arm.

Us old folks need a line of product called Giddy Up Tech.
Computers, telephones, TV's, Radios, microwaves, kitchen ranges, washers dryers etc that we actually understand and can use.
The last thing older people want is integrated appliances or remotes that do everything.
If I want something on, I turn it on.
If I want to set a thermostat up or down, I do it.

This interdependence on tech is a real doomsday scenario.
Everybody is unlearning how to do everything.
Power goes n nothing works.
Forget it if there's an EM Pulse.

Don't get me started on tech dependent cars, there's a catastrophe waiting to happen.
You know that billion we were all talking about.
Start a car company that removes every single bit of tech from a car. Everything.
Basically I'd make 1945 to 1955 Ford trucks.
If you know what happens, they'd be the only things driving around, that n horses.
That n a 1945 to 1955 Ford truck, you can actually fix one yourself.

Giddy Up Tech, That's the ticket.

Security Gizmo

Billy Dog n Po, security gizmo's. 
Wait a dog gone minute, I should name my next dog Security Gizmo.

Have you seen the commercial for what seems to be putting a phone in place of your doorbell.
The idea is, badguy rings your bell/phone, you act like you're home n he goes away.

First, badguys see commercials too.
It's kinda obvious to me that badguys know what these doorbell/phones look like.

My guess is what your not going to hear are the following 2 results.
These doorbell/phones are going to get stolen at a high rate.
2. Accidental home invasions with people home will increase because badguys will see the gizmo n think nobody is home.

This is my solution.
My Security Gizmo #1
My Security Gizmo #2
You come to my door n if the barking does not send you packing.
Billy Dog looking at you through the window in the door will.

You come to my door n Billy Dog is looking right at you saying she is home.
I don't need a doorbell/phone to pretend I'm home. because I am home.

Billy Dog is not afraid of anything?????
Except little puddy baby dachshund under the covers in bed.
It freaks her out.

Basically it's this.
If there selling it on TV, it's too late.
Badguys watch TV Too.
Get a BIG DOG. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
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