Saturday, February 20, 2016

Opinions #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw.

I've always had an unnameable yearning deep in my soul.
Less mediocrity n mundane, more of interesting.
Things that tickle the mind. 
A need to create that lacks the talent.

This post was going to be the first of many in an effort to collectively rewrite Pez Outlaw Diary.
I regret to inform you I lost interest only a half page in.
Let's just let Jeff do it, if he still wants to?

I don't remember much of yesterday because I tend to chuck yesterday n focus on today n tomorrow.
Not the greatest way to live if you want to write a life story.
Just a handful of memories survive as little flashes from my preteens n teens.
To be honest it bores me to even recall that much.
The thought of rewriting Pez Outlaw Diary kinda sucks.
One of the things that frustrates me the most in life is doing something I've already done over.

That's why n where Jeff comes in with his tape recorder.
I just can't n don't want to do it.
As messed up as Pez Outlaw Diary is, it took 3 years to write.
My heads just not there anymore.
This situation where I prefer to forget the past is why it was so critical to get as much as I could down while I still retained the memories.
Many of the things I put in the Diary, well the details are no longer fresh.

So where's my head n my focus at now? Notes From The Asylum.
I get immediate gratification from NTFA.
Pez Outlaw Diary is 15-18 years n still waiting for the reward.
NTFA, I get happiness or results withing 24 hours. 
I also feel better about my writing in NFTA, I think I've improved.
I really enjoy the free form that NFTA allows.
I enjoy playing with reality, goofing on it.
Following a single thought to its potential.

A commercial asking for $19.95 per month gives me Guilt Trip, $19.95. #pezoutlaw #pez #hollywood
2 commercials for products using boats gives me Buy Me A Boat #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw
My aversion to tech gave me Giddy Up Tech? #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw
My daily life gave me Dirt #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlawYou get my point.

My whole life I have had opinions on almost anything that goes by my ears or eyes.
Yeah it's truly that bad, but Notes From The Asylum gives me an outlet for those endless opinions n spares Kathy having to hear them.
Before NFTA I'd get an opinion n obsess about it for days.
Now I get an opinion write it down in NFTA n the act of writing it releases me from it.
Yes you got it right, this post ends up being an opinion about opinions.

I have never been embarrassed by or afraid of my opinions.
My relationship with any of my opinions is momentary, tomorrow I may take the opposite side just for the fun of it.

On that other subject that we're not allowed to talk about.
I'm not looking for or expecting the Big Affirmative.
No, actually all I'm hoping for is news of a string of incremental movement in that direction.
Little bits of good news.
I get it. It's like an airport.

Randomly In the last 2 decades I've had a lot of people who think it would be cool to know me.
Once they really know me very few stick around.
I don't ask why because actually I'm good with the failure rate.
The main problem seems to be a misunderstanding of the meaning of clearly stated realities.
Reality is a bitch, there's yours n there's mine.
People want to bend you to there will.
I'm not good with that, but the subject is open to interpretation.

Often in my life people will say, so n so is saying this or that about you.
Huh, they never said it to me, so who cares.

Are they having fun? Cool.
Like they say, Any press is good press.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, February 19, 2016

See Ya, Buddeee! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Not what you think, the Old Man is doin great.

We'll get there but first I need to set the Table.

Since we began here at Notes From The Asylum I've had occasion to write a few posts about Dogs n Horses.
From that information you most likely know that we have 18 horses n 4.25 dogs living on the farm at the moment.
Puddy/Tootsie baby Dachshund is the .25, she's very small.
I suppose by that math Tricksie should be counted as .33 of a horse.

Anyway, the point being lots of animals live here n everything depends on relationships.
Knowing the animals or better yet understanding them.
I've told you that I'm a ground pounder, meaning I no longer ride, not for 25 years.
My job is to take care of the horses, Feed them, Water them, clean up there poo.
I also maintain there fences, feeders n living quarters.

I do not train horses, but for the work that I do for them of which they are keenly aware.
I expect consideration, if in a situation that could go either way, I expect that the horses give that little bit to me out of appreciation.
To be honest if as horse does not, they are gone.
I'm happy to say that we have a very good group of horses here now, all the problem children are gone.

Here's the thing.
My babies see me working for things they want, a safe world to live in, food n water.
If a horse can't give me that little tilt that turns a potential disaster into a win for us both.
That's a horse I do not want to have around.
A horse that will not show a very small bit of consideration for my labor is a fool.

In the last few years I've come to recognize a very general form of communication from horses.
How they hold there head, ear position, how they shape there eyes, other micro expressions n body language.
No one thing but more an overall.
When combined with a situation you understand what a horse is saying.

Johnny being loaded to leave to a new potential home.
Very big soft eyes looking directly at me, resigned body language.
Johnny was asking to stay.
I told them immediately if it does not work out, bring him back, a week later Johnny returned.
Johnny struck the bargain, I will be a good horse n be friendly n considerate for your work.
Done deal John, you're home.

Red the horse. Red, Red, Red, Redneck.
Red bunged himself up good at his new home with someone we know.
It was not a good fit.
Red was sent here so his eye n leg could heal, she did not, not want him back.
Kathy said has he asked you yet.
Honey, that's all he's doing is asking, over n over n over.
Red struck the bargain, he said I see n appreciate what you do for me, I will be a good horse n be friendly n considerate.

Two Boys came to us a few years back Cowboy n Dub.
Both horses struck the deal happily, Boy n Dub had been #14 n #15 on a 15 horse pileup for food that was running low n out.
Good groceries n a few years n oh my gosh what beautiful boys they are.

Billy dog asked me if she was finally home when was still in the car that brought her here.
Yes Billy your home now.

Many of the horses that show up here have needs.
They need to heal, either from a physical injury or mental issues.
That care is a golden moment to find the inner horse, the good ones get it n a line of communication is opened during there recovery.
That intimate time of healing is where the bond n relationship can be formed.
Ole Roz took 3 years with a mental issue, but now she is my sweet baby.
I found by respecting Roz's boundary issues that she in turn gave me respect for recognizing her needs.
The other day Roz put her head in the doorway gently next to my shoulder.
Trust is a very big thing, my movement n behavior could be trusted.

I've noticed something else with a type of horse I like beyond a horse that is willing to strike a mutual bargain.
There are horses that have child like innocence, a purity of n open souls.
You can tell by the way they carry themselves n by what they think is fun.
Some horses are playful open n honest.
Cowboy will just follow Kathy around, he genuinely likes her.
Cowboy, Red n Jimmy are the best examples of this.
Damage a horse like this n you will go to hell.

Then you got the Old Man 36 = 108 in human years.
The Old Man is the biggest chatterbox on the farm, that guy has somethin to say about most everything.
Remind you of anybody.

I expect when crazy is happening that my dogs n horses behave.
Which brings us to the topic of today.
The neighbors 3 horses got out 3 times yesterday.
The first time I only heard about. 
The 4pm one I had to catch them. 
The 8pm one I had to catch them.

4pm. saw neighbors 3 horses just gettin it down the road toward my place while watering. 
put the hose down n started calling, come on babies I got ya.
With horses you want create a situation where the horse has 2 choices n one of them is one that they kinda want anyway, then move them toward the good choice.
Tried grain, you make noise in a bucket n most horses are like Pavlov's Dog to the sound.
No Go.
OK, got 2 flakes second cutting laid it in driveway midway up n worked my way behind them.
Lots of foolin round 10 minutes later got my hands on who by then saw was there leader.
Headed towards new barn/arena yellin Susan's name.
Got barn open took the big guy to stall #6.
Oh crap forgot to close barn door, other 2 headed back out.
10 minutes later recaptured them, closed the door this time.
Gave them each 2 flakes 1st cutting, best cause don't know what they're used to n a fresh bucket of water.
My part done, Susan drove down to tell the guy we had his horses.

Guy had been in yard cuttin wood, Horses just ran behind him sayin see ya.

Guy gets here, told him we're good.
Just did what Kathy would've expected.
I'll get my atta boy from her when she gets home.
Problem woulda been if I'd done less, then in Kathy's eyes I would have been found wanting.
So I'm good, just went from done early to done late, I'll get over it.

Car pulls in, dogs go nuts, very nice lady at the door.
Hey steve, just almost hit 3 horses in the road, they yours.
Nope, guy down the roads.
I'm tired, remember I'm almost 65, see how smooth I play that card.
The problem is I actually have no choice, you see each night by 7pmish I tuck all my horses in for the night, one by one.
So all was good at 7:15pm, but horse running by can ryle everybody up so at the very least I gotta go out n retuck them all in.
I get out doin that n I see west of me cars in the road stopped headlights on horses in the road.
Well shit, somebody or an animal is just gonna get hurt.
Down the road I go talking to the horses, Hey Babies I got ya.
This time Big Boy comes right to me so a parade of me horses n cars starts down the dirt road in the dark lit by headlights.
A car comes from the other direction, it's a Nichols one of Lyle's boys.
Hey could you do me a favor, drive down n tell him I got his horse's, you know, again.
Good kid actual man, he did.
guy shows up midway between our houses, a bit of a walk for me.
Hey buddy long time no see.
Well least since about 6pm.
Hey Buddy you got stalls down there. 
He says yah maybe I better put them in them.
Me, yah maybe a good idea.
See yah.

Thing is, horse's some say aren't real bright but if they figure something out they are gonna keep doin it.
Cowboy is sure as shit that if he walks slow enough he can walk through a fence n he's been almost right a few times..
Me I turn the fencer on n he gets a poke n thinks better of the idea.
My horses though if they get out stay pretty much here.
Why, because they like it here n there friends are here.
Plus we all made the deal.
I work for them n they give me the benefit of the doubt in tricky situations.
Otherwise they are gone.

There are to many animals here for us to not cooperate, so everything runs smooth.
Foolish animals create chaos n I personally have no time n can't afford ignorant animals.
I make an effort n expect the same.

I care deeply for all of my animals but I expect that they listen when I ask them for a favor.

Out of nowhere n totally unrelated.
One of the best TV lines I've heard in a long time.
On Better Call Saul.
From Chuck to his brother Jimmy.
Giving a law degree from the University of Samoa to Slippin Jimmy is like giving a monkey a machine gun.
Soul Crushingly good dialog.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Old Man                                     


Short Horse Story

Roz n her 2 horse compadres got loose today.
Better than it sounds.
I had a choice when the first horse charged the gate, close the gate n god knows where that one ends up or run fast as I can n close the arena door. 
I chose option B, meaning all 3 got out but damage limited to inside the arena.

As Sloan would say, the neighbors learned some new curse words.
Then the coolest thing happened, after calling Roz a few times, she led the other 2 back into there pasture.
That a horse comes when you call it is pretty good on it's own, add to that 3 years ago I couldn't get within 10 ft of Roz because it scared her to much.
Oh yeah n Roz let me pet her head in front of her moms yesterday.

So you know, crisis averted.

News alert.
Billy Dog ran for her life.
3 horses charging at you is more than her internship as a horse dog could take.
We'll get'm next time Billy.
I'm not sure it wasn't the better part of valor in the situation.  

The rest of the story.

A while back Billy Dog got kicked in the side by a horse, it left a 2 inch hole.
Ripped her hide good.
So I think you can understand why Billy Dog is not real keen to take on 3 fast moving horses.

Here's the part that will surprise you.
Billy Dog wants with all her heart to be a herd manager.
Things stay where there supposed to n go where there supposed to.

That kick in Billies side gave her wisdom.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Tom Selleck #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Just heard another TV commercial for selling your life insurance policy to some corporation.Add to that thought reverse mortgages where you sell the equity in your home but live there till you die.

Till you die on both is my problem.

I hate the idea of being worth more to anybody dead than alive.
I just get squeamish at the idea that my survival has a cheering section that's rooting against me.
Not to mention that I'm basically a tin foil hat kinda guy who looks over his shoulder as it is.

Both life insurance and reverse mortgage guys get a larger payout if I die sooner.
There's a thought that's sure to make you feel good.

I hate the idea that anyone other than Pez Corporation or Scott McWhinnie wishes my death for personal gain.
It just puts such a negative vibe into the Universe at a time in life when I can use all the good Karma I can get.

I think that's why in a lot of ways I prefer being worth negative $150,000.00 on paper and having poor credit.
All the crazy hackers etc are gonna leave me alone.
How do you take out a loan in someones name who has bad credit.

Fraud is another reason why I don't talk on telephones.
Just felt like most people who called wanted something.
My brother Virgil is still pissed at me for refusing to talk on a telephone.
For Pete's sake Virgil, get in your damn car n drive over, I'll talk to you as long as you want, but I really despise telephones.
Wanna know the truth, I'm more or less insulted when someone wants me to talk on a telephone.

It just feels like the whole world wants something or to draw you into there drama.
$19.95 per month for this worthy cause or that.
Reverse Mortgages.
Sell me your life insurance.
How was our service.
Will you take a survey.
Guys driving up to your house selling meat?????
Young guys pulling into your drive outa the blue because there curious about your life.
Honest to God someone invited me to church where the sermon is given from horseback. 
Then you have the personal dramas and issues.
Let's not forget people who offer to promote my ebook for a small fee.
or give me more followers for a fee
or promote my posts for a fee
shine my shoes, walk my dog, block my hat for a fee.
Nope, to hell with all of you. You could never measure the degree of my interest. zero.

Add to the above that this whole cyber crime thing freaks me out.
Gonna go low tech, no tech, soon as I can. 

One little TV commercial n all hell breaks loose. 
Time to turn on Willie's Roadhouse n calm down.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

The Long Con #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Pez Outlaw

In my youth my entire family seemed to be struck by a phenomenon called "When the highway goes through".Kinda odd now that I think about it because the highway went through when I was in grade school.
More accurately it shoulda been when the road goes through.

At the heart of it was, when the road went through how the city would buy up a bunch of land/property n dreams would come true.
For over a decade everyone in my family pinned high hopes on this one big event.
In the end I believe only brother Lloyd actually sold 2 properties to the city.

Sometimes in life we pin to much hope on one life changing event to pull our fat outa the fire.
Never a good idea, but outa desperation we fall into the trap.
Probably one of the worst forms of setting ourselves up for disappointment.

I believe that I've fallen under the same spell n now must prepare myself for the worst.
Yesterday was a really tough day, for the first time in this journey it started dawning on me that this may not be happening.
I know, talk about an optimist in that yesterday was the first time I thought I might fail.

The option on my life rights runs out sometime before March 1, 2017.
Meaning if I'm gonna get news it will happen in the next 20 day or not at all.
A very bad omen has started, in old parlance my calls are no longer being returned.

I fear that I must start preparing myself for a failure.
I think that maybe the highway will not be going through.
That said I want to thank the parties concerned for there interest in my story.

In the eventuality that there is no Pez Outlaw Movie I only have the most vague of ideas on how I might proceed.
I believe that I will just continue work here in Notes From The Asylum.

For the past 2yrs the Asylum has helped me let go of Pez Outlaw Diary.
Maybe 15yrs of mourning for my old life was enough.
Notes From The Asylum might be the new chapter in my life.

Possibly it's now time to let Pez Outlaw Diary go.
I accept full responsibility for this failure, no one else can or should be blamed. 

The above statement will be all I have to say about this, I just felt I owed you this much.
I will not respond to inquiries about this any further. 


Don't let the title fool you, before I'm done you'll see that this is actually a very positive post.
Recently I mentioned that I fear the Pez Outlaw project has failed.
Yes failure Sucks, but I gotta tell ya, I'm not afraid to fail.

Two reasons.
1. you never know where failure might lead you.
2. ratio of no's to the inevitable yes.

In the 1980s I was on a McDonald's quest.
I found out while on that quest that there is always a ratio of no's to the eventual yes.
I don't care if it's 100 no's for that one yes, it's out there waiting for you.
The only way that you don't get that yes is if you give up.

I also realized on that McDonald's quest that sometimes what you think you are doing is not at all where you are headed.
I thought I was hunting for McDonald's toys, what I found out was that I was actually collecting Happy Meal Boxes.
The end result was that Joshua n I took 2 van loads of Happy Meal Boxes to a McDonald's Convention n SOLD OUT in the first night.

What I'm trying to take from this is this.
For 15yrs I've been banging on about Pez Outlaw Diary, there is evidence to suggest that I was actually working my way to Notes From The Asylum. 
Once I'm sure Pez Outlaw Diary has failed I will illustrate the evidence of this.

Do not fear failure.
Embrace your failure n own it.
Most of all, learn from the failure n make sure that it didn't lead you to something better.

Quitting is not an option, if I did I'd never find my yes at roads end.
Notes From The Asylum is already a better product than Pez Outlaw Diary.
In creativity alone, I believe this to be true.

I'd like to point out a NEW thing in my character.
Now when I fail, 1st thing I do is accept 100% responsibility for the failure.
No more blaming others.

That said Pez Outlaw Diary stays as it is, a raw primal scream from a past life.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Insanity is Only Perspective #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I'm not a big fan of Reality.I prefer the world in my head.
Each day the real world demands my presence, it always depresses me.

The difference between Crazy n Insane is Only Perspective.
This was made very clear to me yesterday.
My guess is that you've never gotten "The Look".

Yesterday while showing Kathy some things that I thought Quite Clever, I got the look.
Followed by "even Josh asked if everything is alright".
Then told, "you get to involved in an idea n following it, you need to step back'.

In short Kathy was saying, you've gone down the rabbit hole again.
Your search within is eluding people who see it.
Sometimes I get so involve with the creation of something that I can't see what I've created, objectively.

That's the rough part of the line between crazy n insane.
You think what your doing is genius,  Then you get that look.
N the terrible part is you can't see it.

That's why I bring up insane.
Being crazy is a delicate dance on the line between sanity n insanity.
You never notice when you cross that line.

It's all perspective.
I love the twisty digging deep of mental creation.
But I'm to close, I can't see what you are viewing.

Nor do I see what you bring to that viewing as your perspective on my work.
For that matter, I also don't see the obvious insights that some of my creations give you about where my head is at, at the moment.
It's right there obvious as hell, but I'm to busy working on the details to notice.

So I get the look.
Trust me, I don't enjoy getting it.
I thought I was doing great.

The difference between insane n genius is also a fine line.
You are a genius when people accept n understand your thoughts as fresh n unique.
You are insane when those same people do not understand your thoughts n reject them as outside the norm.

Truthfully, none of this really bothers me.
Then again an insane person thinks he's a genius.
In the end we are all judged by our peers.

My good fortune is that since age 19 (47yrs now) I've had Kathy to help me navigate the line between crazy n insane.
She says, step back, you need to filter your thoughts more, I do it.
I enjoy what I do here, it helps me deal with a lot of things, but?

This all came up I believe because of the 2 following posts.
I'm going to share an image that I thought was really clever, but is precisely when I got the sternest look of disapproval I've ever gotten and "The Talk".
Yesterday n even today I can't see the problem, though I don't doubt that there is one.
So why share it? I think because it illustrate better than words what I'm talking about in this post.
I'm sure a year from now I'll be able to see what's wrong with the image, but right now all I see is the cleverness of the creation.

I said last night to Kathy, "maybe it does show where my head is at right now".
Kathy, in shocked expression. "YA THINK!
Nope, I missed it completely.

I bet you a dollar I get scolded again for sharing that image with you.
Then again, The title of this blog is Notes From The Asylum.
So you know................. 

In my defense.
I wonder what Edvard Munch, Edgar Allan Poe, Rod Serling or Stephen King's relatives n loved ones thought of there work.
Did they get the look n "The Talk"? 

by Edvard Munch
Granted, My work is like stick figures to actual Art.
Then again my work is modernistic/minimalist. 
I take what's around me n re-purpose it to express a thought.

I  can see the obvious once it's pointed out, but still try to make the case that it was not my point.

The bigger question.
Why do you do this, write these posts n share these things.
"Normal" people/thought would be, to personal, better to hide this side of yourself.
I don't know, I'm compelled, something inside me say that I should, that writing precisely these things is the right thing to do.

I believe that you instinctively are driven to do things that are where you need to go or what you must do n I trust these instincts.
Instinct was what drove me to become n execute the Pez Outlaw years, because of that when driven to do something, I do not fight it.

That n to be honest.
Posts in the Asylum that do best are when I dig deep.
With this provision.
The best posts are dig deep, but obscure the true meaning.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, February 12, 2016

Underdogology #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

OH Yeah, we make up words all the time round here. 
What are they gonna do, Take my crayons away?
Nothing is fixed, things keep moving.

The Scrappy Misfit Underdog Wins

Isn't that what we all like to believe?
Hit him with a left hook, then a right jab.
Then pick yourself up off the mat n do it again.

Hey it worked in Rocky, so shouldn't it in life?
Unfortunately No.

Let me tell you a story.
We've got a Halflinger Mare that runs any pen she's in. 
Which is not to say she's the toughest or strongest.
Though Honey Bee is very strong for a pony.

No, what Honey has is a very determined mind.
You might kick her butt on your first day, but Honey will then dog you day after day until your will is gone.
You can put almost any horse in Honey's pen n she'll have them sorted out within days.

My point is that determination followed by action is what wins.
2 Decades, pish posh, a drop in the bucket. 

As my 18yr journey reaches a pivotal point, reflection seems to be what all the kids are doing.
Within the next 30 to 45 days decisions will be made.
The fate of humanity hangs in the balance. 

I pray for us all. 

It Makes me all warm n fuzzy inside to see how many authors of real books are starting to follow me on twitter. 

I like my memory of stuff better than the reality of what they were.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Taboo #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I say Taboo because we all share this collective illusion of immortality.
It's the don't ask, don't tell of life itself.
We all act out each day like this isn't temporary, my Mother in Law knew different.

I remember how for the last decade of my mother in laws life she started doing things to prepare for her death.
She wanted to get things ready so she wouldn't be a burden on her children.
I remember thinking that it was kinda odd behavior.
I've always tried to have a rule that you do not give death 1 second of life, death will get it's own.

Now I find myself signing Pez Outlaw on as many pez as I can so my family will have them if they need them n I'm no longer here to sign them.
I gotta tell ya, I don't even like admitting to this.
The thing that gets you thinking this way is all the celebrities near my age that died in 2016.
Hopefully that's not how this plays out, because I'd sure like to be here n see it happen.

Actually there are 2 sides to everything I've done over the last 2 decades.

Pez Outlaw Diary.
Yes I'd love it to become a movie n a book, but I also want a record of all this in my own hand for my grandchildren.

Notes From The Asylum
That's a tougher nut to crack.
On one hand I wanted it to flesh out Pez Outlaw.
The Diary says what happened, The Asylum fleshes out the person.

N we get back to my mother in law.
With Pez Outlaw Diary n Notes From The Asylum I've tried to leave enough information behind if it's needed.

Father Mulcahy, Princess Leia, Mork.
With each death it's getting harder n harder to maintain my illusion of immortality.
That I know of I'm not going anywhere at the moment but my mother in law's behavior is creeping in.
Until that day I'll keep running for president, writing in Notes From The Asylum n signing pez dispensers.

Yesterday I mentioned to Kathy that I hadn't seen anything on facebook from someone in a very long time.
The person seemed very depressed last I heard.
Why don't I just ask? 
Really because If, I don't want to know.
2016 had enough sadness, I don't want anymore.

The above post is exactly why I play in a partially fantasy world most of the time.

In reality I find to much sadness.

I find joy in my fantasy world.
Moriah said the coolest funny thing yesterday.
Somebody asked her something about the social life of the Horses.
Moriah told them, I'll have to ask Dad n get the latest horse gossip.

That's me, out there talking to the horses and dogs n them talking back to me.
You would not believe the stuff they say.

For the record Milo/dog doesn't even try to hide from humans that he's talking to them.
Most animals are very subtle about speaking to humans but not ole Milo.
I'm sure he's breaking some animal rule by doing it.

With most animals there talking, but you only hear them if you're listening.
Though, thinking about it, it might be a crazy person thing.
Potato, Potato.

Back to signing pez in case the kids need them.
Takes a while for the ink to dry.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

That Guy Follows Me Everywhere #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I glanced at a side mirror yesterday n saw my reflection.
Told Kathy, Yeah that guy follows me everywhere.

I wish I could make the head on my new image twitch left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.

If I live out my fantasies on facebook n twitter, is that fake news?
Where is the line that defines Reality?
How much affect does mental projection have on the story of our lives.
I rebel against any edict that defines my reality. 

I love a good conspiracy theory.
Are we really going to accept a world where the few decide what we read?
Can you live with others deciding for you what is real n what is not?
There is no line, only my choice to read it or not. 

My personal favorite conspiracy theory over the last year was Hillary Body Double.
How could anyone even dream of denying me the pleasure of that one?
Every since the first spoken words, we've told stories. 
How that Woolly Mammoth came down to a modern fish story.

There is no one truth, only many similar truths.
Our perceptions of things before our very eyes differs greatly.
Realities differ, some would say that they differ greatly.
Who we are, what we are n how we perceive others is not the same. 

City folks love the city, I'd rather be dead than live there.
I'm not right anymore than that city feller is wrong, we just like different things.
We perceive our surroundings differently.

We should all fear censorship by anyone for whatever noble reason that they might give.
Put it all out there n let us decide.
If we don't find it interesting or at the least entertaining, it will wither n die.
Nobody needs to dictate or decide thought for others.

If you support the suppression of speech beware, one day that knock will be on your door.
Life is absurd, can we just get on with it.
My mind belongs to no one.
I intend to piss both sides off.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

I wish I could make the head on my new image ratchet left n right 45 degrees. 
It just looks like that's what it wants to do.


Just did google search on Pez Outlaw movie. Nothing yet. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2016


For management purposes I find it useful to imagine that my mind is made up of not voices but small cartoonish characters each with different opinions on any given matter.
My voice in that crowd is that of management, shushing unhelpful n annoying input.

That's where this blog gets it's name, Notes from The Asylum.
The Asylum is my mind and it's inner workings. 

Sometimes it feels like I'm trapped inside my own head.
Like there's this giant chalkboard in my head with all these characters running around, but nobody has any chalk.

Try explaining this to other people, chances are good that the asylum in your head won't be the only one you're in.
I wish I had any skills as a cartoonist, because I believe this would make a good one. 

How do we get from here to there?
Still crunching the numbers.

Why don't you come out n say hello.
5 minutes later, TMI.
You can leave now. 
True story. 

5 minutes n all I'd covered was the benefit of colds n bee stings.
comparisons of weather in different regions.
Dogs, 80s TV, the circle drive n new horse shed.

Stern look, TMI, you're outa here. 
My work was done.
Back to Murder She Wrote.

Oh there was more, much much more. 
My guys found the chalk. 

OH Yeah n don't you just love that thing Orangutans do with there arms above there head when they feel silly.
My 5 minutes are up. 

OK, so we're back to that.
everything's cooo L. 


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, February 8, 2016

#Idjet #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

The Idjet Daily Is Out.

Idjets of the world unite, making a Mockery of  Truth Justice n The American Way.
This week at Rockefeller Center Thousands of Idjets will come together making a statement.
It could be anywhere, you pick because it's pretend.
The police have been put on alert to expect foolishness.
I'm optimistic. 
After all, Idjets are the new silent majority in America. 
No offense taken. 

Sir, put down the crayons n step away from your coloring.
Nobody needs to get hurt here.

The old saw of coming fame.
The last bits of the code just came in.
I swear if it weren't for crazy, I'd never make it. 

20 years ago I was asked "what's next"?
I had no idea, but vanity got the only life preserver on that ship of fools.
At the time I was neck deep in the successful part of the whole Pez thing. 
So obviously I was a person who had insight, able to see the future.

Within a given it's possible to see your next move, outside that Who The Hell Knows.
You stumble into opportunity, the skill is in the execution n exploitation.

What's Your Next Move is somebody who knows there's n that's to hitch a ride.

I stumbled into Pez. After that fell, I stumbled into Pez Outlaw.
Though there is a process that improves your odds of stumbling into things.
Who you are n how you do things. Why you do what you do.
You could call it stumbling around with purpose.
The stumble is unimportant, the execution is the key.

My first move took 10 years, Mcdonalds collectibles.
My second move took another 5 years, Cereal Premiums.
My third move took another 5 years, Pez.
My fourth move took 10 years after that, Pez Outlaw Diary.

I thought my next move might be cereal boxes, but this would not be the first time that what I thought I was doing was wrong. 
That what I was actually heading smack into just grew organically out of a doodle.
Sometimes the thing you are doing at the moment is just the pacifier while you wait for the next thing to reveal itself. 
You just have to be open to it.
That doodle that I was passing time with is Notes From The Asylum.
Notes From The Asylum is my next move.

Poor segue.

Lately I seem to be dreaming about flying planes.
Last nights dream was about smuggling something, god knows what or why to New York.
In none of my dreams about flying planes do I even think I know how to fly a plane.
I just get in and do it, how hard could it be?
My biggest concern seems to be plotting how to get there.
Yeah that's the problem right.
Not to mention that I would never again get in a small plane.
Once bouncing around over the Austrian Alps was enough.

I've had other periods of time when I fly without planes.
Much more fun as dreams go.
I love my dreams when I fly all by myself, haven't had one lately.
Gonna have to work on that.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Saturday, February 6, 2016

NAKED DREAM! #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I bet you thought I was gonna talk about ambition or Pez Outlaw after that title.
Nope, this is that old classic that plays out nightly around the world.
Though I doubt many of us have had the TV classic of Naked in front of our class.

Maybe not a lot but often enough.
We all have them, yes I'm talking about the dreams where you are naked.
Don't tell me I'm the only one who has naked dreams, slow n can't get to or catch something or someone or dreams where you fly.

Most of us, including myself watch our dreams passively.
We let these little buggers torment us at will.
Sometimes for me though, I step in n change the script.

I have an eject button I can push at any time I like when dreaming.
The unique thing is my dream conscious knows it. 
If I don't like a dream n want to end it, my character in the dream just closes his eyes real tight n I wake up.

Well last night I had a new one.
My character was walking along in a ditch of a construction site.
While walking I realized I was naked.
I remember thinking, Oh Hell No, Not this again.
I don't know how but I willed a pair of pants n put them on as I was climbing over the edge where people could see me.

Interesting thing was this, I think it took so much willpower to get that pair of pants that I woke up.
I think my subconscious threw me out of the dream for intruding on his domain. 
I'll tell you this though, I was just not in the mood to be humiliated by my subconscious once again last night.
Sometimes you just gotta say Bullshit, not this again, no thanks.

The Joke I guess is.
I even get kicked out of my own dreams because I refuse to just go along with the script as written.

Kathy said that that was an unusual dream, you know to take charge of a dream. 
I don't know about that, I don't think about things like that.
What I do know is that reality can suck n suck a lot, but to be also tormented at night in dreams.
Nope, I'd had enough.

I've been dealing with inner conflict my whole life.
In that conflict someone must take charge.
After a lifetime of this my mind has evolved to this.
That it might manifest in my dreams was admittedly unusual, but then again wouldn't it.

When your young you enjoy sex dreams, lie if you want but we know the truth.
At this age, if I can gain further control of my dreams, I would have more dreams where I fly.
I have flight dreams but nowhere near as often as I'd like.

In Dreams, I used to be able to just lift myself off the ground through a rise in my chest.
Once n only once, I shout like a bat outa hell into outer space, man I'd like to do more of that dream.
You know, dream about flying in space n traveling to the moon.
Walk around on other planets like strolling around the farm.

I can't control life, though through work I can improve my odds.
Dreams though should be under my domain of control.
If I can will a pair of pants in a naked dream, why shouldn't I be able to write more of the script in my dreams.

What I'm saying is that I've slowly gained a conscious foothold in my dream state.
I know I'm there watching while dreaming.
I can eject if I desire n I can will a pair of pants.
I need to raise my consciousness just a bit more in my dreams so I can do things I want to do.

I will admit a downside.
When I woke from that dream where I willed pants, it took a minute to trust reality. 
I've always had my doubts about reality but tin foil hatted that one away.

I believe that I could if I chose have a firmer grip on reality n walk with you more.
Problem is when I'm there I get terribly depressed.
So I choose to walk closer to imaginary than reality.
I choose to see things others don't.
I open up my reality to a perception that suites me. 

That's why things that boggle the minds of some folks don't bother me.
I don't need to understand why, all I need to understand is how to do it.
You do this, then you do that n you get what you want or need.
The why or how it works is just a waste of brain cells.

Anyway, yeah naked dreams, reality etc.
Just that old yarn.
Admittedly there is more to this, but that shit just bores the story. 

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, February 5, 2016

Hiding #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

You got a guy, shit round here that's me. 
N I gotta do it for zero to little money.

I'm hiding out, maybe if I look busy I can get out of it.
In the last 3 days, tore down a barn, dug a hole, did a bunch of hay.
Worked yesterday, noon to 11pm.

I don't mind hard work but my body has an issue.
80 degree temps n lots of work, no where near done.
Gotta put the trees in the hole, I don't like burning.

After that I have to rebuild the barn in a new location.
Barn was in a bogg need it up on the hill.
Hell of a deal.

Then I have to change the fence for a new circle drive.
Started the buildup where the drive will be.
That was 5 hrs into a 8 or 10 hr job.

It would seem there's no shortage of work.
Just a reduced amount of energy.
So I'm hiding n looking busy.

Doesn't change a thing though.
Still gotta go out n start again at noon.
140 bales of Hay to put away n push that brush into the hole.

Ah retirement.
Ain't it just everything I imagined.
Need to make that tractor do more n me less.

Billy got to go on the hay run.
Bill thought it was great.
Who's a good Dog.

Jig's up.
I've been spotted.
Every man for himself. 

Maybe if I slip on my Space Patrol Totem Helmet I can get away?
See there, I got 2 out of it. 
Damn near paid for itself. 

I got my lucky pants n my lucky watch on, should be a good day.

When did Burger King Food get so awful.
I thought I was going to be sick.
Haven't eaten there in a year n I will never eat there again
What a shame, I worked there as a kid.

Gotta Go.
Billy Dog just sighed n came crashing into the room.
Fine Billy but gonna be leaning on ya every so often.

Who's a good dog.
Billy's a good dog.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Hazard Bay Horse Arena #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Horses are a fight or flight type of animal.
We set up Hazard Bay 1 maybe 2 times a year so people can come in n expose there horses to as much safe crazy as possible.
When riding horse n rider are presented or confronted by many things that could spook your horse.
Hazard Bay is a way to desensitize your horse of things that might spook them in a safe controlled environment.
This setup is free to anybody that behaves themselves n that we even remotely know.

Hazard Bay will be up for about a week.
Hazard bay takes 4 hours to set up with help.

Funny thing is unlike most horses Cowboy thinks this thing is great fun.
Cowboy though is a rare horse, a born leader n I back any play he wants to make.
Boy was born into a rough deal but kept his innocence, kinda the perfect horse.
You can work for years to get just some of what Cowboy/Boy was born with. 
Boy is a Rocky n we got him free as a rescue.

Gabriel says you know whatever. 
Gabe is just laid back by nature, Fjord thing. 

The following are images of the different types of challenges.
Horse people, feel free to share pictures with friends who have Horse Arenas to give them ideas.
If I can help you/them with the how, just ask via my facebook page.
Hazard bay is a lot of work but you/they could make one in your area. 
So please share this post like crazy in the Horse World. 
I'm told these are really good ideas. 
So just ask. 

Almost forgot.
radio or traffic noise CD.
People walking around carrying n opening n closing Umbrellas.
Also white garbage bag filled with no cap water bottles on a rope to drag.

car wash waterfalls, horses walk through 3 in a row
Toilet collar is used to mount to post.

snake pit = cutup garden hose on tarp.

car wash waterfalls
Toilet collar is used to mount to post. 

big pic

general chaos

Flags are made from what remained of an old tent.




general sensory overload

spinners n tarp wall

matress for horses to walk on

big ball to play with or roll by

Hanging barrels that clunk back

Hanging barrels that clunk back

Teeter totter for horses to walk over

Water bottles make a great crushing sound when horses walk on them

Wooden Bridge

Billy Dog Likey

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Acceptance #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I can't control the world or fix it.
All I can do is deal the best I can with what's in front of me. 

I have narrowed my world to the 20 acres that I live on n rarely leave it.
When an animal or one of my dogs does something I find different than my way of thinking, I always say that that's between them n god.

I used to listen to the news till noon almost every day.
I find myself switching over to the Highway or Willies Roadhouse earlier n earlier every day now. 
Even 4 n 8 years ago I got all wound up about politics, no more. 

So what do you do n what can you do?
Honestly all you can control is who you are by trying to be a good person.
Do your job.
If what you have to say will hurt someone, don't say it. 

If every person in the world would just strive to be decent n honest, I figure that would do it.
It seems like every month now something terrible happens.
People get all wound up about stuff that has no real relationship with why we are here.
We are here to do the best we can n then be measured by it.

I no longer join anything n I do not seek the outside world for purpose.
I have more in common with the Amish than regular folks.
You want to live in servitude to false idols n causes, well that's between you n God.
I no longer judge or care, not my job.

I do what needs doin n fix what I can.
I recognize what I can not fix.
My tools are duct tape, zip ties, a drill n a tractor.
I know n accept my limitations. 

Animals bring me joy, I understand them.
People bring me sadness. 
I wish that that were not so but regrettably it is. 
I accept that I can not fix it.

I walk with animals now.
They make sense. 
Humans are to busy for me anymore.

The things I do now concerning the outside world have only one purpose.
To secure my world.
So yes I bang on about Pez Outlaw, but that's only so I can pay the debt that threatens my world.
Once that debt's paid I just don't care anymore.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, February 1, 2016

Here we go again. Hollywood or Bust #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Please click adverts on my posts. otherwise I don't get paid. clicks are down.  

I heard a Marx Brothers story about how they set a small fire so the smoke would go under Irving Thalberg's office door, trying to get his attention.
I suppose it's not real hard to find the parallel with my actions promoting Pez Outlaw. 

The blog address for Notes from The Asylum is.

I suppose not a so subtle hint at the objective.

I believe I'm good talking about what I want, just not what's actually happening.
Which by the way is to bad because I think the second thing would be entertaining.

Here we go again.
When I think of Pez Outlaw Goes To Hollywood I always connect imagery of an Abbott n Costello Movie.
Hollywood or Bust Does though remind me of Joshua n I driving all over Europe hunting for Pez n the Pez Warehouses.
Cab drivers leading the way as we followed.
Before we found our destinations we found Shoe Factories.
We found a factory that made a similar product but not Pez.
Finally we set our eyes on the smokestacks in Hungary that towered over OZ.
Slovenia was easy, found Kolinska on the 3rd try.
Kolinska then led straight to Ormoz. 

These trips were Josh n my Abbott n Costello trips.
Definitely Pez Warehouses or Bust. 
Next stop Hollywood for ole Josh n Me.
We'll find it after a few tries, we always do.

When Pez Outlaw is turned into a movie.
I wonder how the story will be told.
Who would play Pez Outlaw?
Though neither matters.
I'd be good with whatever.

Would my world change if a movie was made of Pez Outlaw?
I don't know.
The April Playboy article about Pez Outlaw realistically had zero effect on my life.
Would the effect be different if Pez Outlaw was a movie?

The reason that the Playboy article had no effect beyond the occasional comment that the person in front of me read it is.
I live a life of isolation, Short of the folks that come here to ride horses.
Even then the conversations were very short.
Did you like it? Always Yes. Huh, OK, Good.
Within minute we move on, because you know they came here for horses n the comment was just polite recognition.

Beyond that my life of isolation shielded me from any other ????
I'm sure if Pez Outlaw was a Movie things might get a little weird for a year.
Then again, the only people welcome here are a very select few n all have very good manners.
Outsiders are not welcome. Looky Looo's are shoooed away. I kinda get rude n to the point.

Other than writing here in Notes From The Asylum my life is that of a low level worker here on the farm.
Think of it this way, it'd be like people rushing up on EB from Green Acres like he was some kind of a big deal.
It make for good writing on a half hour comedy like Green Acres, but obserd in the real world.
I'd be willing to bet ya folks would weary of trying to follow old EB while he mows the trails or moves horse manure down the hill.

Pez Outlaw is a very interesting character who lived a decade worth viewing.
Me, I'm just a funny looking old man on a tractor.

I believe what happens to you depends on how you view what's happening.
Things can only affect you if you take them in.

I've seen folks who get all wired tight about Hooo Haaa.
Start thinking that they are a deal.
It does not end well.

Pez Outlaw is the repository for something that happened.
After 15 years I might be his caretaker but I'm a very different person now.
Where Pez Outlaw flew high, I have been humbled.

I will help the various Pez Outlaw Projects in any way I can be useful.
But I will never read the Playboy Article.
I will never read a Pez Outlaw Book after the work of writing it is completed.
I will never go see the Pez Outlaw Movie.
I can't, because I just can not look into Mirrors, it really messes up my mind.
I can only deal with the me I project, I can not deal with the me you perceive.

My brain is a very delicate ecosystem, I've learned how things must go to protect it n I do not mess with that.
The road to who I am today was very difficult, I will not jeopardize all the hard work.

Things needed can be done but must be done a certain way.
Example, I will never talk on a telephone. Kathy will.
I will though talk through facebook.

Travel must be curb to curb, only required stops.
No meals anywhere, except what Kathy hands me.
I need to not be away from my property 1 second longer than absolutely required.
I can't do any of it without Kathy to keep me squared away/for balance.
If you let Kathy help, you will be very happy with the outcome.
Sometimes she has to tell me when I'm messing up.
She does it easily, from others I take it wrong.
You tell her, she smacks me, I'm good.

I can shake other peoples hands but I really would prefer not to.
If handshaking is required, gloves would be nice.

You get me as I am, I do not dress up for anybody.
Meaning I wear sweatshirts n jeans, no exceptions.

Other than that, anything I can do to help.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Catfishing #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I threw the big battery away but saved the broken plane as a Catfishing reminder.

MMMM, CATFISH, YUMMY. Not that kind of Catfish, idjet.

This morning I was contacted by someone looking at a big collection of collectibles, but the owner was vague on what they wanted.
No doubt this seller is on the up n up but the number of time I have run across this with Pez n Cereal Boxes where they weren't changed the way I do business.

In the beginning I would just send money to people n trusted pretty much everybody.
Now, anybody that I do not know of or that I did not source must send the product, then I send a check.

Josh, Steph n my turning point was a Pez deal.
Someone contacted me with some really cool stuff at a fair price.
I sent the check. A day or 2 later a box arrived containing a very big battery and a broke metal plane.
Thank God we were able to contact the bank n claw the money back. If I remember it was about $1,200.00.
This type of thing happened n does more than you would think.

Now when contacted about Cereal Boxes these days, I tell them.
Send the boxes n once they arrive I will send the check.
I always explain. You know who I am or you would not have contacted me.
I have no idea who you are.

I also have a hard n fast rule. 
If the seller indicates I'm bidding against someone for the items, I walk away.
Do not contact me about an item if you already have an interested buyer, because I will just say thank you for thinking of me n congratulate the other party on there win.

Never be pushed into a purchase.
If any kind of a hurry up or you will lose it strategy is employed by a seller.
Politely thank the for thinking of you, then run as fast as you can, holding tightly onto your wallet as you run.

One last thing.
When I'm thinking about buying something, I do not try to go cheap n hope I get it.
I offer what I'm willing to pay.
I know what something is worth to me for various reasons n factors, that's what I offer.
Decline that offer n what you have stays yours or somebody elses.

If I lose something after I offer what it's worth to me, I have no remorse.
Obviously that item is of no use to me at the higher price.

Believe it or not, each of these rules came into being after one scam or another.
I've even had people bitch me out after I refuse to send money up front to someone I've never heard of.
On the other hand, I had a guy who claimed to have worked at the printers for Ralston contact me with a pretty large amount of unused flats.
If ever there was a scam in the making that one bore all the earmarks.
Really cool stuff n lots of it.
We settled on $2.00 per box x 1,000+ boxes.
Reluctantly he said he'd ship.
To my amazement, it was real. I next day expressed his cashiers check.

The moral is sometimes fairytales do come true, but you must follow good business practices with strangers to be safe.
If you lose the buy, you have lost nothing because you can not lose what was never yours to begin with. 

There are a lot of people in the world today that think you are stupid, Don't prove them right.

Pez Outlaw Diary