Friday, April 14, 2017

Fragmented #pezoutlaw #hollywood

re image
Don't you just hate it when you get up in the morning look in the mirror n this is what you see.

Pez Outlaw
Days of Fragmentation 

Touching reality for verification
Wondering how much is real 
Hoping for a way back

Tragedy
Minimization
Perspective

Live day to day
Was today a good day
That's enough

Release control
Understand, be patient
Don't add to the problem

This is about so many things.
Enough, I'm going somewhere else.

******************************************************


My entire life has been one long trip down a rabbit hole.
I'm hoping the end is near.

There is no end game here at the Asylum only reflection.
By itself a contradiction as I avoid mirrors.

After writing about being a Catatonic in a Mental Institution, creating and living in this world for my amusement.
I explained to Kathy, I just like to take a thought n play it out.

I've also referred to the Asylum posts as wandering around in the darkened cavern of my brain, picking up scraps of thoughts n seeing where they go.
Notes From the Asylum is a self reflective exercise, nothing in good taste is off limits.
I really enjoy sharing perspective.
I enjoy a good story.
I like to create from nothing n see where it goes.

Yes, Notes From The Asylum has a lot to do with the person of Pez Outlaw.
It's just a thought, but I would think that the script writer would find the Asylum a rich resource as to the mind behind the adventure that became Pez Outlaw.

You know like say I'm an actor cast to play the part of Pez Outlaw.
I go to the director n say, hey coach what's my motivation, what makes this guy tick?
Well there you go, all the director has to do is give the actor a homework assignment of reading Notes From The Asylum.

The Asylum gives any wood-be actor playing Pez Outlaw insight as to the mind of Pez Outlaw.
Like that whole decade long journey of Pez Outlaw was a very weird undertaking, Why wasn't it viewed as weird even to him?
Voila, Notes From The Asylum, for insight.

I believe n hope that parts of the following are no longer true.

I have almost 15,000 hours into the Pez Outlaw project. 
At least 4 hrs per day for over 10 years, actually writing Pez Outlaw Diary, blogging about it n now Notes From The Asylum.

Yet on at least 6 occasions I believe I have tried to sabotage it.
Why?
It's easier to fail than to succeed.
It's easier to do a known than enter an unknown.
It's easier to fight than to win. Maybe I don't know how to handle victory, but I love the fight.
Maybe I don't think I deserve to win.
I have major trust issues.
Pez Outlaw Diary is my baby, possessive.
Finally if you ever allow a decades work to make it to the point where it's judged, you might fail. A part of you would prefer not to ever know that answer.

In short, sorry.
I'm trying real hard.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt




 

Pez Outlaw Diary



No comments:

Post a Comment