Wednesday, December 23, 2015

But Wait, There's More. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw


Have you ever seen the guy on TV who for whatever reason his job has him around women in Bikini's. The guy looks at the camera n says, "I love my Job".
That's me out driving around on my tractor in 6 inches of mud, I love my job. 

I can be outside doing chores getting a bit tired, get on the tractor n start moving poo n my energy returns.
Like I've told you. I used to be a Jeep man, now I'm a tractor man.

Once a week doing chores with Billy Dog n Po an idea will start taking form in my head.
Problem is that there is no freedom until I can get back in here and write it down. Only then can my mind move on.
So we go from yesterday where my brain was fried n I sucked to this. WELCOME!

I know you've heard the phase less is more. Well so have I, actually I've had it said to me in one form or another so often that I thought maybe it was coined for use in my presence.

Kathy is always giving me the nod, hand signals or flat out OK moving on.

That's why when Jeff Maysh said are you ready for what's about to happen it kinda took me by surprise. The idea that folks might go crazy about me n actually want to talk to me or wonder what I think?

You see for a long time now in public I'm that homeless person on the curb with the coffee cup.
People avoid eye contact in a hope that if they don't look at me I won't try to talk to them.
Seriously all I need is the sign "Will Work For Food" and a busy intersection.
I'm that guy. What I'm not is the guy anybody willingly wants to talk to.

So Jeff Maysh, Am I ready for people to be swarming me wanting to talk to me n take my picture.
The real question is Jeff, Are they ready to talk to Me?
Oh by the way "Pictures Are Forbidden". I'm kinda one of those folks that thinks if you take a picture of me, you steal a piece of my soul.
People try taking pictures but my hand goes up like a perp walk.
Some guy who came here wanted to take a picture of me on my tractor. He said, Why not it's just a picture. He got my back and a FIRM NO!

But you know othern that, whatever if you think that's actually what you really want.
It would be different to talk to people who are under the missread that they really want to hear it.
Topsy Tervy World. Cats marrying Dogs, The apocalypse is here.

My large bolt cutters arrived today.
The postal lady n I were laughing at how they'd only be good for robbing small banks. 
Stop it, that was a joke.
My new bolt cutters are for cutting snow chains to the size I need on my tractors rear tires. 

Unwrapped Bolt cutters n they are awesome, just like the ones SWAT Teams use on TV.
They were only $50.00 but saw that they were on Sears for 79.95 regularly $150.00.
Too Cool. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Cranky Old Bastard ALERT! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

What do you think, should old men have "Cranky Old Bastard ALERT!" warning labels?


Dogs n Horses Yes but No Children Allowed.
I don't know why I should have to keep saying this, but apparently I do.

I will not follow anyone on twitter whose page image is a picture of a child.
To me it goes beyond not being in good taste.
I'm a 64 year old man. If the image on your twitter page does not at least look 20, I can not follow you back.

If your homepage image is of a horse or a dog, no problem.
If your home page image is of a child, No.

I also can not follow back any page on facebook or twitter that's in Arabic.
I  have no idea what's being said and I just can not take the chance.

Oh yeah n no porn or excessive cursing. 
Yes I screen each persons page that follows me.

I also shy away from advert pages. Like buy follower pages.
Only real people please.  No Twitter Follower Farms.

Oh yeah there's one other type of page I do not follow back because it's a waste of time.
When I screen your page one of the first things I check is the ratio of follows to followers.
If you follow say 50 people but have 2,000 followers, I will not waste my time with a follow back.
You are just going to remove your follow after the follow back is given.

Other than that though I try to follow back any real people that follow me on twitter or facebook,
After I screen your page.

I will also admit to being confused by the huge number of twenty-something young women that follow me on twitter. 
My home page image:

If you're a twenty-something woman, why on earth would you follow that?

Somebody is cranky this morning?
Is there such a thing as cranky tweeting?

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Saturday, December 12, 2015

Domo Arigato Mr Roboto #pezoutlaw #hollywood


Robot Unrest
The time has come at last
To throw away this mask
Now everyone can see
My true identity.

Styx


Yesterday I spent the afternoon on the tenuously high end of reality.
I don't know about your world, but this happens occasionally in mine.
Times when you grip with all your might to hang on, because things are a bit jittery.

I'm not complaining because so far I've always won.
Though because of this I take it very personal when my reality is questioned. 
I take it especially personal when an artificial intelligence questions my existence.

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" is your Benzedrine, uh-huh / I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed / I thought I'd pegged you an idiot's dream. R.E.M.


Am I a self aware robot that nobody bothered to inform of his status?
Like it's not hard enough hanging on to reality.
Having a machine question your existence hardly helps.

I fear the day has come n gone, machines have taken over.
Now my existence is questioned by a machine.
Why must I keep proving to twitter that I'm a real person n not a robot? 

Would a robot use poor grammar n misspell this many words?
Of course he would,
to trick you......
What? Wait.


OK. If I were a robot, could I do this?
Oh, right not a video. 
Trust me, it was indisputable proof of life.

Thank God for Slovakia, almost 1,000 views of Notes From The Asylum in 24hrs.
At least Slovakia believes I'm real n not a robot.

My twitter account was just locked again.
If you are not allowed to vigorously promote your work on twitter, what exactly is the point of twitter.

It would appear that my dedicated efforts to promote Notes From The Asylum n Pez Outlaw Diary are verboten on twitter. 
Very puzzling, because if promoting my projects is not allowed on twitter, then quite honestly twitter is of no use or purpose to me.

I look at all the stupidity on twitter like porn, the grotesque, scams, radicals etc n promoting my work is where they draw the line? 

So now I'm expected to go through twitters procedures of gettin my hand slapped to get back on twitter.
Why, so they can lock my account again if I try to promote Pez Outlaw Diary again.

What's the point? 

Truth. 
My activities make twitter think that I'm a robot because of the huge number of posts n how rapidly I put them up.
I know it's sick, but I take that as a compliment.
Kathy says I might wanna reconsider my actions.
BIG, Laugh. 

HEY! Maybe I am a Robot.
Domo Arigato.
Wikipedia - a Japanese phrase meaning "Thanks a lot" or "Thank you very much".

Bumberdumpkin. In my head, had to take it out.

DEAD ROBOT.
Dead Robot
Between 2 Ferns

between fern n vern - heard he might play me in the movie.
You know, like if you have a friend whose really into something n next thing you know so are you.
Puddy (dog) is so into squirrels that now so are Pinky n Bill (dogs).

Flip The Script

Pez Outlaw $4.5 Million Dollar Man

It just occurred to me that I actually spent $4.5 Million creating the Pez Outlaw story.
Stated differently, The Pez Outlaw story cost me 4.5 million dollars.
Yes I lost the $4.5 million because of Fraud due to Breach of Implied Contract by Pez Corporation.
Bottom Line though on a personal level My Pez Outlaw adventures had a price tag of $4.5 Million.

Kinda a sobering thought.
Pez Outlaw, the 4.5 Million Dollar Man.
Does that make Pez Outlaw the Walmart of Million Dollar Men?
Kathy barely laughed, must be it's funnier in my head.
 



Tin Foil Hat Enthusiast. 

I've never met a conspiracy theory that I didn't find at least interesting or humorous.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


 





Sunday, December 6, 2015

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub #pezoutlaw #hollywood

 Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.
I think somebody has hacked my computer, because it won't turn off n is on when I come in in the morning.
Know what, Who Cares.
Maybe they will have better luck with my life. 

When reality sucks, I go elsewhere.
Not a clue what I'm doing, but why should that stop me.
Most things I do require a leap of faith.

Starting to feel like I'm allowed to speak as long as I remain Obscure. #youknow

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Think of the above phrase like magic words, spoken before something amazing happens.
Not so amazingly.

Before you get all shirty on me, I am a redneck, so you know, I can say that. 
I've earned my redneck stripes over the last 15 years n a lifetime of making do.
Remember me, I'm the guy that makes stuff outa Barrels.
see- Redneckology, The Barrel Book
Oh yeah n I'm also that Pez Outlaw guy
see- Pez Outlaw Diary

You're probably not gonna believe it, but this post title is a direct result of somebody buying 60 Ducky covers.
Go figure. 

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Yesterday I heard that Duck Dynasty was ending after this season.
I went on twitter to get more info.
That was my first mistake, the amount of vitriol against Duck Dynasty was amazing.
The hatred was palpable, I just don't understand it.

Duck Dynasty as represented by the Robertson family could only be described as decent nice people.
The hatred displayed by folks on twitter was very surprising. 
Don't they finally understand that middle America is fed up with being dismissed n vilified as racist etc.
The litany of angry words used to dismiss, discount n invalidate what by the results of the recent election is mind boggling.
This country is not just the East n West coast, the sooner people realize it, the better off we will all be.
 
 
Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Most peculiar, Most peculiar.
Last year I wrote a post called Buck Up Buttercup #pezoutlaw 
Today I hear that a Suck it up Buttercup Bill has been written by an Iowa Lawmaker in the state legislature. 
Coincidence, I don't think so.

I think this bill is in direct result of my recent campaign for President.


Even though my presidential bid was unsuccessful, I think that we set the agenda for the country.
Boilerplate, rhetoric, Blah, Blah, Blah.

I have to be careful with what I say, my twitter account has already been suspended twice.
With recent news that twitter is suspending people for political reasons, I don't want to be caught in the dragnet.

By the way, What is the Alt Right n the Alt Left?
Never heard these phases till this year.
Are they poll tested slurs?

Seems like none of us know who or what we are until we are labeled with a slur by somebody else.

I will not be posting previous 2 paragraphs on twitter, because of you know, Right..

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

I was looking on ebay yesterday n somebody was selling freshly washed used granny panties.
Ok so not the Japanese thing, which we will not talk about, but just did.

Selling used underwear.
I always thought there was an unwritten rule about selling used items n underwear were like paper towels.
Once you use underwear they are dead to anyone else.

My new chore coat 




which I love is used, but underwear, no way am I gonna wear somebody elses.
Secret, I actually don't wear the damn things, haven't for 46 years.
Underwear seem kinda pointless to me.

Seriously dude. TMI, TMI!
You really don't have to share everything.

Excellent example of opposing voices in my head.





Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Walk away from that one Bubba, OK watch me.

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT.
The following was an independent post that did not achieve the minimum required views.

 
Pez Outlaw The Book #pezoutlaw #hollywood


America is ready for a story of the struggle of an individual.
Someone who fights back from the ashes of his dreams.


To me the book would be 1/3 the decade of travel buying n selling Pez / the success. 
Then the middle 1/3 the struggle of the fighting my way back. the phone calls of bill collectors. Selling everything of value, including Kathy's wedding ring to pay bills. 
Coming ever so close to losing our home. 
Then the years of  Writing Pez Outlaw diary n promoting it.


The final 1/3 of the story would be the day jeff contacted me. 
The behind the scenes journey we've been on n then finally the movie within the movie. 
We show me watching them making the movie that people are at that moment watching.

The cry against oppression. 
Pez Outlaws story shows that on a personal level. 
Middle America would love to read n watch a story about someone fighting back. 
Alone, nobody except himself believing that he can do it. 
It's a story of hope, perseverance n belief in ones self.

Who knows how good any of this is.

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Yeah right Billy Dog would just watch a Fox in her yard.

Just STUPID!
When will people learn.
Wild animals are Wild Animals.
Everything is cute until it's not.
Eventually a Wild Animal slips up n trained means nothing.

Just ask those guys that had the Big Cats in Las Vegas.

Roy Horn Tiger Attack - YouTube

Tiger That Mauled Siegfried & Roy Magician Dies at 17
Human stupidity always ends badly for the animal.

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.
Brother Can You Spare Me Some Time? #pezoutlaw #hollywood 

When did I become Uncle Dewey?
Nuf said.

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.
Slovakia, Pez Outlaw World Premiere, Why Not?
It's not like Notes From The Asylum is reality based.


If there was a Pez Outlaw Movie, would or should there be a big premiere in Slovakia with a personal appearance by Pez Outlaw?

I bring this up because to date approx 1/2 of the views of Notes From The Asylum are from Slovakia. 

You would think that the largest following for Pez Outlaw outside the US would be Hungary since that's where a lot of it took place.

Nope, Slovakia?????
Very puzzling.

Overall Slovakia comes in at approx 1/2 of my views.
A micro view of views say over the last 3 to 6 months is 2x.
About double the views over the last few months have been from Slovakia over US views.

I guess Pez Outlaw is just an obscure country singer whose making it big in Slovakia.
I don't have to understand it, I'm just thankful. 


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary






Saturday, December 5, 2015

gigglebot 2000 #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I followed a squirrel on twitter Today.
It was the polite thing to do.

If this moment, the day I was born and the day I die are indistinguishable.
It brings up the possibility that "reality" is just another form of dream state.
Toying with that thought lately, wondering how to control events better.

It's that recent notion that time is actually different than we perceive it.
I wonder if we create the obstacles we think that we must overcome.
Just trying to think if there's a way to rewrite my script.

To that thought I'm making some changes.
New cover and personal images.
I want to brighten things up with a more positive feel.
I realized lately that I instinctively avoid dark presentations on the internet, then came the dawn that I was presenting myself exactly in the manner that I avoid.
Well then, possibly we better change that.
If you have any other suggestions you can contact me on twitter 

Pez Outlaw, sj glew

@pezoutlaw





Laughter
Kathy on her knees giggling so hard that I feared she was having a stroke.

24hrs earlier
Prepped a lunchbox and put it on the tailgate of the truck for Terry our postal lady to pick up.
Unfortunately Kathy had to go to Meijers before Terry got here.
I went outside just in time to see the box going down the road, very soon to be on the side of the road somewhere.

Next day
Re-Packed the lunchbox again and placed it on the ground at the entrance to the garage in an effort to avoid a repeat of yesterday.
Kathy promptly drove over the package.
Terry pulls in and Kathy is on her knees uncontrollably giggling about it.

2 down, 4 to go
I repacked a new box
3rd times the charm, right.

2 days later
Terry our postal lady or as the dogs call her Aunt Terry texts us.
A homeowner found the 1st box (the one that flew off the back of the truck somewhere between here n Meijers) she'd bring it by.

Just re-watched the Jim Carey UPS Delivery video.
Ours was better.
Neither rain, nor sleet or stupid customers will stop Terry in her appointed rounds.

It sorta writes itself.
I watch life unfold bewildered by the script.
I ask jeff the writer n dk the producer, hey guys What's My Motivation!
I need to know why the character does this stuff?

Can I go back to bed now?

Here's the difference between being Redneck and White Trash.
A Redneck hides his losing scratchers.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary

Barn Cat #pezoutlaw #hollywood

After a week of weather in the lower teens n single digits, I've stopped looking at the weather forecast. It's just to bleak.
Like I've mentioned, I spend at least 4hrs outside each day caring for the horses and doing chores. Which gives me a very good idea what the animals are dealing with n where there at in that battle.
We make pretty good use of stalls as rest n recoup areas out of the wind. I can tell you from doing chores that the parts I do in the barns are way more pleasant than outside.

To the point.
We have 1 barn cat that I know of, her name is Cali and near the end of chores last night I found her up high shaking and disorientated. Cali looked at me n quietly said Buddy I'm not gonna make it.
I grabbed her up and got her in the house immediately. It took several hours but she finally thawed out.

I got to tell you, in this kind of shitty weather all it takes is 1 thing to drag you under.
Now that Cali is warm she appears to be having respiratory difficulty. 
One little thing in this kind of weather n you are dead.

To anyone who reads these things I seem unable not to write.
If you have animals in your world trying to deal with this feeeeeezing weather, help them.
Small animals should be brought in the house.
Larger animals need to get out of the wind for rest n recoup.

Barn Cat Cali is recovering.
Barn Cat Cali loves watching Westerns on TV
Special thanks to the Cat Angel, Cindy.

Anyway make an effort for the babies, they need you.

A Day In The Life

8am ish
Kathy goes out takes horses from stalls to pasture.
Everybody gets a flake of sweet hay.
Makes sure water tanks are not frozen /tank heaters are on.

10am ish
Kathy goes back out n cleans 3 upper barn stalls.

11:30 am ish
I go out n serve brunch to horses n check all water tanks again.
+ misc cold weather needs.

3pm is to 7pm ish
Chores.
Check water tanks again.
Serve horses there main meal of day- 3ish heavy flakes sweet hay.
Clean arena barn stalls n whatever others need it.
Prep stalls for overnight.
Water all tanks n buckets.
Bring horses in.

I spend time with every horse to make sure of there mental n physical state.
Every horse every day.
Next day repeat.

Gonna tell you a horse joke.
Duncan is sure that whatever hay Gabriel has in his manger is better than what he got.
It's not.
Well Wheezie has decided whatever Buster has in his manger is better than she got at 11:30am.
It is.
The jig is up ever since Wheezie stole the oats outa bustas grain.
Wheezie called shananagans. 
Now Wheezie gets a healthy bowl of Oats at 3pm when Busta gets his grain. 

Busted.

Only fare.
The stall Fairies do come at least 2wice a week.
Thank you to LAURIE, Susan n Alex.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYBODY!
I hope everybody has a healthy n prosperous 2018.

The good news. I got the tractor running. Cold weather ZERO. ME = 1.
Time to do chores.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Thursday, December 3, 2015

YAKZOW VOX or is it VOX YAKZOW? Anyway you get my point. #pezoutlaw #hollywood


The title of this post was chosen because it struck me this morning how pointy the letters XVWZKY are.
These letter seem to be shouting with there arms n legs flailing.

Have you ever received some really good advice, then watch the person that gave it to you totally ignore there own advice?
Talk about weird, huh. 

It's a rough old world out there.
I know what I know to be true n find no need to try n persuade others.
We live in a world where what you believe can destroy you.
Left right doesn't matter, a righteous stand alienates half your potential audience.

So I keep my mouth shut, because my goal is to reach everyone. 
To tell you the truth there is no shortage of noise, why add to the confusion.
Hey you know, everybody needs a Hobby.

When I was younger I thought my honesty was my duty.
I now realize I was just being really annoying, nobody wanted to hear it.
That's not to say that by doing so I think you are wrong, because I don't.
I've just chosen a different path.

My friends advice was very good. I saw the truth of it.
The more I practice it, the more I like it.
I want every possible reader, I have no desire to hurt anyone with my words.

I do take stances, but only on personal things that I hope help others who share my issues.
I just don't want others to feel that they are alone n hope that my words help.

I could grab that 50 dollar bill n get momentary gain but by doing so I'd destroy my Karma.
AnyWho, YaKnow n Whatnot.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary