Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Flying Monkey, Picapalooza #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Billy Dog n Pinky 12/29/15

We're off to see the Wizard, The wonderful Wizard, cause Billy Dog has a new trick.

You might remember that I wrote about how I built a lovely Dog Pen, because Pinky n Puddy are runners.
Well it's also been great for just throwing the dogs out n not having to think about them getting into trouble. 
That's until Ole Billy Dog figured something out.

Billy dog first started jumping into the pen with Pink n Puddy just for the fun of it.
Basically a straight 3 foot jump with a 4 ft drop. No problem.
Well tonight I threw her out cause she was making puking sounds.

Kathy was outside, I went to let Billy in n she was gone.
Called her n I got to watch her jump back in the pen.
The most graceful thing I've seen in a good while.

Billy Dog at a full run, have I mentioned how fast she is?
Leaps off the porch like a launching ramp, front feet hit the top of the wood fence to get that extra push n lands 6 foot into the pen. 
Just beautiful to watch, such grace of motion n athletic ability.

Kathy said Billy thinks she can fly.
Me, I know Billy Dog can fly, I've seen her do it.

Billy Dog is let's call it one of the most unique dogs I've ever shared time with.
19 horses, 1 Billy Dog. At times it's a pretty even match. Pain in the ass wise.
Though the grace of her motion is absolutely beautiful.
What a Knucklehead.

Billy Dog update. It's now been a couple of days n Billy just jumps that 4 ft fence whenever she want.
I'm in the office, Billy jumped into the dog pen so she could access the back door.
Oh, did I forget to mention, Billy Dog knows how to turn the knob on the back door n let herself into the house. 
Yeah, That Too.

Billy Dog is an unstoppable force of nature.
Billy is very optimistic and determined to make her mark. 

This coming year is probably the peak of Billy Dogs youth n athletic ability.
Should make for a fun year.

I prefer Big Red Dogs but I believe Billy Dog through sheer will power is going to become one of the most unique dogs I've ever had. Bill Loves with an open unshielded heart. 
To not return that love would be a sin. 

After all, What's a girl gotta do to get some love round here? 
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, Nope It's Billy Dog. 

Good Dog, Bad Dog

All puppies start out with a clean slate. 
It's people that create bad dogs. 
Want a good dog, do a good job raising it.

A picture of a snarling dog was posted on facebook.
I'm sure you could post a thousand.
What I'd like to see are the stupid people who created that dog.
It does not happen on it's own.

I've been working with dogs for almost 50 yrs.
You learn a lot along the way.
The different types of training methods.
Treats n praise or discipline n deception. 

I prefer cohabitation training.
Figure out what's important to each of you n try to find accommodation.
Billy dog likes to dig, well ok I can live with that.

I try to keep as much of the puppy as possible in the adult dog.
It makes for a more pleasant companion.

Puddy is a miniature Dachshund.
She lives with Pinky an albino Doberman, Billy Dog is a Great Dane, Proby a Bull Mastif
& Aunt lou a farm dog.
Three of the dogs are rescues. All my dogs have impeccable manners.
Puddy plays daily with dogs 20x her size.
They all know that to hurt Puddy is to hurt me, so far never happened.

You'd think n in some houses Puddy then would become a yappy nipper.
No sir re bob. Manners, you do not do that.
My dogs live very rich full lives. In exchange all I ask for is good manners.

Where a lot of people go wrong is that they think a good guard dog must be brutish n aggressive. 
Wrong, a good guard dog is one that loves unconditionally.
In a worst case you are asking a dog to maybe die defending you.
Tell ya what, that dog better love you n you better love that dog.

There is a special place in hell for people who abuse dogs. 

A special note to an old friend John Laspina who recently lost his best friend. 
John I feel very deeply for your loss.
When I lost Rudy I couldn't even talk about her for over a month without losing it.
All my best to you.
Your dog is now playing with Boomie, Rudy, Soupy, Mo Mo n Big in Doggie heaven.

There is a friendly spat about a dog that I've been linked to on facebook.

Dogs are not a sprint, they are a marathon.

You can teach a dog not to whatever very quick, but are you sure fast is what you want?

Each time you use fast you loose a little piece of the natural dog.

I prefer long conversations about a subject.
Currently Billy thinks heading down to play with the deer hunters is a good idea.
I catch on within 5 minutes n call her. Each time her punishment is she goes in the dog pen.
No more free Billy until after dark.

Table n counters as a safe place for objects.
God I long for those days. Top of the refrigerator is the only safe zone in our house.
Cookies or cakes on a counter? You might as well just give them to Billy.

Truth is Dogs settle at about 4 years old n your work finally comes together.
You want a dog with character, be patient. For years goes by real fast.

Picture Day

Who doesn't like a good Billy Dog post.
Bill asked me, am I gonna be more famous than Pez Outlaw?
Yes Billy Dog, you are more famous than Pez Outlaw.
Looka that you even have your own hashtag #billydog.
For all I know, you could even be trending.

Billy Dog update.
So we are doing hay the other day.
Thanks again to, Joshua Glew, Heidi Jo Glew, Moriah Newman, Matt Newman, Laurie Svendsen n Kathy Glew over 1000 bales in 2 days

Billy Gets Airborne

Billy Dog likes to run around on top of the hay.
I'm working along n all of a sudden a blur of black flies by my head.
It was Billy dog getting airborne.

Another one. 
I'm up on the wagon tossing the hay off.
A job I was fired from rather quickly because I broke a bale.
I'm not bitter.
Anyway, 16 foot up in the air top of the wagon, there's Billy n me.
All of a sudden Billy decides she could make the jump.
I grabbed her ass before she got airborne again n tried to explain to her that 16 feet was just to high.
Didn't matter I broke a bale n both Billy n I got fired from the wagon.

The common belief was that Billy n I were foolin around to much.
With hay everything starts at the wagon n if the human n dog throwin the hay off are foolin around thing just go sideways.
So Billy n I got fired n played stacking hay.
Billy Dog says you can find a good game doin anything.
I agree.

Occurred to me that you haven't seen a good pic of Billy Dog since Skinny Bill of a year n a half ago.

So Billy Dog Picapalooza.
Quite a difference from Skinny Billy Huh.

Cart in pic below is a new one. 
Wheels are from a wheel chair.
Kinda an outstanding cart.
made from; wheel chair, baby crib n treadmill.

Ole Josh found the wheels by the side of the road.
You gotta have an eye to the possible.
Note the muscle tone in her back legs.

You ever notice how hard it is to get a pic of just one dog?
N yes these 2 dogs are half the reasons we do not have people just wander onto our property. Though when visitors do come both wait for direction as to acceptability.
Billy n Po stay in there yard but they watch intensely for unacceptable deviation.
You raise good dogs to have a strong sense of order.
They watch flow, tone n motion.
Good dogs key off you. 

Billy has now taken over for Rudy after a 4 year gap.
The dogs get spun up at night n it's Billy Dog who goes out with me to do patrol.
Billy gets about 10 ft out front of me n all her senses take over.
Nose to the air, ears alert n eyes surveying.
I had to wait a long time for her to be ready to take over, but Rudy would approve. 

I always knew Billy would get there.
Others had a lot of doubt.
Now everybody can see the dog I knew was in there.
Yes Billy Dog you are way more famous than Pez Outlaw.

Billy has decided her job is to keep track of Mom. Good Billy Dog.
Personal note to John Laspina.
It took 4 years but I was able to find a new friend after Rudy passed.
Thing is, you have to be open because it may not be what you were expecting.
There is no way I was ever expecting Billy Dog.

OK Po, yes a pic of just you.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

But Wait, There's More. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Have you ever seen the guy on TV who for whatever reason his job has him around women in Bikini's. The guy looks at the camera n says, "I love my Job".
That's me out driving around on my tractor in 6 inches of mud, I love my job. 

I can be outside doing chores getting a bit tired, get on the tractor n start moving poo n my energy returns.
Like I've told you. I used to be a Jeep man, now I'm a tractor man.

Once a week doing chores with Billy Dog n Po an idea will start taking form in my head.
Problem is that there is no freedom until I can get back in here and write it down. Only then can my mind move on.
So we go from yesterday where my brain was fried n I sucked to this. WELCOME!

I know you've heard the phase less is more. Well so have I, actually I've had it said to me in one form or another so often that I thought maybe it was coined for use in my presence.

Kathy is always giving me the nod, hand signals or flat out OK moving on.

That's why when Jeff Maysh said are you ready for what's about to happen it kinda took me by surprise. The idea that folks might go crazy about me n actually want to talk to me or wonder what I think?

You see for a long time now in public I'm that homeless person on the curb with the coffee cup.
People avoid eye contact in a hope that if they don't look at me I won't try to talk to them.
Seriously all I need is the sign "Will Work For Food" and a busy intersection.
I'm that guy. What I'm not is the guy anybody willingly wants to talk to.

So Jeff Maysh, Am I ready for people to be swarming me wanting to talk to me n take my picture.
The real question is Jeff, Are they ready to talk to Me?
Oh by the way "Pictures Are Forbidden". I'm kinda one of those folks that thinks if you take a picture of me, you steal a piece of my soul.
People try taking pictures but my hand goes up like a perp walk.
Some guy who came here wanted to take a picture of me on my tractor. He said, Why not it's just a picture. He got my back and a FIRM NO!

But you know othern that, whatever if you think that's actually what you really want.
It would be different to talk to people who are under the missread that they really want to hear it.
Topsy Tervy World. Cats marrying Dogs, The apocalypse is here.

My large bolt cutters arrived today.
The postal lady n I were laughing at how they'd only be good for robbing small banks. 
Stop it, that was a joke.
My new bolt cutters are for cutting snow chains to the size I need on my tractors rear tires. 

Unwrapped Bolt cutters n they are awesome, just like the ones SWAT Teams use on TV.
They were only $50.00 but saw that they were on Sears for 79.95 regularly $150.00.
Too Cool. 


Pez Outlaw Diary

Cranky Old Bastard ALERT! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

What do you think, should old men have "Cranky Old Bastard ALERT!" warning labels?

Dogs n Horses Yes but No Children Allowed.
I don't know why I should have to keep saying this, but apparently I do.

I will not follow anyone on twitter whose page image is a picture of a child.
To me it goes beyond not being in good taste.
I'm a 64 year old man. If the image on your twitter page does not at least look 20, I can not follow you back.

If your homepage image is of a horse or a dog, no problem.
If your home page image is of a child, No.

I also can not follow back any page on facebook or twitter that's in Arabic.
I  have no idea what's being said and I just can not take the chance.

Oh yeah n no porn or excessive cursing. 
Yes I screen each persons page that follows me.

I also shy away from advert pages. Like buy follower pages.
Only real people please.  No Twitter Follower Farms.

Oh yeah there's one other type of page I do not follow back because it's a waste of time.
When I screen your page one of the first things I check is the ratio of follows to followers.
If you follow say 50 people but have 2,000 followers, I will not waste my time with a follow back.
You are just going to remove your follow after the follow back is given.

Other than that though I try to follow back any real people that follow me on twitter or facebook,
After I screen your page.

I will also admit to being confused by the huge number of twenty-something young women that follow me on twitter. 
My home page image:

If you're a twenty-something woman, why on earth would you follow that?

Somebody is cranky this morning?
Is there such a thing as cranky tweeting?

Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, December 11, 2015

Box Of Puppies #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Views from the Asylum are at times not a box of puppies.
Have you ever felt like your sitting in a ditch trying to splice wires back together.
Darkness closing fast, time running out.
You get there but it's a patch job n you know it.
Welcome to the Asylum.

Every month when the moon is full my old friend depression comes to visit for a few days. It may be coincidence but I really don't think so anymore.

I finally started noticing the relationship about a decade ago. It would appear that when the moon is full n at it's strongest, that it just yanks on my brain. Yanks on your brain is a medical term.

So don't expect to find me in the cheering section over the coolness of 2 full moons in one month. The second full moon in one month being the definition of Blue Moon.

The good news, if there is any in depression. When I was younger this monthly depression could last a week. Now one day into it, the day of n one day coming out.

I will take this small gain. BTW, I feel better today.
So to all you suicide jockeys. It gets better, a good day is coming.
But a fan of Full moons or Blue Moons. No.

malaise or maturity

The rate that I'm losing interest in different things is starting to cause me to be concerned.

I seem to be downgrading things that I once thought very important or that excited me.

I also seem to be better at holding down my temper n keeping my mouth shut when annoyed.

I'm not sure if it's malaise or maturity.

My mind also seems to function better. Less people running into the room yelling fire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, December 6, 2015

2 Worlds #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I walk between two worlds. Pez Outlaws world and the simple life I live here on the farm. 
3 hours, mornings, are spent working here on the computer promoting Pez Outlaw.
The rest of my productive hours, afternoons, are spent feeding watering the horses and general farm work.

Once Pez Outlaw is a success, I plan to leave him behind and turn to the farm full time.
So getting Pez Outlaw strong enough so that he can stand on his own is my goal right now.

To be honest with you all these people that are working on what I'm not allowed to talk about have gone silent. I hear nothing and nobody is contacting me in any fashion anymore.
Though I knew going in that it could be between 1 and 3 years.

You know it's just one of those deals where everybody is your best buddy until you sign all the contracts. Then, well then buddy your on your own again.

Though I'm not sure I care anymore.
The intensity of the fight that was all consuming for over ten years has left me.
I want this to work but I'm not sure I care as much as I did a decade ago.

For 15 years almost in one way or another I have been writing about Pez Outlaw.
Nothing changed within me until I started writing here in Notes From The Asylum.
I have found more peace over the whole Pez thing in 5 months writing in Notes From The Asylum than I did in a decade writing in Pez Outlaw Diary.

I view it as it took the Diary for me to be able to get to the Asylum.
Long story short, I'm in a better place now, thanks to the Asylum.
Instead of being upset about something that happened, I'm daily looking inward and reflecting on things.
Not to mention that Notes From The Asylum is more rewarding.

Well there you go, that's my deal for today.

I always follow back after someone follows me on twitter.
I always friend back on facebook.
except pages I consider not in good taste.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Friday, December 4, 2015

We're Walking, We're Walking. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

You know how people are always asking you, How much crazy you got in that bag?
Considerable Son, Considerable. 
And the thing is I can get it out to play whenever I want.

If 99 people say yes and you are the only one that says no, what is the conclusion?
For me, the 99 are wrong. 
To me this is not defiance, it's a belief to your core in yourself and what you believe.

I believe it possible that one person can see something true in a fog. 
It takes more conviction to stand by a lone belief than to agree in a crowd.
Independent Unique thought is very precious. 

There is a lot of pressure from all directions to conform nowadays. 
Very few are able to withstand that pressure.
Your capitulation is sought to validate group think.

You perceive that a crowd in unanimous agreement is strength.
Truth is there inability to tolerate independent thought shows how weak there position is.
There is safety in group think agreement, that a voice from the wilderness challenges.

True strength is the ability to stand alone and defend or exhibit independent thought.

People say to me.
They'd never make a movie out of my life.
It's to boring.

Well you haven't got your crayons out yet, have you?
It's not your life that's boring, it's how you view that life.

Every since I've taken over writing my life, I'm a happier person.
Of course that means adding a lot of characters that folks enjoy hearing about.
Or is it that they are polite about? Either way I'm happier. 

There is crazy and there is CRAZY.
Truth is there is a very big difference.
My kind of crazy is fun and full of good stories.
I don't even want to give voice to the other kind.

That was the disclaimer.
It's actually sad that I even had to give it.
But you know current events etc, best to say it.

Now I'm depressed. 
We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.
ALPo, Ed.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Raindrops fallin on my leg. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

This time 2 years ago I found myself very anxious about the article Jeff Maysh was writing. 
Though I was not allowed to tell you that I'd sat down for the story that would later appear in The April issue of Playboy.

 Jeff trying to calm me down saying, Hollywood is about to shut down for a couple months. Christmas n New Years.
That not much was going to happen till March or April.

I remember thinking how much that sucked, yet with April came the release of the story.
A year later, here we are again. This time I know without being told that Hollywood shuts down for a couple months.

Maybe in March or April? 
Well that sucks.
You know me, I just love to wait.

So to bide my time I will just keep writing in Notes From The Asylum.
Though today I have been looking at snow chains for my tractor.

In case you missed the joke from the title.
It's the old joke.
Don't piss on my leg n tell me it's raining.
so it follows, being an optimist.
Raindrops keep fallin on my leg. 
A twist on the old song "Raindrops keep falling on my head".

The impatient optimist. "Irony".
Eat your Wheaties so you too can grow up big n strong like Pez Outlaw. 
It could be a thing?

Pez Outlaw Diary