Tuesday, July 17, 2018

51% Sane #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Last night I had a very realistic dream that my work had been published. To my surprise when I opened the large soft cover book (yes it was weird I could feel the texture of the book) It was Notes From The Asylum that had been published not Pez Outlaw Diary.

It had somehow just been published without my knowledge and I was playing catch up. I didn't seem to mind, actually I was thrilled and flattered. Tell you a secret, I've always felt my work here in the Asylum is better than Pez Outlaw Diary. To be fare though the diary is one story, the asylum is many stories and introspective.

In my dream I asked if I was going to get any money for it's publication, Oh no was the answer.
I know it was just a dream but I hope I was going to get per copy sold money at least.
I'd hate to think that I cheated myself in my own dream.

I had a very large dog that lived to be 12yrs old. Kinda unusual, she did it because she slept about 90% of the time. Soupy played and had a very rich dream life, for her which was reality her dream life or what we call reality?
My point is that at least I've been published on one plain of consciousness.

I can't wait to go to sleep tonight and see how my book is selling. Maybe I'll take a nap in hopes of an update.

It really doesn't matter if you "live in the real world" if by doing so you are miserable. My dreams, my fantasy's, The world that only exists in my head keeps me going. I've found that my bouts with depression are usually when I live in "the real world" and my dreams elude me. Once I find the hope of my dreams again depression leaves. 

A rich fantasy life is the key to happiness. Things that I can't afford to do, I build over and over in my mind. I find the parts I can do for zero money then refine my plans to perfection.

Sane. (of a person) of sound mind; not mad or mentally ill.
51% works for me. 

51% Sane.
One Bump over the line. 
Treading water but holding my own. 
Counting sharks, hoping for the best.

Dealing with the day in front of me. 
Yesterday n Tomorrow can't help.
Better than 49 

Is your hand true? 
Reality does not blur. 
Only perception.

As the majority shareholder in my sanity, I'd like to issue the following report to the other shareholders. Your recent attempts at a hostile takeover have failed.
Though it was a close one.
How many of you have been in Walmart n been told "Dial The Crazy Down"?Happened to me yesterday.
Came back in the store after retrieving something from the truck.
When I saw Kathy I was overtly joyous.
Problem I guess is my display of happiness showed to much disregard for anyone but her or how my joy affected them.
To much like a puppy when you get home I guess.

The truth is that for over 45yrs Kathy has been the Hall Monitor of my existence in your world.
Kathy adjusts n fine tunes my behavior so that I fit.
Occasionally though I get away from her n she has to reel me back in.
I listen n obey because I've learned that she sees what I can't.

Let me tell you all a secret.
It seems like once a week now I find myself thinking about being interviewed concerning the Pez Outlaw Book n the other thing I'm not allowed to mention.

I ask the interviewer if it's OK if I wear my hat.
Would I wear my sweatshirts n not try to be something I'm not by dressing up.
Would that make me look like a homeless person or could I be uniquely who I am.
My annoyance with how no matter the topic, it gets max 3 minutes.

Feast or Famine
In the 1990s I earned 4.5 million dollars over an 11 year period.
Think about it. Wouldn't it have been better if I'd earned that same amount over 45 years.
4.5 million over 45 years is $100,000.00 per year.
Now wouldn't that have been nicer.
Instead it was belly up to the tables n broke by the end of the game.

Same thing now.
Poor right now n seem to owe money to everybody.
Sometime in the next 3 years, MONEY!
Just wish this type of thing would spread itself out more.

So that's me right now. Poor n wishing future riches would even out.
Daydreaming about how I'd handle celebrity interviews.
So basically 51% sane.

51% Sane is the best one day post I've ever had. Thank you all very much. #pezoutlaw #hollywood

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

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