Wednesday, August 19, 2015

4 good lines n a t shirt #pezoutlaw #hollywood

4 good lines n a t shirt


Breath of the Reaper on your neck
A shiver of mortality

Fevered hands twist in the night
My first memory

I walk with the Reaper
Friend, guardian n reminder

The endless journey
Days become decades

Dreams sustain you
Reality, a thief in the night

Footstep on a beach
Faith washes away

Tired of conflict
Weary of vagueness

Was the beginning the only truth
Fear of being right

Belief in something you doubt
Ashes, Ashes, We all fall down

Well that took a turn.
Not at all what I expected.

The Reaper isn't just Death, he's also a ruthless editor of Notes From The Asylum.
Folded Ashes in.

I'm a born again, washed in the blood, Bridge Burner.
I get fed up n I torch that Bastard.
We're speaking of bridges here, don't want it interpreted wrong.

Last Night's Dream
I was back in the shop working as a machinist, but for some reason I was not receiving a paycheck.
After 6 months of working n not being paid, I'd had enough n stopped performing for them.
I know you must think that I just make these dreams up to get a point across.
Hand to God, these dreams I tell you about are the dreams I had the night before.

The Reaper approaches n delights in years lost or wasted.
I'm always acutely aware of the sound of his footsteps.
I've been aware of my mortality since age 5.
Time lost is gone forever, so there is no way I'm going to sit back n put all my hopes n dreams in someone else's hands.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary



Tuesday, August 18, 2015

chatterbox #pezoutlaw #hollywood #timetraveler @pezoutlaw

I just passed 68,000 tweets on twitter.

Here I am this morning thinking that I've become kinda Stoic.
A person of few words.
Along comes Kathy with truth.
Are you kidding, you talk a lot.

Shows ta go ya.
Your impression of who you are can be ridiculously wrong.
So I'm a chatterbox.
Now I gotta get used to that.

I know I empty my mind here.
In direct contrast when I run the films.
I see a yup, nope, ain't that somethin guy.
Coulda knocked me over with a feather.

Honestly though, it does not bother me.
My impression of who I am is the face I present to the world.
I don't feel your self image has to be accurate.
You just have to like it. 

If I wanted accuracy I'd look in a mirror.
I do not, I avoid mirrors.
Why mess with the beauty n perfection my mind has created.
Reality is poorly written n not all it's cracked up to be.

A good example.
Kathy lies to me, she only tells me what I need to hear.
At that sometimes minutes before I need to hear it.
It's the way I like it.

My brother once told me, you know she's lying to you.
Really pissed me off at him.
You fool, Kathy is the keeper of truth.
Do you think for a minute this isn't at my request.

I don't care much for reality.
Yes I watch the "News", but it's just a TV show.
Yes I like Wynonna Earp – Show | Syfy , Zombies are funny. 
I just don't look in mirrors n truth is Fungible.

We meander about through my mind daily.
In contrast I'm a very private person.
What I do here seems outside reality.
No idea how to explain that.

Somehow I feel that what I do here is private.
That all of you are observers yet not intruders into my life.
I share the crazy for fun.
Out of a need to expel thought.

Real people, no thanks.
The internet though was made for me.
Casual n non interactive if you prefer.
One or two line responses, only if n when you choose.

A poor analogy is, writing for me is like taking the trash out.
I enjoy the process, writing allows me an outlet for my creative side.
When I write I have an endless supply of crayons n paper.
What more could a guy want.

I love the follows n views.
They allow me to know when I got a thought right.
I suppose I do strive to get the words right.
I don't live n die for it but it does help pass the time n give a sense of purpose.

I say that I'm in the asylum.
Which for me is a very frustrating waiting room.
I write to help pass the time.
I wait for word of my release from 15 years purgatory.

I teeter on the edge of sanity every moment of every day.
Some days I lose, mostly though I keep it at 51% sane.
Recently I wrote about going back to 98 n changing this.
Dreams that sooth.

That said my writing I hope gives merit to the struggle. 
Pez Outlaw makes 1998 have value.
Notes from the Asylum I hope gives the last 15 years value.
If something good comes from these things then, just maybe it was worth it.

I'm a scab picker.
I just keep picking at it.
Hoping to find truth.
Failing that, peace of mind.

This is a journey.
One that I've decided to share.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, August 15, 2015

641 Pez Outlaw Collection #pezoutlaw #hollywood

641 means 6 posts in 1
Topics covered include
Pez Outlaw Urban Legend
Will Work For Hay
Life is Funny
PEZ MISFIT's includes Black Santa
Some Know, Some Don't. Bubbleboy 
Bonus Round - ZEP pez Gun

Just scroll down to topic header in RED of interest

As long as the list of pez here is, at least half are not in it. 
Some of the rest of them below.

courtesy of  Phyllis Shafer Oreck
Pez Outlaw Urban Legend

Has the life of Pez Outlaw reached the point where his adventures are now being retold as urban legend?

recent ebay listing used the following linkage to pez outlaw to try n sell product.

From the Estate of an avid collector-
(Please research "PEZ Outlaw" for more information)
A few years ago one of the World's top PEZ Entrepreneurs 
lived in & operated out of the American State of Michigan! This may increase the likelihood that rare or unknown pieces may be in Michigan.

That was the beginning of the pitch someone was using to sell Pez on ebay.
I guess I can think of a few people here in Michigan.
One in particular, we'll call this person "M".
M purchased $22,000.00 worth of Pez wholesale n that was just one of many purchases by M.
I'm not sure what M did with the pez, there's a strong likelihood M still has them. 
M only bought older pez, no Misfits.

I will not disclose M's name.
If you are from that time you probably know it.
It's up to M to choose there time.

This is not the first time that the character Pez Outlaw was used as a selling point. 

Pez Outlaw was a very popular character, Now his adventures are reaching mythical status within the collecting community and others?

I especially like the following sentence, " the World's top PEZ Entrepreneurs 
lived in & operated out of the American State of Michigan!"
Thank you Jeff n Playboy magazine.

Is Pez Outlaw Becoming Urban Legend?


Life is Funny

What I mean by that title is this.
I'm currently buying back Pez I sold almost 2 decades ago.

Santa Playworld
I brought approx a thousand of these Santa Playworlds into the country.
Most of the Santa Playworlds in collections in the USA today were brought into the USA by Pez Outlaw.

This one is signed by Pez Outlaw

I just bought back 65 Pez Pal Girls so I can sign them for sale on ebay.

The Pez Pal Boys I bought from another fellow.
Slovenia 4.9 stem

I musta smuggle around 1,2000 Pez Pal girls n 1,200 Pez Pal Boys into the USA from Hungary n Slovenia.

The guy with the girls told me he had a lot of my stuff n he wants to get out.

 Had to tell him I can only buy in bits due to poverty.

The following items are for folks like me on a limited budget but would like a Pez Outlaw signature on one of the pez smuggled in in the 1990s.
I will post these Garfield w/big teeth on ebay at $5.50ea + $3.00 shipping.

If all you want is a Pez Outlaw signature on a Pez Dispenser, "This Bud's For You".

This is all done to help pay the per year Horse Feed bill of $15,000.00
Like I told everybody on facebook.



I need more MISFITS n Crystals to sign n sell.
Problem is I can only pay $2.00 for Crystals n $3.00 ea for Misfits.

It just occurred to me while doing chores.
Somebody at some point will probably forge Pez Outlaw on Pez To sell.
You know how I like posting SOLD! John Smith etc.
Print a copy of the sold post for your item to show yours is legit.

I just bought the above group of Pez on ebay.
I will be signing these pez for sale on ebay very soon.

Like this. Pinky Misfit on ebay Tomorrow

N this one David W. Both sold very quickly to Heather Johnson n
Bob Bernacki thanks to both of you.

I feel very fortunate to have gotten this group because of the significant role that they played in Pez Outlaw history.
Kooky Zoo were one of the groups that I brought into the USA from Europe in the 1990s.
Later in 1997-98 the Kooky Zoo were one of the groups I selected for the Crystal Project.
The first Crystals were conceived n ordered by Pez Outlaw, including the name Crystals that you use to describe them.

Interesting fact.
The difficulty of using clear plastic for Pez was one of the roadblocks I faced when I concieved the idea of the Crystals. 
The Hippo n crocodile I will be selling in this group has a pretty good size air bubble in his nose, making him significant in the history of Crystals.
Crystals have now been done to death, so the fact of the difficulty I had getting them made is now forgotten.
To me that makes this Hippo n crocodile Clear Crystal original a mile marker in there history.


above 4 Crystal Kooky Zoo are examples from the original concept of Crystal Pez created by Pez Outlaw

After I introduced the Clear Crystal Kooky Zoo n Ghosts, Hungary did the multi color Kooky Zoo which I also brought into the USA. see below

For what it's worth I also initiated Glow In the Dark Pez at the same time.

Also included in this group were 2 of the Holiday Colors/Misfits (Pinky n David W.).
I will be signing these also as I now consider the Misfits which were the copies of the Holiday colors also my Pez.
It's simple Copies of my product or derivatives are my product.
So every Crystal or Glow in the Dark Pez ever made I consider My Children as my idea created them.

If you had been in the room when I proposed Crystal n Glow in the Dark Pez you would realize the resistance I got to these ideas.
I honestly don't believe you'd have ever seen Crystal or Glow in the Dark Pez if I had not conceived n championed the idea with my own money.

I gotta tell you something.
I love the name Crystals n I'm very glad that you all accepted my name as the name for these Pez dispensers.

Dave, Joe / Pez Outlaw Misfit Trucks

Just gonna do a very brief history of these trucks here.
In roughly 1998 colors n designs of Misfits were agreed on. 
As I started receiving  n selling them conversations started on a Glow in the dark truck project.
In the early stages of the GITD Misfit truck talks rumors started that Pez USA was going to release my designs.
I backed out of the GITD Misfit truck project.
This project was then offered to Dave n Joe who finished the specifics. 

Dave n Joe sold the Misfit trucks for a while then sold the remaining large quantity to me at a discount.
I also bought the "overflow" of Misfit Trucks from Europe. 
"overflow" = extra that was created n sold at undercut prices while joe n dave were selling.
This was the common practice on all Misfits.
I eventually bought all the loose "overflow" of Misfit everything from Europe at approx $2.00 ea, no questions asked.
Sometimes you've just gotta let things go n understand who you're dealing with.

For the above reasons, I also claim The Misfit Trucks as Pez Outlaw Pez with Dave n Joe.
White Stems

Glow in the Dark stems

I actually prefer the name Misfits that Scott McWhinnie came up with for his copies of my Holiday Colors.
Holiday Colors is a clunky name, Misfits is very clean n catchy.
Kudos to Scott McWhinnie, much better name.
Give the Devil his due. 

Granted when Scott McWhinnie named my Pez Misfits his goal was to disparage them.
My goal is n will be to take the name back n make a once derogatory term one of pride.

In my writing n other endeavors I've come to appreciate how important titles n names are.
Give a post a good title n it gets views, sometimes more than the content deserves.
The name Pez Outlaw is my best example of good branding.
So Misfits yes, because it's a perfect catchy name. 

For to long I have treated Scott McWhinnie's Copies of my product like "Red Headed Step Children". 
No more, from now on I will treat all Misfits (mine and Scott's) as my children.
It's way past time that I embrace all of my children.

My Hope is that I will be able to buy at reasonable prices more Crystals, Glow in the Dark, Misfits, Pez Pals etc so I can sign them n sell them on ebay.

Black Santa

T'was The Season 

Another Christmas has come n gone with no Black Santa from Pez Corp.
I'm compelled to point out that The only Black Santa's to be released in any # 4sale in the USA are still Pez Outlaw Pez.
I think Pez Corps resistance to releasing a Black Santa is a deep disappointment to Black Children n children of color.
Pez Corp you've made Crystal Santa's so I'm bewildered by the holdup.
I'm sure Sasha and Malia Obama would if aware have questions about this.
Also for the record, my release of Black Santa's in the USA was exactly the day I became The Pez Outlaw in Pez corps eyes. 
Pez Corps Wrath over this was relentless. 


Some Know, Some Don't. Bubbleboy

Did You Know?

This story is going to be about the origins of Bubble Man or as some call him Bubbleboy.
To be honest I can't remember which name Josh n I gave him nor which the community has decided on.

Back in 1994 when Josh n I made our first trip to Slovenia is where this story begins.

Josh n I entered the injection molding facility in Ormoz.
We were met by Luba Pevic (?spelling of name).
After a very friendly reception due to an intro from Kolinska, Luba introduced us the the man we always called Marcos.

Marcos was the test guy, he tested everything n proposed ideas for new things.
Marcos was a very excited character who loved showing off his work.
Black Santa n Bubble Man were just 2 of the things he showed us.
This isn't Black Santas story so we're gonna skip over that for today.

Marcos loved Bubble Man but was very disappointed that Pez Austria n USA had said no to the dispenser.
Personally I agreed whole heartedly with Marcos on how Bubble Man was a truly great Pez Dispenser.
No accounting for taste, Pez Austria n Pez USA had said "NO WAY IN HELL".
Of Course they said the same about Black Santa n still do even today.

Josh n I said "YES WAY" to Bubble Man n out of appreciation for our good taste he gave us each one. 
note here cause it will come up later. proposed items are sent to Austria by the dozen or so for review. this happened with Bubble Man n Black Santa.

When Josh n I got home we told everybody about the adventure, much like how I talk about everything now.
2 individuals whom I won't name hounded us to buy our Bubble Men.
Not being stupid when Stupid Money is offered, we took the money, in excess of $800.00 each.
I gotta tell you I no longer remember one of the names or the exact amount they paid.

After we sold our Bubble Men David W. n Johann P. sold approx a dozen more that they'd gotten from you guessed it Austria.
From something Gunther Leitener once said I believe they got there's from him.
Not everybody who knows things about the Machinations of buying Pez back in the day will tell you stuff, so I have to piece it together based on small statements n things I saw.

Well by Golly Scott McWhinnie popped a cork over all this.
Next thing you know Marcos's little orphan Bubbleboy got real popular.
Scott McWhinnie ordered a bunch of something he had originally thought was shit.
I guess Anger is a real motivator.

NOW! Well now Bubble Man is a Legend.
From His meager non existent beginnings Bubbleboy has probably become the most individually produced Pez Dispenser to have ever existed.

Just think about it, it all started with that one friendly gesture of Marcos giving Josh n I each one out of friendship.
Had Josh n I not Sold ours both David n Johann told me that they never would have sold the ones that they had.
The reason both stated was that he was to new.
I know I forget a lot of stuff but those words are like Johann n David spoke them yesterday.

The upshot, Yes I claim Bubble Man as a Pez Outlaw Pez.

Yes, obviously I claim Crystal Bubbleboy/Bubble Man.
After all Pez Outlaw created n named the Crystals.

Yes, obviously I claim Glow in the Dark Bubbleboy/Bubble Man.
GITD PEZ, were Pez Outlaw ideas n creations.
I also sold the first ones produced, PERIOD!

A little inside stuff.
I cover this in Pez Outlaw Diary, but I bet you would agree with me that this  telling is better written.
I believe that I'm a better writer now than a decade ago when most of the diary was written.
Problem is I'm just to lazy to go back n rewrite Pez Outlaw Diary.
We'll let Jeff do that shit.
much more to follow on this post.

Bonus Round - ZEP pez Gun

Yes the Zep Gun was created by Pez Outlaw, but there is quite a bit to know beyond the obvious.
Contrary to what you might think, I did not make the Zep gun for money, because to be honest I did not really make any money on them.
I created the Zep gun because I could.

I used to shop a lot with a suggestive eye.
When I saw these little toy guns my mind immediately went to work customizing the original toy into a gun that would shoot Pez.
Once I found this gun in a dollar store I contacted Mike Mitros.
Mike used package info to source the importer n through his connections order me a pile of cases of these guns.

Several things here.
I don't remember the year I made these.
I don't remember how many toy guns I bought.
I don't remember how many I sold or at what price.
None of those things actually matter.

I made the Zep Guns because I really enjoy creating.
I enjoy the process, I do not enjoy production beyond creation, which is why after making x-amount
I sold the roughed out unfinished Zep guns to someone.
No idea who it was that I sold that pile of unfinished zep guns to.

The Zep Guns I will picture below are just the roughed out ones I sold in bulk to someone.

Note the burring from the band saw used to rough cut the Zep gun to accept a customized pez regular as the cartridge.

The above Zep Gun will require a lot of finish hand filing for fit as will the pez regular. The striker will also require further customizing or upon impact it will shatter the Pez Candy Brick.

The barrel is nowhere near ready to allow candy to pass through it. I used a jig to open it up followed by hand tooling.
These Zep Guns have not been touched since the day I shipped them.
All they are is roughed out. All will need a lot of fiddling to be usable Zep Guns.
The person I sold them to, bought them with the understanding that they'd need to finnish them.
I sold this group of unfinished Zep Guns cheap/wholesale.

Pictures were provided by  Allen Conley.
Brent Pez Johnson also contacted me saying he too recently bought a Zep Gun.

Note to all. I wish I could have gotten $20 each for the Zep Guns, If I had I might have actually finished them all.

It's to bad I don't have a clue how to do an online video for $$$$$$
If I did I'd make one n show you all how to finish these Zep Guns.
Yes for money, remember, I'm poor.
Actually a more accurate reference since I still owe $185,000.00 on the Pez I bought n lost every penny would be that I'm -poor.

Anyway, Zep Gun. Blah Blah Blah.
Wrote this because when Allen asked his question, answer length was this.
Waste not, Want not. 

As Scott McWhinnie n I did battle in the Pez Color War a lot of merchandise went out the door in bulk so I could continue to fight.
The Zep Pez Gun Story is only one of many.
Example; Michelle Lorenz bought one group of product, a bulk sale for approx $25,000.00
Like I've always said, I fought Scott McWhinnie with everything I had, EVERYTHING.
I used the money to buy more "MISFITs" so I could undercut the price of his reproductions n take sales away from him.
I won a purely symbolic victory, Scott McWhinnie had to close out massive quantities to dollar stores etc. 
Which resulted in Scott McWhinnie's "retirement", "so he could spend more time with his family". 

Scott McWhinnie/Pez USA. You wrote the story in 1998.
I'm writing the History.
Scott McWhinnie/Pez USA. I'm answering the lies of 98 with painful truth.
I leave nothing out, even if I look bad. 
I can live with the truth of 98, can you Scott McWhinnie/Pez USA?

I'd rather be embarrassed by the truth than painted with lies.
A very large amount of what collector were spoon fed by Pez Corp in 98 about Pez Outlaw were lies.
Finally my voice is becoming large enough to correct the History of Pez Outlaw. 

My Tweets have earned 91,275 impressions/views over the last 28 days
Slovakia, Thank you for your support every day, it's very much appreciated.

What follows are comments about the Zep pez Gun Post.

Brent Pez Johnson I honestly don't know.There were quite a few people commenting on the original post. The post made it sound like there were only 4 for sale at first. But the seller had quite a few more than that. I only needed one.
a hell of a lot more than 4. Pez Outlaw

Just received the following question on ebay


quick question someone is selling a xmax or mark convered to shoot pez with a pez stem in stalled, did you guys do the conversion and does it work, she hasn't got the stem,

thanks for any help

You'd think I'm selling these.
n you know, I'm not.
I feel safe saying I have not owned one of these Zep pez guns in 15 years.
It's fun, though kinda funny.
It might be helpful if someone suggested to whomever is selling these Zep pez guns that they link to this post.

From collection of
Heather Johnson

The bottom one was a Zep 
original by Pez Outlaw.

To Heather Johnson. I did not paint the gold one gold. That I can recall. I did most likely make it then someone else painted it silver. 
but, I did do a lot of crazy shit. so who knows. 
Will Work For Hay

Sometimes I feel like the "will work for food" guys you see at on n off ramps to the highway.
Wait a minute, Do they still do that?
I'm going by my memory of such things over 20yrs ago.
Man I gotta get out more.

I just wanna thank all the kind folks (pez collectors) who've been buying the listings I have up for Pez Outlaw signed Pez dispensers.

Dude, aren't you gonna need your hands to sign Pez?

One day we're gonna just come clean n call this place what it is, a horse rescue farm. 
One way or another half the horses here are just that.
Smokey n Dub exactly that.
Bunch of the others previous people just didn't want them anymore, like Johnny, Red, Honey, Paco, Trixie n The Old Man. BTW, the Old Man is now 37.
Some it's a sorta kinda deal. 

Buy the Old Man/horse a bale of hay.

Thursday Joshua brought over 126 bales of hay.
Friday Joshua brought over 252 bales of hay.
Saturday Joshua brought over 126 bales of hay.

Let me see, let's do the math.
9 bales of hay consumed by the Old Man n his 17 Bud's.
Guzzinta 504 bales = 56 days worth of hay.
So we're good for approx 2 months.

To be honest I'm hoping something happens on this movie thing in the next 30 days so I can buy at least another 500 bales of hay to get to Mayish.

So, I bought some more pez on ebay to sign.
Like I said.

"Will Sign Pez For Hay"

my Tweets earned 52,854 impressions over the last 28 days
Notes From The Asylum now has 410,000 views 

just sayn hi to an old friend

you didn't come near me when ole Soupy was around.

she took it real personal.

we liked it that way.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Sunday, August 9, 2015

Stall Number 8 #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I don't care where you live, in every household there is that one job/chore everybody dreads.
Around here it's horse stall #8.
By the time someone gives in (me) n does it, it usually has a years poo in it.
( Actually this year Laurie Svendsen's Christmas present to Kathy was cleaning etc all stalls for the 4 days of Christmas 2016. Stall #8 was just a special present I claim.)

Kathy threatened to do it for 2 weeks now.
She had all her shovels etc assembled at the gate.
We all know that's not happening, I mean she would but I can't have that.

Actually I was waiting for the circle drive area to be far enough along so I needed the poo for fill.
Well that day was yesterday.
I spent 4 hours mucking that stall out.

Passers by offered to help, but you know a polite offer when you hear it.
Oh, no that's ok I got it.
Shit I didn't have it at all, that stall takes all the piss outa ya.

There's only one way to do stall #8 n that's with a digging shovel.
You have to jump on that shovel twice for each cut to get to dirt.
By the end of the 4hrs my jumper was getting pretty ragged.

After a bit all the well wishers disappear n it's just you n the job.
I believe there's a metaphor in there.
Lonely shovel full after shovel full, because sooner or later it has to be the last one.

A little more than 4hrs later n I was done.
Tore down my setup, Big Ass Fan n Very Loud Radio playin country music.
Because now it was tractor time.

I set up the job for the least expenditure of energy. 
Which meant toss it out the door not wheel out each cart of poo by hand.
I also picked the shovel that weighed about 1 pound less.

Forgot to mention why stall #8 is so dreaded.
Stalls 1 thru 7 are cleaned within 24 hrs of use, because they are simple indoor outdoor small outdoor.
#8 is Busta, Honey n Wheezers refuge from a real pasture, with very heavy use.

Now the poo goes on for a higher purpose in life.
Lower fill for center of circle drive with 6 inches of dirt topping.
I'll let it rise high to middle because it will settle almost 50%.

Anyway that was my Saturday, just wanted to share. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Dead Peoples Toys #pezoutlaw #hollywood #timetraveler @pezoutlaw

Dead Peoples Toys = DPTs

I have collected things my entire adult life.
Mind you not well n I definitely lacked direction.
Meaning I collected without focus.
I collected stuff whatever appealed at that moment.

Around 1990 I met Mike Mitros.
We've been friends now, well over 25 years.
I learned the term "Dead Peoples Toys" from him.
DPTs are the things that were collected by the generation that is dying off n no longer buying.

The current crop of toys falling in the DPTs are from the 1950s.
Meaning that Cowboy toys n Space Patrol etc are now losing buyers.
Which means for people like me at 65 years old.
Toys I couldn't afford 20 years ago are beginning to become affordable.

Which brings me to something I just bought.
Still poor so note I paid $10.50 for this item.
I bought it just for the fun of looking at it.
I also thought I would get a useful picture out of it.

Vintage 1954/1955 Ralston Space Patrol, Man from Mars Totem Head Mail order Cereal Premium Mask.  PIece is in good shape for its age, but I believe is missing the nose and has some wear and aging to contend with.  Piece measures 14"  X 8" X 15 1/2" and is a nice displayable size.

1954 Rice Chex Space Patrol Cereal Box = $250 to $350.00

There are pieces missing, but I just don't care.
There's another one mint in mailer for $80-$200.
I just don't care $190.00 worth for perfect.
I want to look at it touch it n play with it.

I'd have killed for this when I was 5 years old.
N guess what this is exactly what mine would've looked like after a day or 2.
Running around with it on my head, the nose n visor never would've made it.
Now it sets to my left n in my dreams. 

Wait just one dog gone minute, did I just pay $10.50 to write this post?
I'm not a professional writer, no shit Sherlock. 
But that's not how it's supposed to go, is it?
I may have just broke some rule or other. 

I might better ask my agent.
Oh yah, I got one.
No idea what his or her name is though.
But I do have an agent. Really! 

this thing has one purpose in life.
to stimulate my mind.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Carpe Diem, Judas #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Before you run away or get the wrong impression, this post is actually a funny story.
Though I do intend to get very dramatic telling it.

The Drama

My very best friend stabbed me in the back.
I just can't believe that he'd do this to me.
After all the trust n goodwill we've built up n he does this.
You hear about friends treating each other this way but you don't believe your best friend would ever......

OK, that was the Dramatic part.

Now for the funny story.

I don't lift, carry or push anything that can be done with the tractor.
So every day I drive the tractor around n into the horse pens to put hay in there feeders.

The horse pen I trust the most to drive into the gate n not worry about horses getting out as I go in is Honey B, Paco, Johnny n the Old Man.
I call this horse pen "the Wild Bunch" mostly because it's always made up of the leftover horses from the other carefully constructed horse pens.

With the horses here we try to build very compatible small groups of horses in each pen that get along really well. 
What's left over, we give too Honey B, she can n does whip whatever group of horses she's with into shape really quick.
You do it Honey B's way or she'll dog you till you do.

That's why I trust her pen the most to drive into the open gate n not fear horses getting out.
Honey B usually chases anybody hindering the movement of hay to her feeders away.

So yesterday there was a scrum at the gate, like a fool I figured they'd all follow the hay like they always do.
Especially the Old Man, my buddy, my very best friend of all the horses.

Why is it that every error you make in life must play out in slow motion in your mind?
I reached that critical point going into the gate when the opening behind me made me vulnerable n at that point my buddy, my pal the Old Man shoots out the gate.

Seriously you old fool, what the hell are you doing.
Well it's the Old Man, how much trouble can this be.
I'll tell you how much.

That old bugger thought it was his Arab Spring.
Before you get your Knickers in a Twist, The Old Man is an Arabian Horse commonly referred to by horse people as Arab's.
Second, horses get kinda weird n energetic in the Springtime.
Hence Arab Spring.

I underestimated the Old Man every step of the way.
At least 3 times I thought, better get a lead rope.
At least 3 times I told myself, it's the Old Man, like somehow that made the problem smaller.
Which it did not, he was just having to much fun running me all round the front n back yard.

At first I thought he ran out the gate because I didn't let him come into his stall to eat his grain at 4:15.
I tell ya that crazy old fool keeps trying to turn supper into breakfast.
Dude 5:15 is the earliest that you can come in for supper.
So I figured he'd just run around front n go to his stall, NOPE.

I cursed him a Blue streak at one point when he ran out to the end of the driveway, like he might take off down the road.
He just looked at me like, Dude just screwing with ya, then ran back down the drive. 

20 minutes later after running into n around every building he went back to the gate that he escaped from.
Of course I still didn't have a lead rope, like I said I underestimated him every step of the way.
I mean, How much trouble can a 37yr old (111 in human yrs) horse get into.
PLENTY, is the answer.

So I just grabbed his mane n threw my arm around his neck n wrestled him back into the pen.
I will never underestimate The Old Man again.

I told Susan that Judas got out today.
She said Judas, Who in the hell is that?

Judas is the Old Man for betraying me n getting out.
To be honest though, The Old Man n I laughed our asses off the whole time he was out because he was having so much fun.
The Old Man was just kicking up his heels, he got into every kind of mischief imaginable but really no trouble.

Just Good Clean Fun for 2 old men.
Old Men curse each other out all the time, especially if they are friends.

I always figured if somebody from The Wild Bunch was gonna make a break for it, it would be Paco.
Paco is always scheming n plotting about that gate.
Old Man of action not plotting wins out, I guess.
In life there are planners/Paco n there are Doers/Old Man.

Carpe diem, Old Man.

Carpe diem, a phrase that comes from the Roman poet Horace, means literally "Pluck the day", though it's usually translated as "Seize the day" from- Merriam Webster

Redneck that I am, We all say Carpe diem, RIGHT?
OK you got me, I heard it on TV. 

The journey begins anew.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary