Monday, June 22, 2015

RED ALERT! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Bad guys. I might be gone 2hrs but Billy n Po are still here. 
What an odd thing to say n you know, Why?
I've heard that Bad guys watch facebook for openings to do evil.
The comment was more a statement of the times we live in, than actual worry.

Yesterday I had to go away for a while, prompting the post.
Leaving the farm is rare n strange for me. 
My habit now is to talk about what's on my mind or what I'm doing.
So I posted about driving the tractor over to Josh's to do the job.

Once I mentioned my impending absence, it got me thinking about this.
We live in strange times where people troll the internet for victims.
Oh you're gonna be gone, cool time to rob you.
Vulnerable emotionally, time to be a little troll.

I really feel bad for people who fall victim to these things.
So far to my amazement, bad people steer clear of me.
Not clear on why that is, but very grateful for it.
After all when you open yourself online you do become vulnerable.

One reason might be that bad people avoid crazy.
Might be like oil n water, OK that works for me.
Another might be purpose.
I Like "friends" n "followers", but I do not crave them.

My purpose here is singular.
I write for me not approval.
I do it in the open as a purge.
I do not fear the truth about myself.

I recognize my n your perceptions are different.
Thing is in my world, I only need mine.
I support you having yours, just keep it to yourself.
Detours to my train of thought serve no useful purpose.

You wanna go on about me in your circle.
That's cool, tare it up, have a good time.
I could care less.
I only have to deal with what stands in front of me.

I refuse to be sucked into foolish.
Your drama is, Your Drama.
There are a lot of strange n weird things, I do not understand.
You know what, I feel no overpowering need to either.

I've reduced my worlds size.
Bad guys try to enter it n they will be met with a very big stick.
Po, Bill n very soon new Rudy look very dimly on things that do not conform.
My Dog's n I like the natural flow, irregular is met sternly.

Old Rudy used to have a Joke.
Rudy used to look at me n say, "We gonna have to dig a hole?"
Old Rudy had a very dark sense of humor.
That one's for Jeff.

My neighbor once said, Jesus man what are you expecting?
Not expecting anything, I just sleep better prepared.
Funny thing, he was the one person Old Rudy really disliked.
Talk about a dog with a grudge. 

My Bull Mastiff's really do not bark, like never.
Old Rudy had only one person that set her off.
Never knew why, figured she had her reasons.

There was not one thing about Old Rudy that I didn't love.
Hopefully New Rudy is just like her.
Till then Bill n Po are gonna have to carry things.
The upshot, Bad Guys need not apply.

Billy Dog update.
Billy is beginning to come into her own.
I really like what she's beginning to show me.
I actually think she's going to be a very good dog.

Billy reminds me of Soupy, but in a better mood. 
I think Billy is the Dog Soupy was in her dreams.
Soupy had a lot of body, mobility issues.

Soup slept 90% of the time.
I watched her dreams of running jumping n playing.
This time as Billy she gets to do it in the real world.
Billy is Soupy's alter ego.

I don't care for your reality, I'll take my fantasies, Thank you very much. 
I believe what I like, it comforts me.
You can keep your reality, it's not all it's cracked up to be. 
In my reality Pez Outlaw becomes a Hollywood Movie. 

Also in my reality my dogs come back to me in another life. 
Very soon Rudy will come back to me n I can't wait. 
I've missed her deeply. 
I'm not gonna play games, this time I'm just gonna call her Rudy.

Funny thing, I knew Boomie wasn't coming back.
Boomie was Rudy's predecessor. 
Boomie was finished with this world.
I knew it was my privileged to share her last time here.

Soupy n Rudy, Oh hell no.
This was not there last time here.
No way they were finished. 
Those 2 knuckleheads had a lot more to do.

A letter to my Big Red Dog (Bull Mastiff)
gone 2 or 3 yrs now.

Rudy I gotta tell you, Billy is finding it very hard to live in your shadow.
You'd have been proud of her last night though.
I let her out to do a run last night when the other guys said something was not right outside.

Billy went straight at the problem with purpose n dedication.
I know you would have thought maybe less barking n quit all the bouncing around, but that aside she did a very good job, with zero hesitation.

Seriously Rudy nobody except Boomie could ever live up to the stealth that was your way of doing things.
Proby is still Po, never was intended that she would ever fill your shoes.
So Billy is going to have to fill in til you return.

Some time in the next year I'm gonna contact a breeder to see if we can find you.
I'm gonna send them a picture of you so they can look at the litter better.
I'll tell them, I want the doggiest female pup you've got, big, dominant n fearless.
Once the breeder spots you, I want them to start calling the puppy Rudy immediately.
I think I'm gonna tell them that I'll pay extra if she gets an extra meal as often as possible.
I'd rather she came here plump n well fed knowing she had all the protein possible for a good start.

New Rudy will have big shoes to fill but with your guidance n some help from Proby I think you will be able to return with ease.
Proby's one job has been to maintain the link of knowledge n pass it on.
The minute New Rudy meets Todd n she barks at him I'll know you made it.
Rudy you never told me, What exactly was the thing you had against Todd anyway?

We retell the story of how you silently saved Pinky that night quite often.
Those coyote's/raccoon's never knew what hit them.
What they did know was that the hand of God was about to touch them through you.
I have honestly never seen anything as beautiful as how quietly you handled that.
Your legend lives on.

Rudy, I was thinking this morning about somebody I'm still pissed at n It reminded me of you n how you held grudges.
Which by the way is gonna be tricky this time around, because we now have a tiny Dachshund Pup who runs things round here now.
Rudy, you're gonna need to let that go this time around, because Mom really loves Puddy.

My hope Rudy is that you will be able to help me square ole Billy away.
I understand that you're gonna need to lay her down a couple of times til she understands the way things are done.
I'll look the other way.
I enjoy Billy but she does need a few rough edges smoothed.

Rudy I can not tell you how many times Proby has asked me when you're coming home.
Proby is getting tired of dogs that make no sense to her. 
Billy might as well be speaking a foreign language.
I just keep telling Proby, soon Po, very soon Rudy will be home again.

Rudy, I miss your companionship deeply. 
I remember working with Larry up on that High Roof of the Arena, to high to be honest.
The thing that comforted me was wherever I was on that roof if I looked over the edge, there you were on the ground waiting for me.
I also remember how every so often you'd start barking n Larry would start laughing n say Todd's here.
note: other than Todd Rudy really never barked. It used to piss Todd off cause he knew she only barked at him.
Good Times, Good Times.

I write this letter to give Rudy's spirit a heads up.
Boomie was a Buddha, her time on earth was done.
I knew that sharing Boomie's last time on Earth with her was a privileged and to accept that she would not be returning.
Rudy on the other hand as fine a dog as she was, was not quite finished, so my prayer is she will return to me.


The other day I spent a couple hours on my back underneath El Diablo studying n fixing.

The very cool n touching part was this.
I hadn't been on my back under the garden tractor long at all, when Po came over n laid on the ground beside my legs.

Po, Proby is my brindle Bull Mastiff. When she laid down next to me to comfort n keep watch for me. It was like all her predecessors had come by for a symbolic visit. In that one instinctive action on her part I could see Soupy, Cheeka n Rudy.

Po touched my heart in that moment with her unconditional love.
She helped me keep my head right just laying there next to my legs.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, June 19, 2015

Flying Monkey, Picapalooza #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Billy Dog n Pinky 12/29/15

We're off to see the Wizard, The wonderful Wizard, cause Billy Dog has a new trick.

You might remember that I wrote about how I built a lovely Dog Pen, because Pinky n Puddy are runners.
Well it's also been great for just throwing the dogs out n not having to think about them getting into trouble. 
That's until Ole Billy Dog figured something out.

Billy dog first started jumping into the pen with Pink n Puddy just for the fun of it.
Basically a straight 3 foot jump with a 4 ft drop. No problem.
Well tonight I threw her out cause she was making puking sounds.

Kathy was outside, I went to let Billy in n she was gone.
Called her n I got to watch her jump back in the pen.
The most graceful thing I've seen in a good while.

Billy Dog at a full run, have I mentioned how fast she is?
Leaps off the porch like a launching ramp, front feet hit the top of the wood fence to get that extra push n lands 6 foot into the pen. 
Just beautiful to watch, such grace of motion n athletic ability.

Kathy said Billy thinks she can fly.
Me, I know Billy Dog can fly, I've seen her do it.

Billy Dog is let's call it one of the most unique dogs I've ever shared time with.
19 horses, 1 Billy Dog. At times it's a pretty even match. Pain in the ass wise.
Though the grace of her motion is absolutely beautiful.
What a Knucklehead.

Billy Dog update. It's now been a couple of days n Billy just jumps that 4 ft fence whenever she want.
I'm in the office, Billy jumped into the dog pen so she could access the back door.
Oh, did I forget to mention, Billy Dog knows how to turn the knob on the back door n let herself into the house. 
Yeah, That Too.

Billy Dog is an unstoppable force of nature.
Billy is very optimistic and determined to make her mark. 

This coming year is probably the peak of Billy Dogs youth n athletic ability.
Should make for a fun year.

I prefer Big Red Dogs but I believe Billy Dog through sheer will power is going to become one of the most unique dogs I've ever had. Bill Loves with an open unshielded heart. 
To not return that love would be a sin. 

After all, What's a girl gotta do to get some love round here? 
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, Nope It's Billy Dog. 

Good Dog, Bad Dog

All puppies start out with a clean slate. 
It's people that create bad dogs. 
Want a good dog, do a good job raising it.

A picture of a snarling dog was posted on facebook.
I'm sure you could post a thousand.
What I'd like to see are the stupid people who created that dog.
It does not happen on it's own.

I've been working with dogs for almost 50 yrs.
You learn a lot along the way.
The different types of training methods.
Treats n praise or discipline n deception. 

I prefer cohabitation training.
Figure out what's important to each of you n try to find accommodation.
Billy dog likes to dig, well ok I can live with that.

I try to keep as much of the puppy as possible in the adult dog.
It makes for a more pleasant companion.

Puddy is a miniature Dachshund.
She lives with Pinky an albino Doberman, Billy Dog is a Great Dane, Proby a Bull Mastif
& Aunt lou a farm dog.
Three of the dogs are rescues. All my dogs have impeccable manners.
Puddy plays daily with dogs 20x her size.
They all know that to hurt Puddy is to hurt me, so far never happened.

You'd think n in some houses Puddy then would become a yappy nipper.
No sir re bob. Manners, you do not do that.
My dogs live very rich full lives. In exchange all I ask for is good manners.

Where a lot of people go wrong is that they think a good guard dog must be brutish n aggressive. 
Wrong, a good guard dog is one that loves unconditionally.
In a worst case you are asking a dog to maybe die defending you.
Tell ya what, that dog better love you n you better love that dog.

There is a special place in hell for people who abuse dogs. 

A special note to an old friend John Laspina who recently lost his best friend. 
John I feel very deeply for your loss.
When I lost Rudy I couldn't even talk about her for over a month without losing it.
All my best to you.
Your dog is now playing with Boomie, Rudy, Soupy, Mo Mo n Big in Doggie heaven.

There is a friendly spat about a dog that I've been linked to on facebook.

Dogs are not a sprint, they are a marathon.

You can teach a dog not to whatever very quick, but are you sure fast is what you want?

Each time you use fast you loose a little piece of the natural dog.

I prefer long conversations about a subject.
Currently Billy thinks heading down to play with the deer hunters is a good idea.
I catch on within 5 minutes n call her. Each time her punishment is she goes in the dog pen.
No more free Billy until after dark.

Table n counters as a safe place for objects.
God I long for those days. Top of the refrigerator is the only safe zone in our house.
Cookies or cakes on a counter? You might as well just give them to Billy.

Truth is Dogs settle at about 4 years old n your work finally comes together.
You want a dog with character, be patient. For years goes by real fast.

Picture Day

Who doesn't like a good Billy Dog post.
Bill asked me, am I gonna be more famous than Pez Outlaw?
Yes Billy Dog, you are more famous than Pez Outlaw.
Looka that you even have your own hashtag #billydog.
For all I know, you could even be trending.

Billy Dog update.
So we are doing hay the other day.
Thanks again to, Joshua Glew, Heidi Jo Glew, Moriah Newman, Matt Newman, Laurie Svendsen n Kathy Glew over 1000 bales in 2 days

Billy Gets Airborne

Billy Dog likes to run around on top of the hay.
I'm working along n all of a sudden a blur of black flies by my head.
It was Billy dog getting airborne.

Another one. 
I'm up on the wagon tossing the hay off.
A job I was fired from rather quickly because I broke a bale.
I'm not bitter.
Anyway, 16 foot up in the air top of the wagon, there's Billy n me.
All of a sudden Billy decides she could make the jump.
I grabbed her ass before she got airborne again n tried to explain to her that 16 feet was just to high.
Didn't matter I broke a bale n both Billy n I got fired from the wagon.

The common belief was that Billy n I were foolin around to much.
With hay everything starts at the wagon n if the human n dog throwin the hay off are foolin around thing just go sideways.
So Billy n I got fired n played stacking hay.
Billy Dog says you can find a good game doin anything.
I agree.

Occurred to me that you haven't seen a good pic of Billy Dog since Skinny Bill of a year n a half ago.

So Billy Dog Picapalooza.
Quite a difference from Skinny Billy Huh.

Cart in pic below is a new one. 
Wheels are from a wheel chair.
Kinda an outstanding cart.
made from; wheel chair, baby crib n treadmill.

Ole Josh found the wheels by the side of the road.
You gotta have an eye to the possible.
Note the muscle tone in her back legs.

You ever notice how hard it is to get a pic of just one dog?
N yes these 2 dogs are half the reasons we do not have people just wander onto our property. Though when visitors do come both wait for direction as to acceptability.
Billy n Po stay in there yard but they watch intensely for unacceptable deviation.
You raise good dogs to have a strong sense of order.
They watch flow, tone n motion.
Good dogs key off you. 

Billy has now taken over for Rudy after a 4 year gap.
The dogs get spun up at night n it's Billy Dog who goes out with me to do patrol.
Billy gets about 10 ft out front of me n all her senses take over.
Nose to the air, ears alert n eyes surveying.
I had to wait a long time for her to be ready to take over, but Rudy would approve. 

I always knew Billy would get there.
Others had a lot of doubt.
Now everybody can see the dog I knew was in there.
Yes Billy Dog you are way more famous than Pez Outlaw.

Billy has decided her job is to keep track of Mom. Good Billy Dog.
Personal note to John Laspina.
It took 4 years but I was able to find a new friend after Rudy passed.
Thing is, you have to be open because it may not be what you were expecting.
There is no way I was ever expecting Billy Dog.

OK Po, yes a pic of just you.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Suicide Death Alzheimer's #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I decided to put 3 rough topics all in 1 post.
These subjects suck at getting views but I feel they are important enough to keep up. 

To be honest this post will do shitty.
Talking about things people prefer not to is not a view getter.
I'm going to leave this post up in spite of that.
If just one person finds help or feels less alone, this post is worth it.

Recently I was informed that someone I know is talking about committing suicide.
This comes on the heels of a young man with small children that I know who did commit suicide.

I have to admit to you that this troubles me.
I've told you that part of my deal is that I have many voices who fight to be heard in my head.
One faction just likes to dredge up whatever it thinks will upset me.
So of course that topic gets air time in my head.

Life is a very complicated journey, with very few truths that are easily known.
The most important of those truths and my number one rule is.
You were born so it's abundantly clear that you are supposed to continue life's journey to it's natural end.

Every month I suffer from a few days of depression.
Sometime my internal clock gets really messed up n this can go on for a long time.
That said I always remember, even if the depression lasts for a month, it will pass.
That on the other side is something worth waiting for.
You do not give up, you play the hand out. 

Yes I suffer from depression but on the bright side I'm an unbelievable optimist.
I believe in myself and I believe anything is possible if you keep trying.
I do not understand giving up as a result of depression.
To me if you are at bottom you fight with constraints and inhibitions removed.

If you feel you have nothing left to lose, instead of choosing suicide you should consider the idea that you have been liberated.
I try to turn negatives into positives.
Depressed n at your bottom = free to fight with nothing to lose.
Obsessive compulsive = focus n tunnel vision on a goal.
Bipolar schizophrenic = a very unique viewpoint on life. ability to find solutions n ways of looking at things that others don't.
ADD, well not sure yet, that one still stumps me. though I admit that when I catch myself running around like Ricochet Rabbit. It does make me laugh.

I can talk about these things because they are my life.
Actually diagnosed schizophrenic in 1969. 
Some things you just know to be true, High highs low lows Bipolar.
Constantly checking n double checking doors locks knobs, obsessive compulsive.
Distracted to new shiny objects or thoughts ADD.
Depression, I'm coming out of a 3 day cycle at this moment.
So yeah I believe I get the right to talk about these things.

To people who worry about who they are to others.
Close your eyes n look inward. Figure out who you are not who you are to others.
Project that inner vision of yourself to others.
If they don't get it or reject who you truly are.
Screw them, they're idiots, be a force of nature.
Care about what you think n what you think of yourself.
Find as close as you can to inner peace.

Every day is a gift, each is a fresh chance to get it right.
Each morning when you wake is like a rebirth, you can if you choose leave yesterday behind n start new.

I hope my life's journey will be an inspiration to people who find themselves at the bottom.
Hopefully they will see how not giving up, choose life.
That it is possible to find something to live for.
That there is hope. 

Choose life.Choose to dare the impossible.
Death will find you soon enough.

The D Word

Don't play with death, you might make it aware of you.
We all deal with the inevitable eventuality of death in our own way.
I overheard Kathy say to someone, he thinks he's never gonna die.

I have been trying to deal with death since I was roughly 5 years old.
Watching Roy Rogers with my family a character on the show died, which brought me to inconsolable tears.
My mother bless her, got out the Bible to try n help me find peace with it all.

I've told you that there are many voices/personalities in my brain and that I've selected the best of them to be in charge.
One of those voices is death, not a fun guy at all. He has been thrown through the front window of my mind more times than I can count.

Death will find me when it's my time, I do not and I will not waste valuable moments of life in contemplation of death.

I choose instead to live inside each moment of life. I rarely think in the past, as I believe each day to be a new beginning. A fresh start, an opportunity to do better.

My personality has evolved, once angry n short fused, now calm and measured.

To the contrary I am very aware that I am going to die, that shadow has walked by my side every second of my life.

It's there, I just refuse to think about it. While I can, I choose life.
I choose to live each day as it's own in defiance of death.

To live each day does not for me include Bungy Jumping or a Bucket List.
Each day has it's own value, without High Octane Adrenaline filled activity.
I like normalcy, familiarity.
People with "Normal" minds seek Crazy Fun.
For us Crazy folk, we seek normal, calm n happy.


My father died from Alzheimer's so you know, kinda worried about that.
About 15 yrs ago, last time I saw a Doctor, He played the Alzheimer's game. 
I was not amused, I walked out on that Doctor.
Don't they realize that we are scared to death of that shit.

I've told you that my grandfather was the town drunk in Farwell Michigan.
I've told you that I'm an Alcoholic, sober 45yrs.
Well my dad was a text book Alcoholic also.
Forgive me but it is my prayer that his Alcoholism contributed to his Alzheimers.
If you know different, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
I cling to this thread of hope.

Which brings us to Last night, when I went out to bring Tenny horse in for the night.
Kathy n Laurie were in the old barn when I got there.
AHEM, Dude you got the wrong horse.

On examination I had grabbed Robin not Tenny.
Here's the problem Robin is a big draft cross, tenny is more or less a pony.
Well shit, Talk your way out of that one.

When I get Tenny I find Bo then just grab the other one.
Other than white splashes on Bo, he n tenny are identical.
Found Bo, looked down where tenny usually is.
Expected to see Tenny so Tenny is who I saw.
Walking downhill to get him Robin looked shorter.
Just looped him n off we went.
Tenny n Robin thought it was a great joke.

Explain this one dude.
Robin is the only one that wears a blanket in that pen.
To be honest, I just didn't look.

Major embarrassment which is bad enough I'd've figured it out but shit, 2 people saw me do it.

So yeah, Alzheimer fears crept in.
After all, I do love to torture myself.

Here's the truth though.
I expected to see Tenny so I saw Tenny.
I was not paying attention, Kinda cold.

Unlike everybody else around here I'm actually not a horse person.
I feed, pick up horse poo n talk to the horses, that's it.
I do not ride horses. 
So all the nuances of each horse are lost on me, Don't care.
Red Horses are red Horse's.
Smokey/cowboy is Black.
Dub is Buckskin n that's fancy, he's tan/brown.
Gabe is Big Ole Gabe.
Marny is Marny, Roz is Roz.
Hell, there are 18 horses around here??????

Anyway, Thanks One Hell Of A Lot Kathy n Laurie For Stoking My Alzheimer Fears. 

Add to the above my general squirrelyness.
I have OCD n A.D.D. tendencies.
I have very long rituals that each must be done so I can move on.
Every gate must be checked. Doors must be checked.
Like that shit isn't enough, Kathy n Laurie had to catch me drifting.
Seriously, When does a guy catch a break around here?

For the record stop giggling; Tenny, Bo, Robin, Kathy n Laurie.
It was not that funny.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, June 11, 2015

I Saw An Old Friend In My Dreams Last Night #pezoutlaw #hollywood

An old friend visited me in my dreams last night n I gotta admit it made me cry in my dream to see her.
The old friend was Boomie/dog.
It chokes me up even to write n tell you this. 

Chica Boom aka Boomie

People always ask me, What is that?
Referring to what I call Boomie's Castle, a ten foot tower on the trails.
I just say, that's where Boomie is buried.

Kathy asked me, How was she?
Babe, she was great running n playing with other dogs like she did before the Cancer.
Did I get a momentary glimpse into Heaven? 
I don't know, I like to think that I did.

I've rattled on about the best decade of my life as Pez Outlaw in the 1990s.
Well Boomie was my copilot in those years.
Boomie n I traveled all over in the vans n Dumbo (big box truck).
I put a Bean bag chair in the hole on the passenger seat n Boomie rode shotgun. 
On the road we ate pizza n hamburgers, equal portions each.

Boomie waited by the door for me to get back from one of my last trips to Europe, then she passed away.
There were a lot of factors that made it possible for someone who rarely leaves home now to travel the world like I did.
Boomie was a big factor, her quiet strength gave me strength.

After Boomie passed the whole Pez Outlaw thing went to shit.
My Angel was gone.

Rudie dog came along in the aftermath of my Pez years to help me pick up the pieces.
Rudie also passed from Cancer a few years ago.

Luckily though Rudie had been training Po for a couple years before she left me.
Po has been telling me lately that I need to go find Gabby Dog so she has a few years to get her trained.
Told Po probably later in 2017.

Boomie raised Soupie

Soupie trained Rudie trained Po will train Gabbie

My Heart is Heavy Today, I Saw An Old Friend In My Dreams Last Night. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.


Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The Daisy Mae effect #pezoutlaw #hollywood

At my age I'd rather think about Spaceships or my Tractor.

Life sure is complicated.

The 3ft rule.
Generally speaking I have a 3ft rule with all other humans except family.
The 3ft rule especially applies to any woman who is not Kathy.
Bonus effect of the 3ft rule is that it helps with my germ phobias. 

Springtime doesn't just make the horse's act weird.
Cowboy horse for example finally perfected his ninja skills n walked slowly through a 5 wire fence.
Cowboy has been working on this for years n oh crap he figured it out.

The Daisy Mae effect.
Inevitably every sweet child hits the age where common sense goes out the window n they start dressing very inappropriately.
I work on a farm which means the gals are working, particular work requires odd positions that my eyes prefer to avoid.
Add to that the Daisy Mae effect n my field of vision is being compromised considerably.
Results, I walk around looking at the ground a lot.

I'm actually not complaining, I just do everything I can to avoid inappropriate things.
I do though on occasion wonder what the hell some people are thinking.
Horses are about work boots n work clothes, not tank tops n short shorts.
Swear to god, the other day I saw a tank top fighting for it's life while we were getting Hay.
My eyes took a glancing blow, Ground observation from that point on.

Old guys get a bad rap.
The only defense is to walk around staring at the ground.
My rule is simple, TV go ahead n stare all you want.
Real life no, Don't be that guy.

Warm day yesterday, Daisy Mae effect in full on mode.
I'm walkin along looking at the ground, Laurie walks up with her horse n I don't even see them til there within 4ft.
Kinda jumped a bit, oops.

You see it's like this.
Walking from Barn to Arena etc, I kinda turn off everything I don't need in my brain n think.
Result, it's easy to sneak up on me.
Believe it or not this behavior is safe because Proby dog is always watching what I'm not.

I had a woman come up to me n say, "Can I hug you?".
Her reasons were appropriate.
My answer, NO.
That stuff is for people on TV, not guys in muddy work boots. 

I know, I know. 
We're not supposed to talk about this sorta thing.
We all pretend this stuff isn't going on all around us.
You know what though, what appropriate at a beach party is ........... at a barn.

I'm just beggin you Ladies, please go easy on us old men.
You're gonna give us a stroke or somethin. 

Did I say all that OK?
I seem never to know.

Knock Knock

Well like that wasn't enough.
Recently I've stopped answering the door if people come to it or knock on it.
I just let the dogs answer it n they go away.
The reason is very simple, I just don't want to see anybody unless I walk up to them.

I don't know if you'll see this new behavioral pattern as weird or just a choice.
The thing about Doors n telephones is that they make most people subject to the whims of folks on the other side of them.
I choose not to be there just because someone else decided now was a good time.
This is a lifestyle choice not a rejection of the world. 

I'm perfectly happy to chat with the folks I encounter on my movement around the farm.
Most of the folks that visit the farm would actually tell you I'm quite chatty.
The difference to me is that these personal encounters are organic not cold calls or knocks.

10:30am to 2:30pm are my office hrs.
I write, track all the going ons of my projects etc.
From approx 2:30pm to say 8pm my world is the same as the people who are here at the farm.
8pm to 2am is rest, TV.

For me things have there place n I refuse intrusions into each areas allotted time slot.
Oh yeah n to answer the  obvious.
No, I don't look to see who it is before I choose not to answer the door.
I ignore the door completely, the dogs have it covered n I need not concern myself.

I will tell you this though.
I currently don't have a phone n I've thought that maybe I'll get a Burner.
The reason I don't have a phone is that Kathy cancelled it because I wouldn't turn it on.

I figure if I bought a Burner, it would probably last me a lifetime with just the time allotment in it.
Life is about choices.

Here I am once again trying to prove to myself that I actually exist. 
It's never gonna work.
I just don't know how I can prove to myself that this is real.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.

by the way, this image would also or possibly be the 1st T-shirt


Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, June 8, 2015

twitter Spank n twitter.con $5.00 interview #pezoutlaw #hollywood

As you are no doubt aware, I like to promote the things I write.
How's that for stating the obvious.

Every so often twitter spanks me by saying, you already posted that.

OOOPPS. better say it different.

I have no idea if what I do has realistic benefit to the Pez Outlaw cause, but the numbers say it does.

So occasionally I get spanked by twitter.

If you on facebook think I post a lot here. Oh my you should see twitter. You may not believe it but I try to spare my friends on facebook 75 to 80% of what I post by going direct to twitter.

google+ on the other hand gets everything. No mercy.

twitter con. it's like Comic Con but without the costumes.

I love how people with followers in the Ks on twitter give you a follow figuring you will give them a thank you follow.

Then they drop you like a pet rock.

Just happened n I watched it play out.

Message of a follow. I follow back, it's protocol.
10 minute later all reference of the message are gone.

feel like Charlie Brown n the football gag.

I think I'm being tested on 2 fronts.

One is something that maybe should have happened by now. I think it's a stress test to make sure I will continue to behave myself. The longer it takes, the more determined I am to Be good.

The other is The trend of up to 1000 views per day of the Asylum etc.
I'm not sure what to make of it. The Asylum was supposed to just be the repository for daily thoughts that have no business in Pez Outlaw Diary, but it's success has been kinda awesome.
So I'm not sure what to make of it.
Truth is the only thing I can do is allow Notes From The Asylum to reveal itself.
The Asylum over time will show where it's going.

twitter Folks, I Have Zero Money.

twitter is an amazing medium, but there are things that annoy me.

Recently I've been getting a lot of I thought interest in Pez Outlaw Diary.

Little further digging on one said $8.95 for them to promote Pez Outlaw Diary.

On another the fill out info to join just made me go, no thanks.

So I answered the inquiry from them with. Just post whatever excerpts from the book that you want.
Stupid me, I thought that they were actually interested. There response was, That's not how it works.
I assume by that that they like the other inquiries wanted $8.95 or something.

twitter Book promotion websites.
I have ZERO money.
I will pay nothing to promote Pez Outlaw Diary.
So save you strength not happening.

I will not pay you to increase the number of "people" who follow me on twitter.
I will not pay you to help coach, promote, faux publish or whatever.
I will pay nothing to anybody for anything online...

When Pez Outlaw Diary gets published, you pay me.
When Pez Outlaw Diary is promoted, you pay me.

You want even 1 thin dime, click I'm gone.
I get paid Moe-Rons not you, period.

twitter folks, I've worked 15 years on this, now I get paid.
You can shove your money grubbing schemes up your.... 

$5.00 interview

Hi pezoutlaw, Would you like to receive a written interview about you?

For a moment I felt wanted.
Then I saw the $5.00 fee.

as politely as I can.
What kind of Moe-Ron do you take me for.
Why in God's name would anyone pay somebody even $5.00 to interview them?

That **** will happen soon enough.
I sure as **** don't need to pay good money for it.

Though, I work with what God gives me.
Waste not, want not.

Maybe we could crowd fund for my fake interview.

Sarcasm, Sheldon.

If everybody donated a penny..... 
Stop it, you're just being mean now. 

OK, I'm done now. Won't mention it again. 

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Dead in a Ditch #WildHorsePosse Milo n Ri #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Dead in a Ditch

Got another ear worm on Friday.
The only way I know to get rid of it is to write it.

Watched a comedy on TV called the Real Oneals.
The dad's explaining the pitfalls of poor choices to his 12 year old daughter.
After each example of a poor choice she might make he sums up each as resulting in "Dead in a Ditch".
As a tie in at the end of the show, the 12 year old girl repeatedly throws her older football type brother to the ground exclaiming "Dead in a Ditch" after each toss.

Fridays offering was 4 episodes.
I loved Dead in a Ditch, the rest not so much.
My biggest bummer was that the husband n wife were divorcing, yet he was living in the basement.
The couple got along great, seemed to even to like each other, yet for modern reasons of wanting?????????? were getting a divorce.
Jesus people make an effort!

Love is not the Heat of Sex.
Love is the other 23hrs 50m of the day.

Kathy n I have been together for over 45 years.
Folks I'm gonna tell you this, you can not get to the good part if you give up n don't put the time in.
I would do anything for Kathy, she requests or mentions n it's yes mam.
She's my best friend n the person I trust.

So not a big fan of The Real ONeals, but I loved the episode I call "Dead In A Ditch".
Jesus I hope that got rid of the EarWorm. 


Yesterday the #WildHorsePosse was called into action once again.

pic by Moriah, me far left orange hat, big ass coat

After action report.
Beth one of Cindy's boarders calls Kathy.
Somebodies horses are loose, running in the woods behind Cindy's.

Kathy comes into the office, put your boots on some horses are loose.
Yes mam, even if puzzled.
Off we go in the truck, neck ropes, halters n leads in tow.

Met up with Moriah/Ri, Beth n some others about a mile away.
A meeting was held n things were decided.
Somewhere along the way we picked up the horses owner.

Strategy in place we all headed another mile north where we spotted the horses.
Joe n Mac were in the woods a bit just standing there.
Everybody had a bucket of grain, but when they got close the horses just moved further away.

Here's the way I see it.
Horses on a run are in a Hyper state of excitement n fear.
They love the freedom because somewhere deep down it feels natural yet scary because it's no longer how they live.

Human Voices tend to be a bit to high n excited to them in that state.
I walked into the woods as quietly as I could, avoiding breaking branches on the ground or flinging low hanging limbs.
I spoke to them in the lowest calming voice I could n still be heard.

Joe/horse rewarded me by walking up to me from 6r8 ft away.
I'm not gonna lie to you, it's a really good feeling when an animal that you've never met decides to trust you when they're sorta scared.
I walked him over to his owner n he got a mouthful of grain for being a good boy.
Mac/horse was no problem after that.

The owner lady n I walked the horse the half 3/4 of a mile home, me in the orange hat  n big ass coat.
The lady was very thankful, told her, just being neighborly.
City folk who live in the country don't understand so all us horse people need to help each other when horses get out.

The lady n her husband asked my name???????
Now things get tricky.
Kinda like this, if I gotta say it, it's steve, but I don't like it.

My name is Hey or Pez Outlaw if you must.
Maybe I should just quit telling people my given name is steve n just start responding Pez Outlaw. 
The name steve makes me squirm, that guy died a long long time ago.

The short version.
By using my name, I become him, I prefer to be me.
Look, it's a whole thing, so maybe stop reading here.

The lady thought I might like a different name??????
Sorry not so much, Truth be told I don't want to be referred to by any name at all. 
You know how you talk to someone when you can't remember there name by avoiding it at all costs, that's exactly the way I like it. 
No name. You know that guy over there with the long white beard that has horses.

I prefer to not be referred to by a label or designated.
A steve is a steve, I refuse be boxed in or categorized by that name or any other.
If you want to talk to me, just talk to me.
You want to talk to a steve, go find one, I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you.

For the record, I also don't like being labeled as a bigot, racist, homophobe or anti-Islamist.
New York Times, Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, etc, nasty labels for people with a different point of view is just lazy.

If you designate or label me, you can dismiss ME.
Without them you are forced to see me.
If you want to call me crazy, I can live with that but all that other stuff is just mean.
If you want to talk to me, do it, but don't try to talk to me through the filter of a label or name.

Kinda got on a tangent there.
God, I hate names.
Anyway, #WildHorsePosse

Milo N Ri

This is something that makes me happy to my core. As many times per week as Milo and I can squeeze out we head to the trails at my parents' house. We walk and we run with a goal of getting at least two miles in and spending at least a half hour out there. I love being outdoors, with animals and moving my body.
Moriah Newman

Kathy n I moved to our 20 acre dream approx 41 years ago.
To be honest, we got kicked out of Lansing Michigan by a judge.
We ended up in court for having about 20 or 25 dogs.
The judge said if we moved to the country that he would dismiss the case.

Kathy n I found an old wrecked up farm on 20 acres.
Being sorta Hippie-ish, the place suited us just fine.
The land had been farmed to death, no worms.

After the last crop of corn had been harvested, we let the land go back to nature.
The one thing I did do was cut a maze of trails into the new brush. see Ri's pic.
When I cut those trails over 3 decades ago I couldn't have imagine what everything would look like today.

I've mowed n worked on these trails for 35 years.
We've planted flowers, Walnut n Pine trees. 
The project will never end.
I usually have 3 to 4 ongoing projects at any one time.

Remember how I said that the soil was dead when I began, no worms.
Well, the soil is now rich n teaming with life.
I use horse manure to augment almost every project.
I love watching horse manure go from road apples to coffee grounds.
The process takes 3 to 5 yrs.

By accident I've started a new project.
When I cut down n moved the last old building on the farm, there was a deep bogg that I needed to fill. see Fence Post, post. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw..
I dug out the dirt I needed from the side of a hill behind the Shop/Hay barn.
The plan was to fill that back in with manure.
Well a few months later I've discovered that what I actually created was the perfect place to cure manure for use as fertilizer on the farm.

Fresh manure is just to hot to put anywhere near plants.
Manure needs to drain n cure at a minimum for a few months to a year.
If manure is in a static situation it's a year.
Though this new thing I found by accident allows the manure to actually drain n if I only remove from say 1ft up, The manure becomes usable in half the time.
Granted, I like to dress new areas with manure in the fall which gives it an additional 1/2 year to cure.
All this moving around is good for manure also, it needs the rotation.

Back to the first subject, The Trails.
Ri, uses them a lot which I love.
I just wish more people would get back there n ride/walk them.
They truly are getting beautiful.

My big plans.
If I can get the seeds, I want to carpet bomb the trails with wild flowers.
Problem as always is money.
I've bought bulk lot wild flower seed, It doesn't seem to take.
What I find works are those fancy bags of annual n perennial mix with the green kitty litter in it.
Problem is to do things the way I'd like to I need about 100 bags of those store bought mixes.

Anyway that's on my wish/dream list. 

Ice Warning

This morning I had to help put the stalled Horses out after some icy weather.

Here's the thing about me n horses.
I do not ride horses, no interest.
I wanna ride something, I got a tractor.

What I do with Horses though is feed, water etc.
The horses know who I am, what I do n when.
I ask nothing in return except consideration from them on the occasions we do interact.

So we start with Marnie, strong willed, can get upset if conditions are wrong.
Not a problem in the world, very cautious on the ice n listened.

Tenny, my little soldier just walked very slow n matched my every step.
What a good boy.

OK Gotcha, nope a perfect lady.
Roz the scaredy cat, listened n went like silk.
N so it went.

To me it's all about payback.
I do for them n they know it, if I don't get consideration back from an animal when I need it.
That animal is going down the road.

Cracks me up, Ole Busta n Smokey both said, what's the big deal we've been out here in this all night.
Of course then Smokey asked for some Horse Crack.
Smokey is addicted to these dark colored horse treats n gets very excited to get some???????

To all our Horse Moms.
Every-bodies great n every last one of your babies were very good children.
I gave them all a sweet flake for breakfast.

You no doubt are noticing that I'm not even trying to write a post as good as Big Fish.
Big Fish type posts are rare, they happen when they happen.
To think you can write one every few days is just setting yourself up for failure n disappointment.
Instead I figure we'll just talk for a while.
It'll happen again when it's time.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.



Saturday, June 6, 2015



#zombie because I like it

#64 playing with children's technology
#you don't have to understand something if it works
#but how would you know



You do all this thinking as you go, Oh how clever I am, how original. Checked each one, none are original.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, June 1, 2015

The Pez Color War. #pezoutlaw #hollywood

In 1998 I remortgaged my home ($125,000.00) and took out an additional line of credit loan for $125,000.00.I put that borrowed $250,000.00 plus another $250,000.00 of earnings in 1998 on the biggest purchase of specifically designed pez dispensers from Pez Corporation I had ever made.
I made my play, a half million dollars pushed into the middle of the table.

In late 1998 I lost.
Everything I had worked a lifetime for ended.

Pez Corporation duplicated everything

All actions by Pez Corp against Pez Outlaw were done deliberately n with Malice.
The Charges against Pez Corporation
Under Scott McWhinnie's Pez Corporation, the following was done.
Pez Corporation Committed a $250,000.00 Fraud through Breach of implied Contract.
Pez Corporation used a clients ideas to destroy that clients business.
Pez Corporation used there own product to destroy a client.
Pez Corporation sold then devalued there own product to destroy a client.
Pez Corporation initiated a smear campaign against there own product once a client bought that product.
Pez Corporation manipulated the price n value of there own product to destroy a client.
Pez Corporation destroyed a client then used that clients ideas for 2 decades of profit.

C13. Pez Corp, The option is Restitution #pezoutla...

The Pez Color War. 
This phrase represents a 3 to 5 year period (approx end of 1998 to early 2003) where my life as  Pez Outlaw became an open conflict with Pez USA. 

Yes I took on an International Corporation, I still am.

Scott McWhinnie was the guy who ran Pez USA at that time. For years I had been a thorn in Pez USAs back side, just out of reach for them to remove. It was not until I contracted with Pez Austria/Haas for just under 20 exclusive special Pez color variations and approx 8 different Crystal Pez. That Pez USA finally saw there opening. The Pez Color War began when I first received these dispensers and started selling them. Followed by Pez USA reproducing most of them for sale on the NEW Pez USA website. The Pez Color Wars refers to the clash of that product in the collector arena. It was the Holiday Colors, my product vs The Misfits, Scotts product. Approximately 200,000 Pez Dispensers were involved in this conflict on my side alone.

Scott McWhinnie "retired" very very soon after the Pez Color War ended. I mean real soon after.   I've always believed he got squeezed out after the Pez Color War ended. He ordered then had to liquidate a very large amount of Pez (the Misfits). I also hear that Scott McWhinnie has not spoken to anyone in 10 years. Whoa! That's worse than me.

When I bought the Holiday Colors it was my attempt to move on from all the smuggling & intrigue that had built my company. I wanted to put all that behind me n start new with legit product bought from Pez International. Unfortunately Scott McWhinnie was not of a same mind, rather than begin anew by leaving the past behind, he wanted revenge.

By ordering such a large group of Pez dispensers from Pez Austria at a very high price per dispenser. I handed Scott McWhinnie President of Pez USA the opening for the revenge he desperately desired. Like they say, when you seek revenge dig two holes first, because truth be told when all was said & done, we were both dead.

The Holiday Colors project tied up all the cash I had, plus all I could borrow. All Scott McWhinnie at Pez USA had to do was, get samples of my product. Then send them to Pez Austria Haas and place the order to seal my destruction.

By the time the Pez Color War ended, I was broke.  I was allowed to rise as long as it suited various individuals at Pez Corporation. Then destroyed because of envy n greed. My actions wrote the script for Scott McWhinnies revenge.

for more, see Chapter 1. "The Legend Of Pez Outlaw." #pezoutlaw ...

To explain the dollar amount confusion.
$250,000.00 was required to buy old stock n qualify for deal to make Holiday Colors/misfits.
$250,000.00 was the cost of the special order Holiday colors/misfits.
So 1/2 million total but the Breach of Contract was only on the portion that was known as Holiday Colors/misfits, meaning $250,000.00 was the loss.
If you factor in roll over n momentum which was at 4.5 million by that time, the loss was in the MILLIONS.

I'll lay it out in brief.

24 years ago at the age of 44 I began the decade that in a lot of ways will define my life.
It took me 25 years to get to the point in 1994 that I was ready to make my move.
Finally I had scraped together a few thousand dollars to begin my journey.
The next decade flew by at light speed, as I traveled the world buying Pez.
I had finally caught the wave.

Everything was built on the momentum of the previous success.
Flea markets, Good Will stores, Collectibles of every description, McDonalds premiums, cereal premiums and finally Pez.
Every success rolled into the next, all building to the decisions of 1998.

In 1998 I remortgaged my home ($125,000.00) and took out an additional line of credit loan for $125,000.00.
I put that borrowed $250,000.00 plus another $250,000.00 of earnings in 1998 on the biggest play I had ever made.
I made my play, a half million dollars pushed into the middle of the table.

In late 1998 I lost.
Everything I had worked a lifetime for ended.

Pez Corporation duplicated everything I created in that special order.

I have real problems with the choices made by Pez Corporation. First Pez Austria agrees to a special order of unique dispensers by me that I paid just under 1/2 million dollars to my broker for in 1998. Then Pez Austria goes back on the agreement by agreeing to duplicate that order. Knowing that the duplicated product will be used to destroy the value of the original pez dispensers they sold me. 

The biggest outrage is, The President of PEZ USA conceived and ruthlessly carried out his plan to reproduced my product with the sole intent of destroying my company. 

Intent is everything. Add to that Malice of Forethought. Pez USA planned this meticulously. 

It would not matter if I were the worst person on planet Earth, that fact would not excuse Pez Corporations actions or there intent by those actions.

Pez USA President Scott McWhinnie's first response to the Holiday Colors/Misfits was to start a rumor that these dispensers were not legitimate dispensers. Pez USA did this through PCN the Pez Collectors News letter. The second thing Pez USA did was to have a collector buy samples of the Holiday colors, so they could be sent to Pez Austria to be copied. Which when you think about it is kinda odd because Pez Austria authorized and made the original dispensers. My guess as to why samples were required is as follows. Pez Austria really disliked Scott McWhinnie so nobody in Europe was going to make anything easy for him. It is also possible that so little regard was given to the choices I made for the Holiday Colors, that no records were kept. My guess is both reasons were factors in why samples were required.

The copies were named the Misfits by Scott McWhinnie, he did all of this in his capacity as President of Pez USA. By the end of Pez USAs smear campaign through PCN, the Pez Corp copies were this shiny good thing and my originals were dubious at best. The name Holiday colors was jettisoned with remarkable speed and replaced with the name of the copies, MISFITS.  The Misfits were the copies. The individual names were; Diablo, Detys, VooDoo Mama, David W, Pinky, Mex-Tex, Jaundice Witch, Bear C, Bear D, Pal S, Pal J and Pal M etc.

Once Pez USA received the Misfits the retail was set at the price I paid wholesale to my broker Andre Zeich. Andre is the person who placed the order through Van Melles of Germany for the Holiday colors from Pez Austria Haas for me and handled all of the shipping arraignments.

I have to admit to you that I do hate Pez Corporation for what they stole from my family. Though to carry that hate every day would destroy me. I believe n hope that my hate of Pez Corporation is a passive emotion.  To be honest I rarely think of it anymore, but down deep it remains.

C13. Pez Corp, The option is Restitution #pezoutla...

Every so often I'm required to remind myself why I'm doing all of this.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary