Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Saddle Up n Put On Your Rain Poncho's #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA


I came to Happy Horse Asylum for rest n recreation. Busy hands are happy hands, no different for the mind.
I fight tedium by engaging my mind, trying to be creative. When I get a thought right, it is very satisfying.

Interesting thing happened on my way to the Asylum, I found that I like it here. I thought I came here just to stay busy while I wait for developments/progress on other projects. All I wanted to do was stay busy n find a place to put my thoughts that had no business in  Pez Outlaw Diary . I used to clutter it up with all this stuff.

So in order to keep my main project Pez Outlaw Diary  clean, I created Notes From The Asylum.
Life has a funny old way of happening though. I came to Pez as a busy project while doing cereal boxes premiums n McDonalds. I had no idea Pez was the thing I'd become known for, my direction was Cereal.

Again life starts playing tricks. I came here because of Pez Outlaw Diary . The Asylum was just supposed to be a divergence n now it's actually performing competitively. Add to that, that I enjoy writing in the Asylum each day.

I've got no idea where we are going but saddle up n put on your poncho's and we will find out.

Allz I know is. 1500 combined views yesterday n 2136 views today. Before that we were averaging 1000 per day. It would seem we all might need to come n rest in the Asylum once in a while.

The point is this. We meander about through life thinking we are doing one thing, when all the while we are doing something entirely different. Your mind just has to be open to the revelation when it happens.

So Saddle Up, Put on your pochos n big girl panties we are all off to the Asylum.
Put On Your Big Girl Panties

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Help!....... I've Fallen n I can't get up. #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Step right up boys n girls, get your Crack Weasel Autograph.
Today and today only. It's a once in a lifetime offer. 
I'm not asking $29.95, no not even $9.95. 
Only $4.95 n this little beauty can be yours.
But wait, there's more. If you act now I'm gonna throw in absolutely free of charge..........
Side effects might include, drowsiness........ 

Sometimes we live life slowly like turning the pages in a book very carefully one by one. Generally though we live life like the wind quickly turns the pages of an open book.
I feel like an outsider in my life story while others very slowly control my fate. 
So I release the pages of my life to the winds of time.
I'm not in the least angry about this, to the contrary I am very pleased. 

It's like I told someone last night, It's your world now.
I no longer feel the need to convince or correct others to my thoughts.
My time has past, It's your world now, run it whatever way you like.

This seemed to bother the person I was talking to, yet all I wanted was to find the escape hatch from the conversation.
At every turn I found myself a brier patch, knowing that nothing I could ever say was going to make there life experiences match mine.
We each walk very unique paths in life which inform our way of thinking.
The thought of making you feel bad with something I might say is very uncomfortable to me.

That's the reason I prefer n try now to write in the abstract now.
My hope is that you can interpret my words to your views n experiences.
It's your world now, my time has past. 

I will admit something to you, behavior I've observed over the last few months has brought about this new perspective in my way of thinking.

I've noticed something though.
The more I try to avoid talking about what I think or believe about this n that, The more people try to lure me in.
Really Weird turn of events, I'm not taking the bait.
Pass the popcorn n enjoy the show.

Connect the imagery
She whispered "Kolinska"
Cab driver leads the way
Smokestacks tower over OZ

Just like ole Abbott n Costello
Next stop Hollywood
We'll find it after a while
Would my world change

My life is that of a low level worker
Like Eb from Green Acres
Pez Outlaw lived a decade worth viewing. 
I'm just a funny looking old man on a tractor.

Things can only affect you if you take them in.
I've seen folks get all wired tight
Start thinking that they are a deal
It does not end well.

Pez Outlaw is the repository
After 15 years I'm the caretaker
Pez Outlaw flew high
I have been humbled.

I can help
But I will never read it
I just can't look in Mirrors
I can't deal with the me you perceive.

I've learned how things must go
The road to who I am was difficult
I do not mess with that
Stay on the path  

If Hollywood says yes
I will not talk on a telephone
No meals, except what Kathy hands me
Handshaking, gloves would be nice

If Hollywood makes a Pez Outlaw Movie
It would be an honor
Would that make me Happy
I've been working almost 2 decades

Satisfaction, recognition, Validation
That's why I hope it happens 
A lifetime of work 
I believe I'd find closure.

A Pez Outlaw Book
A Pez Outlaw Movie
That's "everything you dreamed of"
I've never been vague about it

Fame was never the dream
I've known what my true goals are from the beginning
Raising awareness of the Pez Outlaw story
Enjoying, Notes From The Asylum.

Vindication in my belief that I could do it.
That when I was down to zero $$$$.
I realized that I still had my mind.
Vindication in myself and my belief in myself.

Somehow I don't doubt the outcome
The problem is the pain of the journey
I can almost feel the joy of release
Somethings up, I can smell it

The point being, Oh shit now I gotta find one. wwwhhheeeett, wwwhhheeeett. anybody got a point I can borrow.

This was a shameless attempt to boost ratings. 
Shark icon. 

Did you notice? I cut all the original content in favor of???????? 
Goes to show ya, sometime you don't know where you're goin til you get there.

It would appear there is a point to this post after all. Only had to circle around a bit to find it.
There are not enough people telling stories anymore. Let's see what we can do about that.
Tag, you're it.

Crazy is an abstract art form.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Tuesday, October 10, 2017

The Care n Feeding of Your Dreams #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Pez Outlaw

Picture a car going 100mph.
That's your dreams.
The immovable object the car/dreams crash into is reality.

My dreams have only occupied the same space as reality 10yrs out of my 65yrs. 
10yrs of perfection.

Last nights dream was about Pez Outlaw taking off on the web.
I remember seeing the white boxes with bold print talking about Pez Outlaw.
One of the happiest dreams that I've had in a very long time.

The people from California were actually talking to me about promoting the content.
It was like heaven had opened up.

I'm not sure which part of my dream shocked me the most.
The fact that the people in California were actually talking to me or tha Pez Outlaw had taken off.

The people from California were suggesting new content.

I told them to just go ahead n handle it, so I could just sit back n enjoy it.

I've waited over a decade n a half for this day, even if it was a dream.
For the record, last night was the first n only time that I've had this dream.

Unfortunately I had to wake up, half expecting or hoping that the dream had been a premonition of coming events.
Like I said I woke up n the 3 years of waiting continues.

At least for a brief moment last night in my dreams it was real.
That's it just a dream.

Each n every day we are bombarded with all forms of unimportant things.
For one night the promises were real. 

I realize at best if all my dreams came true it would only last about 3yrs.
The reason it's so important to me is so that I can finally close this chapter of my life.
I desperately want to finish this project n get on with my life.


Einstein n me

Look who else wore fuzzy slippers.
Pez Outlaw friends.

What do I want? What's my goal?

My first goal is that Pez Outlaw and his story becomes a Hollywood Movie.

My second and no less important goal is that The Pez Outlaw Book is published by a major publishing house.

My third goal is that because of the movie and the book, Pez Corporation chooses to make reparations for the Half Million Dollar Fraud perpetrated by there company in 1998 that destroyed my company. By doing so writing there own ending to the Pez Outlaw story.

OTHER Smaller Goals.

Pez Outlaw Diary is purchased by a smaller publishing house and after some serious editing it too is released in paperback as a companion piece to the Bigger House Publication of The Pez Outlaw. I think that The Diary itself would make a nice contribution as support material to the movie and the bigger book.

I'd also like the notoriety of a big Pez Outlaw movie and book to make it possible for my children's book Princess Puddy n The Golden Bowl  to be published.

If all the stars align.

Somebody offers to publish
The Cereal Box Price Guide The Barrel Book

That is my Dream.
Where we are at, at this very moment.
I'm contractually not allowed to say.
Yes I have signed 2 contracts with 2 different "people" both of them said SHUT UP! 

So why do I keep writing?
I'll tell you why.
Contracts are only interest and intentions.
I can't help feeling that my writing which is after all why the interest was shown in the first place will be a possible deciding factor at some point.
Also, as the only promoter of the Pez Outlaw story for 15 years now I feel it's very important to keep the story alive on the internet to the best of my ability.

Just for giggles. Do any of you remember this ebay listing from a few years ago.

I'll let you in on a little secret. If a movie and a book are made I'll be lucky if I clear $75,000.00 combined/total. Reasons; agents 10%, Joshua 10%, Taxes up to 30%.

That is not me complaining, it's just a reality check for people who think you get rich if a book n movie are made about you. Add to that my mission statement concerning Pez Outlaw Diary and Notes From The Asylum. One word TRANSPARENCY or 3, spill your guts.

The reality of what I'd actually make off the movie and the book after 15 years work and the fact that what it's all about is that I actually lost 1/2 million dollars is why......

That's why I still hope that Pez Corporation decides it's in there best interest to make restitution. see
Chapter 13. Pez Outlaw Goes to Hollywood #pezoutla...

Realistically the Movie and the book are only the means to the end, motivators if you will. Encouragement to do the right thing.
That being a decision making process by Pez Corporation that ends in them deciding a better final chapter to the Pez Outlaw story needs to be written by them showing how the Pez Corporation of today is not the same as the one headed by Scott McWhinnie in 1998.

It's Kathy's Birthday today.
For 45yrs she has been my salvation.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Waiting on Reality #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I believe in the Absurdity of life. Therefore I believe whatever I imagine is possible.
I work every day for that possible.

I believe in it n I can actually see it.

What I believed impossible for my life when I was a child has already been surpassed.
Now if I can only bring stability to my dreams.

I can see my dreams as if they were already reality.
I've run the scenarios.
Now I wait for reality to catch up.

Is it egotistical to think a lot of what others pass off as crazy is amateurish?
By the way.
My favorite crazy in a movie. Brad Pitt, 12 Monkeys.
Favorite crazy on TV Jenifer on 12 Monkeys.
Favorite Obsessive Compulsive. Tony Shalhoub, Monk.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary


Monday, October 9, 2017

Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw #NFTA

What an interesting n odd way to look at something.
My guess is you clicked this post hunting for an enlightening metaphor. 
Of course there is one but not today, today it's about the other things that give me joy.

Yes rocks float, to clarify in dirt.
Have you ever noticed how rocks seem to work there way up to the surface.
There's a point to this. 

Over the last week I've been working on a kinda big project.
Moving a barn n creating a circle drive.
Barn was in a bog n smack in the middle of where I wanted to put the circle drive.

I'd put a large amount of rocks at the entrances to the barn.
Well if I'd left them there they'd have just work up n killed the mower.
So I dug them all out n used them as a base for the drive.

The project is going well, but it would go better if I had any money.
What I wouldn't give for 5 six inch 8ft fence posts, 6 of 12ft 4x4s n 6 sheets of 3/4 OSB.
Make do n increase the labor quotient.

Temp is about 80 now n the work has been brutal.
Chores, manure removal, getting hay, then the projects.
4 hrs to mow, then weed whacking, plus the gardens.

Yesterday was stump removal day, got 5 of them out, 3 to go.
Did I mention that I do this shit alone.
Well me the tractor n Billy Dog.

This morning I got up n to my surprise I felt pretty good.
Felt like crapp for about a week.
Just plain wore out.

When I was a child I played football in 9th n 10th grade.
Workouts began in August.
We're talking exercise till you puke workouts.

This spring has been that same kind of rough.
10 days ago I thought I was getting back in shape after winter.
Silly Rabbit.

The last week has been a whole new level of tired.
You push up to the line n hydrate.
Collapse n do it again the next day n the next day.

I know where the line is.
Muscles start cramping from fatigue.
You needed to stop half hr ago. 

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate.
I drink 48 oz of water in summer each day while I work.
I also drink 16 oz of Electric Lights liquid. 

Electric lights is intentional so no comments.
I'll live in my world, you live in yours.
My ways more fun.

Then you wake up one morning n you don't feel to bad.
Actually feel kinda good.
I like work, it keeps the mind busy.

Anyway, Rocks Float.

I just realized something.
I'm not invested in any particular post.
Me, just talking. 
I'm perfectly happy to let readers decide what they like.

here's what you think.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Big Fish Mystery #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

I used to think that all sorts of things really mattered n were worth getting upset about.
Not so much anymore.
You wonder, but you don't want to bother folks.

Case File 19. 

13 years ago I was in Paris.
No idea what the future held.
Do I really want to know?

Shadows fall.
How do I fit my dreams into this reality?
The Absurdity of life is intoxicating.

Don't tell people what you know is true.
Wear the face people expect to see. 
Mustn't appear different.

I keep going back to 51% Sane.
Are you ready for what's coming?
Maybe I wasn't

Bones in the crawl space? 
If not for crazy, reality would kill me. 
The shame of Time lost.

The cycle repeats.
My Angel is gone. 
Maybe Today.

Nothing is fixed.
Neglected past, unrecognized present.
Fantasy the last refuge.

The tears of a child for his future.
A window from that moment to this?
Is it yet to come?

I can't control how others see me.
That's their truth.
Crazy would be to try.

I came here expecting nothing.
Truth revealed itself.
Shame fell away.

A liberating truth.
Labels became assets.
Clarity, before darkness claims it's own.

Champion, Rocks Float , 8,560 views.
4 posts in Notes From The Asylum have well over 6,000 views each.

NFTA currently is at 510,000 views overall. 
My twitter page has had approx 5million impressions.


"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas

I like to think of life like the the stars in the sky.
Each star is a moment in time or a thought.
With NFTA I try to pluck some of those moments to create a stream of thought.

I understand that abstract thought is not every-bodies cup of tea.
Those that don't get or like it, don't.
Those that do, I treasure.

Life is just the agreed upon version of crazy.
My search is connect the unconnected dot that we usually can't see.
Big Fish was a gift, that I'm very grateful for.

The title always comes first.
The words fall down underneath it.
The Universe in all its forms will speak to you if you are listening.

I have no use for the past n little for the present.
My interest is the moments in between.
Moments of clarity, a brief conversation with the unseen.

Reality is tedious, but moments of clarity are delicious.
I live each day in the hope of those brief moments.
I don't get them every day or even once a week, but often enough that I wait for each one.

That's why I'm so grateful for Big Fish.
The title is the key that unlocks the door.
Within is that which feeds my soul. 

Abstract thought is like dancing between raindrops n not getting wet.
The raindrops of the past, the present n the future.
What I want can only be found between the drops of rain.


I really like Big Fish Mystery.
In my attempts to create abstraction with words, to date it's my best.
I really hope that you agree. 

Big Fish is now at over 5,000 views n at the top of my A-List. 
When you love something it feels really good to see approval. 

? some perspective might shed light.
I have cut approx 300 of the 520 posts I've written.
It used to be I cut a post if it only achieved 250 views in say 4 months.
Now posts with 500+ views get cut, I only want the best on Notes From The Asylum.
Very soon that bar will be any post with less than 1,000 views will get cut from NFTA.
Number of views are like ratings here at the Asylum, just like TV low ratings get cut.

Notes From The Asylum is just under 2yrs old.
It used to take 6months to a year for a post to hit 1,000 views.
Only 2 other posts have had this type of success out of the 500 posts I've written n the 194 that have survived on NFTA.
That said though over a dozen posts are now at over 2,000 views ea.
1 post is at over 4,000 views, 2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #holly...

Of all the things I've done in my life, I would find the most gratification in Notes From The Asylum being published. 
NFTA is creation n I love that most of all.

Within the next 2 months Notes From The Asylum will reach a very big milestone.
Unfortunately, to broadcast it might not be something I should share.


To my knowledge Congress nor the President are going to pass a law giving Pez Outlaw success.

So Forgive me, I just feel if my life is gonna change, I gotta do it.
Various administrations come n they go, my destiny is up to me.
So Holidays etc, I continue to work. 

Other peoples good fortune is there's not mine.
I choose not to live through there success or failure.
To do so would diffuse my efforts. 

Congratulations n good luck but honestly it will not change my life.
Only my efforts can be mine or change my life.
That said we continue, I have daily goals that must be met. 


Today my mood like my Boots has a lot of mud on it.
Have you ever noticed how your mood reflects the weather?

Yesterday one of the gals had a really good day with her horse.
She was walking around on cloud 9 n didn't want the day to end.

It's all perspective isn't it.
I've been slogging around in 4 inches of mud for 4 days now, so my perspective is different.

It's all where you stand.
Nice hard ground n enclosed arena or out in the pens like me n the horses.

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 

Totally off subject.
Recently I was made aware of a Blue Dog needing a home.
I just couldn't, I need a Big Red Dog.
Like Maggie Thatcher said, I'm getting Wobbly.
Big Red Dogs (Bull Mastiff's) are my Spirit Guides. 
Yes, I believe in that stuff with all my heart.
It's been to long.

Just dawned on me, maybe that's her name.

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, October 7, 2017

2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

If you elect me President of the United States, 

Everybody Gets A Puppy.

VOTE Pez Outlaw for President

It's for the children.

This is not a joke.
The way I figure it is this, if you're gonna waste your vote on someone who is not gonna win, make that vote me.
I always wanted to be a US congressman or senator, but I'll settle for President.
I'm seriously asking you to write in Pez Outlaw as your vote for President in 2020.
How could you possibly do worse?

2020 Campaign Slogan.
If it's good enough for Urkel, it's good enough for me. 

Old men start slow. 
It takes 4 years to get our momentum going.
In 2016 I ran a 4 week campaign, for 2020 I figured I'd run a 4 year campaign.
Failure is no excuse for not trying again. 

To those who chant the mantra against "The Permanent Campaign". 
Yo Mama.

I intend to spend the same amount of money in my 2020 run for President as I did in my 2016 run. ZERO! 
I figure if I can get the CRAZY vote  that I'm a shoe in for President in 2020.
What? I waited 4 weeks to announce.

I view life as performance art.
Pez Outlaw For President.

Wouldn't it be cool if there was a Pez Outlaw For President pin like this of above pic.

I'm crowd funding votes for Pez Outlaw for president

I'm attempting to crowd fund your write in vote for Pez Outlaw for president as publicity to get a book published.

It's for the children

It's for the children, puppies n kittens.

I'm a Strong believer in nepotism, I Will fill as many positions as possible with family members.

the caliber of my appointees..

If elected President I only think it's fair to give you an idea of the caliber of my appointees..

Thank You, Thank You Very Much

Campaign song, Hay, Hay, Poo, Poo............

Every Dead person that can should get out n Vote Pez Outlaw for President


Presidential Qualifications
I shovel Horse Shit for a living.

Every Presidential election year a lot of Americans decide to not vote for any of the candidates for President on the ballot. These voters instead choose to write in a name of there own for President as a gesture of defiance concerning what is on offer. These write in votes are a right in our election process but unfortunately count very little in the end. My hope is that if you are going to write in a candidate for President that you make your protest in the name Pez Outlaw. If I can get enough people who write in a candidate for president to write in Pez Outlaw a secondary good will come from your act of protest. Your vote might also have the secondary effect of getting me a book deal. 

Your write in vote will gain you nothing, so why not let it do some good for somebody else. ME! To address a concern you might have as to how good a writer I actually am. For this book I'm trying to get published with the help of you writing in Pez Outlaw for President. I'm already under contract with the ghost writer Jeff Maysh who wrote the April 2015 Playboy story The Pez Outlaw see-   which won 2 writing awards. see- Pez Outlaw Wins 2 Awards #pezoutlaw #hollywood    

So I'm asking you to Vote Pez Outlaw as a write in for President. You know that you are going to do it anyway, all I'm asking is that you let that act of protest have a secondary good by making your write in vote for president be Pez Outlaw.

I love this straight jacket pic.

Because there are so many voices/personalities in my head, my campaign is fully staffed.
Pez Outlaw for President.   

I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time

I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time #pezoutlaw #hollywood: VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8, 2020

I want to recycle your write in protest vote for president into something new, a Pez Outlaw Book. Vote Pez Outlaw for President.

My philosophy on life is this. You never give up, never give in n never quit trying. Try everything no matter how foolish others might think you are for attempting it. That you do is what separates you from those who only wish for things. I have now spent almost 2 decades on this 1 project, that's the dedication to a dreams fulfillment that it takes.

I have zero money, but even that to me is no excuse. As always the trick is to find the loophole n exploit it. I have my story so for me this time that loophole is the great equalizer of the internet. With the internet I can without money pursue my dream of a Pez Outlaw book. If you write in Pez Outlaw for president this year, my dream of a book could come true.

At first glance I accept how crazy this idea seems, but if people who write in a vote for president choose Pez Outlaw, it will work.
That old thing, it's so crazy, it might just work.

Pez Outlaw For President, Recent campaign rally.

Donald trump might get 10,000 to 15,000 people at a rally, but look how many people we got in a phone booth.

Yes we held a campaign rally in a phone booth, it was the only place we could get, but we packed em in. 

Cabinet Meeting of my administration

I promise as President to do absolutely nothing except take pointless trips on Airforce 1 n play Golf.

From the big brain room

VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT has 3,200 views so far.  
Pretty good for one of my posts. 
My #1 post is VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8 #pezoutlaw.
In my reality, only my numbers are relevant.

It's official.
VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8 is now the highest viewed post on Notes From The Asylum.
Yes, I Hammered it to get there.

I'm shamelessly seeking validation n approval, hence the following.

Google+ Followers, please give VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT post a G+1 positive feedback.

Within insanity, find good
Out of chaos, find purpose
Solutions are found in the most unlikely of places
To find answers, you must have eyes that can see
Faith n belief in yourself, will carry you  

This crazy pretend world I've created is where I find refuge from the harsh n painful realities of life. My dreams are what sustain me. All my crazy schemes give me hope.

Now, On With The Show

I'm campaigning for the Mickey Mouse, Evan McMullin, Gary Johnson n Jill Stein Vote. 

Why Not, could I possibly be worse?

America has a long n proud history of crazy people running for President.
My turn.

"As President, I Pez Outlaw couldn't possibly do worse."
Pez Outlaw for President yard sign.
Pez Outlaw for President, Better than Mickey Mouse. 

It's a race to the bottom for President, Vote Pez Outlaw for President because I'm it.
So if you're looking for the bottom of the barrel for President, look no further, Pez Outlaw. 
In a year of bad choices for President, Why not make the worst choice, Pez Outlaw.

Are you better off than you were 8yrs ago?
Things could be worse, Vote Pez Outlaw for President. 

A Vote for Pez Outlaw is a vote for ummmmmm yup change.

If elected I promise a 1957 Ford Truck in every garage.
You'll thank me later, after the pulse.

Pez Outlaw for President Campaign slogan.
My best friend has a favorite stick.
Though her favorite stick changes every few days, they wear out.

I  know a lot of folks are terribly conflicted this year n are gonna write in a crazy name in protest.
I'm here to ask for that vote.
Write in any other name is just a shameful waste. 
Make your write in vote PEZ OUTLAW for president because I might get a book deal out of it.
From my perspective that vote then would not have been wasted. 

Think of your write in vote of PEZ OUTLAW for president as crowd funding a book deal for me.

Every Presidential election year a significant number of people vote for Mickey Mouse.
I'm asking for the Mickey Mouse vote.
Let's make it Pez Outlaw this time.

I know a lot of people are ashamed to say who they are voting for right now.
Say PEZ OUTLAW for President with pride. 

If mistakenly elected President, I promise to only serve 90 days, just long enough to get a great retirement package.

As President I promise that all my speeches will be pointless rambling about nothing n made up stuff.
As president many of my speeches would simply be "Dude" then, he gone.

As President I would rent out every room in the White House like a bed n breakfast to raise money to pay down the National debt. 

As President I would turn the White House front lawn into a horse pasture for the Old Man n his Buds. 

As President all motorcades would include me on my tractor moving at a snails pace. 

As President besides doing nothing, I promise to also stand for nothing. 

I promise as President it would be like I wasn't even there. 

But Wait There's More, Act now n..........

Here's the book Pez Outlaw Diary 
It's FREE online to read, right now.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence

Pez Outlaw Diary