Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Dear Sanctuary #pezoutlaw #hollywood

When you read the rest of this post you may think that I can't spell. The truth is that every time I read the title I felt an overwhelming erg to change it from deer to dear.  I wanted to address this post on a personal level and the sanctuary is not just for nature it's for me and my place in it.

In the last few years I've noticed something. A month or so after hunting season (I do not hunt), the leftover deer from all the small herds that were culled gather on my little preserve into a new herd. This year the new little herd of surviving deer numbers about 10 to 14 depending on the day.

Here's why.
Back in about 1975 we bought an old farm of 20 acres. Within 10 years I turned 10 of those acres back into a new young woods from a corn field. My main reason at the time was that when I turned a shovel of dirt in that old corn field there were no worms, this alarmed me.

One of the things I did when letting this field go back to nature was to cut walking trails through what now is a very nice little 10 acre woods. The trails are not just for humans, the deer and the rabbits also love to graze on the fresh young grass that grows on these trails.

Did I mention that besides there being no worms back in 1975, there also were hardly any rabbits. Now, oh my God are there a lot of rabbits. In the evenings is when they come out to graze and the are bold little buggers.

When I established this little sanctuary I didn't just let it go. For about a decade I gathered Walnuts from the trees up front and took them down to the new little woods and scattered them at the edges of the trails. Now there are 10 to 16 foot new Walnut trees all over the place back there, much to the delight of the new squirrel and chipmunk population that now thrives there.

We all now know of the problem Bees and Monarch Butterflies are having because of modern agriculture due to pesticides and chemicals. My new hope is to plant Milk Weed and Wild Flowers like a madman in the little meadows that exist within the woods and along the edges of the trails. Wild Flowers for my sons Bee Hives and Milk Weed for the Monarch Butterflies.

My little Deer Sanctuary is strategically located with 10 acre buffers on each side of it to protect it from chemicals which gives me high hopes that just like the earth worms, deer, squirrels, chipmunks and rabbits, that it will also be perfect for the bees and Monarch Butterflies.

Planting the Milk Weed and Wild Flowers for the Bees and Butterflies though is going to be an expensive proposition. So if you'd like to donate to help with the project I've added the paypal.me link below.

By the way, I do not allow hunting and never have on my sanctuary.

There are a lot more types of plants and trees I could plant back there to help create a perfect ecosystem for nature but it all takes money. So if you feel so inclined, please donate.

One of the things I could also use is a new riding mower to maintain the trails that the deer and rabbits like to eat on. These trails are also vital in the care of the woods, planting etc.





Go to paypal.me/pezoutlaw and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries. Getting one is fast and free.
paypal.me






After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Jack Black is Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood

"A Grateful Human Being Who Turned His Life Around"
God I want to say that one day!
Please follow me on twitter to help my dream come true. Pez Outlaw, sj glew @pezoutlaw


My dream actor to play Pez Outlaw in a movie would be Jack Black.
Jack Black is the perfect kind of crazy to play Pez Outlaw, who by definition is crazy.
The most common comment is "who would you like or think should play you".
Truth is, No idea at all, that's up to them. 

grant gustin who plays Barry Allen/the Flash would be perfect to play Joshua in a Pez Outlaw Movie.

The first big deadline on this project closes today.
Meaning, we're house hunting starting Saturday, hoping to find a new home for Pez Outlaw.
So things have a ways to go.

Out of the blue yesterday Ri says, Yeah I think ??? would be a good choice to play you in the Pez Outlaw movie. I heard this once before from Jeff Maysh.
You may have noticed I removed the name n image of the specific actor.
Reason is, I do not won't to make anyone think I prefer this or that actor to play me in the movie.
Whomever, I'm good.

Whatever choice of actor to play Pez Outlaw they make is fine with me.

Same goes for whatever story they decide to tell, I will support any n all decisions.
The project is bigger than choices of actor or direction of story.

That said I decided to reflect on if it were ???.
Guy looks about right n I was 43 when it all started.
??? from my limited knowledge seems to be able to do crazy pretty good.
He also has that correct off look that seems to be me.

I have to say this though.
If it were ???, the crazy is key.
Napkin in my left hand as I write this. 
Obsessive compulsive habits.
That twist around look as to who might be following me.
Quick personality changes from hot to cold.
Out of nowhere finishing a thought from a week ago, like no time at all had lapsed.
Laying out chairs etc in hotel rooms to impede intruders.
Flushing fingernail clippings or hair from brushes.
N remember, these were the good years.

If they go into the decade of depression that followed when I wrote Pez Outlaw Diary.
That's another emotional side.
The journey is the story.
So ???, yeah sure why not.

I will tell you this, I'm going nuts waiting for news. 
Any news, motion is enough. 



When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, May 14, 2018

A Conversation With Jack Black! #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I don't think about the things I fear
When it ends, they will seem small
Everything I've ever done has been to end up at this point
The man said, Nothing is impossible

Yesterday while I was out mowing the lawn for the first time this year, a thought kept swirling around in my head. What would I say to Jack Black if he showed up here wondering why I thought he should play Pez Outlaw in the movie. Further, how would I explain to him what the story of Pez Outlaw is actually about.

The first thing I'd do is ask him to indulge me for 2 minute by sitting down and closing his eyes.
Imagine that you are sitting on the set of the Pez Outlaw movie and that it's actually being made. You are watching the thing that you gave up 20 years of your life to see happen. The question is, Why did you do this? 

Pez Outlaw only lived for ten years, The story about to be told is about him and really doesn't even use your name. Yet you gave up 20 years of your life to see this happen. By telling Pez Outlaws story maybe we'll understand.

Pez Outlaws story really is about that yearning in all of us for that life we dream of. Stepping out of the lot we are handed at birth in hopes of something better. Born in a cinder block house on the south side, my father hauled burn barrel ash and middle class folks trash for extra money. I dreamt of a big life, one better than the one I grew up in. Though I'm not sure I believed that life was actually possible. In the back of my mind I think I knew I'd just end up in the shop for 40 years like my father.

While working in the shop for 23 years I still dreamed every day of something better. Having that one big idea that took me to the life I desperately yearned for. To my complete surprise my dream came true.

In 1994 I left the shop and Pez Outlaw was born. I started by traveling all over the US and Canada followed by roughly 90 trips to Europe, South Africa and Australia. For over a decade I lived the life I'd dreamed of as a child. Then at the end of that decade this dream I'd built came crashing down around me.

I've spent the last 20 years trying to make sense of it all. I feel at times that I'm trapped in a story that I know the ending to but I'm just waiting for it to happen. I came very close to finishing his story (Pez Outlaw') roughly a year ago when WB optioned the movie.

Now I get up every day and work once again on fulfilling his (Pez Outlaw's) dream. I can't actually tell you why I do this any more than I can tell you why I lived his life for over a decade.
Now as was the case then, instinctively I do this because I must. I somehow and for some reason feel compelled to do something that I do not understand. All I know is that I must before I can rest.

Oh Yeah Sorry.
We left poor Jack Black sitting in that chair with his eyes closed, maybe we better let him get up before somebody charges us with kidnapping.
Jack by telling Pez Outlaws story maybe we understand the why but at the very least we finally tell the ending to his story.

Jack Black, if I've peaked your interest in the Pez Outlaw Movie, contact dk.
You worked with him on Nacho Libre.

The Fine Print.
If you buy outright $85k the rights to make the Pez Outlaw Movie, I will happily also turn over to you all of my social media accounts (facebook twitter) and only speak when asked to
Book publishing rights are seperate and another $85k. 


dk, jeff and jack
I've been thinking lately or maybe wondering is better?
Book and movie rights @ $85k until I hit 85k followers on twitter.
For every follower after 85k on twitter the price goes up .50ea.
My goal is 1 million followers on twitter and my question I guess is that once that's achieved would the Pez Outlaw book and movie rights be worth $460,000.00 each.
I'm just wondering if I raise the viability of the project, does the value of it increase proportionately.



After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.






Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #hollywood

What an interesting n odd way to look at something.My guess is you clicked this post hunting for an enlightening metaphor. 
Of course there is one but not today, today it's about the other things that give me joy.

Yes rocks float, to clarify in dirt.
Have you ever noticed how rocks seem to work there way up to the surface.
There's a point to this. 

Over the last week I've been working on a kinda big project.
Moving a barn n creating a circle drive.
Barn was in a bog n smack in the middle of where I wanted to put the circle drive.

I'd put a large amount of rocks at the entrances to the barn.
Well if I'd left them there they'd have just work up n killed the mower.
So I dug them all out n used them as a base for the drive.

The project is going well, but it would go better if I had any money.
What I wouldn't give for 5 six inch 8ft fence posts, 6 of 12ft 4x4s n 6 sheets of 3/4 OSB.
Make do n increase the labor quotient.

Temp is about 80 now n the work has been brutal.
Chores, manure removal, getting hay, then the projects.
4 hrs to mow, then weed whacking, plus the gardens.

Yesterday was stump removal day, got 5 of them out, 3 to go.
Did I mention that I do this shit alone.
Well me the tractor n Billy Dog.

This morning I got up n to my surprise I felt pretty good.
Felt like crapp for about a week.
Just plain wore out.

When I was a child I played football in 9th n 10th grade.
Workouts began in August.
We're talking exercise till you puke workouts.

This spring has been that same kind of rough.
10 days ago I thought I was getting back in shape after winter.
Silly Rabbit.

The last week has been a whole new level of tired.
You push up to the line n hydrate.
Collapse n do it again the next day n the next day.

I know where the line is.
Muscles start cramping from fatigue.
You needed to stop half hr ago. 

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate.
I drink 48 oz of water in summer each day while I work.
I also drink 16 oz of Electric Lights liquid. 

Electric lights is intentional so no comments.
I'll live in my world, you live in yours.
My ways more fun.

Then you wake up one morning n you don't feel to bad.
Actually feel kinda good.
I like work, it keeps the mind busy.

Anyway, Rocks Float.

I just realized something.
I'm not invested in any particular post.
Me, just talking. 
I'm perfectly happy to let readers decide what they like.

here's what you think.





After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary





















































1st Known Photo of Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood

1951, The Arrival of Pez Outlaw.Yeah, that was me back in 47, oops.
pez outlaw
My 1st n earliest memory as a child was being in a fever state.
My whole body felt like it was wrenching.
Almost like a rejection of this existence.

I've tried to go back n make sense of it, but I can't. 
I've always wondered if the first n last moments of life are somehow connected.
Like a bridge in time.
 
To this day the memory is vivid.
I've never told anyone about that, not even Kathy.
Sorta fitting that I told it here in the Asylum first.

Do you want to know something that'll give you a reality check?
Explaining this post to Kathy, I said out of deference.
Fugue state you know how bipolar people get, like it didn't include me.

I got a really blank stare. 
Perception of my reality took a hit.
Honey I don't get that way? answer, sometimes. 

I just don't know what to do with that.
How you see yourself, is not how others see you.
I'm not medicated or under a doctors care, but I guess I am indulged/tolerated.

Collision of Thought

Father to Son.
The Cat Lady is on her 3rd home. 
Words become orphans.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

I've heard of restless leg
Heard of restless hand, Superior Donuts
Is Restless Brain a thing?
Cause I think I got it.

I prayed for CAKE last night.
Got up n there was CAKE.
Pretty quick turn around on a prayer.
It usually doesn't work like that.

When at a crossroad. Do you let your mind come out n play?
There is no point.
Which is not the point.

I'm standing on the 3rd story ledge.
Waiting for news that talks me down.
Roller coasters n Airports.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

Thank You
I appreciate that question
I hoped someone would ask me about that
Next question

Anxiety doesn't change anything.
Then again, I had a cool pic.
Also had a good title.
So, I write the words.

In a recent conversation Big words was the topic.
To use or not to use Big words, THAT is the question.

My official stance on the use of Big words is, ehhh whatever.
The words you use to make a point should be precise, understandable n get to the dirt.

You can talk for 10 minutes n say nothing.
Or, you can use a few sentences n get right there.

Of course I'm not one to talk because I talk in circles n use riddles.
That's my job though, to expound on the notions that drift through my mind.

There is no script, just find the manner that suits you.
To the point, speak in a manner that makes you comfortable. 

I find myself using my fathers voice more n more.
A natural drift to where I came from.

My writing structure is made up.
I'm told my grammar is poor.

Hell I make up words as it suits me.
Find your voice, convey the thought, keep it simple.

Words will not ingratiate you with fancy folks.
Let your thoughts stand for you in judgement.

We live in fear of judgement.
I prefer to present my thoughts unhindered by self image.

Since the age of 5, I haven't given a tinkers damn what anybody thought of me. 
Obsessing over will they like me sabotages any shot at finding out who you are.

That's not to say I liked myself, because I did not.
I've only begun to like myself in the last decade.

My journey has been n is a quest for change.
I strive every day to be a better person.

Present your mind to people.
Your appearance will betray you.

Your mind, purity of thought.
That's where you make your stand.

Look at me, you see some old shit kicker.
Listen to me, I hope you get a different take.

One truth is not in my hands.
Your perception is yours n I can't change it.

Circles n Puzzles.
I warned ya.

I really like the idea that Pez Outlaw traveled here from another dimension.
The transition from his world to this was just to much n Pez Outlaw ended up in the Asylum he writes to you from now. 

I can tell you one thing for sure.
If I still had my spaceship n could go back in time n change just 1 thing.
I'd go back to 1998 n never buy the Pez Outlaw collection.
641 Pez Outlaw Collection
courtesy of  Phyllis Shafer Oreck


$250,000.00 on new original design product, color variations, crystals n glow in the dark Pez.
$250,000.00 on old stock to qualify for previous sentence.

The biggest mistake bar none I made in this lifetime was to try n go legit by buying 1/2 million dollars of Pez From Pez Corporation in 1998.
So yes if I could go back in time, I'd never have done that.
Of course that would also mean that the Pez Hobby would never have seen Crystals or Glow in the Dark pez.
It would also mean that Scott McWhinnie would not have been forced into retirement.

I smuggled 2 million Pez this way n that into the USA.  
Over an 11 year period I earned 4.5 million dollars.
At the end of that I lost 1/2 million dollars.
We walked away from those years $250,000.00 in debt.

It's been almost 18 years since I received the news that changed the direction of my life.
The previous 47 years of my life had been a very slow crawl of forward momentum that peaked in a rapid decade of the 1990s.
The 1990s were the happiest time of my life, all my worries vanished for a decade.

The story of How much n why Scott McWhinnie hated Pez Outlaw (me) is by now well known within the Pez Collecting community.
Kathy said You really couldn't have changed what happened. 
My answer was, My biggest regret is deciding to buy that 1/2 million dollars worth of Pez Product.
I just never should have done it.


I've never been the type of person that things came to easily.
As a matter of fact my ability to fit into what is "Normal" has always been a challenge.
Despite that I found my path.

It took me 25 years to get to the point in 1994 that I was ready to make my move.
Finally I had scraped together a few thousand dollars to begin my journey.
The next 4 years flew by at light speed, as I traveled the world buying Pez.
I had finally caught the wave.

Everything was built on the momentum of the previous success.
Flea markets, Good Will stores, Collectibles of every description, McDonalds premiums, cereal premiums and finally Pez.
Every success rolled into the next, all building to the decisions of 1998.

In 1998 I remortgaged my home ($125,000.00) and took out an additional line of credit loan for $125,000.00.
I put that borrowed $250,000.00 plus another $250,000.00 of earnings in 1998 on the biggest play I had ever made.
I made my play, a half million dollars pushed into the middle of the table.

In late 1998 I lost and sj glew died.
Everything I had worked a lifetime for ended.
Like I said my path in life has not been an easy fit.

Yes I earned 4.5 million dollars in 11 years on a $4,000.00 investment, but in the end I lost $250,000.00 on a half million dollar investment that should have yielded a million, minimum.

The question then became, when you have lost almost everything what's your next move.
All material resources gone, what's left to draw on.
It was at that low point that I realized the one asset, I still had my mind.

Over the next decade I used it along with the new tool of the internet to write my story.
The process has been very slow, 15 years now.
The goal to sell the Pez Outlaw story as a book and a movie.

I can say this much as to the progress of that dream.
Having your story optioned does not guarantee that the movie will actually be made.
So I continue working.

That day in 1998 when sj glew and all his dreams died, that was the day Pez Outlaw was born.
A thought just crept into my mind. I wonder what the reaction would be if I showed up at Pez USA headquarters or the Offices in Austria?
Would I be welcomed as an old Friend?

You'd think that the person that made Pez international millions would indeed have the red carpet rolled out for him.
I say made them millions in this context, Bubble Boy, Color variations, Glow in the dark n crystal's.
All these ideas originated by Pez Outlaw n did not existed until I conceived n introduced them. 

So my guess is Pez Corp would welcome me (Pez Outlaw) with open arm.
Hell, I bet Pez Corp would throw a banquet in my honor if I showed up at there door.
I'd be all, gosh folks you don't have to create a special Pez Dispenser to commemorate my contribution to Pez.

N they Pez Corp would be.
But you are so awesome, we pale historically in the presence of Pez Outlaw.
Aw shucks, it was nothin.

After Pez Outlaw conceived n launched colors, glow n crystals Pez Corp sold millions of them.
Being a humble person I've stayed in the shadows n let Pez Corp run with my ball.
There success with my ideas is payment enough.
It's like watching all your children do well.

But Hey n Oh Shucks, if you want to create a special pez dispenser to commemorate the Pez Outlaw contribution to Pez.
I suppose that'd be OK.
After all, It's For The Children.

Jeez Oh Pete's, So much Fuss.
Thank You.
Pez Outlaw. 



After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.










Pez Outlaw Diary

 




Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Big Fish Mystery #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I'm not allowed to talk about my dreams anymore.
It's complicated.


Case File 19

15 years ago I was in Paris.
No idea what the future held.

Shadows fall.
How do I fit my dreams into this reality?

Don't tell people what you know is true.
Wear the face people expect to see. 

I keep going back to 51% Sane.
Are you ready for what's coming?

Bones in the crawl space? 
If not for crazy, reality would kill me. 

The shame of Time lost.
My Angel is gone.

Neglected past, unrecognized present.
Fantasy the last refuge.

The tears of a child for his future.
Is it yet to come?

I can't control how others see me.
Truth revealed itself.


Shame fell away.
Darkness claimed it's own.

I'd like to share a thought.
Once you leave this Earth n a Thousand years go by.
Do you really think that belief you held to the point of Hatred matters as much as you thought once nobody even remembers you?

I just hit 19,000 followers on twitter.
Thank You all so very much.
The Goal is to raise Pez Outlaw visibility toward goals of the book and movie.

I rarely turn on my facebook account, possibly 30 seconds each twice a day, so if you need to contact me best to use twitter. Pez Outlaw, sj glew 
@pezoutlaw
Champion, Rocks Float , 13,000 views.
4 posts in Notes From The Asylum have well over 7,000 views each.

Notes From The Asylum currently is at 600,000 views overall. 
My twitter page has had approx 5million impressions.


*******************************

"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas


Life is just the agreed upon version of crazy.My search is connect what we usually can't see.
Big Fish was a gift, that I'm very grateful for.

The title always comes first.
The words fall down underneath it.
The Universe in all its forms will speak to you if you are listening.

I have no use for the past n little for the present.
My interest is the moments in between.
Moments of clarity, a brief conversation with the unseen.

Reality is tedious, but moments of clarity are delicious.
I live each day in the hope of those brief moments.
I don't get them every day or even once a week, but often enough that I wait for each one.

That's why I'm so grateful for Big Fish.
The title is the key that unlocks the door.
Within is that which feeds my soul. 

Abstract thought is like dancing between raindrops n not getting wet.
The raindrops of the past, the present n the future.
What I want can only be found between the drops of rain.


*******************************

I really like Big Fish Mystery.
In my attempts to create abstraction with words, to date it's my best.
I really hope that you agree. 

Big Fish is now at over 5,000 views n at the top of my A-List. 
When you love something it feels really good to see approval. 

? some perspective might shed light.
I have cut approx 300 of the 520 posts I've written.
It used to be I cut a post if it only achieved 250 views in say 4 months.
Now posts with 500+ views get cut, I only want the best on Notes From The Asylum.
Very soon that bar will be any post with less than 1,000 views will get cut from NFTA.
Number of views are like ratings here at the Asylum, just like TV low ratings get cut.

Notes From The Asylum is just under 2yrs old.
It used to take 6months to a year for a post to hit 1,000 views.
Only 2 other posts have had this type of success out of the 500 posts I've written n the 194 that have survived on NFTA.
That said though over a dozen posts are now at over 4,000 views ea.
1 post is at over 7,000 views, 2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #holly...

Of all the things I've done in my life, I would find the most gratification in Notes From The Asylum being published. 
NFTA is creation n I love that most of all.

Within the next 2 months Notes From The Asylum will reach a very big milestone.
Unfortunately, to broadcast it might not be something I should share.

*****************************

To my knowledge Congress nor the President are going to pass a law giving Pez Outlaw success.

So Forgive me, I just feel if my life is gonna change, I gotta do it.
Various administrations come n they go, my destiny is up to me.
So Holidays etc, I continue to work. 

Other peoples good fortune is there's not mine.
I choose not to live through there success or failure.
To do so would diffuse my efforts. 

Congratulations n good luck but honestly it will not change my life.
Only my efforts can be mine or change my life.
That said we continue, I have daily goals that must be met. 

***************************************************


Today my mood like my Boots has a lot of mud on it.
Have you ever noticed how your mood reflects the weather?

Yesterday one of the gals had a really good day with her horse.
She was walking around on cloud 9 n didn't want the day to end.

It's all perspective isn't it.
I've been slogging around in 4 inches of mud for 4 days now, so my perspective is different.

It's all where you stand.
Nice hard ground n enclosed arena or out in the pens like me n the horses.

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 

Totally off subject.
Recently I was made aware of a Blue Dog needing a home.
I just couldn't, I need a Big Red Dog.
Like Maggie Thatcher said, I'm getting Wobbly.
Big Red Dogs (Bull Mastiff's) are my Spirit Guides. 
Yes, I believe in that stuff with all my heart.
It's been to long.

Just dawned on me, maybe that's her name.
Maggie. 

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.



After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary








Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Secrets #pezoutlaw #hollywood



My grandson wants my life n I want my dog Proby's life.


Revealing truth is liberating.
Withholding truth makes you vulnerable.
Secrets are a cancer on your soul.
Yet life is filled with secrets.

You can't live without relationships.
Though the maintenance is set with Booby-traps.
One wrong step n that spiky thing comes at you.
When did it get so complicated.

You'd think honesty would protect you.
Some days I get wore out from careful conversation. 
The truth is, you can't be honest with people.
Total honesty repels people. 

I just apologized to a friend for saying what's on my mind.
I wish it was the first time.
I told him that I seem to have a talent for making people not want to talk to me.
Just an observation, how much it matters I'm uncertain of.

So you hold your thoughts close.
Until that one person who gets you, Joshua my son says something.
N you almost scream in response, Yeah!
The response is almost a cry of relief.

Then Joshua says something else n again halfway though you shout, YEAH!
Thinking all the while, Why don't others seem to see it.
Then Josh says people are telling him he's becoming more like me by the day.
It was inevitable, I am my father, Joshua is me n Danny or Jake will be Joshua.

So what's the point?
There is none, just frustration.
People say they want the truth or an honest answer, but they really don't.
They want to hear whatever version makes them feel OK with themselves.

Problem is that I usually know what I want and what I think.
Where I get in trouble is when I share it.
Are there rules I don't know how to follow?
Is this written down somewhere?

I've met people who look scared at the thought of saying what they want.
N if you press them, it angers them, like I'm somehow not respecting the process.
I see this over n over and I still don't understand it.
I am willing to accept what I want, To some what they want is a process.

People say I get there to quick, n that I'm impatient.
The thing is that I know what I want n time is slipping away.
With Pez, What made me different?
Really simple. I saw something n I acted on it, while others thought about acting. 

I'm as puzzled today at almost 65 as I was a child of 5. 
I'm not delusional, I don't think that this is brilliant. 
I'm just purging. 
My imaginary shrink says I need to write things down.

It's like I told Josh, write it out straight, then make it abstract.
Because if you say it straight it offends people.
Keep it vague n people can interpret the meaning to there liking.
Truth can be liberating but it can also be cruel or unwanted.

That n I believe I push to hard.
For which I'm truly sorry.
But we know I won't change.
It's like the scorpion n the river, It's my nature.

I will say this though.
I may know what I think from given information.
Though I have no idea what that information will be.
Meaning, I have no idea what the future holds.

I know what I want but it's in the hands of those pesky relationships.
N Yup you guessed it, they don't want to talk to me.
A Feller could get a complex, were it not for ego. 
I'm OK, You're OK. Are we good?

Why are people determined to draw you into the things they find interesting?
I refuse to waste my time on all the useless endeavors of others.
Computer n Cell Phone obsession is the worst, what a bunch of drivel.
Please attend this or join me at that.
NO! 
Then the guilting, but it would make me happy if you did.
Does it count for nothing that it would make me miserable n potentially suicidal? 
People need to hear the word NO more.
You say NO nowadays n people react like you killed a puppy.


I remain. 
Not a Damn clue. 
Yours.
Pez Outlaw.

Thank God, it's time for therapy.
Smiley Face, today we get Jello or is it Pudding?
See what I mean?

My imaginary Shrink says, It only matters if you pretend to know if it's pudding or Jello. 

The Title should have been Jello or Pudding. 
Should I change it?
I like my life, I do things the way I like.
Example is the 4 line verse I use here, just because I like it.

We went on a deep dive today.
Hopefully it was amusing. 

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 
On the flip side, sometimes you delete posts because they made it sound like you care more than you actually do.
 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary