Thursday, June 14, 2018

Pez Outlaw Diary, Catch Me If You Can #pezoutlaw #hollywood

What follows is the pitch for a Pez Outlaw Book
The Thief Who Ran Pez Corp for a Decade, Pez Outlaw Diary book publishing Rights

For over a decade I've worked on this book in public, this morning I deleted all but this chapter from public view. Like they used to say when I was a kid, nobody buys the cow if you give the milk away. This one chapter pitch is all I'll be showing of Pez Outlaw Diary from now on.

The Book and Movie pitch follows.

Before we start I need to emphasize something. I did everything out in the open. I paid good money for everything I got. I crossed all borders with customs agents inspecting everything. If a manager decided to sell me product, I accepted his decision, whether he should have or not is not my problem, that's between them and the corporate home office. I never decided what was correct, I just played by the rules as they existed. If Pez Corporation did not like what I was doing, they should have brought it up with there corporate owners in Europe who thought my money was just great. If Pez USA had a problem with me also importing large amounts of Pez dispensers, they should have registered with US Customs as sole importers of that product. They did not and as the head customs agent at a pot of entry said, "If there that stupid, to hell with them."

As the Wall came down (the end of the old Soviet Union), the opportunity of this unique moment in time revealed itself. Opportunity for Pez Corporation and for me Pez Outlaw.

I think a lot now about that unique moment in time. Pez Corporation used it to expand into a vast new market. I used it to exploit the vulnerabilities of that rush to expand.

After the Wall came down, there was a lot of confusion. Confusion is your friend if you want to do crazy things in plain sight and have it seem normal. An Outlaw can look like just another businessman coming into a new market wishing to embrace newfound opportunity.

Luckily I had CASH and lots of it, because as we all know "Cash Is King". The number of hands by business types reaching out for the money I offered was like beggars in the slums of a third world country. It was indeed a unique moment in time.

Add to that the Corporate chaos within Pez Corp. In there rush to expand East into a rich new market, many choices that favored my efforts were made. People I found easy to deal with were given positions of authority, In normal times I wonder if the same choices would have been made?

Because the expansion East was so hurried, product was a huge problem and corners were cut. Older inventory and older molds, some no longer under license were rushed into new warehouses and new injection molding factories. Add to that the new user friendly staffs and this brave new world was perfect for me/Pez Outlaw to make his entrance on a world stage.

I loved this time. As I look back now I realize what a huge gift this magic moment was for me.
I grew up lower middle class and definitely not from money. I had a stereotype 1960s youthful experience. Free Love, Drugs and Rock and Roll.

I left my youth of the 1960s behind for love and 25yrs of torture to my soul working in the shop.While working in the shop I dreamed of the moment that finally arrived in 1994. A moment where if you could walk that delicate line between legal and illegal I could escape and lead the life I'd only dreamed of. When my moment arrived I grabbed that brass ring with both hands like a starving child.

What followed was My Perfect Decade. Money I can now only dream of having, because as you might guess it ended badly. That moment in time and I were both ill suited to survive, but ignorance was bliss and we both thought it could go on forever. With all my soul I wish it had, but like a crossroads deal with the Devil I got the standard ten years before my time ran out.

Now two decades later a story about Pez Outlay in Playboy Magazine and interest in a Hollywood Movie. Again I wait at the Crossroads like Robert Johnson eager to make that deal for just one more great decade before my time runs out again.

For ten years I had the unexpected pleasure of traveling to Europe & other areas of the world searching for Pez. A more noble journey would have been in search of wisdom or truth. My journey was in search of Plastic.

 My lifestyle allowed me to travel Worldwide roughly 10 times per year for most of 10 years. Each trip lasted 4 to 8 days. Some of the trips were more of a whirlwind affair involving many countries on the same trip. Austria to Hungary, Sweden to Hungary, South Africa to Hungary, Slovenia to Hungary, France n Germany to Hungary. Somehow I always ended up in Hungary. I also took my dream trip to Australia. I don't miss it, especially with flying being what it is today. Though for ten years it was my life & beyond what I ever thought possible. 

Everywhere I went people on the hustle with a recent jolt of freedom. Eastern Europe was to me a real contradiction. Remnants of the old oppression side by side with the new energy of a fresh batch of entrepreneurs. My timing could not have been better, the perfect marriage of an idea, the will to act on it n the environment for it to be possible.

In my years as Pez Outlaw I bought n sold well over 2 Million Pez Dispensers.
In my Pez Outlaw Decade I earned 4.5 Million Dollars.

So many hushed conversations where things were spoke of in an abstract shorthand, even when you'd think nobody could possibly hear.
Bribes to grease the wheels n routes chosen very carefully to avoid detection.
Flamboyant when selling but maintaining an undetectable profile when buying.
What a crazy decade.

It seems that I tell you everything and yet I tell you nothing at all.
There is so much more. 
When the Book is written, Then and only then will I tell the rest of the story.
Pez Outlaw

In the 1990s a major cable channel contacted Pez Outlaw thinking I was Pez Corporation. 
I can't stress the significance of that n that it happened because my activities were so big at that time that they would get that confused.


My Movie. 
opening shot
an 8 year old child, (1959) Pez Outlaw being dragged to, then pushed into the classroom closet at the Maple Grove Elementary school. Darkness, then the door opens revealing Pez Outlaw 10 years later in solitary confinement county jail Ohio. 
see C1. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, #pezoutlaw... for the rest of this story 
scene 2
She Whispered, "Kolinska" With that one word, Kolinska, a decade long Fairy-tale that changed my life began.

Segue to a crowded Pez/toy show floor where a woman whispers Kolinka in my ear to Josh n I on the little plane to Ljubliana about to die. see C3.She Whispered, "Kolinska" #pezoutlaw #hollywood... for the rest of this story
scene 3

1994 Flight to Ljubljana. After waiting all night on benches in a small corner of the Vienna airport finally it was time to board. We walk out onto the airstrip & are directed to board Sky Kings plane. 
“Sky King” starred Kirby Grant as Schuyler “Sky” King and Gloria Winters as his niece, Penny.

Pilot copilot & 4 seats for passengers. One of the seats occupied by the overweight male stewardess handing out sandwiches from Rubbermaid containers. This did not look good. The flight turned out to be quite similar to a ride on a scary roller coaster with the male stewardess in your lap more than his own seat. Something to do with flying over the Alps in winter in a small plane, wind currents, downdrafts & low altitudes. We drove clown cars down through the mountains after that. The single most beautiful drive you will ever take is a winter drive from Vienna to Ljubljana through the mountains. The air is crisp & clean. The scenery unmatched anywhere in all my travels. Whenever I think of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen it is that drive in winter. Though driving clown cars through serious mountains can be a harrowing experience.

see C3.She Whispered, "Kolinska" #pezoutlaw #hollywood... for the rest of this story

Wardrobe. Me in my Trench Coat n Midnight Blue Velour Track Suit, clutching a paper towel in my left hand for security, true story. On the flight from the US to Europe I would not let the Flight Attendants take my coat as I did not trust anybody. 

 Sitting in my seat on that flight to Slovenia, I began wondering how I ended up here, sure I was about to die. The whispered word "Kolinska" that led me to that moment in time. From 1970 to 1990 I had been an accumulator of things old, from 1990 to 1994 I started doing antique n toy shows as a seller. During 1993 I started selling Pez from Canada, which led to the decade that changed my life's direction forever. All the previous was reflection while sitting on this plane ride from Hell, from here the adventure begins.


The story unfolds.

Final shot.
As the credits roll show a backshot of Pez Outlaw today sitting on set in the dark watching his life being made into a Hollywood Movie.
To me this is the money shot, telling the audience that after all that they just watched HE WON.
Life is hard n people need the encouragement of seeing that if you stick with it n believe in yourself, you actually can succeed.





The 1st known photo of Pez Outlaw






The Pez Outlaw story takes place in the 1990s and involves my conflict with Pez Corporation. 
A decade that was the happiest time of my life.

In 1997-1998 I made a fateful decision to invest 1/2 million dollars in Pez. Half was old stock, half was product I designed.

In late 1998 I received the news that Pez USA was going to copy everything that I had designed n bought from Pez Europe.

My biggest regret is deciding to buy that 1/2 million dollars worth of Pez Product.
The irony is that without that choice I never would have entered this phase of my life or written Pez Outlaw Diary. 
Pez Outlaw Diary only exists because I needed a way to understand and process the rise n fall of Pez Outlaw. 

Spies, Black Market Deals, Smuggling n Bribery. 
10 Years Nobody Could Catch Me. 

Gun Towers, Armed Guard Check Points, Military Equipment on Tarmacs at Airports n Hookers almost everywhere you turned. FYI the Hookers were anything but shy. Five or six on the roadside as you drove by, one out of five would be flashing you, lifting her shirt as an invite. At a roadside food-stand one Hooker was wearing, we'll call them trousers, so sheer that she might as well have been wearing nothing. Add to that the always present groups of Gypsies
n bubba you got a story. 

Ex KGB Resorts. This place was actually pretty cool in a KGB sorta way. At the center of everything was this old looking glass enclosed swimming pool with a brick changing room attached, surround by wooden cabins for rooms. Lockers the whole bit. It was the pool that was the big deal. The pool was fed by a hot sulfur spring, so you swam in hot sulfur water. Of course we tried it. It was a very unique experience and as we were lost when we found it, I could not tell you for the life of me where it was. A lot of these experiences were very unique & the last remnants of something soon gone forever.


Ex KGB Towers. At the borders of most old Eastern Block countries there were at regular intervals Guard Towers. They reminded me of water towers here but flatter & more saucer in shape with windows & a wrap around porch. These were the big ones, there were also smaller ones made of wood that reminded me of Park Ranger Towers over here. There were still a lot of cold war things standing in the early 90s.

The stories of Gypsies, Prostitutes, clandestine meetings, Bribes, smuggling in plain sight, my own version of the Wild Wests Hole In The Wall being The Raba Hotel in Gyor Hungary n how Pez Corporation would have killed to know that location. How the staff at the Raba literally guarded my privacy. How my movements resemble a covert agent more than some Redneck buying Pez.

Note
I didn't just drive on the sidewalk in front of Pez Austria, Linz. This happened in other places in the old eastern block + Slovenia. I can't remember exactly why josh n I did this, all I remember is that on multiple occasions it was just the easiest solution. I blame this behavior on tiny tiny cars.
I also accidentally drove through a non vehicle area of downtown Viena.
Offers from prostitutes was a daily occurrence. Exposure sometime literally to prostitution were multiple daily. 

 The following are surveillance photos taken on the sly by me. For this transaction I paid Gunther Leitner for 50 boxes of 12 carded Silver Glows per box. The driver and I were then told where to meet off site by Gunther.
It Fell Off The Back Of A Truck. 


Photos are of the silver glow Pez buy. The driver was under orders from Gunther Leitner. I paid Gunther, then met the driver for delivery.


That's me on the left. These are Photos I took covertly while buying Pez.


Covert Pez photos I took. That's me on the right. Tell a friend many more to come.

The Raba Hotel in Gyor Hungary
This is the Raba Hotel in Gyor. I spent well over 6 months here if you add up all my stays over a 10 year period. I loved this place. Highly recommended if you visit Hungary. Last few years of my travels my room was in far left corner of picture. The ones with balconies.

Restaurant at the Raba Hotel. I spent a lot of time here smoking cigarettes drinking espresso & Fanta orange as a chaser. Absolutely lovely place, many fond memories. Table with thingy on it was my table.

The Elvis Cafe.
The Elvis Cafe was this really weird restaurant located at the side of the road. I used to pass this cafe every trip in Hungary. Like I said, If you take the M1 freeway you really don't see Hungary. You have to take two lane blacktops if you want to see a passenger plane sticking out of a building. This restaurant was located about midway between the Vienna Hungarian border and Gyor. I actually stopped at this cafe several times. Had espresso up in the plane and bought several T-shirts.
Elvis Cafe outside Gyor in Hungary. Picture courtesy of Rudi.

The Real Pez Truck
The real for real Pez truck. Parked at the Yellow House aka Hungarocany in Gyor. For all the trucks that have been made and sold to collectors. I never understood why someone did not make the real thing. For me this truck is an icon. This truck is also the reason I thought Gunther was disappointed after we made our first Pez buy. He had them back it up to the warehouse, so once we were done it could be loaded for transport. That buy was early days only a few thousand dollars. What am I saying? I never in 10 years bought more than could fit in a good medium size car. Five duffel bags was my limit. I used to see this truck in Hungary, Slovenia and in between. Picture courtesy of Rudi.

Janossomorja
J√°nossomorja  was the name of the town or was it the warehouse where Gunther sent me. All you had to do was spot the smoke stack with Pez on it. then find the roads that got you there. This was the warehouse where Pez dispensers were stored. At the time it was also where candy was made and pez were carded. Like Kolinska in Slovenia. More or less the distribution hub for the old Eastern Block countries and Russia. Gunther owned that part of the world when it came to Pez.
Austria, Traun.


This is the building Where I found Gunther Leitner that day. That's my crappy little red rental car turning the corner. Unlike the photo the parking lot was empty and the main door was wide open.
Below Photo of the Ferry Boat I booked passage on with Silja Ferry Lines in Sweden. Inset is Pez Pal Mariner. 
I arrived at Silja Ferry lines & was allowed to board the ferry & go to the gift shop on board the ship. There I met this really wonderful lady who ran things named Tuula. She said we have about 60 or so Pez Pal Mariner available but you have to be on board as a passenger & at sea before I can sell you any. I told her I really needed a lot of them so she checked & said she had 2 pallets of pez pal mariner at the other port. Off I went to buy a ticket. I booked a round trip, in a Tax deductible high end room. It was a room with an exterior window, so a view of the whole trip. This room even had a shower & a TV. Until this trip the idea of being on a large boat out in the middle of a big body of water left me a little uneasy. After this trip I realized it was more like being in a small city that happened to be a boat.




Pez Outlaw - SJ Glew, The biggest Pez Dealer in the world for 5 years in the 1990s. Spent more than 2 million dollars buying over 2 million Pez dispensers. Made over 70 trips to Europe buying Pez, paying bribes and smuggling Pez dispensers. Pez Outlaw had a very big impact on an entire line of Pez Corporate product causing the Pez Color War.  Over 20 Pez Dispensers were produced in direct result of Pez Outlaw activities by Pez Corporation. Distribution procedures in place for decades were altered because of Pez Outlaw Activities. Author of Pez Outlaw Diary. pezoutlaw.com
On one trip Gunther Leitner sold me aprox 50 boxes of Silver glow Pez dispensers. If I remember correct each box contained 24 carded Silver glow Pez dispensers. At this point Josh n I were staying in Austria so back to our hotel we went. At the Austria Hungary border the Austrian guards required a bond on the 50 boxes of Pez dispensers to be refunded when items were checked in at the airport. So we went back to the hotel n down packed the 50 boxes of pez into 3 large boxes of pez. When we got to the airport customs refused to refund my bond, saying 3 boxes is not 50. Where are the other 47 boxes of pez? The scene escalated till what the Delta airlines rep saw when he walked into the room was. An American with a pony tail & long beard screaming at officials. Two machine gun armed Austrian border guards looking on at the ready n Josh petrified at the whole scene. Delta walked in calmed everybody down, gave Josh a couple aspirin & mediated the whole situation. I flew Delta Airlines from then on, they never failed to stand up for me in any situation.




I've always felt that when Pez Outlaw walks off into the sunset, it will be under one of these Alien Umbrellas.
Homage to Chaplin's Little Tramp. For me there are a lot of similarities between Chaplin's Little Tramp n Pez Outlaw. Both stuck there fingers in the eyes of authority. Both are charming yet wicked. Both have very big hearts.

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Big Fish Mystery #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Neal just mentioned how that guy keeps calling me Larry.
Tealk told him that it's better than having to be called Murry.
Personally I prefer to be refereed to as Hey You or him.

I just hit 20,000 followers on twitter.
Thank You all so very much.
The Goal is to raise Pez Outlaw visibility toward goals of the book and movie.


It's me, not you.
Those that can do.
Those that can't teach.
Those that have money do big things.
Those that don't write about big things.

Once thought to be the answer.
Now we should fear its presence.
The destroyer of Worlds.
I'm not allowed to talk about my dreams anymore.
It's complicated.


Case File 19

15 years ago I was in Paris.
No idea what the future held.

Shadows fall.
How do I fit my dreams into this reality?

Don't tell people what you know is true.
Wear the face people expect to see. 

I keep going back to 51% Sane.
Are you ready for what's coming?

Bones in the crawl space? 
If not for crazy, reality would kill me. 

The shame of Time lost.
My Angel is gone.

Neglected past, unrecognized present.
Fantasy the last refuge.

The tears of a child for his future.
Is it yet to come?

I can't control how others see me.
Truth revealed itself.


Shame fell away.
Darkness claimed it's own.

I'd like to share a thought.
Once you leave this Earth n a Thousand years go by.
Do you really think that belief you held to the point of Hatred matters as much as you thought once nobody even remembers you?


I rarely turn on my facebook account, possibly 30 seconds each twice a day, so if you need to contact me best to use twitter. Pez Outlaw, sj glew 
@pezoutlaw

Champion, Rocks Float , 14,000 views.
4 posts in Notes From The Asylum have well over 7,000 views each.

Notes From The Asylum currently is at 600,000 views overall. 
My twitter page has had approx 5million impressions.


*******************************

"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas


Life is just the agreed upon version of crazy. 
My search is connect what we usually can't see.
Big Fish was a gift, that I'm very grateful for.

The title always comes first.
The words fall down underneath it.
The Universe in all its forms will speak to you if you are listening.

I have no use for the past n little for the present.
My interest is the moments in between.
Moments of clarity, a brief conversation with the unseen.

Reality is tedious, but moments of clarity are delicious.
I live each day in the hope of those brief moments.
I don't get them every day or even once a week, but often enough that I wait for each one.

That's why I'm so grateful for Big Fish.
The title is the key that unlocks the door.
Within is that which feeds my soul. 

Abstract thought is like dancing between raindrops n not getting wet.
The raindrops of the past, the present n the future.
What I want can only be found between the drops of rain.


*******************************

I really like Big Fish Mystery.
In my attempts to create abstraction with words, to date it's my best.
I really hope that you agree. 

Big Fish is now at over 5,000 views n at the top of my A-List. 
When you love something it feels really good to see approval. 

? some perspective might shed light.
I have cut approx 300 of the 520 posts I've written.
It used to be I cut a post if it only achieved 250 views in say 4 months.
Now posts with 500+ views get cut, I only want the best on Notes From The Asylum.
Very soon that bar will be any post with less than 1,000 views will get cut from NFTA.
Number of views are like ratings here at the Asylum, just like TV low ratings get cut.

Notes From The Asylum is just under 2yrs old.
It used to take 6months to a year for a post to hit 1,000 views.
Only 2 other posts have had this type of success out of the 500 posts I've written n the 194 that have survived on NFTA.
That said though over a dozen posts are now at over 4,000 views ea.
1 post is at over 7,000 views, 2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #holly...

Of all the things I've done in my life, I would find the most gratification in Notes From The Asylum being published. 
NFTA is creation n I love that most of all.

Within the next 2 months Notes From The Asylum will reach a very big milestone.
Unfortunately, to broadcast it might not be something I should share.

*****************************

To my knowledge Congress nor the President are going to pass a law giving Pez Outlaw success.

So Forgive me, I just feel if my life is gonna change, I gotta do it.
Various administrations come n they go, my destiny is up to me.
So Holidays etc, I continue to work. 

Other peoples good fortune is there's not mine.
I choose not to live through there success or failure.
To do so would diffuse my efforts. 

Congratulations n good luck but honestly it will not change my life.
Only my efforts can be mine or change my life.
That said we continue, I have daily goals that must be met. 

***************************************************


Today my mood like my Boots has a lot of mud on it.
Have you ever noticed how your mood reflects the weather?

Yesterday one of the gals had a really good day with her horse.
She was walking around on cloud 9 n didn't want the day to end.

It's all perspective isn't it.
I've been slogging around in 4 inches of mud for 4 days now, so my perspective is different.

It's all where you stand.
Nice hard ground n enclosed arena or out in the pens like me n the horses.

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 

Totally off subject.
Recently I was made aware of a Blue Dog needing a home.
I just couldn't, I need a Big Red Dog.
Like Maggie Thatcher said, I'm getting Wobbly.
Big Red Dogs (Bull Mastiff's) are my Spirit Guides. 
Yes, I believe in that stuff with all my heart.
It's been to long.

Just dawned on me, maybe that's her name.
Maggie. 

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.



After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary








Saturday, June 9, 2018

Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #hollywood

What an interesting n odd way to look at something.My guess is you clicked this post hunting for an enlightening metaphor. 
Of course there is one but not today, today it's about the other things that give me joy.

Yes rocks float, to clarify in dirt.
Have you ever noticed how rocks seem to work there way up to the surface.
There's a point to this. 

Over the last week I've been working on a kinda big project.
Moving a barn n creating a circle drive.
Barn was in a bog n smack in the middle of where I wanted to put the circle drive.

I'd put a large amount of rocks at the entrances to the barn.
Well if I'd left them there they'd have just work up n killed the mower.
So I dug them all out n used them as a base for the drive.

The project is going well, but it would go better if I had any money.
What I wouldn't give for 5 six inch 8ft fence posts, 6 of 12ft 4x4s n 6 sheets of 3/4 OSB.
Make do n increase the labor quotient.

Temp is about 80 now n the work has been brutal.
Chores, manure removal, getting hay, then the projects.
4 hrs to mow, then weed whacking, plus the gardens.

Yesterday was stump removal day, got 5 of them out, 3 to go.
Did I mention that I do this shit alone.
Well me the tractor n Billy Dog.

This morning I got up n to my surprise I felt pretty good.
Felt like crapp for about a week.
Just plain wore out.

When I was a child I played football in 9th n 10th grade.
Workouts began in August.
We're talking exercise till you puke workouts.

This spring has been that same kind of rough.
10 days ago I thought I was getting back in shape after winter.
Silly Rabbit.

The last week has been a whole new level of tired.
You push up to the line n hydrate.
Collapse n do it again the next day n the next day.

I know where the line is.
Muscles start cramping from fatigue.
You needed to stop half hr ago. 

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate.
I drink 48 oz of water in summer each day while I work.
I also drink 16 oz of Electric Lights liquid. 

Electric lights is intentional so no comments.
I'll live in my world, you live in yours.
My ways more fun.

Then you wake up one morning n you don't feel to bad.
Actually feel kinda good.
I like work, it keeps the mind busy.

Anyway, Rocks Float.

I just realized something.
I'm not invested in any particular post.
Me, just talking. 
I'm perfectly happy to let readers decide what they like.

here's what you think.





After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary





















































Friday, June 8, 2018

2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #hollywood

If you elect me President of the United States, 
Everybody Gets A Puppy.

VOTE Pez Outlaw for President

It's for the children.

The country seems divided into 2 camps as to whether you hate or love President Trump
I'd like to offer a third choice, Leave all that behind, love and vote for Pez Outlaw. YES, I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, I haven't got the energy to love or hate anybody, because I Love Me!

Show your disgust with whatever Political WhooHa is sending you up the wall by giving your write in vote to PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT IN 2020. I'd sure appreciate it.
 
The way I figure it is this, if you're gonna waste your vote on someone who is not gonna win, make that vote me.
I always wanted to be a US congressman or senator, but I'll settle for President.
I'm seriously asking you to write in Pez Outlaw as your vote for President in 2020.
How could you possibly do worse?

I figure if I can get the CRAZY vote  that I'm a shoe in for President in 2020.





I'm attempting to crowd fund your write in vote for Pez Outlaw for president as publicity to get a book published.



It's for the children

PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT
It's for the children, puppies n kittens.








WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT in 2020
I'm a Strong believer in nepotism, I Will fill as many positions as possible with family members.
  

the caliber of my appointees..



If elected President I only think it's fair to give you an idea of the caliber of my appointees..
 










Every Dead person that can should get out n Vote Pez Outlaw for President






WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Presidential Qualifications
I shovel Horse Shit for a living.



Every Presidential election year a lot of Americans decide to not vote for any of the candidates for President on the ballot. These voters instead choose to write in a name of there own for President as a gesture of defiance concerning what is on offer. These write in votes are a right in our election process but unfortunately count very little in the end. My hope is that if you are going to write in a candidate for President that you make your protest in the name Pez Outlaw. If I can get enough people who write in a candidate for president to write in Pez Outlaw a secondary good will come from your act of protest. Your vote might also have the secondary effect of getting me a book deal. 

Your write in vote will gain you nothing, so why not let it do some good for somebody else. ME! To address a concern you might have as to how good a writer I actually am. For this book I'm trying to get published with the help of you writing in Pez Outlaw for President. I'm already under contract with the ghost writer Jeff Maysh who wrote the April 2015 Playboy story The Pez Outlaw see-  http://www.playboy.com/articles/pez-outlaw   which won 2 writing awards. see- Pez Outlaw Wins 2 Awards #pezoutlaw #hollywood    

So I'm asking you to Vote Pez Outlaw as a write in for President. You know that you are going to do it anyway, all I'm asking is that you let that act of protest have a secondary good by making your write in vote for president be Pez Outlaw.

I love this straight jacket pic.



Because there are so many voices/personalities in my head, my campaign is fully staffed.
Pez Outlaw for President.   









I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time


I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time #pezoutlaw #hollywood: VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8, 2020



I want to recycle your write in protest vote for president into something new, a Pez Outlaw Book. Vote Pez Outlaw for President.



My philosophy on life is this. You never give up, never give in n never quit trying. Try everything no matter how foolish others might think you are for attempting it. That you do is what separates you from those who only wish for things. I have now spent almost 2 decades on this 1 project, that's the dedication to a dreams fulfillment that it takes.




I have zero money, but even that to me is no excuse. As always the trick is to find the loophole n exploit it. I have my story so for me this time that loophole is the great equalizer of the internet. With the internet I can without money pursue my dream of a Pez Outlaw book. If you write in Pez Outlaw for president this year, my dream of a book could come true.

At first glance I accept how crazy this idea seems, but if people who write in a vote for president choose Pez Outlaw, it will work.
That old thing, it's so crazy, it might just work.
VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Pez Outlaw For President, Recent campaign rally.

Donald trump might get 10,000 to 15,000 people at a rally, but look how many people we got in a phone booth.

Yes we held a campaign rally in a phone booth, it was the only place we could get, but we packed em in. 




Cabinet Meeting of my administration

I promise as President to do absolutely nothing except take pointless trips on Airforce 1 n play Golf.



From the big brain room






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In my reality, only my numbers are relevant.












I'm shamelessly seeking validation n approval, hence the following.

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Within insanity, find good
Out of chaos, find purpose
Solutions are found in the most unlikely of places
To find answers, you must have eyes that can see
Faith n belief in yourself, will carry you  

This crazy pretend world I've created is where I find refuge from the harsh n painful realities of life. My dreams are what sustain me. All my crazy schemes give me hope.

Now, On With The Show

I'm campaigning for the Mickey Mouse, Evan McMullin, Gary Johnson n Jill Stein Vote. 

VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8
Why Not, could I possibly be worse?


America has a long n proud history of crazy people running for President.
My turn.

"As President, I Pez Outlaw couldn't possibly do worse."
Pez Outlaw for President yard sign.
Pez Outlaw for President, Better than Mickey Mouse. 

It's a race to the bottom for President, Vote Pez Outlaw for President because I'm it.
So if you're looking for the bottom of the barrel for President, look no further, Pez Outlaw. 
In a year of bad choices for President, Why not make the worst choice, Pez Outlaw.


Are you better off than you were 8yrs ago?
Things could be worse, Vote Pez Outlaw for President. 

A Vote for Pez Outlaw is a vote for ummmmmm yup change.

If elected I promise a 1957 Ford Truck in every garage.
You'll thank me later, after the pulse.

Pez Outlaw for President Campaign slogan.
My best friend has a favorite stick.
Though her favorite stick changes every few days, they wear out.

I  know a lot of folks are terribly conflicted this year n are gonna write in a crazy name in protest.
I'm here to ask for that vote.
Write in any other name is just a shameful waste. 
Make your write in vote PEZ OUTLAW for president because I might get a book deal out of it.
From my perspective that vote then would not have been wasted. 

Think of your write in vote of PEZ OUTLAW for president as crowd funding a book deal for me.

Every Presidential election year a significant number of people vote for Mickey Mouse.
I'm asking for the Mickey Mouse vote.
Let's make it Pez Outlaw this time.

I know a lot of people are ashamed to say who they are voting for right now.
Say PEZ OUTLAW for President with pride. 

If mistakenly elected President, I promise to only serve 90 days, just long enough to get a great retirement package.

As President I promise that all my speeches will be pointless rambling about nothing n made up stuff.
As president many of my speeches would simply be "Dude" then, he gone.

As President I would rent out every room in the White House like a bed n breakfast to raise money to pay down the National debt. 

As President I would turn the White House front lawn into a horse pasture for the Old Man n his Buds. 


As President all motorcades would include me on my tractor moving at a snails pace. 

As President besides doing nothing, I promise to also stand for nothing. 

I promise as President it would be like I wasn't even there. 


But Wait There's More, Act now n..........


Here's the book Pez Outlaw Diary 
It's FREE online to read, right now.




After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Secrets #pezoutlaw #hollywood



My grandson wants my life n I want my dog Proby's life.


Revealing truth is liberating.
Withholding truth makes you vulnerable.
Secrets are a cancer on your soul.
Yet life is filled with secrets.

You can't live without relationships.
Though the maintenance is set with Booby-traps.
One wrong step n that spiky thing comes at you.
When did it get so complicated.

You'd think honesty would protect you.
Some days I get wore out from careful conversation. 
The truth is, you can't be honest with people.
Total honesty repels people. 

I just apologized to a friend for saying what's on my mind.
I wish it was the first time.
I told him that I seem to have a talent for making people not want to talk to me.
Just an observation, how much it matters I'm uncertain of.

So you hold your thoughts close.
Until that one person who gets you, Joshua my son says something.
N you almost scream in response, Yeah!
The response is almost a cry of relief.

Then Joshua says something else n again halfway though you shout, YEAH!
Thinking all the while, Why don't others seem to see it.
Then Josh says people are telling him he's becoming more like me by the day.
It was inevitable, I am my father, Joshua is me n Danny or Jake will be Joshua.

So what's the point?
There is none, just frustration.
People say they want the truth or an honest answer, but they really don't.
They want to hear whatever version makes them feel OK with themselves.

Problem is that I usually know what I want and what I think.
Where I get in trouble is when I share it.
Are there rules I don't know how to follow?
Is this written down somewhere?

I've met people who look scared at the thought of saying what they want.
N if you press them, it angers them, like I'm somehow not respecting the process.
I see this over n over and I still don't understand it.
I am willing to accept what I want, To some what they want is a process.

People say I get there to quick, n that I'm impatient.
The thing is that I know what I want n time is slipping away.
With Pez, What made me different?
Really simple. I saw something n I acted on it, while others thought about acting. 

I'm as puzzled today at almost 65 as I was a child of 5. 
I'm not delusional, I don't think that this is brilliant. 
I'm just purging. 
My imaginary shrink says I need to write things down.

It's like I told Josh, write it out straight, then make it abstract.
Because if you say it straight it offends people.
Keep it vague n people can interpret the meaning to there liking.
Truth can be liberating but it can also be cruel or unwanted.

That n I believe I push to hard.
For which I'm truly sorry.
But we know I won't change.
It's like the scorpion n the river, It's my nature.

I will say this though.
I may know what I think from given information.
Though I have no idea what that information will be.
Meaning, I have no idea what the future holds.

I know what I want but it's in the hands of those pesky relationships.
N Yup you guessed it, they don't want to talk to me.
A Feller could get a complex, were it not for ego. 
I'm OK, You're OK. Are we good?

Why are people determined to draw you into the things they find interesting?
I refuse to waste my time on all the useless endeavors of others.
Computer n Cell Phone obsession is the worst, what a bunch of drivel.
Please attend this or join me at that.
NO! 
Then the guilting, but it would make me happy if you did.
Does it count for nothing that it would make me miserable n potentially suicidal? 
People need to hear the word NO more.
You say NO nowadays n people react like you killed a puppy.


I remain. 
Not a Damn clue. 
Yours.
Pez Outlaw.

Thank God, it's time for therapy.
Smiley Face, today we get Jello or is it Pudding?
See what I mean?

My imaginary Shrink says, It only matters if you pretend to know if it's pudding or Jello. 

The Title should have been Jello or Pudding. 
Should I change it?
I like my life, I do things the way I like.
Example is the 4 line verse I use here, just because I like it.

We went on a deep dive today.
Hopefully it was amusing. 

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 
On the flip side, sometimes you delete posts because they made it sound like you care more than you actually do.
 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary


Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Him n Me - Pez Today #pezoutlaw #hollywood




Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.
You only think you've seen crazy?
The best is yet to come.

Pez Outlaw, Can you still bring the crazy that's needed?
Does a bear poo in the woods?
Sheldon that means YES! 

This time though you'd get more of a Howard Hughes Pez Outlaw than the sj glew Pez Outlaw of old.
Would that be a good thing?
Yes, a mysterious reclusive Pez Outlaw adds Myth, much written by necessity of the absence of data.
Also, if The New Pez Outlaw is a recluse, doesn't that make the few sightings of him more of an event worthy of attending.

Yes I write about Pez Outlaw in the 3rd person.
2 reasons.
1. I view Pez Outlaw as a character that embodies that part of my life.
2. If I can separate myself from him n I can (diagnosed schizophrenic in 1969) then I can as an outsider manage n promote him/Pez Outlaw.

To tell you the truth, Pez Outlaw n I are 2 very different people that bleed over into each other.
Me, I'm a recluse, not an extrovert characteristic in my body.
Pez Outlaw is larger than life itself n I really like him.
I can pour all the things I wouldn't n couldn't do into him.
Pez Outlaw is like a surrogate (Bruce Willis movie) I can step into to enter your world.

This though does create quite a few schisms between Pez Outlaw n myself.
Pez Outlaw believes all things I write about are possible n likely.
Me, not so much because I'm the skeptic.
Pez Outlaw thinks there will be a movie or that Pez Corp would of course make the Pez Outlaw collection.
On the other hand I myself believe both have a snowballs chance in hell.
Truth is that I let him run with those fantasies because it makes him happy n what harm is there in letting him believe.
Kinda like, Why would you tell a 5yr old that there's no Santa Claus.
It makes him happy.

At that I'm leaving out is Biff Rose n Thorn-apple Trees.

I may not believe in a lot of things but I do believe in Pez Outlaw.



On the collector side it also lacks vision.
I  recently offered 2,500 banks at .75cents per.
Cheap right! But it seems the ability to see how you could sell or use that many is gone.
I used to buy up to 10,000 per type of a dispenser knowing I could sell them all.
The vision is so much smaller now.


Fantasy Pez
They scare the hell out of me as to the future of Pez Collecting.
Best example a guy showing a Kooky Zoo Elephant clear blueish he created talking about his discovery of pressure method or something.
When the line between real n fantasy blurs this much, it is not a good thing.

Known Universe is becoming to large to wrap your mind around.
Say 1,000 known dispensers in approx 1994.
Today triple that n Pez Corp is going crazy creating everything they can license or imagine.
There needs to be a new demarcation point, similar to no feet to footed.
This is way over due.

Travel.
This morning I'm listening to Serious XM The Highway n the dj is talking about a singer traveling in Europe.
For the first time in a decade n a half I thought, Yeah I could do that again.
You have to wonder how Pez Corp would feel about a resurgence of Pez Outlaw in there lives.

With all I've written, here's something still untold.
I've never written or told anyone who my real contacts were.
I've protected these sources for over 2 decades n never will reveal them.
Yes I've mentioned some, but only the unimportant ones.
No matter how rough things have gotten, even when offered money, I've declined.
You can't buy or sell relationships.

Pez Outlaw Diary Book publishing rights 4sale by owner 75k


My impression from ebay is that Pez is in a slump.
David has MMM's I sold 20yrs ago for $25 to $35 at $26.00.
Generally I just don't see enthusiasm.

Makes me think Pez needs a good kick in the pants.
Would a big Pez Outlaw thingy be just the medicine?
A nationwide whamp of excitement n spotlight.

By now you all know me better from my writing in Notes From The Asylum.
I really don't like the spotlight, I prefer my quiet life.
If this thing happens I will make it about Pez Outlaw n Pez not me.

My hope is that all of you will use this opportunity for yourselves n the hobby of collecting Pez.
I have absolutely no problem with stepping back n letting you all have some fun with it.
Like Chancy Gardener said, "I like to watch".

Once this happens I believe it would be better served by a thousand points of light than one.
I won't need to tell you when to begin, it will be obvious.
Step forward n use it with my blessing, the more you do, the less I will have to. 

Lately I've become a fan of the pre2016 British Top Gear, because those guys were seriously nuts. (I don't care who hit who, FUNNY IS FUNNY! quit being so PC n fix it. comedy is supposed to be irreverent n anarchistic.) more (I'm not saying Matt Lablanc n that other guys 2016 show is awful, It's just not the Top Gear I like with Captain Slow, The Hamster n the Big Ape.)
The point is the crazy stuff Jeremy says in his intros to The Stig.
Make up all kinds of outlandish stories n recollections of Pez Outlaw.

The crazier the better.
Who am I to say it's not true. 
Pez Outlaw needs to become as much myth as Legend.
1st known photo of Pez Outlaw - 1957

Examples:
Pez Outlaw once walked the entire length of the Great Wall of China backwards because he thought he was being followed.
Pez Outlaw was offered the Presidency of Pez Corporation but couldn't afford the pay cut. 
Certain facts in the History of Pez Outlaw are true, but that doesn't mean everything needs to be.

Pez Outlaw came to being because of Pez n the Hobby of Collecting Pez.
In that sense Pez Outlaw n his story belongs to you also.
So have fun with it, "It's always better to ask forgiveness than Permission".

I mentioned how major dealers are selling pez at or below what I sold for 20 yrs ago.
To illustrate.

Pez I bought under questionable providence, I paid $1.25 each. 
Add to that the following costs;
Ticket to Europe n back approx $800 to $900.00
Car approx $500. to $800.00
Hotel $300 to $500.00
Extra luggage fee approx $300.00
Food etc $300.00

Point being any pez I brought into the USA from Europe had a base cost of approx $2.00 ea.
I'm just saying that I do not understand the low prices I'm seeing on ebay.

If? IF!
We'll see what we can do about that.
One last ride by Pez Outlaw.

If it happens Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.

Ask the folks who were at the conventions we attended.
They'll tell you what good times look like. 

True or False

Josh n I once ran around a Pez Convention in Gorilla Costumes. True.

I once turned over half a refrigerator box of Pez in the middle of the floor of a Pez Convention as a free mad scramble give away. True. actually twice, Cleveland n LA.

Pez Outlaw once drove his rental car through a mall area in downtown Vienna. True.

Pez Outlaw was held at gun point by Police/Military. True, this happened at least 2 to 3 times.

Anyway that's it for today.
Time to go be EB, putting final touches on tin horse shed today.
Yippie it's done, now on to the circle drive.

I thought this post was fun, hope you did to. 
1200 views in 48hrs. thank you so much for your support. 

Psycho Lucy

Psycho Lucy is probably one of the most underrated Pez dispensers ever made in a very short run. approx 300 were made, current value is $100 to $150.00

Psycho Lucy, one of Pez Outlaw's children.
Psycho Lucy was the first in a long line of Pez Outlaw Pez dispensers. Thank god this one was not duplicated by Pez USA.

Psycho Lucy is one of my fondest memories.  Black Santa n Psycho Lucy were the 2 best things to come out of my Pez years.

Psycho Lucy Pez dispenser. White paint on face instead of black. I asked Marco if he could make a Lucy Pez dispenser with white eyes. Somehow in translation this came out a White face Lucy Pez dispenser. So he created normal Lucy Pez dispenser but all face detailing done with white paint. This Pez dispenser was thought of because of the Lucy with White eyes. Marco created about 300 of this Pez dispensers for me. 

I named her Psycho Lucy because my first reaction when he showed this Pez dispenser to me was. She looks Psycho.

Most of what I did as Pez Outlaw was equal parts luck n perseverance. 
The key though is that you have to show up or luck just passes you by.
What a wonderful accident she was.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.





Pez Outlaw Diary